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Three type of friends friendship quote

Making and Maintaining Friends as an Adult

written by Parita 24 Comments

I’m not going to sugarcoat it.  Making and maintaining friends as an adult is hard.  Very hard.

With that, I’m going to put it all out there and be a little vulnerable with today’s post.  I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately given that we have yet another big move on the horizon.

Let’s put childhood friendships on the back burner today and fast forward to our early to mid-twenties.  Personally, I found it fairly easy to make and maintain friends at this age.  A lot of this can be attributed to similar interests/life situations and constant contact with specific groups of people.  The odds of finding/being surrounded by good people were always in your favor.

Here’s my story.  Seven months after graduating college, I moved 50 miles south to the big city of Atlanta.  I lived with one of my best friends, lived near lots of other close friends, and met awesome people quite often.  We would go out to eat together, go out dancing together together, and generally, spend a lot of time together.  It was so simple.

Now that I’m in my 30s, I find that making friends is much harder.  Putting our moves aside, meeting people who share similar interests and who are in the same phase of life is a difficult task.  And to make things just a tad trickier, I’m also throwing a need for similar values on the table.

Maybe it’s just me, but everything feels like a balancing act right now – husband, work, family, personal time, and friends.  On top of that, with our time being so limited,  I want to ensure we are spending it with the “right” people (not saying this is the best approach but I look for that instant spark/connection when meeting people now!).  With every year that passes, I’m becoming pickier and pickier about who gets my time.

Jane Austen friendship quote

As I already mentioned, maintaining friendships in my early to mid-twenties was easier too.  Not only did I live near most of my friends, but my responsibilities at that time could be summed up in one short sentence – pay rent and bills on time.  Time just wasn’t an issue back then.

Nowadays, maintaining old friendship as well as new ones takes a lot of effort.  Specifically in the case of old friends, it’s hard because we now live all over the country. In some cases, the effort is well worth it (phone calls, texts, FaceTime, emails, visits), and in others…not so much! This piece of the puzzle brings me lot angst because in the past few years I’ve actually phase out some friendships that meant a lot to me at one point. The main reason for this is that I didn’t feel like the other person was putting in as much effort as I was.  Or in some cases, we both stopped putting in the effort and the relationship just fizzled out. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that not all friendships are built to last and that’s ok.

What I’m having an even harder time coming to terms with are the friendships that are put on hold because of uncontrollable life changes/events.  This one often brings me to tears, but I’m hoping that with time these people come back into my life…and soon.

Over the years, and more so recently, I’ve learned that just because you were very close to people in the past doesn’t mean you will stay or have to stay just as close in the future.  People change and so do friendships, and again, that’s normal…and ok.  Another hard lesson for me because I want to stay close with everyone.  On the flip side, I have a couple of close friends now who weren’t a huge part of my life in the past but now they’re very important to me!

Three type of friends friendship quote

And don’t get me wrong.  I still have lots of friends in my life that I’ve known for 10+ years.  I never feel disconnected from them regardless of how busy and crazy life gets.  With these select people, I always pick up where I left off.  Even if a whole year has passed.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Once in a lifetime kind of people friendship quote

I’m not quite sure I ended up where I wanted to with this post.  All I know is that at the end of my adult day, I want people in my life who get me – the real me.  The me who loves deep conversations.  The me who loves fancy meals out but would equally be as happy with take-out pizza.  The me who, above all else, loves shared laughter.

With that, have a wonderful Friday and an even better Saturday and Sunday!  And thanks for reading my rambles!  🙂

Written on April 22, 2016 Related:Friends, Life, Uncategorized

Red love sign stacked

14 of My Favorite Love Quotes Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

written by Parita 10 Comments

Valentine’s Day.  Not a big deal in the MIS household.  Vishnu’s philosophy has always been that we should show and celebrate our love all the time. More than that, he believes Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday aimed to sucker people into spending $$$.

When we first started dating all those years ago, I was a little offended that he didn’t want to celebrate with me.  But when he explained his reasoning, I was on board…albeit a little hesitantly at first!

So while we won’t be celebrating with a fancy dinner out or flowers and chocolates, I can’t help but share my favorite love quotes with you all today. I’m still very much a romantic at heart and always will be!

Enjoy and happy love day/weekend, y’all!

Red love sign stacked
1. “The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.” – Jacques Benigne Bossuel

2. “Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.” – Unknown

3. “The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
–      Rumi

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

5. “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” – Rose Franken

6. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss

7. “As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

8. “Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
“You owe me.”
Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.
–     Hafiz

9. “I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” – A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

10. “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.”     – A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

11. “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

12. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” – Robert Browning

13. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” – A.A. Milne

14. “If you love something, love it completely, cherish it, say it, but most importantly, show it. Life is finite and fragile, and just because something is there one day, it might not be the next. Never take that for granted. Say what you need to say, then say a little more. Say too much. Show too much. Love too much. Everything is temporary but love. Love outlives us all.” – R.Queen

 

Written on February 12, 2016 Related:Quotes, Uncategorized

I’m An Inspirational Message Junkie

written by Parita 4 Comments

Happpppy Friday!

People who know me in real life or even those who read my blog know that I am an inspirational message junkie.  I. Can’t. Get. Enough.  Email subscriptions, apps, books, calendars – you name it, I have it.

Recently, I’ve come across a few messages that were extra special for one reason or another.  Some came with just the right message at just the right time.  Some were directly related to recent conversations with friends.  And some were simply beautiful on their own.

And instead of keeping these pieces of inspiration to myself, I thought I would share.  Put another way – I’m an inspirational message junkie that loves to share what she finds with anyone who will listen!

Notes from the Universe

Everything in your life, right now, Parita, is awesome. Everything is in its right place, under grace, and whether or not this makes perfect sense yet, one day it will. And the time swiftly approaches when you’ll be exceedingly grateful for all that has brought you to this day and contributed to who you’ve become, because it is exactly that person who is now poised to live as you have always dreamed you would one day live.

Happy Friday,
The Universe

I believe I got this from the Purpose Fairy Facebook page.

marriage box
The Language of Letting Go (a paid app that shares daily messages/lessons)

We don’t have to question every occurrence to see how it fits into the plan.  The plan – the awareness, the insight, the potential for personal growth – will reveal itself to us.  Perhaps the lesson is to learn to solve our problems without always knowing their significance.  Perhaps the lesson is to trust ourselves to live and experience life.

Goodreads quotes of the day

Everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix, but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that’s a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect. Rob Reiner

I know of a cure for everything: salt water…in one way or the other. Sweat, or tears, or the salt sea.
Karen Blixen

What’s a great inspirational message you’ve heard/read lately?

Written on April 25, 2014 Related:Inspirational, Life, Quotes

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