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Gretchen Rubin Four Tendencies Quiz

The Four Tendencies Quiz – Take It Before Making Your 2016 Resolutions

written by Parita 8 Comments

I took an online personality quiz, and it changed my life.

Said no one ever.

Not even me – the girl who loves discovering and taking new quizzes.  And I’ll admit that when the results page pops up on my screen, I sit and read every word.  I may even reflect for a few minutes.  But after that, it’s basically in one ear and out the other.  Hardly ever do I use what I learn from these “revealing” quizzes.

Of course, there are a couple of exceptions.

The first one is The 5 Love Languages quiz I took, made Vishnu take, and then blogged about a year or so ago.  I still think about this one because it’s so spot on.  The second quiz that really opened my eyes is Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies quiz.  Going into it, I knew exactly which bucket I would fall under (I’m an Upholder through and through).  So that wasn’t exactly revealing.  The “results page” though, that was what got me thinking.  Not that it was super detailed…however, it was simple enough to understand and the concepts can easily be thought about in terms of real life situations/experiences.

I liked the Four Tendencies quiz enough to make Vishnu sit down and take it too.  If you know my husband, you know this is no easy feat.  Anyways, while I knew exactly which tendency I fell under, I had no clue with Vishnu.  All I knew was that an Upholder he is not!  Turns out Vishnu’s an Obliger.

What benefit did I get from taking this quiz and making my husband take it too?

Well for one, it made me feel better about my semi-neurotic ways.  Upholders, by definition, respond to both inner and outer rules and expectations.  This is why I live by my to do lists, am motivated by execution and getting things done, and feel horrible when I make mistakes or fail to follow through.  Even when it’s MY own expectation or rule.  My Upholder tendency is why setting goals (and blogging about them) works so well for me.  Also (this isn’t a good thing), I personally think being an Upholder blindly leads me to hold everyone else up to the same standards, which is why it was so great that Vishnu took the quiz!

Vishnu’s an Obliger, which means that he responds to outer rules and expectations but not inner ones.  He thinks more in terms of the things he must get done and is motivated by accountability and not letting other people down.  The quiz results plus the Happier podcast episode that talks more about Obligers really helped me understand Vishnu in a way that I hadn’t been able to up to this point.  In the podcast, Elizabeth, Grechen’s sister, said that her husband who is also an Obliger doesn’t seem to think of her as an outsider or someone he can’t let down.  This means she’s not a source of motivation for him because she’s “too close.”  Her expectations for him are not part of the outer world…they feel like they’re coming from the inside.  I kid you not, when I heard her say this, I almost fell over.  This is 110% Vishnu!  And up until that point, it would leave me feeling so frustrated.   But now I get that the best thing I can do to help him achieve goals or meet inner expectations is help him figure out a system of outer accountability that doesn’t include me!

Side note: all of this will make sense after you take the quiz and listen to the podcast.  It’s really fascinating and worth the time if you ask me!

Gretchen Rubin Four Tendencies Quiz

Anyways, I tell you all this because I think this is one online quiz everyone should take before setting new goals/habits/resolutions in 2016.  It’ll help you understand how you handle both inner and outer expectations.  This is crucial when sticking to new habits or achieving goals.  For example, an Upholder like me will do whatever her to do list tells her to do because I have to meet the expectations I set for myself.  However, an Obliger like Vishnu is more likely to stay accountable if the expectations come from someone else (other than me!) and not a list he created.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for these kinds of things, but this quiz really made sense to me.  I mean, it wasn’t life changing, but it did help me understand my husband (and myself) a little bit better.  And that’s a HUGE win!

If you love this kind of stuff as much as I do, I highly recommend you check out Gretchen Rubin’s books – The Happiness Project (read this a few years ago) and Better Than Before (this one is on my list).

Have you taken this quiz before?  If so, what tendency are you?  If you take this quiz as a result of my post, come back and tell me what tendency you are!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, there are Amazon affiliate links included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

Written on December 9, 2015 Related:Life, Marriage, Self, Uncategorized

Ringing in 2014 + NOT setting resolutions

written by Parita 21 Comments

Happy New Year!  2014 is going to be a great year.  I’ve heard this several times over the past few days and really believe it as well!

Maybe I feel this way because of how we rang in 2014 – with good friends, good food, and lots of laughter.

Ringing in 2014 079

As I mentioned in my staycation post, our friends Roshni and Samir flew down to spend the last few days of 2013 with us.  Roshni and I met our freshman year of college at the University of Georgia and have been best friends ever since.  Vishnu and Samir also met in college (at Georgia Tech) and were friends before Rosh and I came into the picture.  That’s almost 12 years of friendship right there!  It’s so fun spending time with these two because we’ve known each other before we all started dating.  And in just a few short months, we’ll be celebrating at their wedding!  To say that we’re excited is an understatement.

When I asked Rosh and Samir what they wanted to do while in Miami, they said nothing too planned.  They wanted to relax, eat good food, and hang out.  That sounded like the perfect way to spend out time together, so that’s exactly what we did.

Ringing in 2014 080

Cupcake time was a must!

We kicked things up for NYE though and went to a lounge (thankfully within walking distance of our apartment).  Robin, Andy and a few other friends joined us as well.

Ringing in 2014 108

Ringing in 2014 109

Overall, it was a really fun night – spectacular views of Miami, a cabana all to ourselves, great music, amazing friends, and an after party that included Cards Against Humanity!

Adios 2013!

On to not setting resolutions…

*Gasp!*  Yes, you read that right.  No resolutions in 2014.  There are several reasons for my decision.  One, I’ve come to realize that as much time as I spend coming up with resolutions, they just don’t stick for me.  Two, I prefer smaller, more actionable goals.  And three, my grand vision is/has always been to be more present and take things day by day.  A huge resolution or two is not going to help me with that.

With that being said, I still have a short list of things that I want to do this year (the type A in me couldn’t resist!).

1. Read a book a month.
2. Meditate for 5-10 minutes every day.
3. Cook at least two Indian dinners every week.
4. Floss every single day – NO EXCUSES!
5. Drink (at least) 60 ounces of water daily.

Hopefully this short list sticks.  So far so good.  Ha!

Well, here’s to a memorable and fabulous 2014!  Make it a great year, people!

Written on January 3, 2014 Related:Friends, Self

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