self reflection Archives - My Inner Shakti

My 2017 Mantra: Anything Not Everything

Yes, I’ve already thought about my 2017 mantra! No, I don’t have resolutions or goals…yet.

Anything not everything.

This short phrase plays on repeat in my head every now and then. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I have to make key decisions, when I want to finish off a pint of ice cream, etc. So instead of letting it just come and go as it pleases, I’m making it a permanent fixture in 2017 to help frame my thinking and give me a bit of perspective as needed.

In 2017, I want to do two things. I want to take advantage of the opportunities that come my way, and I also want to slow down and not be so hard on myself. Anything not everything reminds me that I can do whatever I put my mind to, but it doesn’t have to happen all at once. I can and should take my time and do what makes me happy.

This phrase also alleviates some of the pressure that comes from having a personality like mine. I want to be all things to all people at all times. I want to be an outstanding wife, a supportive sister/daughter, a solid friend, a dependable employee/co-worker. When I think about this from an anything not everything perspective, I feel like there’s a more even split in my relationships. I don’t have to carry the weight of every relationship on my shoulders. It’s…liberating!

I’m also a huge believer in making most of the time you in this very moment because tomorrow is not guaranteed. That’s why I focus so much on things like mindfulness. Viewing things with an anything not everything lens puts that into perspective. It serves as a reminder to prioritize and focus your energy on the things that matter most. There’s a reason why we can’t physically do everything…not everything is important!

So in 2017, I’m going to pick and choose which hats I wear and when, I’m going to prioritize and align my to do lists with my energy levels, I’m going to focus, enjoy, and live the hell out of the present moment, and I’m not ever going to feel bad about being/choosing anything not everything (this one is absolutely key!).

Your turn – even if you don’t have concrete thoughts about 2017 just yet, what are you thinking about in terms of a mantra, a word, resolutions, goals, etc.?

My Mindfulness Epiphany

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Truth be told, my mindfulness epiphany was that I’m not very mindful. But it’s more than that. Two very specific incidents brought me to this point.

First mindfulness epiphany

This one in particular happens more often than I’d like to admit, but the most recent incident happened last week. As I do every morning, I was taking a shower and going through my routine so I could be in and out in under 10 minutes. About half way through, I stopped and thought, “Did I wash my face already? I think I did but can’t remember.” Because this wasn’t the first time, it didn’t necessarily shock me that I couldn’t remember something from three minutes prior, but it did make me think. Am I really that mindless?

Second mindfulness epiphany

Turns out I am really that mindless, as evident by my second epiphany.

It was a regular work day. I woke up, worked out, showered, got ready, ate breakfast, said my prayers, and went to work. Except after I said my prayers, I came out of the room, gathered all of my stuff, and then proceeded to stand in the middle of my living room. I literally couldn’t remember if I finished all of the prayer verses I usually say. I also literally couldn’t remember if I shut the door to my temple. I couldn’t remember something I did two minutes ago…praying at that!

The prayer incident was the first time I ever felt so mindless. It really opened my eyes to how much my mind wanders during the day. Since that day, I’ve become hyper aware of how much I don’t focus on the task or moment at hand. This isn’t a huge revelation because I’ve always been this way. Mentally on to the next task before completing the current one. Typical me.

It’s only been a few weeks since my second epiphany, and I’m really trying to change. I can’t say I’ve found the magic pill for mindfulness, but I am trying a few things to get myself on track. Things like finishing the task at hand before moving on to the next and not grabbing my phone every time I feel bored or think I deserve a break and saying what I’m doing out loud while doing it (sounds crazy but a good friend of mine once told me this really works).

I’ll let you guys know if any of the above changes anything. Mindfulness is something I really want to build into my way of being. It’s just a wee bit easier said than done!

Your turn – have you mastered mindfulness? What’s one simple trick you use to be more mindful? Have you had any mindfulness epiphanies similar to mine?

Overcoming that Overwhelming Feeling

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A few weeks ago, I blogged about feeling overwhelmed and a little out of whack. It felt like we were constantly on the go and never had any time to unwind/relax. Even when random pockets of time appeared, my mind constantly stayed in motion – what’s next, what could/should I be doing right now, etc. Not at all the way I prefer to operate!

I got what was in my head out on the screen and promised (myself) to do things differently. That brings us to today.

Life is honestly just as wacky, but I’m finding that I’m a lot calmer (this is relative!). I think this has to do with a few simple changes I put into place to make my days feel more balanced. Changes like…

Reading – I scheduled mandatory reading nights where I crawl into bed a little early and read until my eyes feel heavy (this usually takes 15-20 minutes).

Prepping – Vishnu and I take 10-15 minutes every night and prep for the following day. Things like packing our lunches, getting our bags ready, etc.

Weekending – Upon examining my weekends, I realized that I schedule various errands on both Saturday and Sunday. Now, instead of doing that, I’m planning ahead to ensure one of the days is as free from mundane obligations as possible.

Asking for help – I’m absolutely horrible at this. But I know that in order to not feel overwhelmed, I need to ask for help, especially at home. Vishnu and I discussed this one and came to an understanding – it’s hard for me to ask for help, he doesn’t always extend help because of this, we need to meet somewhere in the middle. Let’s call this one a work in progress!

Sleeping – This one isn’t as much about the act of sleeping as it is about the process of going to sleep. Because we didn’t have nightstands until this weekend, I used my phone as an alarm clock. However, instead of putting the phone in a random corner of the room, I kept it on the ledge next to the bed. This equated to way too much time spent mindlessly perusing the internet right before bed. A very bad habit!

So now, I’m going back to my roots and using an actual alarm clock versus my phone. I’m hoping this helps with my sleep quality which should pretty much trickle down to every part of my life!

These are the habits that have brought more calm into my life over the past few weeks. In terms of what else I need/want to start doing, here’s that list…

Meditating – Study after study shows that meditating for even a few hours a day yields huge benefits. It’s me time in the truest sense, and I need to build 5-10 minutes of it into my daily schedule.

Running [outside] – I have yet to find a ‘Parita approved’ outdoor running route near our apartment. Being accustomed to outdoor running in Florida, I find this to be such a bummer. Outdoor running (vs. treadmill running) is so energizing for me. I need to find a route ASAP before the temperature starts to take a turn for the worse.

Even though I feel much better than I did a few weeks ago, I know the ups and downs will come and go. And to be honest, I think I’m getting better at dealing with them every time. Here’s to overcoming that overwhelming feeling!

Your turn – what are your tips and tricks for overcoming those overwhelming feelings?

Repeat After Me – Everything is Figureoutable

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Figureoutable is not a Parita term. I only heard of it very recently while watching a Marie Forleo Super Soul Sunday episode. This was one of those random things I watched while sitting at my desk and eating lunch, and I honestly didn’t expect for it to impact me as much as it did. In fact, repeating the phrase “everything is figureoutable” over and over again during our move is what kept me sane!

If you want to know what figureoutable means to Marie, watch the episode. To me, it’s a great reminder not to freak out immediately! Even the most challenging situation is figureoutable. You may not like the solution, but it’s there. Something else this word reminds me is that solutions don’t come easy, you have to work for them. You have to figure it out – take a deep breathe, let the emotion go (with time), use your head, and take whatever action feels right to you.

This episode fell into my lap/inbox at the perfect time. My one goal with our move to Chicago was to stay calm and not let the stress get to me. Personally, I think I did a hell of a job…no major arguments with Vishnu, no breakouts, no tears. Win, win win! And trust me, the opportunities for all of those things to happen were there, I just chose not to let them get to me. I focused on the fact that everything is figureoutable!

To bring this made up word to life, I want to share two prime scenarios that come to mind. The first had to do with packing up our car. Vishnu was very skeptical that we could fit all of our stuff into our “tiny” sedan. He stated this multiple times. I, on the other hand and somewhat surprisingly, took a different view. You guessed it – one way or another, everything would be just fine because everything is figureoutable. I kept telling him that if things didn’t fit, we could use UPS to mail them to Chicago, we could donate them, or we could throw away some of the unessential items. We’re two intelligent people, and together we would figure it out. I’m not sure repeating a made up word helped Vishnu, but it did prevent us from arguing, and it did help us when space seemed so limited. We did have to leave a few things behinds, but we were also able to bring along some things that we didn’t expect to. It all worked out!

The second scenario where maintaining the “everything is figureoutable” mindset worked in our favor was when we actually got to Chicago and had to figure out how to get our four large suitcases and 12 boxes home from the Amtrak station. We were unsure as to what to do because multiple trips were necessary, I had to go to work the day our stuff came in, etc. To make a long story short, I quickly stopped the oncoming freak out, took a deep breath, and started throwing out ideas. The one that stuck involved using Task Rabbit (this is a great service that allows you to hire people to do whatever tasks you need doing). I suggested hiring someone with a truck to meet Vishnu at the station and help him bring our stuff home. Lo and behold, we found someone almost immediately, and he was highly rated and very affordable. I honestly don’t think I would’ve been able to think of this random solution without my new mindset.

I recognize that these examples are pretty minor compared to the hard stuff life often throws at us. However, after giving it quite a bit of thought, I’m convinced that a figureoutable mindset can help us get through the toughest of times. Like I said before, you may not like the solution, but it’s there.

Repeat after me – “Everything is “figureoutable.”

What mantra helps get you through stressful/tough times?

What is NOT the point of life?

written by Parita 17 Comments

As stated so perfectly in this Clarity on Fire post, I often find myself getting stuck in the daily grind and then eventually asking what is the point of all of this. That kind of thinking eventually leads to the bajillion dollar question – what is the point of life? Putting aside the broad and generic responses, I find this question really hard to answer. I mean, it’s pretty much as deep as it gets!

But what if you approached the question from a different angle. Instead of asking what is the point of life, ask yourself what is not the point of my life. The addition of that one word changes everything. We all inherently know what is not the point of our lives, but when you don’t frame the question in that way, the answer seems unattainable.

Anyway, after reading Kristen’s post, I opened up the Notes app on my phone and started typing furiously. You guys know I’m a pen and paper kind of girl, however, I want to have my list handy whenever I need an extra boost. It serves as a great reminder of all the things (big and small) I really need to let go of (if I haven’t already).

With that, here’s my “what is not the point of life” list…

Being perfect
Having everyone like/love you
Climbing the career ladder
Staying inside my comfort zone
Being super fit
Being everything to everyone
Playing the comparison game
Holding grudges
Being right (and wanting to prove it)
Caring about what everyone else thinks about your decisions/actions
Pretending to be someone you’re not
Being afraid to make mistakes
Having a super clean and put together home
Holding on to the past

…and I’m sure this list will continue to grow over time.

It’s ironic how we all know what our list looks like even if we don’t put pen to paper. But when it comes down to what we choose to focus on, it’s often those very things that end up draining our energy.

I’m no exception to the above. That is why I’m going to try my very best to let go of everything that is not the point of my life and hopefully open myself up to everything that is!

How’s that for a deep end of the week post?!

Happy Friday!

What’s on your “this is not the point of my life” list?

PAST, present, FUTURE

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Happy Monday (or as happy as Mondays can be)! By the time I got home from work, I wasn’t as hungry as I usually am – surprise, surprise. This afforded me the time to make a meal that involved some prep work. I scoped out the ingredients in my tiny kitchen and decided on pasta. Tonight’s feature included spinach, zucchini, yellow squash, chickpeas, spicy marinara sauce, and goat cheese – random but hearty and delicious! Not only did this meal fill me up, but it was super easy to make.

With the pasta boiling off to one side, I sautéed the zucchini and squash in some olive oil. After a few minutes, I added the spinach and let it wilt. I then seasoned the veggies with some salt, pepper, and garlic powder (all to taste). Next, I added the chickpeas and let everything cook through before adding the sauce. Once the sauce was in, I taste tested and added paprika for some extra heat. Once the pasta was al dente, it was incorporated with the veggies and sauce. I topped off my serving with some goat cheese and ~~devoured~~ (just kidding) ate everything one bite at a time…verrrry slooowly! [Side note: Slow Down Challenge is going well, and I will post more tomorrow.]

Simmering away...

All mixed up

PAST, present, FUTURE

I was reading a few blogs today, and I realized that not everything I post needs to be super positive. Life’s not perfect, and while I don’t ever want to be Ms. Negative Nancy Blogger, I do want to be real. With that being said, one of the things that I have always struggled with is living in the past and the future but never in the present. I can’t imagine I’m the only one out there that’s like this, but oftentimes I find myself constantly wanting to go back in time or jump ahead to some future time when “everything will be perfect.” When I find myself heading in either of those directions, I try to remind myself that I can’t control the past or the future, but I have full control over my thoughts in the here and now. Like a lot of things in life, this is easier said than done. Change and uncertainty have never been my forte, but I like to think that I’m getting better at dealing with both. But there are always those times when a feeling of sadness washes over me because I am stuck in my own memories or in my thoughts about some unknown future.

After seeing all the devastation in Japan and hearing all the heartbreaking stories on the news, I’ve been thinking about how precious our time on Earth really is. I can’t even begin to imagine the thoughts running through the minds of those that were and continue to be affected by the earthquake and tsunami. All I know is that I now want to work harder at getting out of my own thoughts and focus more on living in the present because in the end, it’s all we can really do, and it’s all we really have.

Do you ever find yourself stuck in the past or zooming ahead to the future? How do get your mind to focus on the present?

My 2017 Mantra: Anything Not Everything

My Mindfulness Epiphany

Overcoming that Overwhelming Feeling

Repeat After Me – Everything is Figureoutable

What is NOT the point of life?

PAST, present, FUTURE

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