life messages Archives - My Inner Shakti

On Slowing Down

In the past few weeks alone, I’ve had more than one person tell me I’m a fast mover.

“That baby girl is just slowing you down. But not by much.”
“Girl, you are a fast preggo.”

I’ve always been this way. I walk fast, I talk fast, I eat fast, I type fast. And I get irritated when others are slow in any way, especially when it comes to walking. Some may even say I lack patience sometimes!

But these comments lately have made me laugh and pause because I’m finding that I want to slow down more. I’m clearly having a hard time.

I was talking to my colleague and friend Ros about this a few weeks ago, and we both said that slowing down makes us feel less productive. However, we both acknowledge that not every task requires us to finish in record time. The extra five minute won’t kill us! It’s more about intentionally deciding what needs to be done quickly because of deadlines, others being involved, etc. and what can be done more slowly.

I’m trying my hardest to apply this logic to my daily tasks…and it’s HARD! I’m so programmed to be quick that slowing down literally takes me talking to myself while doing most things as a reminder to not rush through.

Part of me is also very aware that this stage of life is one I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. To be home, around family and friends. To raise beautiful and kind humans with someone I love and adore. I want to look back and say that I lived these years slowly and purposefully. I want to recall details. I want those around me to feel my presence.

This is going to require a lot of work. As I’ve shared, I’m trying to build a simple daily meditation practice. I’m telling myself to slow down all the time. And I’m also sharing this public post in the hopes that those who know me IRL keep me accountable to this important goal.

With that, I’m about to go through my skincare routine very slowly, enjoying the process. And then it’s time to hit the sack! Good sleep seems to be an important part of this too!

Enjoy and Appreciate the Slow Days

written by Parita 2 Comments

While I drove home from my Sunday night grocery run, I reflected on the weekend and thought, “Saturday felt like a slow day, and I really liked it.”

What I mean by slow is that we took our time doing almost everything (getting up, getting ready, eating, etc.), and I remember everything about the day. That hardly happens anymore. It honestly felt like the ‘good old days.’ You know, the days when smart phones and the internet like it is now didn’t exist. Days where you took your time and savored the moment.

Upon further reflection, I decided I want more slow days. In fact, I want more slow days than fast ones.

This thought was solidified when I sat down on the couch next to Vishnu an hour or so later. I was scrolling through Facebook (trust me, I see the irony in this) and came upon a heartbreaking story. A story about a 37 year old mother who was driving home from the hospital where she was visiting her premature twins in the NICU. A mother whose car was fatally sideswiped by another vehicle whose driver was possibly under the influence. A mother who leaves behind six children and a husband.

I immediately started praying for this family as the tears rolled down my face. I also couldn’t help but think about all of the other recent tragedies and how life just isn’t fair. But I suppose we’ll never know why bad things happen to good people.

And while there’s nothing fair about losing someone you love way too soon, something we can do while our loved ones are still with us is enjoy and appreciate the slow days with them. All this requires is to really be in the moment with those who matter most. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Put your phone away. Don’t think about work or your growing to do (or get to) list. Listen, acknowledge, hug, kiss, smile, play, enjoy, appreciate, slow down, and LIVE!

Because we’ll never truly know what’s in store for us tomorrow, go ahead and enjoy and appreciate the slow days. And while you’re at it, actively cultivate lots and lots of slow days. Your future self will thank you.

I wish you a slow and happy Monday!

A ‘Have To’ List vs. A ‘Get To’ List

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Like so many others, I spent most of yesterday in shock over the horrific mass shooting in Vegas. There are no words to adequately describe how sick to my stomach I felt as we watched the news in the morning and learned more about what happened.

Kaiden was positioned between me and Vishnu on the sofa, and as I looked at him, I couldn’t help but cry and think, “I’m so so sorry for this crazy world, kiddo. I promise we’ll do everything in our power to leave it a better place for you.”

Many people have expressed that prayers and thoughts are not enough in times like this. Times where policy change and a little stepping up on the part of our leaders and politicians could mean the difference between life and death. And while I will never stop praying for and sending positive thoughts to those who need them, I agree that action is the only way forward. Look, I get that the right to bear arms is just that…a right. But when one person’s right can ultimately cost someone else’s life, we need to rethink the entire system. I’m not an expert in the area of gun control laws by any means, but this, to me, isn’t about having all the facts. It’s about using commonsense. And at the end of the day, I’m just someone who wants to leave this world a better place than she found it.

Anyways, I’m looking into what I can personally do to help create change. Maybe it’ll make a difference, maybe it won’t. But I have to try. For Kaiden and all the other beautiful babies who deserve a bright and peaceful future.

One very easy thing all of us can do is contact our legislators. To make the process even easier, you can text ‘RESIST’ to 50409. Follow the instructions to send a personal and powerful message to those who have the opportunity to impact major reform. Enough is enough.

With everything that’s been going on in the world as of late, from natural disasters to the man made ones, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of have to vs. get to. Let me explain.

I 100% acknowledge that I live a very privileged life. It’s not perfect by any means, but from a needs based perspective, I don’t have to worry about much. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, running water, electricity, etc. We are privileged and freaking lucky. I know this.

But then I go through my day thinking about all the things I have to do. I have to do the laundry, I have to make dinner, I have to pump, I have to pay the bills, I have to clean…and the list goes on and on.

When you think about it, for most of us, our ‘have to’ list is a really a ‘get to’ list because of our privilege.

Getting to do laundry means we have clean clothes on our backs.
Getting to make dinner means we have food on the table and full bellies.
Getting to pump means I can feed Kaiden breast milk.
Getting to pay bills means we have gas, electricity, internet, and TV services.
Getting to clean means we have a roof over our heads to keep clean.

There may very well be things on your list that you have to do because there’s no way around them. However, when you put the ‘get to’ spin on them, you’ll feel more grateful about even the most mundane of actions. Like laundry.

Look, I’m not saying it’s easy to live in a state of complete gratefulness day in and day out. But if you can tip the scale to be a little more ‘get to’ heavy, I’d say you’re doing pretty good. 🙂 In the midst of all the chaos, that’s what I’m working on.

Restoring My Faith in Humanity

written by Parita 10 Comments

You guys, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. There are days where I hear/read the news and have a visceral reaction. And let’s be real, as of late, it’s every day.

The recent increase in hate crimes against Indians are what have my blood boiling right now. The stories I read make me so angry/sad/worried/etc. I literally sobbed at my desk while reading Sunayana Dumala’s, wife of Srinivas Kuchibhotla who was killed at a Kansas City bar, heartbreaking Facebook post.

I hate to say this, but my faith in humanity slips away with every single incident like this one (and so many others). It sounds a little ridiculous, given how many more amazing humans there are inhibiting this Earth (like Ian Grillot who stood up for the two Indian men in Kansas City), but I can’t help it.

To help counter this not so positive way of thinking, I find myself scanning my environment every chance I get looking for glimpses of good, kindhearted people. The gentleman who held the door for the elderly lady the other morning, the lady who let me cut in front of her as I exited the parking lot (she even waved and smiled at me!), our doormen who ALWAYS greet us with smiles on their faces, etc. There is all kinds of goodness all around us…we just have to look for it.

In fact, I was able to experience firsthand how good people can be. And with that experience, my faith in humanity was restored to a degree…

Vishnu and I met up with his med school friend for dinner on Saturday night. The restaurant is walking distance away, but we decided to take a Lyft because of the weather. We got to the restaurant, chatted, ate dinner, and got ready to pay our bill. While asking Vishnu if he wanted me to use my credit card, I pulled my purse into my lap and saw that my wallet was no where to be found. “Weird. I must of left it at home,” I thought.

Fast forward to us arriving home (2 hours later). I couldn’t get my ‘missing’ wallet out of my mind, so Vishnu and I searched high and low for about 15 minutes before reconvening in the living room. “My wallet must have fell out of my purse in the Lyft we took to the restaurant,” I said to Vishnu. He immediately took my phone and found the driver’s number. I called Alvin (the world’s best Lyft driver!), and the first thing he said to me was, “I have your wallet. A couple of riders after you found it. I can bring it by your place after I finish up this last ride.” “THANK YOU, ALVIN!,” I screamed.

And as promised, Alvin showed up at our place a little after 11:30 with my wallet in hand (and 100% in tact…nothing was missing). I gave him cash, thanked him at least five times, called him my angel (ha!), and said good-bye. A very relieved and tired Parita made her way upstairs. As I laid in bed that night, I thought about how easy it would’ve been for Alvin to ignore my phone calls or take my cash. But he didn’t. He went out of his way to ensure I got my wallet that very night.

I know this incident doesn’t even compare to the gut-wrenching things people are experiencing right now, but connecting with people like Alvin helps me realize that on a grander scale we will overcome the craziness that lies ahead. That somehow, even when terrible things happen, people will come together and help one another.

I guess this post was just a long way of saying…thank you, Alvin, for restoring my faith in humanity and it’s inherent goodness!

Walk and Talk

written by Parita 9 Comments

Today’s post was meant to be about phase 4 of Best Body Bootcamp (registration for the next round is open now!). However, I haven’t had the time to sit down and gather my thoughts. Work was a busier than usual this week. I’m so looking forward to the holiday on Monday. Woo!

I did, however, have the opportunity to go on a 3 mile walk with my colleague Bhusha. This was my first time walking in this particular area at night (no worries, the path is well lit), and it was absolutely beautiful. We are so blessed.

Anyway, during our walk, Bhusha and I talked a lot about taking risks, being honest about what makes you happy, trusting that [right now] you are exactly where you are supposed to be, etc. At the end of our walk, I thanked her for being my “therapist.” Ha!

I wish y’all could have joined us for our deep conversation. But since that goes beyond the realm of possibility, I thought I would share the following messages with the hopes that they evoke deep thoughts/emotions for you. In fact, each of these messages were touched upon during our walk, so in a way, y’all were with us (just 12 hours later)!