My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

  • Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • About Me
  • Recipes
  • Restaurants

Sonal Singh’s Inspiring Journey – From Chemicals to Biscuits

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I’m so excited to share today’s post. As you know, I love inspirational stories, especially from mamas who work hard to make their dreams come true (whatever that looks like). Today’s mama, Sonal, did just that, and I find her journey so awesome. But more than that, I love that she never gave up and went with the twists and turns life threw her way.

I’m lucky to call Sonal a friend, and when I asked if she was interested in sharing her story on MIS, she quickly agreed.

So grab your favorite snack and be prepared to be inspired. Oh and follow Sonal on IG at @deargirlslovemom. Her feed is filled with beautiful food, stories about motherhood, and her general thoughts and ideas. I love the mix and the authenticity with which Sonal shares.

Ok, enough from me. Over to Sonal…

A few weeks ago, after I launched my biscuit buisness, Parita reached out to me to share that she felt inspired by what I am doing. Truth be told, I don’t think she really understands how following her blog has been regular doses of motivation for me. I guess that goes to show that when you really are true to yourself and who you are, others find pockets of your story to inspire with them.

I digress by saying, I did not, and even in this moment, DO NOT have my shit together. Even with an equal partner in parenting, a mother-in-law to help, and a father-in-law that jumps in when he sees I’m about to lose my mind when raising my girls, I still don’t get a shower in every day, there are many peanut butter or avocado toast lunches, the TV still is on duty to help baby sit, and I still have a post baby body to love more than I would like to admit most days. Some of this may change as the girls get older, but I have my arms open to all the other unforeseen challenges to come. It’s my life, and my lane. I can’t and won’t change my past for someone else’s no matter what has happened because there are too many lessons I’ve learned to get me to where I am and where I want to go. That is gold right there.

While try I to write my story so that my daughters grow up knowing they have a strong, motivated, daring, hard-working mother, they and the rest of the world should also know I am full of mistakes that I learn from, failures so that I can grow, and scars to remind me that I am human. 

There aren’t many things that have not gone exactly as planned in my life. Most of my 5 year plans get thrown off but I think taking chances and living in the moment has helped me accept curve balls. The first big one being meeting my husband. I was on the “screw boys” parade when I met him and never looked back after our first date. We went ring shopping six months into dating on my first trip to Vancouver (where I also fell in love with Granville Island and the small culinary school there) and were engaged by eight months. Since that trip to Vancouver, Darren, my now husband, always asked me why I don’t just go to culinary school. He knew my love for cooking and was always my biggest cheerleader when I would tell him about my dreams of having a successful cooking blog. It was comforting to know he had my back but I never acted on it because I was blissfully content.

Finally in fall 2014, after having our dog for less than a year, I decided it was time to give up my career as a chemist. I loved my job and how dynamic it was, but as we started to think about wanting a family one day I knew the things worried I was already bringing home around our dog would give me more anxiety once we had kids. Some of the chemicals I have worked with in the past were toxic enough to make a man go sterile to give perspective of the types of hazardous materials I would use. Darren was also at a point in his career where he could either choose to venture into having his own private practice in Canada or keep working in the States. So after a years of Darren’s encouragement to go to culinary school, I applied to The Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts in Granville Island, and was accepted to start in January 2015. We packed up our house in Tallahassee, Florida and drove to Vancouver, Canada with a car full of our things and our dog in December 2014. A curve ball in my 5 year plan that I never thought would happen even after I knew I was marrying a Canadian.

Highly recommend a cross-country road trip! One of the best trips I’ve done and can’t wait to do it again with my girls. 

Once in Canada, it really hit me hard. I had lived away from home since I was 18 but being 3 time zones away from my friends and family and in another country really took a toll on me. I LOVED being in school and all the fun exciting opportunities I was getting. My imagination was going wild with the creative dishes I could make with every ingredient imaginable. But when I would leave at the end of the night, I felt isolated and alone. Darren was working opposite schedules than my school schedule, and I spent more time talking to our dog than I would any of my family or friends because of the time zone difference. Pastry school was a bit easier since I was in morning classes but days felt long because right after school, I would go to my our clinic to help Darren with administrative work. I heavily depended on him for a social network and continued to struggle to find my own community here. There were many days where I questioned what I had done. The worst part is the questioning would continue for years to come.

I graduated in December 2016 and skipped my graduation to help at the clinic. It’s where I knew I was needed for the future of my family. Sometimes people ask if I regret never going into the industry after getting my culinary and pastry degree and the answer is still “no!” I know what the industry requires. The biggest thing chefs sacrifice is time for themselves and family. I was well aware of this before I even went to school so the fact is not a surprise to me. My diploma is valuable to me because it is proof that I took a chance on myself. It fulfilled a part of me that I suppressed to fit into this idea of what I was expected to be. Ultimately this chapter of my life will serve as an example for me to talk to my girls about following their dreams and happiness.

Fast forward to September 2016 when I find out I am pregnant. It happened a lot faster than we anticipated and it was only a matter of days after when I really started feeling the intensity of the hyperemesis gravidarum- basically non stop severe nausea and vomiting that landed me in the hospital almost weekly for my entire pregnancy.  My pregnancy journey for both of my girls left me with A LOT of post partum anxiety. Something I didn’t even know was a thing until my second was about 9 months old. I got pregnant with my second while my first was only 10 months old so I was NOT ready to do this again. So much of the trauma from my first pregnancy manifested itself the second time around especially since I had hyperemesis gravidarum again, but this time while raising a strong willed toddler.

My life between September 2016 to January 2020 was filled with lots of emotional and mental ups and down. I felt like since birth I was groomed to go to school and have a career and that motherhood would just naturally come to me. That there were some magical hormones that would tell my brain and body what to do so that I would be a happy mom. Obviously not the case as any mother will tell you. We are all struggling and thriving! We are all sacrificing and growing! This is why I felt compelled to share at the beginning that I am just another mother taking it day by day. I knew the day my first daughter was born that getting myself to feel like I have a grip on this was going to take time. I had been to hell and back with my pregnancy and I was NOT going to let myself or anyone make me move on from how terrible it was until I was ready. Letting go of a timeline to get back mentally allowed me to pay attention to my day and how to be better or simply just survive the next day. There were days I felt like I was wasting valuable time because all I could do give my girls all my energy leaving nothing for myself. I felt like there was no end to these difficult baby/toddler days and that my life would never have purpose beyond being a mom. But simple reminders of where I was and how far I’ve come would allow me to refocus on how this is MY story and the two people that will likely want to know it needs to see how I grew.  

Which is why, after many unsuccessful cooking blogs, I have now found the perfect one. My blog, Dear Girls, Love Mom is filled with love letters to my girls. It is the passion project I want to leave them with so they look back and read about their childhood through my eyes and my motherhood journey with them. An extension of it is a small, one man business I started this year in the middle of Covid-19 called Yo Momma’s Biscuits- a place to get southern style biscuits in Vancouver.  Even though I never worked in the industry, there are binders and binders of valuable knowledge I have on food businesses and recipes that I want to share with my girls and anyone that follows my blog. I have many dreams about where Yo Momma’s Biscuits will take me, but, like I learned from my recent years of becoming a mom, I’m taking it one step at a time. Biting off more than I can chew is a recipe for disaster so I am okay with keeping it simple and orders at a minimum. 

I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in the last 5 years is give yourself the grace you give others, and also ask from others. It wouldn’t be a lesson if it was easy to do. As you can see I am not some well-to-do, big shot, boss babe (although I call myself that in the mirror to boost myself esteem). I am a Mom just trying to be the best example I can be to my girls by living the lessons I want to teach them. If someone can find inspiration in that, then I hope to connect with them so that we can champion motherhood together. 

Written on July 1, 2020 Related:guest post, Life, motherhood

Monsoon Ball Kolkata, India

New Country, New Friends – Pink by Ruchi

written by Parita 2 Comments

Ruchi is back!  And this time she’s sharing about her journey to making friends upon moving to India.

Personally, I love this post.  This is a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.  Maintaining old friendships and making new ones as an adult is just plain hard.  I plan to share my thoughts in a future post, but for now, I hope you enjoy reading about Ruchi’s experience.

* * * * *

Gee, I’m almost 30 years old, and I have to make a whole new set of friends, in a whole new country.  Should be interesting.

This is one of the first thoughts I had when I moved to Kolkata.  My automatic assumption was, ‘Okay, I can just become friends with Jai’s friends’ wives.’  Then, we realized, most of Jai’s childhood and high school friends had left Kolkata.  (In most cases, if you didn’t join your family business, you left for another city for more opportunities).  All right, let’s re-think that one.  Well, I guess it’ll just happen.

Think again.  Making friends is hard!  When you’re in school, it does just kinda happen.  You find people you have things in common with – through extracurricular activities, through social groups, sometimes your roommates, you know.

But, when you’re out of school, married and in another place, that’s where the challenges are.  First off, your priorities and obligations change.  In our case, we live in a joint family, so a lot of your free time is taken up there.  We also have to travel a lot for work, so when you’re actually in town, sometimes the last thing you wanna do is socialize and make an effort.  I know, if you want to meet new people, you have to step out of your comfort zone and try.  Our work environment is also very different from the States – we’re the bosses so no making friends there.

We both realized things needed to change.  We had to start making more of an effort and not being so uptight.  We also needed to break away from the house and, in turn, the family a bit more.

I had joined the Kolkata International Women’s Club but had barely made it to one meeting.  I finally decided to take part in a Bazaar showcasing small business owners.  Through this, I met a few ladies, and things started taking off from there.  Then, we attended our first annual Monsoon Ball and couldn’t wait for the next year where we’d be planning which table to be at.  I think it struck me (quite late in the game, but it did nevertheless) that friends were not just going to fall into my (our) lap.  No need to be desperate but small steps had to be taken.

Monsoon Ball Kolkata, India

Our first Monsoon Ball – fun times all around!

And, the same for Jai.  He started playing golf with friends of friends, and he joined a league where he barely knew anyone.  I guess these things come easier when you’re a little younger and not so wrapped up in work and life in general.

One more thing.  I also realized that we didn’t have to do everything as a couple.  It’s funny – in Atlanta, when we were dating, we had very independent lives.  Yes, we had some common friends, but we were very good about separating our time, too.  After moving here, I just wanted to be stuck to Jai because I didn’t know any better.  I was such a fish out of water.

Second point.  We both realized (even though we’ve said it many a time before), but quantity over quality.  We wanted to spend time with people who we could learn from, who we could be ourselves with, who we could potentially take a trip with, and just order a pizza and hang out on a Friday night.

And the final point.  We were hanging onto our American lives too much.  The food, the places, the friends, all of it.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  But, when you know this change/move in your life is pretty permanent, you have to start adapting to your new place, too.  Accepting all the parts that come along with that.  Yes, some of our friendships have suffered due to our move, but I also think that’s just the natural shift in life.  It gets harder and harder to stay in touch with time differences, families growing, jobs changing and responsibilities increasing.  But, this has also forced us to truly appreciate and cherish all the people in our lives, near and far.  Sorry, not trying to get mushy on you guys!

It’s tough dealing with so many changes, but it also makes you a stronger person, and I believe deeply in that.  I struggled with the friendship part at the beginning and still do sometimes, but I’m powering through and figuring things out day by day.

If you find yourself moving to a new place, try to embrace all your surroundings.  It’s daunting at first, but you’ll manage.  Join clubs, try to find 1 or 2 people you get along with and build a friendship with them, attend events you normally may not be inclined to, explore.

I’m definitely not an expert, but I’m happy with where I’m at and where I’ve come from in this little journey of mine.

As always, thanks for tuning in!  I’m leaving you all with 2 quotes I thought were quite appropriate for this post 🙂

Friendship quote

Friendship Quote

Thanks, Ruch!  As always, it’s so nice to read your thoughts and have you on MIS 🙂

Do you think it’s harder to make friends as an adult?  Any tips?

Written on March 23, 2016 Related:guest post, Pink By Ruchi

Pink by Ruchi – An Update

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Happy Friday, y’all!  We made it to the end of the week. 

I’m actually in Atlanta this weekend for my sister and Adarsh’s religious engagement ceremony.  YAY!  I plan to take lots of pics and look forward to sharing more on Monday! 

Until then, please welcome back my good friend Ruchi!  She’s back in India after her trip to the US and is sharing updates and glimpses into her current every day life!

Take it away, Ruch!

* * * * *

Hello, hello!  If you’d like to read a quick update (okay, it’s kinda long) on my trunk show that I posted about last time, feel free to head on over to my blog and see my before and after makeover pics as well.  It was so much fun!

I thought for today, I’d do something a little different.  Rather than talk a whole lot, I wanted to share pictures of my daily sights and happenings.  Apologies for the quality – they were taken on my phone while the car was moving, and I was a being a little bit of a creeper in others…

It’s so interesting to see such extremes in this country – it just goes to show how far we’ve come and how much farther we still have to go.  With that being said, here we GO!

menwork

I’m amazed every day at the way certain construction is still conducted here.  Those men are tying bamboo type rods together with rope while they stand unsupported and unprotected.

mall

And down the street, we’ve got this monstrosity of a mall with some of the best designer stores in the world.

momkid

Love it when I see a woman scootin’ around; not sure how I feel about the child seated in front with no belt or anything…

drivingtest

People waiting to take a driving test – I also had to do this, and if you think the DMV is bad, try again 🙂

desk

As you can see, Jai has taken over my desk area while I’ve been gone – time to clean!

teajalebi

mentea

The first is an older picture, but Jai and I are trying to do this more often – go to one of the best tea shops and have a nice cup of masala, saffron chai and a jalebi (basically fried dough dipped in syrup) first thing in the morning – um yes, it’s absolutely amazing!  The funniest part about this is that you’ll see men in their workout gear chomping down on samosas (more fried, savory goodness), chai, jalebi and much more – well, at least they’re treating themselves after a ‘hard’ workout – okay, okay, I’ll stop being mean and breaking my rule of not talking much!

construction

This is going to be our lives around town for the next few years – they’re building the metro – ‘nuff said.  AND, traffic is terrible these days because of this!

spidey

The pictures on buses and other public transport just crack me up!  Yup, that’s Spidey!

puja

And, I thought I’d end with this beautiful image – the way we do havans/pujas/prayers at home – this is right before we start – it evokes such amazing feelings, and when the fire is at its strongest – gives you chills!

Thanks so much for reading along – hope you enjoyed it!

* * * * *

Thanks for sharing your daily sights with us, Ruch!  Hope you’re settling back ok!

And have a wonderful weekend, everyone!  Thanks for reading. Smile

Written on September 25, 2015 Related:guest post, Pink By Ruchi

What They’ll Never Tell You

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Hi, y’all!  I hope you enjoyed Khushboo’s post.  And today, I have yet another fun guest post lined up.  Sig’s blog is an awesome read – every post is unique and special in it’s own way.  I love how she changes her writing style and varies the topics…definitely keeps me coming back for more.  Oh and did I mention that she’s hilarious?!  Well, you’re about to get a taste of that…

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hi everyone!

I’m honoured to be writing a guest post for you while Parita is away partying like the wild woman we all know she is at her girlfriend’s bachelorette party.

Trust me, she’ll need the break. I too, attended my friend’s hen’s night a week or so ago.

image

Whoa.

Too many marriage jokes, too much off-key singing while belting out Spice Girls and WAY too many shots.

Felt like crap the next day, but sometimes drinking vodka and lime out of a penis-shaped straw is exactly what you need.

With that lovely bit of information (and to not give you the idea that phallic shaped objects and me are always intimately acquainted), let me introduce myself properly.

Hi.

My name is Sugandha, otherwise affectionately known as Sig or Sugar and I blog over at Melbourne Maharani (http://siggysparkle.wordpress.com). I’m an almost-29 year old from Melbourne, Australia and love puppy dogs, healthy living and red wine (not necessarily in that order as well)

(Actually DEFINITELY not in that order. Red wine tops the list).

image

I’ve also been married for four years and together with my hunky husband Evs for almost eleven years.

In no way am I an expert in marriage, but I like to think I have a possibly-warped idea of a relationship and so I am going to share the top five things that NOBODY told me once the wedding was over. (Kind of like a spin-off on the wonderful marital advice that Parita received earlier)

I like to call this “How to Survive Your First Year of Marriage” (and other stories)

With Parita’s impending nuptials coming up and in the theme of wedding-related occasions, I thought I’d give her once last chance to think it over – especially since this will also be the first time she and Vishnu will be living together.

Oh the fun they will have 😛

If you have ever been married or even in a relationship, these might sound familiar to you, or then again, I might be weird, Evs might be weird and you might already be wondering how long exactly did Parita say she was going to be away again??

1. Have realistic expectations (or pick your battles)

This means that the age-old conundrum of leaving the toilet seat up or down versus to your daily TV viewing schedule to whose turn it is to cook dinner – the rules are different now. Choosing your options wisely may now mean being subjected to 3 hours straight of test cricket on TV to get the vacuuming done. And you know what – it’ll be worth it.

image

2. Communication is key (or mind-reading is a valuable skill)

Having an hour long conversation on the phone with your sister and expecting your spouse to not only have heard every word but also agree to the decisions made is apparently a no-no. So don’t get shitty at them if they look bewildered when you’re waiting ready to go and they’re still in their underwear.

3. Keep your independence (or don’t forget your friends. You’ll need them. )

So, I’m just going to put it out there. After the first few months (or if you’re lucky, years), the mattress mambo becomes a dance for special occasions. That’s why you need to remember your friends. Only even if to bitch about the lack of lovin’ over drinks. BUT – bonus – you now have a designated driver that can pick you up when you have had too many vodka and limes out of a penis-shaped straw which might get even you some action if you’re lucky (FYI – I wasn’t ).

image

4. Doing things together is fun! (and if crocheting or go-kart racing is your thing, DO it. And often)

You’re spending almost every waking hour with this other person. So you kinda want to enjoy time with them and you know, LIKE it. But if your other half suddenly gets a sudden interest in gardening or playing computer games for 10 hours straight or any other yawn-inducing activities, it’s totally ok to let them do it alone (See Lesson #3). But find your thing and have fun. Laugh together.

5. Love is a funny thing

Despite the 101 ways he irritates you or forgets to put your clothes away (after putting everything ELSE away) or still wears that shirt from 1993 just because he can still fit into it – they say marriage is a journey on an often tired and weary road. So it’s actually in the quiet moments when Evs and I are snuggled on the couch watching Glee (my choice) or Spartacus (also my choice), that I look over and feel my heart fill with a love like nothing else.

We chose each other on this journey and remembering the many, many memories we have made and will make, makes it all worth it.

image

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Sig!  You and Evs are so cute! 

What’s the one thing you struggled with during your first year of marriage?  And if you’re not married, what is the one thing you think you’ll have the hardest time compromising on?

Written on February 19, 2012 Related:Relationships, Wedding Planning

Welcome to My Inner Shakti! This is my little corner of the internet where I explore and share more about the things that give me my inner strength. I hope you stick around! Read More Here...
Subscribe to MIS

Sign up now to receive all the latest from My Inner Shakti straight to your inbox!

Follow me on Feedly!

follow us in feedly

LOVE my blog!

Follow on Bloglovin

categories

Archives

Top Posts!

  • An Honest Review of “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”
  • Reframing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
  • My Experience with Apple Cider Vinegar
  • How to Crisp Up a Tortilla
  • The State of My Skin + Drunk Elephant A-Passioni Retinol Cream
  • Weekend Recap - The One I Didn't Want to End
  • BIG News + Weekend Stuff
  • Friday Stuff - Big Feelings, Work Projects, Furniture, and the Weekend
  • New Skincare Products - Grape Seed Oil + Instanatural Skin Clearing Serum + Dove Bar Soap
  • Two Movie Recs - Knives Out and Glass Onion

Follow me on Instagram!

Copyright ©2023, My Inner Shakti. All Rights Reserved. Custom design by Pixel Me Designs