family Archives - My Inner Shakti

Family Dynamics + Social Media

I got an interesting email the other day from someone who’s a long time blog reader. Essentially her question was if my family is as close as we seem on social media.

The short answer is yes. But the longer answer is a bit more complicated than that.

So yes, we’re close. My sister and I were raised to be close…lol. My mom never let us forget that we are sisters and that we always have to be there for each other. And we’re super close to our parents too. In fact, we have a group chat with just the four of us that we use daily.

I’m also very close to my in laws. Since before we got married, they’ve truly treated me like a daughter.

I’m close to Vishnu’s brother and his wife, and he’s close to my sister and her husband. My sister and her husband have a great relationship with Vishnu’s brother and his wife. In fact, they hang out without us all the time!

BUT, that being said, things are not always harmonious. We are humans with human emotions and opinions and ideas. These things don’t always align with what everyone else is thinking and feeling. So, while we don’t have outright conflict and drama, things are not always happy-go-lucky.

My sister and I snap at each other. I get upset with my parents and/or get snappy. My parents don’t always react the way we want them to. Same goes for Vishnu’s family.

Again, we’re only human. Ha! The difference with us is that we don’t stay upset. Hence why you see my family so much on here and IG.

Important reminder – what you see on social media, on my blog/IG page, or anyone else’s is just a small glimpse into a much greater dynamic. You will NEVER entirely know what’s going on for someone or their family just by following them or checking in on their updates. No one does or can share it all.

So if your family doesn’t get along 100% of the time, congrats and welcome to the club! There are millions of families just like yours across the world.

My Thoughts on ‘The Maternal Grandparent Advantage’

written by Parita 4 Comments

I didn’t know ‘the maternal grandparent advantage’ even existed until I read this article back in April. It makes sense on so many levels. However, a lot depends on your family dynamic, your relationship with your parents and in-laws, their relationship with each other, etc.

Before I share my thoughts, let’s review what this advantage is exactly…

According to the articles I read, the advantage stems from the fact that daughters tend to have a closer relationship with their own parents which leaders to a warmer relationship between the kids and their maternal grandparents. Paternal grandparents, on the other hand, have to tread carefully.

Another element to this is that women are still responsible for ‘kinkeeping.’ This includes planning, calls, visits, sharing news and updates, holidays, etc. The wife is the gatekeeper to not only her own family but her husband’s as well.

Like I said, a lot of variables are at play here.

So here’s what I can relate to…

I do have more frequent contact with my parents, specifically my mom (we talk 1-2x/day). She’s my emotional support, my advice giver, etc. My go-to on a day to day basis essentially! We also have a family chat between my mom, dad, sister and I making it easy to just check-in and say hi.

While I have the best in-laws in the whole world (no bias here!), the bond I have with my parents is just unique and can’t be replicated. For example, my in-laws have treated me like a daughter since before Vishnu and I were married. No daughter-in-law business. That said, I’m still there daughter-in-law, and there’s a level of formality that will always be there versus the comfort I have with my own family.

There’s also this element, I think, of Vishnu’s parents having two boys versus my parents who have two girls. It basically boils down to different expectations and relationship dynamics.

That said, I am also the gatekeeper/kinkeeper in our family. If you know Vishnu at all, this will make total sense! Ha!

So yes, I see how the maternal grandparent advantage exists in some ways.

But here’s what I can’t relate to…

Regardless of your relationship with your in-laws, keeping your kids from them is wrong. The only exception being if they don’t treat them well. The way I see it, Kaiden is as much my parents’ grandson as he is my in-laws, and he should have a strong relationship with everyone.

I know it’s easy for me to say because I myself have a great relationship with Vishnu’s parents, our parents are close, etc. But even if I didn’t, I would find a way to put my feelings aside for Kaiden’s sake. Grandparents are such special people, and I wouldn’t want to take that away from him.

I would love to hear other thoughts on this topic because, like I said, it totally depends on your family dynamic. Leave a comment or email me if you’re more comfortable (myinnershakti@gmail.com).

Weekend Recap – Mom, RPM, Bears, etc.

written by Parita 2 Comments

Even though relaxing, low-key weekends are pretty much a thing of the past, I’m finding I equally enjoy the sleepless, crazy, and chaotic (and fun!) ones too. And this past one was certainly that!

FRIDAY

Friday included a trip to the dentist and the doctor (annual checkup) for me. Thankfully, everything looks good! However, I need to remember not to leave these appointments until the end of the year. I fasted until 11 am for my doctor’s visit. And that’s because I waited too long to schedule the appointment. I was ravenous to say the least.

My sister came over in the early afternoon to hang out with me, my dad, and K. Since she’s also loving (affiliate link ->) Barre3, we did an at home no equipment workout together. The best part was getting glimpses of Kaiden watching us from his bouncer. Who knew Barre3 could make one giggle so much!

Fast forward to the early evening, Adarsh, his friend Krishna, and my sister (she left for a volunteer event and came back) came over for dinner. I made Instant Pot pasta and chicken that turned out so-so. After thinking a little too hard about where I went wrong, I came to the conclusion that Trader Joe’s quinoa and brown rice pasta is not meant for the IP. In the past, I’ve used whole wheat/multi-grain…annnnd that is definitely the way to go. Lesson learned!

Anyways, the rest of the night included lots of back and forth with Kaiden who would fall asleep only to wake up 10-30 minutes later. Oy vey! We’re working on it…

My exhaustion is at it’s peak by about 8:30 pm, so you can imagine how our night ended. If not, I’ll tell you. I suggest watching an episode of Ozarks while I pump. I finish pumping (episode still going). I lay down on the couch despite Vishnu telling me to sit up (he knows me too well!). I fall fast asleep. #storyofmylife

SATURDAY

Saturday started with an early morning pumping session. Then when I heard Kaiden stirring, I brought him out and fed him before putting him back down. I decided to take a short nap on the couch while I waited for my mom’s call to tell my she landed. Best nap ever, I tell you!

My mom got to our place a little before nine and immediately took Kaiden into her arms. The next 12 hours were all about K and his Nani!

We did house things for the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon, since we had an extra pair of willing hands to help with K.

A little later in the afternoon, Vishnu and I headed out to run some errands and grab a late lunch. We made a pit stop at Nordstrom Rack before making our way to my beloved RPM. This was our first solo Vishnu and Par outing/date since Kaiden was born. And boy did we enjoy! Lots of yummy food and fun conversation…very rejuvenating! Thank goodness for grandparents. 🙂

Aekta, Adarsh, and our friend Mike came over for dinner (and to see my mom) later in the evening. I made my family famous nachos…my mom’s favorite.

Needless to say, I felt pretty exhausted by the end of the night. Once again, Kaiden didn’t go to sleep without a fight! And while he woke up a few times throughout the night, it didn’t take too much to put him back down. Phew.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning started much like Saturday – pump, feed K, etc. It also included a trip to Trader Joe’s.

The most exciting part of Sunday was the Chicago Bears game Vishnu, Adarsh and I went to! Aek and Adu got Vishnu tickets for his birthday, and while they were at it, Adarsh decided to get himself a ticket too (my sister had to work). Our seats were absolutely amazing, the weather was gorgeous and relatively warm, HOWEVER the Bears lost. I’m not necessarily a Bears fan, but we all wanted a W.

Other than that, our Sunday was all about K and trying to get him to go to sleep on time…and stay asleep! 🙂

Weekend at Home + Holiday Vacay (!!!)

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Weekends spent at home (in Atlanta) with family are some of my favorites. The pampering, the food, the lack of responsibility (even if only for a few days)…I love it all! And this past weekend was no different.

I flew into Atlanta on Wednesday evening, worked from home on Thursday, took Friday off, and then spent my last night at Vishnu’s house. While it was a super quick trip, I feel like I did a lot.

First of all (and most importantly), I ate a lot of my mom’s delicious food. Nothing like momma’s home cooking.

I got a much needed pedicure. MUCH NEEDED.

My mom and I went shopping and did some damage at the Banana Republic Factory Outlet. I also bought a cute pair of booties at Target.

I spent good quality time with my parents. They’re likely not going to like that I posted this picture, but I love it so much. Cuties!

I played with my BIL’s girlfriend’s dog…Little Bum Bums (that’s her name!). You guys, I’m not a dog person at all, but this little thing stole my heart when I first met her a couple of years ago and still has a strong grip on it. She’s THE cutest! In fact, whenever we spend time with her, I’m almost tempted to get one for myself. Almost.

We spent time at Vishnu’s house with his family – talking, eating, laughing, and planning our trip to HAWAII!!!! It’s official…tickets are booked! So. Freaking. Excited. More to come!

And now it’s Monday, and we’re back to reality! Here’s to a good week ahead. 🙂

Thousands of Miles Apart But Always Connected

written by Parita 18 Comments

Even after five years of blogging, something you may not know about me is that I’m very close to my maternal grandparents. Like BFF close. In fact, I’m pretty sure at the age of six I proudly declared that my grandmother was my best friend.

The connection that I (and to be fair my sister and cousins as well) have with my grandparents is a little strange because we didn’t grow up with them living right around the corner. When we went to grandma’s house, we had to board a plane and fly to the other side of the world.

I still remember the excitement that filled my heart when our car dropped us off in front of their home. My grandparents would be waiting for us at the top of the stairs with huge smiles on their faces. We would spend the next few weeks eating delicious homemade meals, practicing our English skills (them not me!) by trying to say ridiculous words like refrigerator and spaghetti, and creating a lifetime of memories. Most of my favorite childhood moments include my ba and dada (grandmother and grandfather) in some shape or form.

Something else I’ll never forget is the look of pride on their faces when I got married. They were seated in the front row, and I remember catching my grandmother’s eye and smiling at her. She smiled back with tears in her eyes. Then when it was time for my vidai (farewell), we all cried a lot. But it was my grandfather who did so the most. I’m pretty sure his sadness that day was felt by every guest.

Despite the thousands of miles between us, the bond we share is still extremely strong. This may be because I was their first grandchild or because we visited India semi-frequently growing up and vice versa with them coming to the US or because I speak to them on the phone once a week. Thankfully, they still have their trusty landline connected and ready for our catch-up calls where we talk about work, life, and anything exciting happening in the gam (village)!

And that’s where XFINITY® Voice Unlimited comes in handy. It makes it easy for people to stay in touch with their landline using grandparents from anywhere, on-the-go using the XFINITY Connect app. In this day and age, where convenience is key, it’s great that this plan is available and simple to use. But more than anything, it enables grandchildren like me to close the gap (so to speak) with the special people in their lives who may not be around the corner or just up the road.

If you want to learn more and test the product for yourself, be sure to visit one of the two activation centers. The locations and dates include Bharat Bazar in Fremont, CA from 2/29-3/3 and Great Mall in Milpitas, CA from 3/4-3/6. Both centers will be open from 5 pm – 8 pm.

This post is part of a sponsored campaign on behalf of the South Asian Bloggers Network for Comcast XFINITY. I have received compensation for this post. All opinions are my own.

Memory Lane

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Hello hello! I can’t believe its already Sunday. Wasn’t it just Friday like 2 seconds ago?! I hope y’all had a great weekend. My weekend actually ended up taking me down memory lane…in two different ways.

I’ll start with Saturday first. I drove down to Rhode Island for the day to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousins. They still live in the same city I grew up in. As I was driving to their house, I passed so many places that reminded me of my childhood – my dad’s old company, the park where I played baseball for eight summers, the ice cream shoppe my dad would take my sister and I to for milkshakes called Awful Awfuls (Awful big, Awful good), and my childhood best friend’s old house where I spent many of my afterschool days hanging out.

My aunt had prepared an Indian feast for me, and let me tell you, I ate to my heart’s content. 🙂 After lunch, my cousin and I left to drive around town so he could show me a few other places. Our first stop was our elementary school. I could feel myself getting emotional as I thought about recess, field trips, wall ball, hopscotch, music class, spelling bees, etc. Where does the time go?!

Next, we drove by my preschool and my middle school. We also drove by my old house. For some reason, I didn’t feel any sort of sadness when I saw it. I guess it’s because the new owners changed so much of it… it looked nothing like the house I grew up in. We also drove around Providence for a bit. I wanted to check out Brown’s campus – it’s beautiful! Unfortunately, there was absolutely no parking anywhere, so I didn’t get to snap as many pictures as I wanted.

I hope to take more trips to RI over the next few months. It was so nice to catch up with family and see all the places that made my childhood so great.

*********

I took another trip down memory lane today, except this one had to do with blogging and my first blogger meet-up! Alexa and I met up for lunch at New Ginza in Watertown for some sushi. Alexa’s blog was one of the first that I found after I started my own. She told me today that I was her first commenter! I love her blog because it’s a fun read, full of easy-to-follow recipes, and after meeting her today, I can say with certainty that each of her posts is a true reflection of who she is. Our conversation was full of fun topics – why/when we started blogging, favorite blogs, family, boyfriends, friends, work, etc. It was actually really cool how much we already knew about one another without never having met before. I admitted to her that I was a little bit nervous about today because I just didn’t know what to expect. She admitted the same and likened our meet-up to a blind blogger date. LOL! I hope to meet up with her again…we already discussed the possibility of Red Lentil!

Two hungry bloggers!

Twice in one weekend - lucky me! And this sushi was really unique - one roll was a sweet potato maki and the other was an avocado, cream cheese, carrot, and tofu skin roll. SO GOOD!

I’m so thankful to the blog world for introducing me to Alexa and all of you!!! 🙂

Have a great Sunday evening…see ya lata alligatas!!

Family Dynamics + Social Media

My Thoughts on ‘The Maternal Grandparent Advantage’

Weekend Recap – Mom, RPM, Bears, etc.

Weekend at Home + Holiday Vacay (!!!)

Thousands of Miles Apart But Always Connected

Memory Lane

categories

Archives

Top Posts!

Follow me on Instagram!