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Reframing Your Strengths and Weaknesses

written by Parita Leave a Comment

“What are some of your weaknesses?” –> I hated this question during job interviews because you really had to make sure you picked things that didn’t scare your potential employer away while still sounding genuine, etc.

If I were being honest, I would’ve spouted off quite a few things and remained jobless. Ha!

I started thinking about strengths and weaknesses again after a convo with my mom. I then listened to a Simon Sinek podcast episode where we reframes strengths and weaknesses. I wanted to share all of this, especially as we approach the new year and want to change everything! Also, I have a much better answer to that silly interview question.

It all started when m y mom told me that she and my aunt were talking earlier about my sister and how chill and calm she is. How she just moves at her own speed and nothing can really speed her up. They were totally complimentary about this and even said that we should all be this way.

If I’m being 100% honest, I first took this to mean that my mom was telling me I’m not this way and need to change. She NEVER once said that so totally a me thing, but it left me feeling less than.

An hour or so later, I listened to Simon Sinek’s podcast and immediately felt better. In it, he talks about how (and I’m paraphrasing) the terminology of strengths and weaknesses needs to go. It’s really all about context.

For example, 85% of the time being more like my sister – calm and chill – is the way to go. She’s so meticulous and rarely makes careless errors. Her laidback personality also makes her really easy and fun to be around. BUT…if you are in a time crunch, she may not be the best person to call on. She also takes forever to make decisions and gets sidetracked a lot. It makes me laugh to this day, but I’ll never forget when she was over for dinner with my BIL. I was making paninis and she asked me how she can help. I told he to cut the chicken so I can start making the sandwiches. Two minutes later, I see her in the living room chatting with Vishnu and my BIL. She totally got distracted, and I ended up prepping the chicken!

Now, on the other hand, I’m a very time oriented person who is mission driven. I have a hard time being slow and sort of carefree. I value productivity over most things. This makes me THE person you want when you need to stay focused on a task. I can also make quick decisions. There’s a reason I was in project management for over 10 years! But of course, my strengths don’t work in so many contexts. I’m not always fun to be around, and sometimes I miss the human element because I’m so focused on getting things done.

So while you could totally characterize these traits of ours as strengths or weaknesses, it’s all dependent on the context or situation.

This is important to remember from a personal development perspective because so often we’re trying to change our perceived weaknesses into strengths without realizing that in some contexts they may already be.

So yes, while I will always strive to be a bit more like my sister, I also recognize that some of my attributes and characteristics have served me well and will continue to.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!

And now to answer that interview question a little differently. You could say something like, “I don’t believe in strengths or weaknesses because a perceived strength in some contexts is a weakness in others and vice versa. And here’s an example of that…”

Written on December 28, 2022 Related:Self

The Magic of a Pause

written by Parita 1 Comment

Happy Wednesday, y’all! I hope you’re having a good week so far. My week has been pretty standard. Work is fairly busy and home life is well…fun and chaotic as ever! Never a boring day with a toddler around!

I wanted to share a lesson I relearned again this week. After sharing on IG via a story, I thought it was too important not to share here.

You’ve heard me share (and likely have seen elsewhere) that…

Event + Reaction = Outcome

I want to revise this and add a few elements…

Event + Pause + Reaction + Pause + Action = Outcome

First of all, the pause is so critical. This may likely be a three second pause, but nonetheless it’s key to evaluating how you want to act and how you want to take action. Without a pause, you may have a knee jerk reaction which may lead to an action that harms more than it helps.

The pause is starting to come more naturally to me because I talked to my peer coach about this for 12 weeks. We discussed different situations and strategies that I then tried out on a weekly basis. This has been a gamechanger for me because now I can actually separate myself from the event and really think through my reaction and action.

Next, I added action to this equation. While your reaction may as well be your action, I see them as two separate things. For me, my reaction is my emotional response. My action is what I do given the event + my reaction. Thinking of it this way shows me how much power lies in my reaction (my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings).

The less I learned this week had to do with an email I was expecting. I hadn’t heard back from someone after sending two emails, and my mind went to the worst case scenario.

My initial thought was to send a 3rd stern email, but instead of doing that, I thought about what else I could do. That pause gave me the idea to call a good friend who I could talk this out with. After that conversation, I decided to wait until Friday to respond. Lo and behold, I got an email back less than 30 minutes later. The Universe was watching me!

Had I not taken that pause before acting, I would’ve likely pissed someone off and/or lost an important opportunity.

Now if only we could rewind and add a few pauses around past events! You live and you learn though, right?!

Written on February 10, 2021 Related:Self

Daily Habits to Build Personal and Professional Resilience

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Every now and then, new corporate buzz words will pop up.  Some are here to stay and actually have some substance, while others fade with time.

Personally, I think resilience is one of those concepts, and I definitely think it’s here to stay.  It’s not something that can just fade way, especially given the way we live our lives now.

I learned more about what resilience means in terms of personal and professional development during the conference I attended in London back in October.  One of the speakers for my team’s session was a resilience expert who talked to us about what it is, why it’s important, and how to create more of it on a daily basis. Since then, I’ve been keen to learn more.  From what I know, resilience is one of those things that is the result of mindful habits/living. 

Ok, first thing’s first.  What is resilience?  Well according to Alexia Michiels (the speaker) in her book, The Resilience Drive, it’s the range of skills that enable us to bounce back when faced with adversity.  It helps us lead a successful and fulfilling life.  “Resilient people demonstrate rapid bounce, courage, and creativity; they cultivate healthy connections with themselves, others, and the environment.”

I read The Resilience Drive on the way to London just last week.  It’s not so much a true book as it is a pocket guide with over 100 ideas for how to cultivate resilience in our daily lives. 

There are five sections based on different areas of self and life.  And under each, there are ideas for how to be more resilient. 

So, being the nerd that I am, I took notes while reading this on the plane.  I wrote down the ideas under each of the five sections that I thought would work for me and/or things that I want to implement in 2020.

Stay calm and rejuvenate
1. Exhale – 4 seconds in and 6 seconds out
2. Close your eyes every now and then
3. Get in child’s pose a few times a day
4. Walk slower (been on my to-do list since I was like 1…ha!)
5. Disconnect from screens and limit screen time
6. Relax before bed (happy to note that I’m starting this in 2019…started meditating using the Head Space app!)

Stimulate your vitality
1. Stretch in the AM – right when you wake up
2. Adjust your posture throughout the day
3. Practice balancing exercises while doing everyday tasks/chores around the house (i.e. folding laundry)
4. Take real lunch breaks (without your laptop and/or phone)
5. Eat slowly
6. Create a sleep routine

Engage your emotions
1. Listen more actively
2. Think about and list out WWW (what went well) every day
3. Actively participate in discussions
4. Find and/or create quick wins for yourself every day

Train the mind
1. Set a daily/weekly intention
2. Schedule email breaks (only check email during specific times of the day)
3. Monotask
4. Keep things simple (stupid) – KISS!

Spirit in action
1. Do one random act of kindness a day
2. Be open to different opinions
3. Meditate (check!)

The book explains more about each of these daily resilience habits.  If you’re interested, send me an email or buy the Kindle version off Amazon.  It’s a great reference book to have, especially on those tough days where you feel anything but resilient!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

Written on December 12, 2019 Related:Book, review, Self

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