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The Wedding…We Do!

written by Parita 20 Comments

On June 30, 2012, I married the love of my life! 

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way.  Getting married is a lot of fun!

I woke up at 5:45 am, took a quick shower, and headed downstairs to get ready in a specially designated conference room.  The makeup artist did my makeup while the stylist worked on my sister’s hair.  Such a fun process.  My mom joined us two hours into the morning and watched with such happiness in her eyes.  She was so cute! 

Because I knew that by the end of the wedding ceremony I would be a huge mess, Vishnu and I decided to do a “first look” and pictures before everything officially started.  Seeing each other before the ceremony goes against tradition, but honestly, it was the best decision we made.  It wasn’t too hot, my makeup was fresh, and it was actually a great way to relieve any stress that we were feeling.

A preview picture Amy, the photographer, sent me a few weeks ago…

par vishnu 1

After our photo session with our siblings and my bridesmaids, we parted ways.  Vishnu headed to a pre-wedding religious ceremony with his family, and I headed back to the conference room to hang out and eat lunch.

Around noon, some of my bridesmaids headed outside to see what was happening with the baraat. 

Let me explain…

Vishnu and his family and friends all met in the back of the parking lot where a horse carriage was waiting for them.  Once Vishnu’s side made it to the front of the hotel, they were greeted by my  family.  Before heading to the ballroom, everyone danced to Bollywood music.  And get this, it was over 100 degrees that day.  Some of our friends were soaked in sweat.  That’s how you know it was a good baraat.

par vishnu 2

Before Vishnu was officially welcomed by my family, he and and his friends did a pre-game chant.  For those of you who are football fans, the chant was inspired by Drew Brees.  The only difference between Vishnu and Drew was that Vishnu chanted about his shoes.

This brings me to another fun tradition – stealing the grooms shoes.  I have no clue how this one started, but the basic gist is that the bride’s side has to steal the groom’s shoes and keep them hidden until the end of the ceremony.  If they are successful in doing so, the groom has to pay them big bucks.  Vishnu ended up dishing out $210 for his shoes – my side prevailed!  It was quite the fight though…

par vishnu 3

And yes, that is Vishnu’s brother lying on the floor.  I don’t even know.

Anyways, before I knew it, it was my time to enter the ballroom.  Vishnu’s little cousins, the flower girls, led the procession.  Next came the most amazing bridesmaids ever!  And then it was my turn!

par vishnu 4

I had been dreaming of that walk down the aisle for as long as I can remember.  And it was better than I ever imagined – I can’t even put into words what I was thinking and feeling.  I just know that I’ll never forget it.  Ever.

Once I made my way into the mandap (an Indian altar), the pandit (priest) performed a number of ceremonies, including the giving away of the bride by her parents (Kanyadaan), walking around the fire, and taking the seven steps together.  And just like that, we were declared husband and wife!!!

par vishnu 6

par vishnu 5
par vishnu 7 
Before I knew it, the group pictures were over, and it was time for the vidai (the bride’s farewell).  Vidais are incredibly sad, and mine was no different.  I cried…a lot!  So did my family, especially my mom.  Even though I’m still my parents’ daughter and my sister’s sister and everything else I was before, it was an emotional moment that marked my new role in life, that of a wife, daughter- in-law and sister-in-law. 

par vishnu 8

After the vidai, Vishnu and I headed up to the honeymoon suite to relax for an hour or so before the reception madness began…

One more wedding recap to go!

Written on August 1, 2012 Related:Indian culture, Wedding Planning

My Big Fat Indian Wedding

written by Parita 14 Comments

First off, I just want to thank you all for your comments on yesterday’s post.  I really appreciated all the different viewpoints.  I was definitely coming at it from one angle, and your thoughts helped me reframe my thinking a little bit. 

Now onto something I’ve been meaning to blog about before it’s too late in the game…the different components of an Indian wedding.  Smile

As you read this, please remember that this is all from my perspective and from what I’ve experienced.  The thing to understand about the Indian culture is that there are variations to almost everything you do and celebrate based on what region of India you’re from, what town your family grew up in, and what familial traditions were passed down over the years.

The Indian wedding celebration is just that…a true celebration.  It can last anywhere from two days to four or five.  There’s lots of dancing, singing, praying, laughing, eating, etc.  I’m going to break down the components based on what I know we’ll be doing for my wedding.  And yes, I know what events I’m having even though we haven’t set a date yet.  Winking smile I’m crazy like that!  Let’s start…

Two Days Before the Wedding

So two days before the wedding, we plan on holding a mehndhi (aka henna) night.  The bride and groom’s respective families usually hold there own night of dancing, singing, eating, and mehndhi.  Think of mehndhi as a temporary tattoo of sorts.  The bride and all of her female family and friends get it done as a way to adorn their hands, arms, and feet (usually just the bride).

Bridal-Mehndi-Design-for-Foot1

Source

Vishnu’s not a huge fan of this stuff.  He says it creeps him out, but I really don’t care.  I’ve been waiting my whole life for bridal Mehndhi…I’m going all out!!! 

One Day Before the Wedding

The morning before the wedding my parents will have a series of poojas (prayer events) at our house for me.  They are held throughout the morning and early afternoon, and different family members perform different parts of each.  For one of the ceremonies, the women of the family put a yellow paste all over the bride’s exposed skin.  From what my mom tells me, the whole point is to bless and purify the bride for the next chapter in her life.  Symbolism is a huge part of Indian weddings.

bride Source

The night before the wedding both my family and Vishnu’s family will get together for a garba celebration (a traditional Gujarati dance).  In actuality, garba holds a very spiritual significance and is celebrated right after Diwali (I’ll save all this for another post).  But the thing to note here is that everyone will come dressed in colorful outfits and will be ready to dance.  Personally, I see it as a way for both the bride and groom’s family and friends to get together and have fun.  I’m really simplifying it, but in my eyes, that’s the true purpose of it. 

garba

This picture is from my best friend’s sister’s wedding a few years back.  If I had to choose, the garba is probably my favorite event when it comes to Indian weddings.  So.Much.Fun!!!

The Day We’ve All Been Waiting For…

To be completely honest, Vishnu and I need to do a little research and understand what all the different parts of the wedding ceremony mean.  Here’s what I do know…again, this is all me…

– The groom and his family arrive and are greeted by the bride’s family.  They all get together and dance (we Indians love to dance). Smile

– The bride’s mother then blesses the groom and welcomes him.  Then, both the bride’s parents along with the rest of the entourage walk the groom to the mandap (a mini pavilion where the actual wedding ceremony takes place).

– The bride’s parents perform ceremonies for the groom.  Then two members of the bride’s family put a sheet in front of the groom so he can’t see the bride arrive. 

– The bride is led to the mandap by her maternal uncles.  Once she’s in the mandap, the sheet is removed, and the bride and groom see each other for the first time. 

– The bride’s parents then perform some more ceremonies.  This is called kanyadan.  Kanyadan is the giving away of the bride.  My mom always says that this ceremony is going to be one of the most important moments of her and my dad’s lives.  In the Indian culture, the giving away of the bride is really emotional and symbolic. 

– The bride and groom then go through a series of other ceremonies.  The most important of which is walking around the fire pit in the middle of the mandap four times.  Each circle symbolizes something different, and once the four circles (pheras) are completed, the couple is considered married. Smile

– Dharma – Duty to each other, family, and society
– Artha – Providing for material needs of the family
– Kama – Unconditional love
– Moksha – Striving for enlightenment

– And finally, the bride and groom take seven steps together that represent the guiding principles of married life or Indian vows…

1. Respect for each other
2. Caring for each other
3. Patience with each other
4. Honesty and faithfulness to each other
5. Building a happy and strong family together
6. Traveling the journey of life together with harmony and love
7. Remaining life-long friends

Annnnnnnnnnd…you’re done!  WOOT!

IMG_5766

This picture is from my cousin’s wedding.  Her ceremony was so beautiful and simple.  I’m hoping Vishnu and I can recreate something like this for ourselves.  Smile

And finally, the reception is just one big party.  If you’ve never been to an Indian wedding reception, I suggest you find a way to get yourself invited to one because it’s a blast!  More colorful outfits, great food, and dancing that goes on until the wee hours of the morning.  I.Can’t.Wait!!!

Well, I hope this super wordy post provided some new, fun insight!  I wanted to give you guys some perspective before I jump into the details with my upcoming posts.  My goal is to document the wedding planning journey as we approach the big day.  And if nothing else, I think it’ll be something fun for Vishnu and me to look back on. Smile 

Have you ever been to an Indian wedding?  What’s your favorite wedding event (Indian or not)?

Written on July 11, 2011 Related:Hindu celebrations, Indian culture, Wedding Planning

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