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S*** Show of a Morning

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Before anyone thinks Vishnu and I are operating in a calm, collected, ‘everything goes as we need/want’ household, let me set the record straight.

This morning was a great example of how things can go wrong very quickly.

Let’s review.

5:45 am – Vishnu and I wake up and start getting ready for our respective days.
6:15 am – I start prepping breakfast while Vishnu gets everything else together for him and K.
6:30 am – I wake Kaiden up (he usually sleeps until 7:15) because I have a call starting at 6:45. The plan is to have Vishnu drop K off at school by 7:30, so he can get to work by 8.
6:35 am – I tell K the plan and he’s fine with it.
6:40 am – Kaiden decides he wants eggs for breakfast, so I quickly scramble and cook two eggs. Kaiden gets upset because he wanted to scramble the eggs.
6:45 am – I head into our bedroom for my call. But not without a loud good-bye. Kaiden starts crying and screaming because he wants me to take my call after I drop him off at school. I have no choice but to lock myself in my room. Vishnu takes over.
6:45-7:45 am – I’m on my call with Kaiden at the door trying to break in, screaming, crying…the whole enchilada. I hear everything from “Don’t look at me” to “Move your body.” Oh boy!
8:00 am – Vishnu and K finally leave for school. Vishnu’s late for work. However, my call went well, so there’s that!

No one’s life is perfect and these types of situations happen. They used to stress me out, but I’ve realized the best way to get through them is to stay calm and flow. Kids are going to be kids (esp the stubborn ones!), and life has to go on…we have to go to work, be on calls, get things done, etc.

So the next time you’re dealing with something hard, just remember…it happens to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US and there’s at least a million of us experiencing it alongside you at any given point!

Written on June 8, 2021 Related:Life, motherhood, Parenthood

Raising Privileged Kids

written by Parita Leave a Comment

My organization runs a learning program for senior leaders that’s led by Harvard Business School. This year, I’m able to attend because our first module is virtual. Today was the first day of the four week program, and the session was about strategy and a few other things.

As I was listening, a lot of my core Finance and MBA knowledge was coming back to me, but my ears really perked up when the professor started talking about human capital, recruiting, and strategizing about the kind of people you want to work for you.

He told a story about a friend of friend whose daughter applied to a widely known and respected consulting firm. After her second interview, she was told she didn’t qualify. When she told her dad, he basically went on a mission to find out why she was rejected. He happened to be engaging with this firm in his own job, so he approached the lead partner and asked him if he had any insights into what happened with his daughter. Mind you, this is a huge organization. The partner couldn’t give specifics about his daughter, but he did offer to look at her resume. He also asked her dad what she did for fun, what her hobbies were, etc. After the dad rambled on and on about the prestigious private school she attended for college, the international traveller she was, etc., the partner stopped him and said I think I know what’s going on but let me take a look at her resume.

One glance at her resume, and he said this, “She has privilege written all over this and her. We’re looking for candidates that went to state schools, got good grades, and worked at the library at night to pay for tuition. And maybe they got a few scholarships along the way too. Kids who have grit and perseverance and know how to face a challenge in its face.”

This part of the session made me stop and think about how I grew up and how Kaiden is (and is going to) grow up. I was that firm’s ideal candidate. I went to a state school, I got good grades, and I worked at the student center my sophomore through my senior year. I even worked during business school for the Department of Organizational Effectiveness. Will Kaiden be? Hard to tell since he’s going to grow up with parents who are financially more secure, who grew up in this country, and have access to things that my parents didn’t.

I think about the concept of privilege a lot, especially as a mom. And I think it’s amazing to want and be able to give your kids more than what you had (our parents did it!), but where do we draw the line? I, for one, would not be opposed to Kaiden working in HS and college. Just because he has a 529 in his name doesn’t mean he can’t save some of his own money for the things he wants to do.

I also believe the concept of privilege is something that’s established well before college. It’s about the conversations you have with your kids, the things you buy them, the people you surround yourself with, etc. Vishnu and I are trying to raise a good human, who may be a little privileged, but hopefully one who understands that what he’s been given should be used for the greater good in some way.

Ay ay ay…parenting…the wheels never stop turning!

Written on May 26, 2021 Related:Life, Parenthood, Uncategorized

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