pregnancy Archives - My Inner Shakti

C-Section Questions

After sharing about my recent c-section on Instagram, I received several questions about my two very specific things, so I thought I would share my responses here.

How’s your recovery the second time around?

My recovery with Mila was similar in some ways to my c-section with Kaiden. I had a harder time while at the hospital (pain, difficulty walking/getting out of bed, etc.) than at home. Given this was a planned c-section, I think in some ways my recovery was probably better this time around (but who knows because I can hardly remember how I felt over four years ago!). But I definitely had more of an idea of what to expect.

The nurses at the hospital told me to take it easy with climbing stairs and being too mobile, bu I was able to move around without too much pain or discomfort quite easily. I did take Ibuprofen every six hours for the first week or so, and then after that it’s been on an as needed basis.

I will say this though. Please don’t take my experience as gospel. Every woman, every body, etc. is different. Some may need more time to recover while some may get right back to it immediately. A lot can determine which side you fall on – complications during c-section, the amount of support/help you have, the layout of your house…I mean, the list is endless. Take it one day at a time and know that you’ll be back to feeling more like yourself before you know it!

Why not try for a VBAC the second time around?

*VBAC = vaginal birth after cesarean

Vishnu and I discussed both options at length. We went back and forth on whether I could try for a VBAC, knowing full well that I may end up having a c-section after all. For us, it came down to the fact that Kaiden’s delivery was a bit traumatic, and we really wanted to have some degree of control with this pregnancy. In addition to the chorioamnionitis, I also ended up with gestational diabetes with this pregnancy, and to top it all off, I’m considered advanced maternal age. All those factors combined led us to believe a planned c-section was for us.

I have a lot of friends who had a VBAC, and they ended up doing just fine. At the end of the day, you have to make the decision that you’re most comfortable with.

In our case, going the c-section route ended up being the best because my OB surgeon mentioned how parts of my uterus are thinner than others, and that a vaginal birth may have been more complicated at the end of the day. Things have a way of working out I suppose!

At the end of the day, remember that this is YOUR pregnancy, YOUR delivery, and YOUR child. Every decision you make should feel good/right to YOU!

PSA: Don’t Ask a Woman When She’s Planning to Have Kids

written by Parita 2 Comments

*The only caveat to my PSA (public service announcement) is when someone confides in you about her plans, struggles, etc. If and only then should you check in.

I am no stranger to the question, “When are you and Vishnu planning to have a baby?” I am now also no longer a stranger to the question, “When are you planning to have baby #2?”

I mean, really? Look, I know these questioners are generally well-meaning. These days, baby comments/questions ‘seem’ as normal as ones about the weather. And in one respect, it ‘seems’ like people are more comfortable than ever sharing personal tidbits of information via social media. However, that still doesn’t make it acceptable to ask a woman who looks to be in her child-bearing years when she’s planning to have kids. Just bite your tongue and know that if/when she becomes pregnant, you will definitely know.

Vishnu and I consider ourselves very lucky. I was 32 when I got pregnant with Kaiden but that was by choice. We didn’t have any real issues conceiving. So yes, while the questions are annoying and invasive and insensitive, they don’t bother me that much.

That’s not the case for everyone. Please know that your question about when someone’s planning to have kids could trigger a number of emotions, thoughts, etc.

You don’t know how long this person’s been trying to get pregnant. It doesn’t come easy to most.

You don’t know if this person is currently undergoing medical treatments in order to get pregnant.

You don’t know if this person has miscarried and how many times. You can’t see the pain a woman carries in her heart.

You don’t know if this person has been told that she will never be able to carry a child to term. Again, this isn’t something you can see/read on someone’s face.

And just because someone had a ‘seemingly’ easy time getting pregnant with baby #1, you don’t know the story with subsequent babies (see above). It’s never appropriate to ask.

Then there’s the other side of the coin. Just because a woman can get pregnant doesn’t mean she should. Believe it or not, there are people who don’t want children. And that is absolutely ok. Again I repeat, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should/want to.

But most importantly, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, it really just isn’t any of your business when someone is planning to have kids. Or if they’re planning to have kids. So don’t ask. You’ll know when you know.

Kaiden’s Birth Story

written by Parita 14 Comments

The name Kaiden randomly came to me one day. I ran it past Vishnu, and surprisingly, he liked it a lot too. Then we got into the discussion of how to spell it. Obviously, we ultimately decided on the K and I version of the name. Next came the question of what exactly does Kaiden mean (our parents were very curious!). Well, after checking multiple sites, we learned that Kaiden means ‘warrior’ and ‘fighter.’ Little did we know how fitting our little man’s name would be come time for him to make his grand entrance into the world!

Kaiden’s birth story starts two days before I actually delivered. On Tuesday morning, I walked to my OBGYN’s office for my 38 week appointment. I was told that everything looked good and that I was only a fingertip dilated. With that, I walked to work thinking I had a couple of more weeks until it was go time.

I had a very normal day at work and even joined my colleagues for dinner that night.

When I got home from dinner, I told Vishnu I was exhausted and headed to bed. Five minutes later, I had the chills…like my whole body shook and my teeth chattered. I put on sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and socks and was still shaking. Vishnu checked my temperature…no fever. We chalked it up to exhaustion, and I tried my best to fall asleep. Fifteen minutes later I felt a dull ache in my pelvis area that continued throughout the night. Vishnu called my doctor at about 1 am and asked if we should go to the hospital. She said to call back in an hour if I felt worse. Well, an hour later, I was asleep and “okay.”

The next morning I woke up and decided to work from home because I was experiencing some light contractions every 10-20 minutes. I called the doctor’s office, and they told me to call back when the contractions were closer together. I told Vishnu to go to work and that I would call him if things changed. He looked at me before he left and said, “Today could be the day, Par!”

After checking emails and tying up a few loose ends, I laid down because the chills were back. I checked my temperature, and it was 100.8. I called the doctor back, left a message and immediately texted Vishnu. He told me he was on his way home in case we were told to head to the hospital. I also talked to my sister who was able to leave work early and come over in case Vishnu didn’t make it on time. I checked my temperature again and it came back as 102.5. I checked one more time right before Aekta and Vishnu got home and it was 103.1. The doctor’s office called back, I told them everything that happened since the last time we talked. Needless to say, I was given the ok to head to the hospital.

Vishnu, Aekta, and I quickly headed out the door around 2:15 pm with my hospital bag in tow. For some reason, I honestly thought this was all a false alarm and that we would be back home in a few hours.

We checked into the hospital, and Vishnu and I were immediately taken to a triage room where a nurse examined me. I was only 1-1.5 centimeters dilated at the time, however my fever was now registering at 103.8, and Kaiden’s heart rate was nearing the 200s. An OBGYN resident came to do an ultrasound of the baby and told us that my amniotic sac was nearly drained of all it’s fluid. He asked if I ever felt my water break or experienced anything remotely like that. The answer was no. He went on to tell us that the likely cause of my fever was an infection of the amniotic sac/fluid potentially caused by a small rupture that slowly allowed my water to leak out…or vice versa. Chorioamnionitis was what I was diagnosed with. A term I’ll never forget.

Once the team of doctors agreed on the diagnosis, everything moved sort of fast (at least for me). At this time, my contractions were coming in stronger and more regularly. I sat in the triage bed with Vishnu by my side screaming in pain and begging for the epidural.

Eventually, we moved upstairs to labor and delivery where I thought I would be delivering Kaiden.

At this time, the anesthesiologist’s assistant came in to administer the epidural, as my contractions were coming more frequently. As she was setting everything up, my nurse mentioned my fever, which triggered a no go on the epidural front, as I hadn’t been given antibiotics yet. I had to wait another 1.5-2 hours. During this time, the baby’s heart rate periodically decelerated based on how I was positioned. The nurse came by every so often to shift my body and give me oxygen. Eventually, the epidural was administered. This helped tremendously with the pain.

To make an already long story short, the OBGYN came to talk to us about our options around 11:45 pm. We could either wait to deliver the baby vaginally, or we could opt for a c-section. Her preference was a c-section, as I was still only 2 centimeters dilated. This meant I would likely be in labor for hours longer, and we would potentially still have to go the c-section route. The doctor was also worried about the stress a vaginal delivery would place on the baby. Her main goal was to get Kaiden out safely before my condition worsened.

At this point, I looked to Vishnu to make an informed decision. This was also exactly when my mom arrived (she changed her flight earlier that morning, as did Vishnu’s parents who arrived Friday afternoon). We talked it over and decided to go the c-section route because of the infection, the baby’s decelerating heart rate, and the overall risk of a vaginal delivery.

Within 15 minutes, we were headed to the OR. And within another 30 minutes, Kaiden made his healthy grand entrance. If there’s one thing I will be grateful for for the rest of my life, it’s the fact that he was born 100% unaffected by the infection and everything else that went on. He didn’t let me know it at the time, but Vishnu later told me he was really scared for the baby. So much could’ve gone wrong, and I thank God it didn’t.

After taking him out, Kaiden was taken to another room for his examination. Soon thereafter, Vishnu was allowed to see him. He came back and told me how cute our baby was. 🙂 A few minutes later, the nurses brought him back for me to hold.

I can’t adequately explain how I felt in that moment. It really is a love unlike any other! Vishnu and I, through our love, created a little human…our little human. I’ve never felt such pure joy in my life…honestly, I felt like I was on top of the world.

Over the course of the next four nights, both Kaiden and I were monitored closely, given antibiotics, etc.. Other than my fever spiking once more, we didn’t experience any other health concerns from the delivery. So thankful for the care and attention we received. The doctors, residents, and nurses at the hospital treated us like family, and that’s something we’ll never forget.

Overall, I’m grateful Kaiden was/is ok and remained healthy throughout everything that happened. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked things went down the way they did. My pregnancy couldn’t have been smoother (with a few expected and normal bumps along the way). I worked out consistently, I ate healthily 90% of the time, and I truly felt great. So to learn I had an infection and would have to undergo a c-section was out of left field for me. But with the grace of God and positive thoughts, we got through it unscathed! And who knows, maybe Kaiden had the strength to fight because I tried to take the best care of myself over the past nine months.

We’re now at home adjusting to our new and very full life. Kaiden is doing so well, and I’m recovering faster than expected. Vishnu and my mom are honestly my rocks right now. Vishnu, despite going back to work, wakes up for the middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, etc. He’s our expert swaddler and burper! Seeing him be a dad is truly amazing. I didn’t think it was possible, but my love for him grew exponentially overnight. And my mom is simply the best. Not only does she cook and clean (all day long), but she also spends every other minute of the day loving on Kaiden and taking care of me.

And that, my friends, is Mr. Kaiden’s birth story. Not exactly what I expected to experience but beyond thankful that our little guy is a-ok!

The title of this post is colored with sarcasm. While the third trimester is a special one (the light is dimly visible!), it’s much harder than I personally thought it would be (especially from around 32 weeks onward)!

Of course, every woman and pregnancy is different, but if I had to sum up the past few weeks in one word, it would be uncomfortable. However, before we go down that road, let me share some of the highlights.

Third trimester highlights

With every passing day, we’re closer to meeting our little guy. It’s probably the hormones, but I literally tear up every time I think about holding/seeing him for the first time!
Over the past few weeks, Baby K has gone from kicking/punching to rolling around. At first, it felt a little strange, but now I look forward to experiencing his new moves. It’s one of the coolest feelings ever. I still can’t believe there’s a little human growing inside of me!
Organizing all of the baby stuff we bought/were gifted was a lot of fun. We’re a little behind on the nursery front, but we figure our little guy won’t be too mad about that! We’ll get to it sooner than later.

Annnd…that’s pretty much it. Ha!

Third trimester uncomfortableness

Quality sleep is pretty much nonexistent. On any given night, I wake up to use the bathroom four to seven times. Or I wake up and stare at the ceiling unable to go back to sleep. Or the baby decides he wants to beat around like a drum, so his movement wakes me up. Fun times! Because of this, naps, especially weekend naps, are a very real thing. For example, I took three three hour naps over the course of this past weekend. While this should be a highlight, every long nap leaves me feeling a tad bit guilty. There’s still so much to do!
Third trimester hunger is a beast. Over the past few weeks, I can’t seem to eat enough. BUT, most foods give me heartburn. It’s very much a double edged sword!
Calf cramps creep up on me a couple times a week. And boy are they painful! My biggest fear to date was experiencing a calf cramp when Vishnu wasn’t home. And guess what? It happened this past Friday night when he was working an overnight shift. I remembered some of the tips he shared and all ended up ok, but it hurt so bad!
Swollen legs, ankles, and feet are the norm around here. Elevating my feet, drinking lots of water, and wearing compression socks helps, but on some days it’s just unavoidable and scary looking!
Lower back pain now occurs more during the day versus solely at night. Standing for too long or sitting the wrong way will almost always bring on uncomfortable pangs of pain.
Bending over for any reason whatsoever is an Olympic feat in and of itself and requires a ton of effort. Putting on anything other than slip on shoes…forget about it! I actually freaked out about hurting the baby from bending over. But after Googling and reading multiple sources, I learned you can’t hurt the baby from tying your shoes or picking something up off the floor. Phew!
My memory is shot. You guys, I couldn’t remember my OBGYN’s name for the life of me the other day. Unless I write it down, there are no guarantees.
My regular exercise routine has officially been interrupted. I went from five heart pumping workouts a week to lots of walking, some weights, and maybe a couple of prenatal workouts (BodyFit by Amy of course!). On days where a scheduled workout just isn’t doable, I try to walk to and from work (~2.4 miles total). As it’s always been, staying active is my ultimate goal!
I’m a little all over the place emotionally. Just ask Vishnu! Literally anything can set me off. I mean, I teared up at the national anthem during the NBA finals. I also don’t feel ready, even though I know anything we do from now until the delivery is a bonus. My mama friends tell me I’ll never truly feel ready, and while it helps to hear that, I often get emotional because I’m overwhelmed. Unlike anything else I/we have taken on thus far, this is one life change we can’t 100% anticipate or plan for. Super exciting and nerve-racking at the same time! The one thought that always helps is thinking about how people have been at this whole parenting thing for thousands of years. Can’t be that hard, right?! Humor me!

Obviously, I’ve painted a grim picture. My excitement about being pregnant and meeting our little guy far exceeds any of the above. In fact, I’d go through it all again if I had to! But that doesn’t equal rainbows and unicorns. Almost every pregnant woman will tell you the last few weeks feel like years! And it’s so true because you’re uncomfortable in most every way possible. A very small price to pay though! And if I’m being honest, my overall pregnancy symptoms have been fairly mild compared to some.

But for the sake of keeping it real, you have this post with all of my third trimester thoughts and experiences (so far…#36weeks!). You’re welcome!