TTC (trying to conceive) is not always easy process.  Fun but not easy!  Of course, every couple is different, but in the time we tried, I learned a big lesson…

When TTC, do not Google the strange symptoms you may or may not be experiencing.  Trust me, until you have a positive test result in hand, Google is not your friend.  And even then…it’s questionable.  In fact, it’s a stress inducer!

Now, before you dismiss me, hear me out.  You can pretty much type anything in the search bar and find someone somewhere who’s experienced whatever it is that your feeling.

For example, I couldn’t sleep through the night for the life of me (for about a week), so of course, I Googled “sleeplessness + early pregnancy” and found hundreds of women who also experienced the same thing and ended up being pregnant.  Me?  Not so much.

Oh there are other examples where that came from.  I had a cold in the middle of the summer, which I thought was super strange, so I Googled “cold + early pregnancy.”  Yep.  You guessed it.  I found at least three pregnancy threads where women experienced the same thing and ended up pregnant. Me?  Not so much.

You guys.  I had light cramps (not around that time of month), so I Googled “light cramps + early pregnancy.”  I don’t know why I bothered because of course pregnant women experience cramps.  Ay!

There are probably a few more examples I’m conveniently forgetting right now.

The irony is that when I was actually pregnant, I didn’t Google a thing.  Something just felt different, so I took a test.  And that’s how I learned our happy news.

Bottom line: Google is great for a lot of things, but when you’re TTC, it can potentially cause more confusion and heartbreak than good.  Take my word for it.  I’ve been there and done that multiple times.  In my personal experience, no matter what your pregnancy journey looks like, stress inducers should be avoided whenever possible.  Google being one of them.

When Vishnu read my 17 week pregnancy update, he immediately said that I didn’t fully explain one of my major pregnancy symptoms…my [crazy] emotions.

Let me start by saying that an emotional Par is not unusual.  I’m a wear-my-emotions-on-my-sleeve kind of person.  However, pregnancy has turned me into someone who can go from laughing and joking around to sobbing and irrational in literally two minutes.

Not being one not to hide anything from y’all, I’m going to share my pregnancy crazy today.

STORY 1: My very first pregnancy outburst came one night after watching This Is Us.  For those of you who watch the show, you know it can be a little heavy.  That must have been that case night because [literally] as soon as the show finished, I crawled into Vishnu’s lap and started bawling. HUGE tears flowing from my eyes.  In between sobs, I told Vishnu how much I loved him…over and over again.  Needless to say, he was confused as to what was happening and why.  If I remember correctly, this episode was most likely after I became pregnant but before we knew.  Makes so much sense now!

STORY 2: Sob fest #2 happened one night after Vishnu and I finished washing the dishes.  We were joking around the whole time, laughing about something or another.  As soon as I was done wiping everything down, I turned to Vishnu and said, “Can I talk to you about something?”  He looked at me with a concerned face.  And I fell into his arms sobbing yet again.  This time it was about pregnancy weight gain and how I didn’t feel beautiful anymore (a topic that deserves it’s own blog post).  Because this came out of nowhere, Vishnu was a little startled.  Poor guy tried his best to reassure me and make me feel better.  It took some time, but I eventually calmed down.

STORY 3: My next tear fest happened in Hawaii.  I purposely packed my loosest pre-pregnancy shorts for the trip.  So imagine my surprise when I pulled my shorts on one day and they were super tight.  Uncomfortably tight.  At that very moment, Vishnu walked into the room.  I looked at him and started crying and rambling about my weight gain and how pretty soon I would be huge.  This wasn’t his first rodeo, so Vishnu was a bit more prepared this time around.  He talked me through my tears and yet again reassured me that my weight gain was normal and necessary, etc.  And yet again, it took me a little bit of time, but I calmed down and truly enjoyed the rest of our trip…tight shorts and all!

STORY 4: My fourth and final story happened recently.  After coming home from work and chatting with Vishnu for a few minutes, I made my way to the kitchen to cook dinner.  Not even two minutes into the the process, I hit my hand on the microwave door.  Then a few minutes later, I spilled rice all over the floor.  Then a few minutes later I spilled a pan of water on the floor.  And then the final straw…I hit my foot on the stove.  That’s when I dramatically sat down in the middle of our kitchen and started crying.  Vishnu, hearing my drama, came over and asked me what happened.  I told him everything and ended with “I SUCK AT LIFE!!!”  Thankfully, my husband knows how to lighten the mood.  He helped me up and started laughing.  I took one look at him and did the same.  And just like that, the episode was over!

The moral of all these stories?  Make sure you have a supportive spouse/significant other who loves your crazy (even when it’s amplified because of pregnancy hormones) and knows exactly how to hit pause…until the next time of course!

You guys!  THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the loving comments, emails, texts, etc.  It means the world to both me and Vishnu and makes us just that much more excited to see everyone else’s excitement!  Here’s to the next chapter – parenthood!

To be completely honest, I don’t know how to share my journey thus far, so I’m just going to type and see where it takes me.  Hopefully this post makes sense!

How we found out I was pregnant – I took a pregnancy test one night before bed but ended up throwing it away immediately because it was a bit early in the whole process, and I felt silly for even checking.  I also didn’t want to see a negative test result and feel sad because my best friend Roshni and her husband Samir were coming to visit us that weekend.  When I woke up the next morning, a voice in my head told me to pull the test out of the trash and take a look.  So I did.  Annnnd…it was positive!  I couldn’t believe it.  I woke Vishnu up and made him take a look to confirm I wasn’t crazy. He said he saw a second line but that he preferred I tested again in 48 hours before getting too excited.  So I did just that.  And it was still positive (and darker).  I then proceeded to take two more tests on Sunday and three more on Monday (I even ran to the grocery store during my lunch break to buy a different kind of test to make sure we weren’t seeing false positives!).  I then called my doctor’s office to ask about next steps.  I went in for some blood work that Thursday, and they confirmed the pregnancy the next day!

Family reactions – As you can imagine, our families are over the moon!  This is the first grandchild on both sides, so excited doesn’t begin to describe it.  My mom already has her own special nickname for the baby, and Vishnu’s mom bought the baby jewelry when she went to India.  Our dads are a little less expressive but just as excited!  This kid is going to be SO loved!  Our siblings are also really excited.  My sister is ready to be the best aunt and pediatrician ever (so thankful to have her so close!), and Vishnu’s brother is already planning on setting up personal tennis and soccer lessons for our little nugget!

How the baby is doing – I may be a tad bit biased, but our baby is a little cutie.  We’ve had three ultrasounds done so far, and it’s incredible to see how quickly he/she is growing!  At our 10 week ultrasound, I was convinced we had a baby genius on our hands.  When the ultrasound tech commented on how active our baby is, I looked at Vishnu and said, “Our baby is so special and smart!!”  He asked why and I said because it’s moving so much. The tech started laughing and said most babies move a lot at this stage.  Whatever!  My baby’s the smartest! 🙂  He/she also has a strong/fast little heartbeat.  Seeing and hearing it for the first time (ok fine, every time) brought on the waterworks!

How I’m doing – For some reason, I really thought I would have a horrible first trimester.  Thankfully, it’s been the opposite of that.  I haven’t experienced any morning sickness, food aversions, food cravings, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy, but I’m very aware of how good I had/have it.  Beyond thankful this has been the case so far!  My issues are more so related to sleep.  In the beginning, I would wake up soaking wet and sweaty, unable to fall back asleep for hours.  Then I had trouble falling asleep (it would take an hour + even if I was exhausted).  Now, it’s about comfort – it’s so hard to get comfortable.  I wake up every time I switch from one side to the other.  Oh well!  It’s a very small price to pay!  Also, this is probably just prepping me for the sleepless nights to come. 🙂

Other than the above, I’ve experienced a little bit (or a lot…if you ask Vishnu) of moodiness.  In the first trimester, I would go from laughing and joking around to a full blown tear fest in a matter of minutes.  My now favorite story is how I crawled into Vishnu’s lap after an episode of This Is Us and started uncontrollably sobbing because…I felt so much love for him.  Needless to say, he was super confused!  Thankfully, I have a husband who usually sees the humor in all of this and can calm me down pretty easily!

How Vishnu’s doing – In the beginning, Vishnu played the role of doctor versus husband/soon-to-be dad.  He approached the whole thing with cautious optimism.  At first, it annoyed the crap out of me, but then I realized his attitude was based on what he’s seen and experienced in his job. Sadly, not everyone experiences a happy ending.

Now that we’re in the second trimester, he’s a lot more excited and taking on the dad role with no reservations.  I also think it was harder for him to be excited because I looked the same for so long, but now that I’m growing and the baby actually looks like a baby in the ultrasounds, it’s all way more real.

One of the things I’m really looking forward to is seeing Vishnu as a dad.  I absolutely know he’s going to knock this job out of the park!

How far along I am – 17 weeks yesterday!

Due date – July 12th

Are we going to find out the sex of the baby – YES and very soon!

Changes to MIS – MIS is not changing!  I do plan to share our journey in this space, but in no way do I intend to turn this into a baby/mommy blog. It’s just one more thing to write about!  With that being said, I apologize for the number of pregnancy related posts that may pop up over the next month or two.  I’m playing catch-up!

I think this covers the basics of what’s been going on over the past 17 ish weeks.  Like I said, I have so much I want to share, so be on the lookout for more of Par’s pregnancy adventures, lessons learned, etc.!

Happy Friday eve, my friends!  And thank you again for all the baby love!!!