inspirational reminders Archives

If You Don’t Ask…

…the answer is always no. As I (and Nora Roberts) like to say.

While the big lesson Vishnu wants to pass on to Kaiden is to never give up no matter how many times he may fall, mine is a little different. I want to teach him the value of asking for what he believes he deserves because if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Additionally, not asking leads to regret and what ifs, which are both hard to live with.

There’s no doubt Kaiden will hear me say this A LOT over the course of his life because I truly believe it and have benefited from asking these harder questions.

For example, I was the only person in my post-MBA job class to ask for an increase in base salary, and guess what…I got one. Nothing monumental, but something’s better than nothing.

A couple of years ago, I had a courageous conversation with my boss’s boss about my salary. I asked her if an increase to market value was possible, and guess what…not only did I get a major bump in salary, but I also got a promotion.

Don’t get me wrong. Money is not the most important driver. Possibility is. I know who have met the loves of the their lives because they dared to ask a stranger out. People who got cool opportunities when they weren’t the most qualified because they showed ambition and determination.

I also know people, myself included, who’ve asked the question and received a no in return. It’s not easy to hear, but at least you know versus wondering what could have been. The no is a lot easier to take when you think of it this way.

And this doesn’t just apply to major life situations. It applies to small every day things too. From restaurant requests to asking for samples at Sephora. 🙂

Don’t discount the power of asking for what you want. The worst thing anyone can say is no.

Enjoy and Appreciate the Slow Days

written by Parita 2 Comments

While I drove home from my Sunday night grocery run, I reflected on the weekend and thought, “Saturday felt like a slow day, and I really liked it.”

What I mean by slow is that we took our time doing almost everything (getting up, getting ready, eating, etc.), and I remember everything about the day. That hardly happens anymore. It honestly felt like the ‘good old days.’ You know, the days when smart phones and the internet like it is now didn’t exist. Days where you took your time and savored the moment.

Upon further reflection, I decided I want more slow days. In fact, I want more slow days than fast ones.

This thought was solidified when I sat down on the couch next to Vishnu an hour or so later. I was scrolling through Facebook (trust me, I see the irony in this) and came upon a heartbreaking story. A story about a 37 year old mother who was driving home from the hospital where she was visiting her premature twins in the NICU. A mother whose car was fatally sideswiped by another vehicle whose driver was possibly under the influence. A mother who leaves behind six children and a husband.

I immediately started praying for this family as the tears rolled down my face. I also couldn’t help but think about all of the other recent tragedies and how life just isn’t fair. But I suppose we’ll never know why bad things happen to good people.

And while there’s nothing fair about losing someone you love way too soon, something we can do while our loved ones are still with us is enjoy and appreciate the slow days with them. All this requires is to really be in the moment with those who matter most. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Put your phone away. Don’t think about work or your growing to do (or get to) list. Listen, acknowledge, hug, kiss, smile, play, enjoy, appreciate, slow down, and LIVE!

Because we’ll never truly know what’s in store for us tomorrow, go ahead and enjoy and appreciate the slow days. And while you’re at it, actively cultivate lots and lots of slow days. Your future self will thank you.

I wish you a slow and happy Monday!

A ‘Have To’ List vs. A ‘Get To’ List

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Like so many others, I spent most of yesterday in shock over the horrific mass shooting in Vegas. There are no words to adequately describe how sick to my stomach I felt as we watched the news in the morning and learned more about what happened.

Kaiden was positioned between me and Vishnu on the sofa, and as I looked at him, I couldn’t help but cry and think, “I’m so so sorry for this crazy world, kiddo. I promise we’ll do everything in our power to leave it a better place for you.”

Many people have expressed that prayers and thoughts are not enough in times like this. Times where policy change and a little stepping up on the part of our leaders and politicians could mean the difference between life and death. And while I will never stop praying for and sending positive thoughts to those who need them, I agree that action is the only way forward. Look, I get that the right to bear arms is just that…a right. But when one person’s right can ultimately cost someone else’s life, we need to rethink the entire system. I’m not an expert in the area of gun control laws by any means, but this, to me, isn’t about having all the facts. It’s about using commonsense. And at the end of the day, I’m just someone who wants to leave this world a better place than she found it.

Anyways, I’m looking into what I can personally do to help create change. Maybe it’ll make a difference, maybe it won’t. But I have to try. For Kaiden and all the other beautiful babies who deserve a bright and peaceful future.

One very easy thing all of us can do is contact our legislators. To make the process even easier, you can text ‘RESIST’ to 50409. Follow the instructions to send a personal and powerful message to those who have the opportunity to impact major reform. Enough is enough.

With everything that’s been going on in the world as of late, from natural disasters to the man made ones, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of have to vs. get to. Let me explain.

I 100% acknowledge that I live a very privileged life. It’s not perfect by any means, but from a needs based perspective, I don’t have to worry about much. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, running water, electricity, etc. We are privileged and freaking lucky. I know this.

But then I go through my day thinking about all the things I have to do. I have to do the laundry, I have to make dinner, I have to pump, I have to pay the bills, I have to clean…and the list goes on and on.

When you think about it, for most of us, our ‘have to’ list is a really a ‘get to’ list because of our privilege.

Getting to do laundry means we have clean clothes on our backs.
Getting to make dinner means we have food on the table and full bellies.
Getting to pump means I can feed Kaiden breast milk.
Getting to pay bills means we have gas, electricity, internet, and TV services.
Getting to clean means we have a roof over our heads to keep clean.

There may very well be things on your list that you have to do because there’s no way around them. However, when you put the ‘get to’ spin on them, you’ll feel more grateful about even the most mundane of actions. Like laundry.

Look, I’m not saying it’s easy to live in a state of complete gratefulness day in and day out. But if you can tip the scale to be a little more ‘get to’ heavy, I’d say you’re doing pretty good. 🙂 In the midst of all the chaos, that’s what I’m working on.

The Wright Institute: Foundations Weekend

written by Parita 4 Comments

I attended a workshop this weekend hosted by the Wright Foundation [for the Realization of Human Potential]. And when I say I attended, I mean – 6-11 p on Friday and 8a-8p on both Saturday and Sunday. It was full on!

The focus of the weekend was personal transformation and growth, a topic I love and find super interesting. Overall, I enjoyed the workshop, the content, and the people I met. I’m not quite sure if I’ll participate in another (paid) program, but I’m glad I put myself out there and did something that was a little outside my comfort zone.

I thought I would share some of the snippets that impacted and inspired me the most.

Our fears tell us more about who we are, what we can expect from the world, and what the world can expect from us. This plays into loss aversion – anticipating the pain of loss more than the pleasure of gain. Said differently, playing to win versus playing not to lose.
More than happiness, we should seek out well-being, meaning, and incremental self-improvement.
We are the gift to the world. Period. Not our accomplishments, the outcomes of our decisions, etc.
Our goal should be to live life unedited.
Weird is good!
Never confuse impossible with inconvenient! –> LOVE THIS
In order to get people to listen to you, YOU have to listen to you.
Your pain is part of your gift. Denying the pain is denying the gift.
You’re the corner of humanity you have to take care of and be responsible for. Otherwise, you are projecting your insecurities and unfinished BS on to the world.
There’s pain in focusing on your own satisfaction. –> So much truth to this.
Don’t be afraid to unleash the dam [of emotion] because even dams return to become a stream (or river).
When things get good, people stop taking risks. We should flip when things are good!
The more authentically you live, the more you’ll live your purpose.
By being vulnerable and opening up, you’re recruiting allies for your team.

I hope you can find some inspiration in one (or more!) of the above bullets! Happy Wednesday!

Where/what/who do you draw inspiration from?

Communicate with Kindness

written by Parita 10 Comments

Have you ever received an email/social media message/[insert communication channel] out of no where with a insulting/rude/hurtful/disrespectful/[insert adjective of choice] tone?

I, for one, have come across one too many of these kinds of messages recently. Not all of them are directed to me, but nonetheless, they’ve made enough of an impact to prompt me to write a blog post about this topic!

My message today is very simple. Communicate with kindness. Whenever possible.

It’s so easy to lose your cool, but it takes someone with emotional intelligence to communicate with kindness.

This doesn’t mean your messages should be covered in rainbows, unicorns, smiley faces, and exclamation points. Not at all.

However, your language and overall tone should relay kindness. For example, if you have a difficult message to share, don’t do it via email. Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Also, test your assumptions before writing a snarky email. Make sure you have all of the facts.

Basically, treat others the way you want your mom/dad/sister/husband/[insert relations] to be treated.

You don’t want to be the reason why someone has a bad day.

That’s all for today. Happy weekend!

Little Bits of Inspiration

written by Parita 7 Comments

As readers of my blog, you all know that I love to inspire and to be inspired.

Who am I kidding…I’m really just one big cheese ball!

Either way, this week has been filled with little bits of inspiration that have transpired from a few different places. The first is a quote I found in one of my special Gmail folders. My cousin sent it to me a few years ago, and when I reread the quote, it made me feel like anything is possible as long as you keep moving forward. The next is a message from theUniverse about not letting any one thing define you. Powerful stuff! And finally, the last one is a story my mom forwarded to me yesterday. She’s not one of those annoying people who forward everything that comes their way. She picks and chooses who receives what, so I knew this would be good. And it was. The story is about the power of letting your mind do its own thing instead of muddying the waters (so to speak).

I hope at least one of these inspires you in some way!

A quote from my cousin

It’s in the difficult times that we’re growing and you can’t just rebuke everything hard. We’ve got to endure it and fight the good fight of faith and pass the test.

Joel Osten

A message from the Universe

Nobody, Parita, is who they are based upon one decision, one day, one path, one chance, one relationship, or one anything else.

Every day is brand new and opportunity never stops knocking.

Who’s there?
The Universe

A story from my mom

Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do please get me some water from the lake.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake. The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy.

He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, the mud settled down on its own, and now you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.”

Source unknown

Have a wonderful Friday and an even better weekend!

External Sources of Inspiration

written by Parita 22 Comments

As y’all know, I try to keep things as positive as possible on this little blog. I figure there are enough sources of negative energy in the world – why add to the list.

This leads me to something I’ve been meaning to address for a while…

You see, contrary to popular belief, I was not born with the happy gene. I think a lot of people who read my blog assume that positivity and happiness are my middle names. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I’m a very emotional person. And not just in the sense that I cry about everything (although that is true). I’m emotional in that every emotion that washes over me sometimes does so in full force. What keeps this emotional rollercoaster in check is my ability to get over things pretty easily. My mom says I’m like my dad in that I don’t hold on to my emotions…easy come, easy go. Thank you, dad!

I strongly believe that I create and control my own happiness – with my thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, with my intentions and actions, with the people I allow to enter my life, with the places I let myself go, etc. And this is something I’m constantly working on. Some days are harder than others, but at the very least, I try to end each day with a happy thought, a smile, a prayer, etc.

And while much of this process is internally driven, a lot of what helps me stay the course comes from the outside. In fact, I have four sources that I turn to on a regular basis as little reminders…

The first one is my mom. She’s always forwarding inspirational/spiritual quotes, messages, pictures, etc. Here’s a recent example – “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt. Love it!

The second source is Purpose Fairy. Surprise surprise! Haha. If you’ve been reading myinnershakti for a while, you know how much I love this website. It’s a constant source of inspiration for me.

The third source comes from Goodreads. When I first signed up, I opted to receive daily Goodreads quotes via email. And that email is something I look forward to every morning, and here is a perfect example of why this is – “Look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: Thus is your time on earth filled with glory.” – Betty Smith, the author of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.

The fourth and final source is one that some might find a little strange but something that I absolutely love. Every morning I receive emails from “The Universe.” Let me explain. A good friend of mine told me about a website called Totally Unique Thoughts because she thought it was right up my alley. She was right. After looking around a little bit, I came across a link for something called Notes from the Universe. I didn’t get it at first but figured that the option to unsubscribe was only a click away. Well, I don’t think I’m ever going to unsubscribe because the daily personalized messages have, in a really strange way, become part of my permanent routine. I’m not sure if every subscriber receives the same message (probably), but there are lots of days where I feel like the note was written for me. Here are a few of my favorite examples…

Do you ever sometimes wonder, Parita, if you shouldn’t just come down to earth and settle for a bit less?
Right! Earth’s an illusion, and so are all your dreams of doing, being, and having! So settle for less of what, smoke and mirrors?!
You’re really on lately,
The Universe
You do understand, Parita, that you’re now adventuring in the jungles of time and space by special invitation, right?
Mine? Hardly.
Actually, it was the express wish of every single one of the umpteen billion people now sharing the planet with you, plus those who came before you, and those on the verge of arriving.
Basically, they thought their little emerald home wouldn’t be the same otherwise.
I agreed,
The Universe
You were built to believe, designed to receive, and born to go where no one ever has.
Dream. Dream really BIG now, Parita.
Behold, a light… The Universe
Of course, Parita, you probably could have done something else entirely with your life; something easier or more common, and have been even more successful than you are today.
But then, you wouldn’t become as successful as you are about to be.
Remember, you wanted it all?
The Universe

I totally understand that my inspirational reminders may not be for everyone, but hey, they work for me! And I hope you find something that works for you too because if you’re anything like me, every day is not full of rainbows and flowers and puppies. And little reminders, in whatever form, point out that we’re all works in progress and keep us on track. After all, happiness is a journey!

What are your sources of inspiration?

If You Don’t Ask…

Enjoy and Appreciate the Slow Days

A ‘Have To’ List vs. A ‘Get To’ List

The Wright Institute: Foundations Weekend

Communicate with Kindness

Little Bits of Inspiration

External Sources of Inspiration

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