My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Kaiden Starts Preschool!

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I shared on my IG page that Kaiden started back at school (PRESCHOOL!) this past Monday, and I just have to say that I love my little community…so much support and love for that little announcement.

I thought I would share a little more detail behind our thinking for sending him back, what his school is doing to minimize risk, how K is doing, how I’m doing etc. because while not everyone is in our same boat, I think reading/hearing other people’s perspective, especially in a situation like this, is helpful.

Our thinking behind sending K back

So the plan was always to send Kaiden back when Vishnu started fellowship, if school was open and if we were comfortable with the situation here in Chicago. This would’ve been on July 6th had we stuck to our original plan.

We opted to send him back two weeks sooner for a few different reasons. One, you guys, Kaiden was so bored at home and getting super restless. Vishnu spent one morning with him and was like, “Par, he has to go back sooner than later.” So we talked and decided this past Monday was a good time to start back.

Two, my work day can be VERY call heavy. Some days, I have up to 6 hours of calls. Juggling that, with work that needs to get down after my calls, plus Kaiden is A LOT. I’ve been able to manage the past few months because Vishnu’s been home more. But once he starts fellowship on July 1st, I’m on my own for the entire day plus some.

Three, our school has been very proactive with everything and ensuring proper protocol was in place before they opened. That gave us a lot of comfort in our decision (for now).

And four, Kaiden thrives when he has some structure, and as much as I want to provide him that at home, it’s impossible given how much my work schedule varies. And the opportunities he gets to socialize, learn and develop at school just aren’t possible at home right now.

New protocols at school

As happy as I am that our school is super strict about their operations now, it also makes me sad that things won’t go back to the way they were any time soon.

Anyways, in terms of new protocols, let’s start with drop off. No more stroller storage. Only one parents (with mask) allowed in the school lobby for drop off. Only two families in the lobby at a time (6 ft. apart of course). Temperature checks for child and parent. Hand sanitizer for child and parent. Teacher takes child to classroom (I haven’t even seen Kaiden’s new room yet!).

In terms of the day to day – trying to get kids to wear masks when possible. Kids are kept apart as much as possible (for example, when sitting for story time, they are spread out on the rug versus right next to each other). Lots of handwashing. Lots of outside time. No mixing of teachers and kids between classrooms. All teachers and administrators wear masks 100% of the time. No outside teachers/class – so music, Spanish, and yoga is virtually done. Reduced hours (used to be 7a-6:30p, now 8a-5p)

Then for pickup – only one parent again (with mask). And a quick departure!

How Kaiden is doing

Ok, so Monday was ok until I gave him a hug goodbye. That’s when he started screaming, “I just want to go home.” His teacher was right there and whisked him away very quickly. I called later in the day to see how he was doing and was told he only cried for 5 minutes. At pickup that day, he was all smiles and a chatty Cathy!

On Tuesday, he started crying the minute we stepped out of our apartment and didn’t really stop. Again, they told me he calmed down pretty quickly. And like clockwork, Mr. K was super happy at pickup. We went to the park after school and looked for helicopters and sticks. He didn’t stop talking the whole time;

That brings me to day 3 (yesterday). He cried a little at home an hour before we had to leave, but I told him we weren’t going anywhere yet, so he calmed down quickly. And then, like I had been since last Friday, I talked about how brave and strong he is. And how it’s ok to miss mama and dada, but just like every other day, I would be there to pick him up in a few hours. I then talked the whole way to daycare and played little games to distract him. We let him bring Mr. Elephant given I would have to bring him back home. HE DIDN’T SHED A SINGLE TEAR! Something I said must’ve stuck because he was so strong and brave! So very proud of my little guy! And pickup was again a cinch.

So while Kaiden is super happy when I pick him up and very chatty, he still has random meltdowns once we’re home. He is almost 3 after all!

Overall, I think it was a good decision to send him back because, like I said, he’s like me and thrives with a bit structure like me!

How mama is doing

When Vishnu fist mentioned sending K back 2 weeks early, I broke down and cried. I wasn’t against the idea…it just caught me off guard. I had July 6 in my mind and was planning towards that.

I was honestly fine with everything (day before, morning of, drop off) until we came home that first morning to a Kaiden-less apartment. I sobbed for 5 minutes before getting to work. I definitely watched videos of Kaiden whenever I could and eagerly waited for updates from the school. I did my best to keep my mind off the fact that he wasn’t home with us. But I couldn’t help but look back at the couch imagining him sitting there talking to me or asking me for more milk! Overall, I did better than I thought I would!

The next two days were honestly fine. I still miss him obviously, but my main focus is to help him transition and bringing my emotion into it won’t help…it’ll only make him more nervous.

With that, I will say that I have this voice in my head telling me to not get comfortable with our new routine. Things could change at any time. So per my mama mantra, I’m taking things one day at a time and hoping for the best – for the teachers, for the parents, and especially for the students!

If you have any questions, leave them in the comment box or message me at myinnershakti@gmail.com. Happy to share more!

Why We Chose to Send Our Son to Daycare

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Since starting Kaiden in daycare at 6 months old, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why we went down that path, why we didn’t go with a nanny, how we survived the daycare germs, etc.

It’s been 1.5 years since that time, so I thought I’d share our experience and insights for anyone who also ‘struggled’ with the question of which childcare option to choose.

NOTE: I’m starting and ending this post with the same sentiment – this is not a daycare vs. all other childcare options post. This is simply about our experiences to date!

The Beginning

When Vishnu and I moved to Chicago in June 2016, we weren’t pregnant, and although we were trying, childcare honestly wasn’t something we were thinking about at the time.  So when it came time to choose a place to live, we picked the building we did for lots of different reasons but not because there was a good daycare nearby.  

Fast forward to three months into my pregnancy.  We went to visit my friend Erin and her new baby at the time.  Vishnu and her husband were chatting when Shahan asked V about our childcare plans.  He mentioned that the city daycares have waiting lists (sometimes a year or longer). On our way home, Vishnu told me about this convo and how we needed to get on it quickly.  

Within a week, we had appointments at all the daycares in area.  Luckily, the one we absolutely loved had an opening for January 2018 in the young infant room.  AND it ended up being the closest option in terms of proximity to our apartment. 

Why Not a Nanny

So K’s school is four blocks from where we live.  It’s on the way to both the train for Vishnu and downtown for me.  We are VERY lucky that we can just walk him there so easily. 

We honestly didn’t consider a nanny because (at the time) we didn’t feel comfortable leaving K home with someone who would essentially be a total stranger.  Of course, we know get that you interview people and all that, but at the time, it wasn’t something we wanted to do given the school was so close to us.  Vishnu was also really adamant about daycare for the social aspect.  We wanted K to be around other kids from a younger age. K’s school also does music class, yoga and lots of other fun learning activities.  Not all nanny’s are former educators, so we definitely took this into consideration. We also loved the fact that K could attend the same school all the way to pre-K if needed.  

And finally, from a logistical standpoint, we live in a small apartment, where my ‘office’ is a small corner between the kitchen and the living area.  I work from home a lot.  If we had a nanny, I would have to go to the office every day or find another workspace.  Vishnu’s schedule also varies sometimes.  So given the lack of consistency, daycare felt like a good choice for us.

Surviving the Daycare Germs

When I talk to friends who are considering putting their kid in daycare, the first question that inevitably comes up is, “Are the germs that bad?”  I’m here to tell you that they are in fact HORRIBLE!

Not to scare anyone, but within the first week of Kaiden starting school, he had a nasty stomach bug that literally took me and Vishnu down too.

Let’s put it this way.  2018 was hell in terms of K being sick. We (sometimes it really was the collective we) experienced everything from colds to stomach bugs to hand foot mouth to Roseola to ear infections to random fevers.  

BUT…the plus side to all of that is K’s immune systems is definitely stronger now.  2019 has been pretty good to us so far.  He’s only had two random fevers that went away in a couple of days.  He’s also had a runny nose here and there but that too goes away fairly quickly.  

From what I’ve been told (by other daycare parents) is that while the first 12-18 months are rough, your kids are so much less likely to get sick when they enter pre-K and beyond. FINGERS CROSSED!

The bottom line is if you put your kid in daycare expect them to be sick for a while.  And once you’re past that, relish in it!

Daycare Costs

Daycare, especially where we send K, is expensive.  It’s essentially rent 2.0 for us.  However, this is the place we wanted, so we sucked it up.

In terms of the comparison between a nanny and daycare, daycare still works out to be cheaper in Chicago, even when using the lowest hourly rate.  

What I Would Have Done Differently Knowing What I Know Now

Well, for starters, I wish I could’ve taken off a whole year to be with K.  But that wasn’t possible.  I got 16 weeks of maternity leave and then my dad came to watch K for a couple of months to close the gap.  My dad did offer to stay with us until Kaiden turned one, but we told him it was ok.  I didn’t want to take him away from my mom for so long!

I don’t know what Vishnu would say, but in all honesty, I wish we had waited until K was one to start daycare.  Looking back, six months feels a little too young.  But we did what we did with the information and knowledge we had on hand at the time.  #noregrets

How Kaiden is Doing in Daycare Now

Kaiden adjusted quite well to daycare from the beginning.  The only time he has trouble is when he transitions to a new classroom.  Other than that, he loves school.  Right now, I think yoga Tuesday is his favorite.  

I think you’ll hear this from a lot of daycare parents, but kids are so different when they’re there versus at home.  K eats the majority of his food at school (even things he won’t touch at home).  He naps for the full two hours, which as you guys know, is hit or miss at home.  It’s honestly great!

Well, I think that covers the question of why we chose to send K to daycare.  Like I said, this was not meant to be a daycare vs. all other options type of posts. I do think it gets a bad rep sometimes, so I want to give parents-to-be and new parents some sense of relief that you’re not bad parents for sending your kid to daycare!  Any option that works for you and your child is a GREAT ONE! 

If I missed anything or if you have any additional questions, leave a comment below or send me an email!

Daycare cubbie baby boy

Baby’s First Day of Daycare

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Of all the things I’ve had to do thus far as a mom, dropping Kaiden off for his first day of daycare was one of the hardest.

I kept it together all weekend, and then on Sunday night, as I watched Oprah give her powerful and inspiring speech (not sure why it set me off…all the emotions I suppose), I lost it.  As I sobbed and sobbed, I thought about how in less than 12 hours, I would have to bundle K up and drop him off to a new/strange (to him) place for 8+ hours.  And then I thought about how I would work from home for those hours.  Without Kaiden’s presence.  This would be my first time at home without him.  So yeah, I was a hot mess!

Thank goodness Vishnu was sitting next to me.  He reassured me that daycare would be great for K, and that we need to give it time, etc.  He also said something else that really resonated –> this is K’s first experience in the “real” world, and it’s only going to help him grow…it’s a joyous occasion and we shouldn’t take that away from him.

When did my husband get so smart?!

I’m happy to report that I kept it together in the morning.  I repeated “you can do hard things” until I believed it/walked into the classroom.

I’ll share our morning routine with daycare in the mix a bit later, but essentially, Kaiden woke up, Vishnu changed him, I fed him, and then we put him back down for another 30 minutes.  Because our timing wasn’t 100% on point, I ended up having to wake K up from his nap to get him ready.  But like the trooper that he is, he took it in stride.

Once we were both ready to go, I bundled him up in his stroller for the walk over to his daycare (5 minutes).  The teacher in the room gave me a mini day of orientation and showed me where/how to sign in, where to put his food, where he would sleep, etc.  The next teacher walked in the door a few minutes after us, and Kaiden immediately took to her.  When I was ready, I handed him over to her and he never looked back.  My big boy!

Daycare cubbie baby boy

I would be lying if I said I left on a completely happy note.  While I was happy he transitioned ok, I couldn’t help but tear up on my walk home and then sob as I entered our apartment.  I let myself cry for a few minutes before giving myself a pep talk much like the one V gave me the night before.  And then I was fine!

What really helped (and what I appreciate about our daycare) are all the updates and pictures Vishnu and I received throughout the day.  He ate, played, and slept (kinda!) his way through the day.  #proudmama

All I want to do when we get home is cuddle, which we will, but we’ll also play a little, eat some oatmeal + bananas + peanut butter, and take a bath before going down for the night.

My big lesson learned – I can do hard things and so can K!  You just have to give it some time and hope/pray for the best. 🙂

On to day 2…

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