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Day in the Life – 3.5 weeks

written by Parita 1 Comment

We are 3.5 weeks into life with Ms. Mila, and things are…well, they’re still a little all over the place. We have no routine in place yet, but experience reassures me that we’ll get there in a few months. Until then, I’m just trying to enjoy the newborn phase – the cuddles, the cute random faces, etc.

That being said, I wanted to document a day in the life type post so I don’t forget the beautiful chaos of this time.

So here was how my day unfolded on November 11, 2021…

4:45 am – I wake up to feed Mila. Vishnu took the last two feeds, which was so sweet of him, but I told him not to do that because this meant I hadn’t pumped in like 7 hours. No bueno!

5:25-6:10 am – Power pumping session. Went too long between sessions. Got a lot of milk but don’t want to make this a habit.

6:30 am – Make and eat breakfast (protein shake) in peace – no kids/husband needing me. Just me, the dark, and some silence.

7:15-8:30 am – Kaiden wakes up, eats breakfast, and eventually, we’re out the door for school. While I’m handling K, Vishnu is feeding Mila and eventually puts her back down. Teamwork makes the dream work!

8:30-9:00 – I drop K off at school, make a pit stop at CVS, and also at Dunkin for some coffee per VIshnu’s request. He was super tired this morning.

9:20-9:50 – Time to pump again. Wish I could’ve gotten to this sooner, but ahh…that’s life! I had to start and stop a couple of times because Mila was a little unsettled and fussy. Finally got it done…that’s what matters, right?

9:50 am – 12:00 pm- Mila starts stirring. I go get her and bring her downstairs to eat. Apparently, she’s more interested in sleeping in my arms than eating! Yes, this went on for over two hours! I just let her sleep. Eventually, I put her down in her room…until the next feed that’s probably in 30 minutes. Haha!

12:00-12:20 pm – I heat up leftovers from when my mom was here earlier in the week and eat those quickly (you never know when you’re sleeping baby will wake up wailing!). So good and so thankful I had that food ready to go!

12:45 pm – Time to pump again. Praying Mila doesn’t wake up from her nap until I’m done!

Timing is a little hazy after this point, but here’s a quick rundown of what happened next…

  • Mila wakes up and I feed her.
  • My mom comes over – we give Mila a bath, I get to take shower…
  • I pump yet again.
  • My dad and I pick Kaiden up from school and take him to PT.
  • We eat dinner when we get home (mom made her famous green enchiladas!).
  • Vishnu eats and then gives K a bath, my mom feeds Mila, and I pump.
  • Kids are down, mom and dad go home, I pack K’s lunch, wash bottles, clean up in the kitchen, finish up this post…
  • …and then…you guessed it…I pump…

AND THE CYCLE REPEATS ITSELF!

Not an exciting day by any means, but one I want to remember for sure. I just read somewhere that ‘time is a thief…’ ain’t that the truth!

Happy Friday! Hope y’all have a great weekend.

Written on November 12, 2021 Related:Life, motherhood, Uncategorized

My Journey with Exclusive Pumping the Second Time Around

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Ok, so I have so much to say about this topic, but first and foremost, let me share how I got to exclusively pumping with Mila.

I had every intention of breastfeeding this time around, and for the first couple of days after she was born, it felt like we were going in the right direction. She fed beautifully on day 1 (and thankfully my colostrum was in full force) and even during the day on day 2. Things changed on night two with her cluster feeding more. She would latch and then unlatch. The unlatching would make her angry and she’d be inconsolable. At that point it was impossible to even get her back on the breast.

Vishnu and I called the nurse in to help us, and she really tried her best too. We just could not get M to latch and suck. That’s when Vishnu and I decided to try a bottle (the nurse actually encouraged us to do so as well).

Side note – with Kaiden, we had what felt like zero support from the nurses at the hospital. Instead of reading the situation (re: he couldn’t latch at all and I had no idea what I was doing), they would just push him on to me as if that was going to solve the problem. And then they encouraged SNS which is one of the most stressful feeding techniques ever. Vishnu and I vowed to not go down that path with Mila.

So yeah, we ended up giving her bottles that night as well as a pacifier. We figured her health and our sanity was worth.

For the next 2+ weeks, I continued to put her on the breast first when it came time to feed. Sometimes she’d stay on for a minute or two and sometimes she’d go full on frantic on us. Needless to say, M got used to the bottle pretty quickly.

I called a lactation consultant to come and help us, and she suggested a few things that were helpful but didn’t solve our issue of why M wouldn’t latch and stay latched.

The consultant did as me an important question though that ultimately helped me be ok with exclusive pumping. She asked, “Is your goal to get your baby latch or to feed her your breastmilk?” GAME CHANGING QUESTION!

My goal is to give Mila my milk for as long as I can, however I can. Sure, I really wanted to breastfeed this time around, and sure, it felt like we were on a good path for a bit there, but I’m truly not upset about being on the EP path again.

With Kaiden, I think I made the experience miserable for myself. This time I’m doing things a little differently…

  1. Invest in a good quality pump – I have the Spectra S2 which is a hospital grade pump that a lot of my friends used. Personally, I love the suctioning power as well as the fact that there are less parts to clean. A great option in my opinion!
  2. Invest in good quality pumping bras – WIth Kaiden, I had no idea what I was doing. In the chaos of his delivery and bringing him home, I didn’t even think to buy real pumping bras. Instead, I made my own. And while it was a great idea, if I do say so myself, it was very cheap and silly of me. This time around, I got these bras, and LOVE them. Perfect for the exclusive pumper and a breastfeeder/pumper.
  3. Length of pumping sessions – With Kaiden, I thought my pumping sessions had to be 30-45 minutes long to be the most effective. The lactation consultant I saw ensured me that 20-25 minutes was plenty if I’m also massaging my breasts while pumping. Hallelujah!
  4. Missed/shorter sessions – As a mom of two, I’m here to tell you your pumping schedule may not always go to plan. Mine hasn’t…not once! But I’m not going to stress about it. I’m going to do the best I can with the time and resources I have. And you should too!
  5. Power pumping – I was hoping I wouldn’t have to power pump this time around, but lo and behold, I’m still doing it! PP is a great thing to do when baby is going through a growth spurt – 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, etc. Basically, it looks like this – pump for 20, 10 minute break, pump for 10, 10 minute break, pump for 10. Yes, it’s an hour, but I try to do these sessions when the kiddos are asleep – late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. And I’ll admit that PP does help increase supply overall, so I guess it’s worth it!
  6. Water, oats, and fenugreek – These are the things I used last time to help with my supply and they’re doing their thing this time too. Also, I had a friend tell me extra protein helped her supply. Also, it’s important to put aside any weight loss goals at this time. You have to eat and eat regularly. Pumping burns about 20 calories an ounce so let’s say you pump an average of 30 ounces a day, that’s 600 calories you’re burning through. Think of it this way – your body needs fuel to make fuel.
  7. Pump time = YOU time! – I wasn’t very good about making the most of my pumping time with K. I would just sit there and think about how much it sucked that I had to pump while someone else got to feed my baby. This time around, I’m taking full advantage of all the 20 minute blocks of time I have. I’m reading, listening to podcast, connecting with Kaiden, calling friends and family members, blogging, etc. I wouldn’t exactly call it self-care, but this time around, I’m realizing my attitude about pumping is what will make or break it for me. And because I want to do this for at least six months, I need to have a good attitude.
  8. Mindset – Going along with the above, your mindset is everything. You’re not going to be pumping for the rest of your life or even for years to come. I basically tell myself to make it through the day…and rinse and repeat. No need to look months into the future and lament on how you have to pump so much. One day at a time…nothing lasts forever.
  9. Communication – For me, exclusive pumping wouldn’t work without Vishnu’s support. So my biggest suggestion here is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what you’ll need to make this a success for your family. Vishnu really wants Mila to have my breastmilk for as long as she can, so he’s fully on board to help me. He does the two middle of the night feedings so I can pump. And on weekends, he’s game to watch both kids so I can get my sessions in. This is really about teamwork!
  10. FED IS BEST – I have and always believe this. Breastfeeding, pumping, formula – ALL good options to feed a baby. If you have to pump and supplement at some point, do it! Formula is not the devil. Remember that the goal is to have a healthy baby…whatever that takes. With Kaiden, we transitioned to formula after six months of EP because my mental health was in question and I couldn’t do it anymore. And guess what…he’s THRIVING! A healthy baby is important but so is a healthy mama.  Do what is best or your family and ignore the noise!

If you are also pumping or debating on EP, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Happy to help in whatever way I can!

Also, if you want to read more about my journey with Kaiden, check out these posts – My breastfeeding and pumping journey and Exclusive Pumping – an Emotional Journey.

Written on November 9, 2021 Related:Baby, motherhood

S*** Show of a Morning

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Before anyone thinks Vishnu and I are operating in a calm, collected, ‘everything goes as we need/want’ household, let me set the record straight.

This morning was a great example of how things can go wrong very quickly.

Let’s review.

5:45 am – Vishnu and I wake up and start getting ready for our respective days.
6:15 am – I start prepping breakfast while Vishnu gets everything else together for him and K.
6:30 am – I wake Kaiden up (he usually sleeps until 7:15) because I have a call starting at 6:45. The plan is to have Vishnu drop K off at school by 7:30, so he can get to work by 8.
6:35 am – I tell K the plan and he’s fine with it.
6:40 am – Kaiden decides he wants eggs for breakfast, so I quickly scramble and cook two eggs. Kaiden gets upset because he wanted to scramble the eggs.
6:45 am – I head into our bedroom for my call. But not without a loud good-bye. Kaiden starts crying and screaming because he wants me to take my call after I drop him off at school. I have no choice but to lock myself in my room. Vishnu takes over.
6:45-7:45 am – I’m on my call with Kaiden at the door trying to break in, screaming, crying…the whole enchilada. I hear everything from “Don’t look at me” to “Move your body.” Oh boy!
8:00 am – Vishnu and K finally leave for school. Vishnu’s late for work. However, my call went well, so there’s that!

No one’s life is perfect and these types of situations happen. They used to stress me out, but I’ve realized the best way to get through them is to stay calm and flow. Kids are going to be kids (esp the stubborn ones!), and life has to go on…we have to go to work, be on calls, get things done, etc.

So the next time you’re dealing with something hard, just remember…it happens to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US and there’s at least a million of us experiencing it alongside you at any given point!

Written on June 8, 2021 Related:Life, motherhood, Parenthood

Day in the Life – July 14, 2020

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I thought I’d share a day in the life update today, as things look a little bit different around here than they did even a month ago. I used to share this kind of post more often back in the day, and I love going back and seeing what our days looked like at various points in our lives. Oh how things hav changed!

Let’s dive right in…

5:45a – I randomly woke up and looked at the clock to see that it’s 5:45. I forgot to set my alarm! I usually wake up at 5:30. Gah!

6:00a – I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, and changed out of my PJs before settling down at my desk to check emails and do a little bit of work.

6:30a – I heard Kaiden saying, “Mama, mama, I need to go poo poo,” so I ran to his room and to take him to the potty. He’s usually not up until 7:00, so this is a fun surprise! However, I’m still so thankful he wakes up and tells us he has to go versus going in his pull-up.

6:45a-7:50a – I attempted to continue working but not very successfully. I also made Vishnu a salad for lunch before making Kaiden a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. We then watched an episode of Pinkalicious. When I told him it’s time to brush his teeth, he told me to set a timer. After two timers, playing with his dinosaurs and dump truck, and cutting some paper with his scissors, we went to the bathroom to brush his teeth! Then we put on his socks and shoes. He jumped into his stroller and we were off!

7:50-8:20a – I dropped K off at school. Thankfully, it’s within walking distance. Also, I’m SO GRATEFUL that Kaiden loves going to school now. He asks, “Hey, mama. We going to school?” EVERY SINGLE DAY! Makes things so much easier!

8:20a-12:00p – Work, work, work, work. Mid-year review (!), meetings, reviewing documents, writing, project stuff, etc.

At 10a, I also ate my first meal of the day because I’m trying out intermittent fasting (only my 2nd week)! I definitely plan to share more about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, results, what I’m eating, etc. soon. Stay tuned!

12:00-12:45p – Workout break. I did a quick 30 minute PopSugar Fitness strength workout and took a quick shower as well.

12:45-4:00p – Work, work, work, work! I also ate my second meal at 1:45p because I was starving.

Vishnu came home around 2:00ish. Today was an academic day for him (he gets one every 2 week), but he still had to go to the hospital for a few things (he left the house at 7:15).

4:00p – Cleaned up around the house. Folded laundry and put dishes in dishwasher.

4:30p – Went to pick up K! Easily my favorite part of the day!

4:50-6:00p – PLAY, PLAY, PLAY

6:00-6:30p – Dinner time! We ordered pizza from Pequods for dinner. Kaiden and I shared a thin crust (half cheese and half pineapple/green olives) and Vishnu got a personal pan pizza with sausage and jalapenos. YUM!

6:30-7:30p – Bath time, reading time, bed time! It only took me three times to leave K’s room to be called back!

7:30-8:45p – Work, work, work. Wrapped up a few emails and worked on a project document.

8:45-9:15p – Typed up this post.

10:00p – LIGHTS OUT!

Written on July 15, 2020 Related:Life, motherhood, Uncategorized

Sonal Singh’s Inspiring Journey – From Chemicals to Biscuits

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I’m so excited to share today’s post. As you know, I love inspirational stories, especially from mamas who work hard to make their dreams come true (whatever that looks like). Today’s mama, Sonal, did just that, and I find her journey so awesome. But more than that, I love that she never gave up and went with the twists and turns life threw her way.

I’m lucky to call Sonal a friend, and when I asked if she was interested in sharing her story on MIS, she quickly agreed.

So grab your favorite snack and be prepared to be inspired. Oh and follow Sonal on IG at @deargirlslovemom. Her feed is filled with beautiful food, stories about motherhood, and her general thoughts and ideas. I love the mix and the authenticity with which Sonal shares.

Ok, enough from me. Over to Sonal…

A few weeks ago, after I launched my biscuit buisness, Parita reached out to me to share that she felt inspired by what I am doing. Truth be told, I don’t think she really understands how following her blog has been regular doses of motivation for me. I guess that goes to show that when you really are true to yourself and who you are, others find pockets of your story to inspire with them.

I digress by saying, I did not, and even in this moment, DO NOT have my shit together. Even with an equal partner in parenting, a mother-in-law to help, and a father-in-law that jumps in when he sees I’m about to lose my mind when raising my girls, I still don’t get a shower in every day, there are many peanut butter or avocado toast lunches, the TV still is on duty to help baby sit, and I still have a post baby body to love more than I would like to admit most days. Some of this may change as the girls get older, but I have my arms open to all the other unforeseen challenges to come. It’s my life, and my lane. I can’t and won’t change my past for someone else’s no matter what has happened because there are too many lessons I’ve learned to get me to where I am and where I want to go. That is gold right there.

While try I to write my story so that my daughters grow up knowing they have a strong, motivated, daring, hard-working mother, they and the rest of the world should also know I am full of mistakes that I learn from, failures so that I can grow, and scars to remind me that I am human. 

There aren’t many things that have not gone exactly as planned in my life. Most of my 5 year plans get thrown off but I think taking chances and living in the moment has helped me accept curve balls. The first big one being meeting my husband. I was on the “screw boys” parade when I met him and never looked back after our first date. We went ring shopping six months into dating on my first trip to Vancouver (where I also fell in love with Granville Island and the small culinary school there) and were engaged by eight months. Since that trip to Vancouver, Darren, my now husband, always asked me why I don’t just go to culinary school. He knew my love for cooking and was always my biggest cheerleader when I would tell him about my dreams of having a successful cooking blog. It was comforting to know he had my back but I never acted on it because I was blissfully content.

Finally in fall 2014, after having our dog for less than a year, I decided it was time to give up my career as a chemist. I loved my job and how dynamic it was, but as we started to think about wanting a family one day I knew the things worried I was already bringing home around our dog would give me more anxiety once we had kids. Some of the chemicals I have worked with in the past were toxic enough to make a man go sterile to give perspective of the types of hazardous materials I would use. Darren was also at a point in his career where he could either choose to venture into having his own private practice in Canada or keep working in the States. So after a years of Darren’s encouragement to go to culinary school, I applied to The Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts in Granville Island, and was accepted to start in January 2015. We packed up our house in Tallahassee, Florida and drove to Vancouver, Canada with a car full of our things and our dog in December 2014. A curve ball in my 5 year plan that I never thought would happen even after I knew I was marrying a Canadian.

Highly recommend a cross-country road trip! One of the best trips I’ve done and can’t wait to do it again with my girls. 

Once in Canada, it really hit me hard. I had lived away from home since I was 18 but being 3 time zones away from my friends and family and in another country really took a toll on me. I LOVED being in school and all the fun exciting opportunities I was getting. My imagination was going wild with the creative dishes I could make with every ingredient imaginable. But when I would leave at the end of the night, I felt isolated and alone. Darren was working opposite schedules than my school schedule, and I spent more time talking to our dog than I would any of my family or friends because of the time zone difference. Pastry school was a bit easier since I was in morning classes but days felt long because right after school, I would go to my our clinic to help Darren with administrative work. I heavily depended on him for a social network and continued to struggle to find my own community here. There were many days where I questioned what I had done. The worst part is the questioning would continue for years to come.

I graduated in December 2016 and skipped my graduation to help at the clinic. It’s where I knew I was needed for the future of my family. Sometimes people ask if I regret never going into the industry after getting my culinary and pastry degree and the answer is still “no!” I know what the industry requires. The biggest thing chefs sacrifice is time for themselves and family. I was well aware of this before I even went to school so the fact is not a surprise to me. My diploma is valuable to me because it is proof that I took a chance on myself. It fulfilled a part of me that I suppressed to fit into this idea of what I was expected to be. Ultimately this chapter of my life will serve as an example for me to talk to my girls about following their dreams and happiness.

Fast forward to September 2016 when I find out I am pregnant. It happened a lot faster than we anticipated and it was only a matter of days after when I really started feeling the intensity of the hyperemesis gravidarum- basically non stop severe nausea and vomiting that landed me in the hospital almost weekly for my entire pregnancy.  My pregnancy journey for both of my girls left me with A LOT of post partum anxiety. Something I didn’t even know was a thing until my second was about 9 months old. I got pregnant with my second while my first was only 10 months old so I was NOT ready to do this again. So much of the trauma from my first pregnancy manifested itself the second time around especially since I had hyperemesis gravidarum again, but this time while raising a strong willed toddler.

My life between September 2016 to January 2020 was filled with lots of emotional and mental ups and down. I felt like since birth I was groomed to go to school and have a career and that motherhood would just naturally come to me. That there were some magical hormones that would tell my brain and body what to do so that I would be a happy mom. Obviously not the case as any mother will tell you. We are all struggling and thriving! We are all sacrificing and growing! This is why I felt compelled to share at the beginning that I am just another mother taking it day by day. I knew the day my first daughter was born that getting myself to feel like I have a grip on this was going to take time. I had been to hell and back with my pregnancy and I was NOT going to let myself or anyone make me move on from how terrible it was until I was ready. Letting go of a timeline to get back mentally allowed me to pay attention to my day and how to be better or simply just survive the next day. There were days I felt like I was wasting valuable time because all I could do give my girls all my energy leaving nothing for myself. I felt like there was no end to these difficult baby/toddler days and that my life would never have purpose beyond being a mom. But simple reminders of where I was and how far I’ve come would allow me to refocus on how this is MY story and the two people that will likely want to know it needs to see how I grew.  

Which is why, after many unsuccessful cooking blogs, I have now found the perfect one. My blog, Dear Girls, Love Mom is filled with love letters to my girls. It is the passion project I want to leave them with so they look back and read about their childhood through my eyes and my motherhood journey with them. An extension of it is a small, one man business I started this year in the middle of Covid-19 called Yo Momma’s Biscuits- a place to get southern style biscuits in Vancouver.  Even though I never worked in the industry, there are binders and binders of valuable knowledge I have on food businesses and recipes that I want to share with my girls and anyone that follows my blog. I have many dreams about where Yo Momma’s Biscuits will take me, but, like I learned from my recent years of becoming a mom, I’m taking it one step at a time. Biting off more than I can chew is a recipe for disaster so I am okay with keeping it simple and orders at a minimum. 

I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in the last 5 years is give yourself the grace you give others, and also ask from others. It wouldn’t be a lesson if it was easy to do. As you can see I am not some well-to-do, big shot, boss babe (although I call myself that in the mirror to boost myself esteem). I am a Mom just trying to be the best example I can be to my girls by living the lessons I want to teach them. If someone can find inspiration in that, then I hope to connect with them so that we can champion motherhood together. 

Written on July 1, 2020 Related:guest post, Life, motherhood

10 True Things About the Second Year of Motherhood

written by Parita Leave a Comment

The second year of mother is quite different than year 1. For one, you have a mobile baby who can get from point A to point B in literally 5 seconds flat. If that’s not enough of a game changer, now you’re baby eats real food way more regularly, starts talking up a storm, and is also developing emotionally. I think they call the output of that tantrums… 🙂

Anyways, personally, I found the second year of motherhood a tad bit easier than year 1. This had less to do with K than it had to do with me and the kind of person I am.

Regardless, there are some (universal…at least to me) truths about the second year of motherhood I wanted to share.

In no particular order…

  • As your baby grows, so does your love.  You’ll never know exactly how, but day by day, you’ll love this little person more than you ever thought possible.
  • You’re not as uncertain as you were during year 1, but that ‘what am I doing?’ feeling still lingers.
  • When you look back, you’ll be shocked by how fast year 2 goes.
  • You realize you’ll never completely feel like your old self and that’s ok.  When you had your baby, a new you emerged, and she’s cooler than pre-baby you!  At least that’s what I tell myself.
  • Sleep, or good consistent sleep, may still elude you.  Those regressions are something!  Also, I still wake up a few times a night because I think I hear Kaiden crying. 
  • Hearing your kid’s voice on the daily, actually saying words, never gets old!
  • You will have lots and lots of days where the countdown to bedtime starts at 10 am.
  • You’ll learn to pick your battles a lot sooner and quicker.  Otherwise, everything will turn into a battle!
  • As much as you try, mom guilt won’t totally escape you. It may look a little different from year 1, and if you’re lucky, it’ll be a bit more infrequent, but it’s still there.  And that’s ok. The way I look at it, mom guilt just means you care! 
  • You get so many unsolicited kisses and hugs.  They are undoubtedly the best things ever!

It’ll be an interesting transition from 2 to 3. I hear it’s just as intense, if not more, because they learn how to negotiate. We shall see!

Written on August 28, 2019 Related:Baby, motherhood, Toddler, Uncategorized

Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Anandi Shah

written by Parita Leave a Comment

It’s Friday! Finally! I’m back with another ‘Diary of a Working Mom’ Q&A. Today’s guest is Anandi Shah – we connected over the ‘gram. I LOVE her style. It’s trendy and cute while being affordable. I highly recommend following her at HeyAnandi.

Anandi is a busy lady – she works full-time managing a big team, is raising two kiddos, and runs a really fun side hobby/business (again, check out HeyAnandi on Instagram). I think you’ll love her responses because they’re filled with wisdom and a go with the flow kind of feeling.

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
Hey guys! My name is Anandi Shah. I’ve been married to my husband, Harshil, for almost 13 years and we have two kids – our daughter is 8 and our son is 5.

ell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
Hey guys! My name is Anandi Shah. I’ve been married to my husband, Harshil, for almost 13 years and we have two kids – our daughter is 8 and our son is 5.


2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I work in the Sales and Marketing department of my organization where I manage a team responsible for license agreement negotiations for our products, as well as supporting and managing our CRM. They’re two completely different roles which require me to put on different hats everyday, but my main role is managing the CRM (executing projects, working with stakeholders to ensure that deliverables are met, etc.). Basically, I make sure our system is running smoothly, projects stay on target, negotiations are managed and my team is happy and willing to come back another day!

3. Walk me through a day in your life. 
**DISCLAIMER: While I wish I had a set routine every day (which, trust me, I strive for each new day), my life is a little more like a “Choose your own adventure” book. Especially with two young, strong-willed children in the house and a couple of parents with a million things to remember! In conclusion, we wing it!

I digress…Here’s an example of one of the many types of days we live!**  I usually wake up around 6/6:15, shower real quick (under 10 min), wake up my oldest first who is pretty independent, except she needs to be pushed to do things faster (like we all do!). My husband is great and wakes up my son and gets him ready. While they are eating breakfast, I’m getting ready and multitasking to get their lunch out (which is packed the night before, reheated in the morning if needed), water bottles, backpacks, my breakfast etc. Once we’re all ready to go, I drop them off to school which is on my way to work. I try to get to work by 8 but that doesn’t always happen (all depends on how the morning goes. Sometimes I’ll forget something – kids’ lunch, their backpack, my laptop, did I leave my hair thing on, traffic, etc.). Once at work, I’m usually there until about 4:15/4:30, working through lunch if I get in late. If I do take a lunch, it’s usually to go run errands (oh hey, Target!). Then I pick up the kids by 5 (*a mom guilt trigger, my kids always want me to pick them up when their friends get picked up at the end of the school day). Once we get home, it’s dinner, baths, homework and getting ready for bed (pjs, brushing teeth, reading, etc.) Dinners could be anything from leftovers from the night before, something I was able to whip up real quick, a freezer meal, or take out (or on super special days, something my mom made that I was able to pick up during the day since she lives near where I work! *Thanks, mom for continuing to mom <3* )! The kids are usually in bed by 7:30 but can take up to a half hour to fall asleep. I tuck them in and stay with them for a few minutes.  Then, I go down to finish off the dishes, clean the kitchen, make lunch (if they’re not buying school lunch), pack snacks, etc. This can take anywhere from a half hour to an hour. My husband usually gives my son a bath, packs lunch some days and makes dinner if needed. Once that’s all done, I’m usually doing things for my insta-blog (could be shopping, engaging on social media, content building, stories, etc) and then I may or may not get the time to watch something (if I don’t fall asleep on the couch -____-). I try to be in bed by 11:30. 

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I’m more patient, more understanding, and can empathize a whole lot more. It’s helped me be a better teacher and help manage interpersonal relationships with my team and colleagues. Since I manage people, it’s also helped me be a better manager. 

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
Keep the two separate. When I’m at work, I do my best to give my all to my job. I know the kids are in the best hands possible (after my husband and I, grandparents, etc.). You have to trust that, and if you don’t, it’s time to find new childcare. When I get home, my attention is given to the kids. If I need to check work emails, I check them after they’re asleep. To me, having a good balance means keeping the two separate.

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
My biggest source of mom guilt is probably feeling like I’m not spending enough time with them. So I do my best to spend time with them when we’re together. This also means that all the things I needed to do take a back seat—laundry to be folded stays piled up for weeks, cleaning, running errands. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at giving myself a break. Sometimes, I give myself grace and I’m better at letting certain things go so it’s easier for me—it’s ok to let them be on their iPads a little longer, get that cleaning lady in more often to help with whatever I need, get the grandparents to help more. Do whatever you need to so that you can be happier, and in turn, be a better mom.

7. What is the most surprising part about being a working mom?  
When I went back to work after my first maternity leave, it was hard. But after a while, once I was settled into work life, I realized I liked the separation between work and home. Although I was working full time, I needed this “break.” AND I got to dress up again! I’m a strong believer in if you look good, you feel good! And a mommy who feels good can bring that energy back to her kids.

And the most rewarding?
Believe it or not, I’m an introvert. Being at work, I’ve made some good friends through the years, people I enjoy being around (we laugh a lot) which makes coming into work that much better. It gives me a chance to recharge a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days where I don’t want to go to work…we all do. But having a work environment that doesn’t make your stomach turn every morning and one that is flexible to your needs as a working mom (doc appts, events at school, etc) is so important.

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?
My “me” time consists of different things. During the week, it’s the hour or so I get at the end of the night to either watch a show or do things for my insta-blog (website coming eventually but that’s a whole new ballgame I can’t seem to figure out how to find time for!). Some days, my husband and I tag team and I get to go to the gym straight from work (still working on getting to the gym more!). On the weekends it might be going out with friends or just going for a mani/pedi.  Regardless of what it is, my husband plays a huge part on helping me carve out that “me” time. And we BOTH give each other that “me” time—sometimes it’s planned weeks in advance and sometimes just the night before, but we work together to figure it out (sometimes after bickering!).

On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
Ugh, if you haven’t guessed it already—I love to shop! I may need to cut it down a bit, but that’s a topic for another day! 

9. What’s your mama mantra?
“We’ll figure it out, it’s going to be ok”—laundry, folding of said laundry, dishes, organizing, getting kids from one place to another, date night, disagreements, getting the house presentable before people come over, finishing that school project that you completely forgot about until Sunday afternoon. If you have a partner that’s willing to figure things out with you, then that’s great because in the end because you’re in it together.

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work?
Start your childcare early! Whether it’s a daycare or an at home nanny, start it at least a week or two early. You’re basically easing yourself into someone new watching your precious baby but you don’t have that added stress of being at work too. 

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Start midweek. Wednesday – Fri is a lot better than Monday-Friday. And if possible, ask your manager if you can work from home 2 days a week for a little bit (I did that for about 2 months I think), then cut back to 1 (if needed).

Thank you, Anandi, for taking the time to share your journey and thoughts! You’re a true inspiration, and your little family is so lucky to have you!

P.S. If you know someone who is willing to share her working mom/momprenuer story on MIS, shoot me an email (myinnershakti@gmail.com).






Written on April 26, 2019 Related:motherhood, Uncategorized, Working mama series

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