My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Restaurants
  • Recipes
  • Par’s Picks
  • Privacy Policy

The Grass is Greener…

written by Parita 10 Comments

The other day, I came across an article on the Purpose Fairy blog about happiness and scientifically proven ways to increase it.  The wannabe psychologist in me loved this piece.  However, the core premise was surprising.   Let me explain.

According to research that’s been done at the University of California – Riverside by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a person’s overall happiness level is a combination of three things:

1. A “happiness set point” determined by genetics, which accounts for 50% of happiness
2. Life circumstances, which account for 10% of happiness
3. Intentional activities, which account for 40% of happiness

What surprised me was that intentional activities, the things that we choose to do, account for 40% of our overall happiness.  For some reason, I really thought there would be a more even split between the three.

This article then made me think about something I heard recently on a Jillian Michaels podcast.  I think she was talking about people purposefully creating the life they want for themselves (or something like that).  During the discussion, she casually threw out a phrase that was completely new to me – “The grass is greener where you water it.”  What a powerful idea.  In fact, I’m still thinking/writing about it weeks later.

This made me laugh a lot!

I think we (society) are so used to hearing about the grass being greener on the other side that we never stop to think about the reasons why it isn’t greener on our side.  Well, it’s probably because we’re too busy looking elsewhere and not paying any attention to what’s happening in “our own backyard.”  It takes courage to turn your gaze inward and ask the question – “what can I do differently.”  I don’t know too many people, including myself, who do this well. 

The one person that does come to mind when I think about all of this is my dad.  He is probably one of the happiest people I know.  And not because he lives a perfect life, but because he chooses to be happy and focuses on all the good that surrounds him.  A small example of this is how he deals with his early wake up call (4:45 am) for work.  Instead of comparing himself to other people his age who are retired and “living the life,” he’s thankful for his health and a body that allows him to get up so early every morning.  I’ve honestly never heard my dad complain about this.  In his words, “it’s a part of life.” 

The Purpose Fairy article outlines three scientifically proven ways to increase happiness.  Well, here are three ways of increasing happiness that I’ve learned from the happiest man I know:

1. Smile more.  Smile for no reason.  Smile at strangers.  Hell, smile at yourself in the mirror. 
2. Make it a point to listen to your favorite music often.  Instant happiness!  The minute my dad gets home (from anywhere) he plays old Bollywood songs because it makes both him and my mom happy.  I know I don’t live at home anymore, but I guarantee that most evenings those two can be found signing around the house.  It’s cute!
3. Keep in touch with those you love.  Both my parents are really good about calling up friends/family just to say hi.  The simple of act of regularly picking up the phone and catching up with people creates an environment of happiness and love.

Well, I’m off to spend time with Vishnu and his dad (another very happy person) for the next couple of days!  He’s in town for a conference and is staying with us! 

Have a wonderful weekend!  And don’t forget to water your grass with lots of intentional, happy actions this weekend! 

Written on February 8, 2013 Related:Family, Inspirational, Life

Science and Happiness

written by Parita Leave a Comment

If I were to tell you that the study of human happiness has now moved its way from psychology and philosophy to the realms of neuroscience research, what would you think?  If you’re anything like me, you’d probably think that science has taken it too far – happiness is a simple human emotion that doesn’t need to be overanalyzed.  Well, guess what…it doesn’t matter what I (we) think because that’s exactly what’s happening.

I came across an interesting article today that explains how science and happiness are connected and discoveries that are emerging from this research.  The article is called The Science Behind a Smile, and it’s an interview with Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert, known for the book Stumbling on Happiness.

I found the research to be pretty interesting, but what really blew my mind were some of the findings.  So, let me share a bit about the interview and what was said, and then let’s discuss in the comments section.  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

WHY FOCUS ON HAPPINESS NOW?

According to this article, a major reason the study of happiness is exploding right now is because governments all of over the world are trying to figure out what makes their citizens happy.  They are eager to understand how that happiness is measured and how can it be increased.  Happy citizens equal gains for all aspects of society.

WHAT ARE HAPPINESS RESEARCHERS DISCOVERING?

After studying thousands of people, one of the first discoveries was that people are not good at predicting what will make them happy and for how long that happiness will last.  The expectation of happiness or unhappiness is far greater than it actually is.  A recent study showed that very few experiences affect humans for more than three months. 

Why three months?  Some researchers say it’s because humans are good at finding the silver lining.  Overall, we have the ability to make the best of things and are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.

Researchers have also distinguished between natural happiness and synthetic happiness.  Natural happiness is the feeling we experience when we get what we want, and synthetic happiness is the feeling we produce when we don’t.  Most people probably prefer natural, but apparently, there is no difference.  With synthetic happiness, you just have to seek out new things to make you happy as a result of not getting what you want. 

This one may be obvious, but researchers have also found that people are happiest when they’re challenged enough to where they can achieve they’re goals by working hard.  People are also happy when they have strong social ties.  This doesn’t mean that only social butterflies are happy, but rather that the quality of your connections says a lot about your overall level of happiness.

Also, the frequency of positive experiences is a much better predictor of happiness than the intensity.  So, the next time you think buying that expensive car (ahem, Vishnu) is going to make you super happy, think again!  Smaller bits of happiness have a longer lasting effect.

happiness1

WHAT CAN PEOPLE DO TO BE HAPPIER?

– Enjoy the small stuff because it matters more than you think.  So, dance in the rain, give your significant other a huge kiss, eat a piece of chocolate every day, etc. – it all adds up to something great!

– Be patient.  There’s no magic pill for happiness.  The little things you can do to increase it are obvious, but you have to do them consistently and then wait for the results.  It takes time.

– Meditate, exercise, get enough sleep, volunteer, keep a thankful thoughts journal, and talk to people about why you’re happy.

– Pay attention to where your mind is throughout the day.  Gilbert mentions that when you wake up in the morning, don’t just think about all the places you have to be and all the things you have to do, try to engage your mind and think about what you’re going to do with it.

WILL THIS RESEARCH EVENTUALLY MAKE PEOPLE HAPPIER?

Gilbert makes a great point at the end – science can only tell us how to live our lives, but when it comes to what kind of lives we should want to live, that’s up to us. 

One of the reasons I really liked this article is because I think it’s so applicable to the western lifestyle.  So many people base their level of happiness on material goods and experiences, and while I too enjoy my “goods,” those things are so fleeting and temporary.  And while I’m positive there’s something to be said about the experience and thrill of making those kinds of purchases, I don’t see that as being true happiness.  In my opinion, happiness is intangible.

As this research points out, it’s kind of like a Lego set.  No one part on it’s own does much, but when all the pieces come together, that’s when you have something beautiful and meaningful.  Kind of cheesy I know, but I was thinking about my little cousin and his love for Legos!

So what do you think – is there much merit to happiness science and research?  
Compete this this sentence with a personal example: Happiness is _________.

Recently, I’ve found that happiness is being able to do a balance pose in yoga class without tumbling over.  Today, happiness is knowing that by the time the sun sets, Vishnu will be here with me!

pooja 014

Don’t let those faces fool you, we’re oh so happy!

Have a wonderful and hopefully happy weekend!

Written on February 10, 2012 Related:Health, Self

Welcome to My Inner Shakti! This is my little corner of the internet where I explore and share more about the things that give me my inner strength. I hope you stick around! Read More Here...

MIS gives back!

All advertising proceeds from this blog will be donated to a different charity every month!

Subscribe to MIS

Sign up now to receive all the latest from My Inner Shakti straight to your inbox!

Follow me on Feedly!

follow us in feedly

LOVE my blog!

Follow on Bloglovin

Web Hosting

categories

Archives

Top Posts!

  • How to Crisp Up a Tortilla
  • My Experience with Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Acne Update: Jojoba Oil + Tea Tree Oil
  • DIY Diaper Pail
  • Vidhi
  • Marriage Advice for My Little Sister
  • Our Indian Baby Shower!
  • 30 Random Blog Post Ideas
  • Food That Needs To Be Made Soon
  • Drunk Elephant Daytime and Nighttime Skincare Routines

Follow me on Instagram!

Copyright ©2022, My Inner Shakti. All Rights Reserved. Custom design by Pixel Me Designs