My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Kaiden Starts Preschool!

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I shared on my IG page that Kaiden started back at school (PRESCHOOL!) this past Monday, and I just have to say that I love my little community…so much support and love for that little announcement.

I thought I would share a little more detail behind our thinking for sending him back, what his school is doing to minimize risk, how K is doing, how I’m doing etc. because while not everyone is in our same boat, I think reading/hearing other people’s perspective, especially in a situation like this, is helpful.

Our thinking behind sending K back

So the plan was always to send Kaiden back when Vishnu started fellowship, if school was open and if we were comfortable with the situation here in Chicago. This would’ve been on July 6th had we stuck to our original plan.

We opted to send him back two weeks sooner for a few different reasons. One, you guys, Kaiden was so bored at home and getting super restless. Vishnu spent one morning with him and was like, “Par, he has to go back sooner than later.” So we talked and decided this past Monday was a good time to start back.

Two, my work day can be VERY call heavy. Some days, I have up to 6 hours of calls. Juggling that, with work that needs to get down after my calls, plus Kaiden is A LOT. I’ve been able to manage the past few months because Vishnu’s been home more. But once he starts fellowship on July 1st, I’m on my own for the entire day plus some.

Three, our school has been very proactive with everything and ensuring proper protocol was in place before they opened. That gave us a lot of comfort in our decision (for now).

And four, Kaiden thrives when he has some structure, and as much as I want to provide him that at home, it’s impossible given how much my work schedule varies. And the opportunities he gets to socialize, learn and develop at school just aren’t possible at home right now.

New protocols at school

As happy as I am that our school is super strict about their operations now, it also makes me sad that things won’t go back to the way they were any time soon.

Anyways, in terms of new protocols, let’s start with drop off. No more stroller storage. Only one parents (with mask) allowed in the school lobby for drop off. Only two families in the lobby at a time (6 ft. apart of course). Temperature checks for child and parent. Hand sanitizer for child and parent. Teacher takes child to classroom (I haven’t even seen Kaiden’s new room yet!).

In terms of the day to day – trying to get kids to wear masks when possible. Kids are kept apart as much as possible (for example, when sitting for story time, they are spread out on the rug versus right next to each other). Lots of handwashing. Lots of outside time. No mixing of teachers and kids between classrooms. All teachers and administrators wear masks 100% of the time. No outside teachers/class – so music, Spanish, and yoga is virtually done. Reduced hours (used to be 7a-6:30p, now 8a-5p)

Then for pickup – only one parent again (with mask). And a quick departure!

How Kaiden is doing

Ok, so Monday was ok until I gave him a hug goodbye. That’s when he started screaming, “I just want to go home.” His teacher was right there and whisked him away very quickly. I called later in the day to see how he was doing and was told he only cried for 5 minutes. At pickup that day, he was all smiles and a chatty Cathy!

On Tuesday, he started crying the minute we stepped out of our apartment and didn’t really stop. Again, they told me he calmed down pretty quickly. And like clockwork, Mr. K was super happy at pickup. We went to the park after school and looked for helicopters and sticks. He didn’t stop talking the whole time;

That brings me to day 3 (yesterday). He cried a little at home an hour before we had to leave, but I told him we weren’t going anywhere yet, so he calmed down quickly. And then, like I had been since last Friday, I talked about how brave and strong he is. And how it’s ok to miss mama and dada, but just like every other day, I would be there to pick him up in a few hours. I then talked the whole way to daycare and played little games to distract him. We let him bring Mr. Elephant given I would have to bring him back home. HE DIDN’T SHED A SINGLE TEAR! Something I said must’ve stuck because he was so strong and brave! So very proud of my little guy! And pickup was again a cinch.

So while Kaiden is super happy when I pick him up and very chatty, he still has random meltdowns once we’re home. He is almost 3 after all!

Overall, I think it was a good decision to send him back because, like I said, he’s like me and thrives with a bit structure like me!

How mama is doing

When Vishnu fist mentioned sending K back 2 weeks early, I broke down and cried. I wasn’t against the idea…it just caught me off guard. I had July 6 in my mind and was planning towards that.

I was honestly fine with everything (day before, morning of, drop off) until we came home that first morning to a Kaiden-less apartment. I sobbed for 5 minutes before getting to work. I definitely watched videos of Kaiden whenever I could and eagerly waited for updates from the school. I did my best to keep my mind off the fact that he wasn’t home with us. But I couldn’t help but look back at the couch imagining him sitting there talking to me or asking me for more milk! Overall, I did better than I thought I would!

The next two days were honestly fine. I still miss him obviously, but my main focus is to help him transition and bringing my emotion into it won’t help…it’ll only make him more nervous.

With that, I will say that I have this voice in my head telling me to not get comfortable with our new routine. Things could change at any time. So per my mama mantra, I’m taking things one day at a time and hoping for the best – for the teachers, for the parents, and especially for the students!

If you have any questions, leave them in the comment box or message me at myinnershakti@gmail.com. Happy to share more!

Covid-19: Finding Balance for Working Families

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As I mentioned on Instagram last week, I led a webinar at work for working families. My team, as a whole, is running a series of webinars for our organisation to help people cope with this crisis and feel less alone.

The content of our webinar was pretty good, but I couldn’t have guessed how much it would resonate with people. We have requests to do more calls because people really need and want the support.

I figured it would be good to share this information on the blog as well, since so many of you are working parents who are now working from home with your kids. And honestly speaking, I think some of this information applies to parents who aren’t working from home (for a company) but just at home with their kids.

Hope you find something useful for your situation. Here we go…

What I want to share today are the top tips we discussed as a group. Of course, these are just a few of many, but these resonated with us as working parents.

Work Life

Don’t expect to work at your normal capacity – I read in an article that said, “Take the to-do list you had for today and cut it in half, then cut it in half again,”  That made me laugh! Everyone is going to be less productive during this time. Being proactive with your manager and co-workers and setting realistic expectations about what you can accomplish is necessary to prevent misunderstandings down the line.

Open and ongoing conversations – It’s not always easy to talk to your boss or colleagues in an open way about your family, especially when that means you will be working odd hours and may not deliver things during the traditional time. Regardless, it’s important to have these conversations and to be transparent when doing so. You team needs to understand what you’re facing right now. That’s the only way they will know what to expect and how to support you.

Agree on how and when you will communicate – Where possible, establish a schedule with your availability and put it in your work calendar. This will provide clarity for your team. Try to keep your out-of-office up to date as well. The more you can share, the better.  Establish with your manager the frequency with which you will both communicate as well as the format that will work best (email, calls, etc). 

Align your priorities – Your business priorities may have shifted. Establish what your new priorities are and get buy-in from your line manager.  And where possible, work with your manager to establish achievable timelines for your new priorities. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE – And most importantly, please remember that you are not alone at this time.  There are millions of people just like you who are trying to work, raise kids, and survive this virus. If you ever feel alone and don’t know where to turn, shoot me an email (myinnershakti@gmail.com). I’m always here!

Home + Kid Life

Self care – Harvard Business Review published an article in March where the author responsible for popularising the grief cycle explains how the ‘discomfort you are feeling’ right now is grief. This brings a range of emotions: grief over things that have changed or fear over what we may lose, along with anxiety, frustration, anger, bewilderment, sadness. With that being said, it’s important that we put on our own oxygen masks first, regardless of whether that’s before our kids or our colleagues. Taking care of yourself is key at a time like this.

Prioritize your schedule – Think through your most important tasks every day (2-3 at most) and figure out how to build your day around those.  Maybe that involves shift work with your partner, maybe it’s TV time, maybe it’s setting up activities the night before so your kids are occupied in the morning or whenever your important calls are.  This will look different for each of us, but it’s important to prioritize on a daily basis for both work as well as your home life and structure your day around those key things.

Protect your family life – If you live with a partner, try to ensure you are taking a fair share. Fair doesn’t necessarily mean the same or equal. But it is a balance that is fair for each of you given your individual responsibilities, pressures, and strengths. Also, make sure each parent has a share of the easier/more fun aspects of family life.  Put a plan together but be prepared to flex and/or rewrite it. Consider a quick family meeting each night to work out what’s happening the next day. Find time to talk through what worked/what didn’t work.

Define your temporary parenting principles – Maybe this is related to screen time and how much your kids get now versus how much time you allocated previously; maybe this means more frozen foods now whereas before your kids were eating fresh fruit and veggies; maybe this means more ice cream; or maybe a movie night three times a week.  These are unprecedented times, and temporarily changing your parenting principles/approach is OK and sometimes necessary for all parties!

Distance learning is a challenge for everyone – We’re not teachers.  We didn’t go to school for this. In fact, we had no time to prepare for this monumental shift. So instead of stressing out yourself and your kids, try to incorporate learning into everyday tasks and be more of an educational buddy.  This is more about survival than teaching the ABCs or times table.

The stories and anecdotes that were shared were awesome too. I honestly related to everything everyone said.

The bottom line is that we’re lucky to still have our jobs, but this is still hard. There’s lots of guilt, frustration, etc. But in the same breath, we’re lucky to be home with our babies – safe and sound.

I’ll share more of my insights and thoughts as we continue with more webinars and life at home with our kids…while trying to work. Ay ay ay!

Please stay at home, people. This virus is not pretty and we all need to do our part to keep everyone safe.

My Advice for Mamas Going On or Returning From Maternity Leave

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I was asked to be part of an International Women’s Day panel this week. There were a total of six women on the panel representing different aspects working womanhood. It was an incredible experience, and I got great feedback from various people, both men and women, about the format and diversity of voices that were shared.

I shared my Q&A on my stories but was asked to post it on the blog because it was too hard to read (sorry!). So here it is – my advice for mamas going on or returning from maternity leave…

Question: Parita, you’ve been on maternity leave while working at XXX. What advice would you give someone else who is about to go on or return from maternity leave? 

Answer: So my answer is three-fold.  But before I talk about that, I just want to say it’s important to acknowledge that the person who leaves the office on day 1 of maternity leave is not the same person who returns on day X.  What you need and want from your job and organization will change because you’ve just started the ultimate job of being someone’s mom.  This isn’t something I thought too much about before my leave, but I think it’s important to understand and acknowledge this.

With that being said, the first thing I would tell someone who is about to go on maternity leave or about to return back to work, is to think through what it is you now need.  Do your hours still work for you?  Do you need some flexibility to work from home?  Can you still travel?  Think through the role you left and figure out what elements still work for you and which ones need to change. 

From there, come up with a plan.  One that focuses on you as well as your team.  Think through how the things you need will impact everyone else and how you can mitigate that to whatever degree.  Think through any other challenges and barriers, any potential benefits, etc.

Once you have your plan mapped out, put it in writing and talk to you manager about putting it in action.  For example, I knew I needed/wanted Fridays off when I returned from leave so I put pen to paper and submitted a request to be on a 4/10 schedule.  I’m flexible to work on Fridays and my team knows that, and it works for us.

The thing is that no one knows what you need or want but you, and this really goes to everyone, not just working moms.  You have to ask for what you want because, trust me, no one cares or thinks about you as much as you do.  And at the end of the day, the worst thing anyone can say is no.  And if that’s the case, the ball’s back in your court to figure out your next steps.

*And yes, I am that person who types out her response word for word. But I do that because I don’t want to veer to far from the question and because I want to make sure I cover everything.

Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Ruchika Sanyal

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Hey-lo! I’m back with another Diary of a Working Mom Q&A! And this one is by someone I really admire and respect, Ruchika Sanyal. Ruchika is a working mama to two cutie pies and someone who shares her passion around meditation and mindful living on Instagram. In fact, that’s how we connected!

I highly recommend following Ruchika on Instagram. She shares the most rich information. I always leave her page with a smile on my face and new insights to help me be a better parent and person.

With that, let’s chat with Ruchika about all things motherhood…

Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages. 
I live in New Jersey and have two daughters, a 4 1/2 year old and a 4 month old. My husband and I will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this year. Both of us were born and raised in India and moved to New Jersey about 15 years ago. For the past 1 1/2 years though, he’s been living in Michigan for work, so I’ve been solo parenting for the most part, and called in reinforcements in the form of my mom and/or hired help many times! 

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc. 
I’m a business technologist and work in a large financial services firm in Manhattan. More specifically, I’m a product owner responsible for managing various software, processes and tools to reduce the firm’s information security risk. I’ve been with this company 12 years and have loved everything about it, including the opportunities and flexibility it provides me. I find my job challenging and fast paced – there’s never a dull day really! 

3. Walk me through a day in your life. 
My day typically begins at 6am – I usually wake up and say the words “Jai Gurudev” which means victory to the Big Mind (as against the small mind which bickers, complains and feels stuck) – this sets the tone and intention for the day. My life these days is governed by my pumping schedule, so the first thing I usually do is pump; if both kiddos are still asleep, I get in my morning meditation during this time. I have a babysitter who gets my older daughter ready for school and drops her off; we’ve had this arrangement for more than 3 years now because my commute into the city is 1 hour 15 min, so dropping off my older one to daycare was not feasible for us. And more recently, after baby #2, we have hired a live-in nanny to help me due to the solo parenting situation. It’s true that it takes a village and I’m not afraid to admit I have help because that’s how we make things work for us. So the kids are in the hands of the nannies in the morning while I get ready. I’m out the door between 7:15am-7:30am, usually listening to the radio or podcasts, catching up with family or just letting my mind wander during my commute! At work, I typically have back to back meetings all morning. These days I step away from my desk at around noon to pump in the lactation room, in the past I used to just end up eating at my desk and working through lunch. In the afternoons, I like to block my calendar to catch up on emails, presentations etc, and do “deep/thinking work” a couple of times a week. If I don’t block it, the time gets eaten up by meetings! It doesn’t always work though but it’s good to have it. I leave work between 4:45pm-5pm, pick up my older one from daycare by 6pm; back home, we both spend a few minutes playing with the baby, then she eats dinner while I bathe and change the baby. We then catch about 10 minutes of bedtime reading together before both girls fall asleep, usually between 7:45pm to 8:15pm on most nights. I then have my dinner and do another pump, then prep for the next day – lunch prep, pump parts prep (!), clothes prep etc. Usually between 9pm and 10:30pm, I catch up on my to-do list, Instagram e.t.c , then one more pump before I go to bed! Boy, I’m going to be glad when my pumping journey comes to an end! 🙂 One caveat in this whole thing though – I’ve learnt from the first time around that there’s no such thing as routine with an infant around! So yes, our days can be vastly different and look nothing like the above many times – but we roll with the punches and do our best! 

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work? 
One significant change that I think has come about in the way I handle my work after becoming a mother is that I ruthlessly prioritize and have become much more comfortable with delegating work. In the past, I’ve been hesitant to delegate but now I realize two things – I need to trust my team to do their best, and that delegating actually helps me clear mind and time space for more strategic work. So it’s been good for me to grow into a more leadership role!  

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life? 
It’s all about looking at the long game. I think of it in weekly chunks, not on a daily basis – some days of the week the focus will be more on the job, and other days it will be more on the family/volunteering (e.g. doc visits, Instagram etc.). If it evens out at the end of the week (or two!), it’s all good. 

6. How do you handle mom guilt? 
This is a huge topic to unpack but I’ll speak to one specific thing – the guilt that comes from taking help because of the myth of the superwoman who “does it all”. However, I have recently come to realize that if I were asking for help at work, it would be seen as team work. So why not treat motherhood the same way – as teamwork with the trusted people around you, and there’s no reason to be guilty about that. Hire the right people, delegate and give them credit – just like at work!

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding? 
The surprising bit – how many people will understand your time constraints and need to look after your family on some days as long as you communicate it well. The rewarding bit – knowing that my daughters will grow up seeing all sides of my personality and identity. 

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
Me” time has been hard to come by lately, so I’ve been using my pump sessions as me time nowadays! During this time, I meditate if it’s quiet, listen to podcasts, write Insta posts, chat with family, or sometimes just watch reruns of Friends! I also love to treat myself to a silent meditation retreat once a year.

9. What’s your mama mantra? 
“The days seem long but the years are short” – my friend told me this after my first daughter was born but I didn’t fully understand the truth in it until much later! 

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
You do not need to do everything, you need to do the important things. Hence, prioritize! 

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Prioritize what needs to be done today vs. tomorrow vs. next week. And communicate! If someone sends an urgent email at 4:54pm and you need to leave office by 5pm, let them know you’ve seen it and will get back to them by [be specific – e.g. tonight, or by 10am tomorrow morning]. Most people will appreciate the prompt acknowledgment and communication of timeline even if it’s not a prompt answer to the actual question. 

Thanks, Ruchika! It was so great to get to know you better. You’re little family is so lucky to have you!

Day in the Life – February 19, 2020

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I love reading about other people’s days. The mundane details, the out of the ordinary stuff, all of it. I think there’s magic in sharing about our lives more openly, even the not so glamorous stuff. Like what you’re about to read. HA!

So I’m choosing to share a ‘day in the life’ type post now because unlike most days, I actually went to the office on February 19 and did more than just work and go to the gym.

Again not glamorous…just more interesting. Or so I think!

Let’s get started.

4:30 am – My alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but I’m up and just waiting for the beeping to start.

4:45 am – My alarm goes off and out I roll. Brush teeth, shower, put make up on, and do hair. It’s all a little robotic at this point in the morning, but I want to be ready before 5:45 which is sometimes when Kaiden wakes up. Once he’s up, there’s no way I can do anything for myself.

6:15 am – I have to go in and wake K up! I could’ve slept a bit longer!! It takes him a bit to wake up, so we cuddle on the couch and goof around.

6:30 am – I put a Daniel Tiger episode on, give K some cereal and make myself a shake.

7:00 am – Brush K’s teeth, put on my work clothes, change Kaiden…

7:15 am – We are out the door on our way to school and work! And like I tell K every morning, we’re going to have an AWESOME day!

7:25 am – Drop off complete and I’m walking to work. So here’s the thing. I used to complain about Chicago weather a lot. Like A LOT. It’s so damn cold and the wind is brutal. This year (knocking on all the wood!) hasn’t been so bad. With that being said, today was COLD. And I totally didn’t think to wear my warm winter boots. My ankles were exposed and freezing! The 10 day forecast looks a bit warmer than today, so there’s that! Look at me grow and not be a negative Nancy about things I clearly can’t control!

7:45 – Arrive at work, set up, get my water and start my day.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

9:30 am – Our team in Chicago does a bagels and coffee breakfast thing once a month, so I head out to the cafe area to meet them. I love this event because it gets us all together and talking and reconnected.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

12:00 pm – Eat lunch with a coworker/friend. We haven’t seen each other since December so there’s a lot to catch up on!

WORK WORK WORK WORK

2:30 pm – Grab a coffee with another coworker/friend and catch up. I haven’t really been in the office much since December, so it’s nice to just hear about what people are up to. To be honest, I get more done at home, but I do love going in to our office because of the people. Everyone’s so nice, and honestly, it’s just a nice break for the ‘work by yourself’ routine I’ve created for myself over the past couple of months.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

4:00 pm – Pack up and head out to get K and go home! But first, stop at Taco Bell to grab dinner. 🙂

There are no pictures after this point because it’s hard once K’s around. I just don’t think about it that much. So I hope my words paint a fairly clear picture for you!

4:30 pm – Get to K’s school (I take the train and then walk), convince him it’s time to go home, and head out.

4:50 pm – HOME!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

5:15 pm – Daddy’s up! This is Vishnu’s last few days of nights (hopefully forever!). Kaiden gets so excited to see him and it just melts my heart!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

6:15 pm – Sit down to eat our beloved Taco Bell! Surprisingly, Kaiden eats the burrito I got him with minimal fuss. Of course, he also eats a few carrot sticks and some apple!

6:30 pm – Vishnu leaves for work, and K and I head to the bathroom so he can take a bath.

6:45 pm – Get K dressed and lotioned up.

7:00 pm – Read books. Tonight’s picks include – If You Take a Mouse to School, Giraffes Can’t Dance, Krishna, and Lakshmi.

7:15 – Brush K’s teeth, finish up one last book, turn on sound machine (Kaiden’s job), debate about which ball to sleep with (he couldn’t decide if he wanted his new basketball or his old one – went for the new one!).

7:35 pm – Sing songs, pray, say affirmations…I leave his room and pray he goes to sleep and stays asleep!

8:05 pm – I check K’s monitor and he’s finally down!

8:30 pm – Do the dishes, pick up toys, fold and put away laundry, etc.

9:00 pm – Finish up this blog post

[If everything goes according to plan] 9:45 pm – Wash my face, brush my teeth, and get into bed. I read for a bit before my eyes feel heavy. Turn on meditation music and fall asleep.

10:15 – Hopefully I’m fast asleep…

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

5:15 am – Wake up and do it all again (with some variations!).

And that is a typical day…when I go in to the office. Like I said, nothing too exciting but joyful and fun nonetheless!

Have a great Thursday!

Diary of a Working Mom – Yours Truly

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So many of the moms I’ve interviewed for this series have told me to answer the questions myself. Well, it took me a while, but I’m doing it!

I thought this would be a good way for new readers/followers to get to know me, as the questions span everything from schedules to mottos to guilty pleasures.

Let’s get right to it!

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
My family consists of me, my hubby of 7.5 years Vishnu, and our beautiful and fun baby boy Kaiden. We’re originally from Atlanta but have been living in Chicago for the past 3.5 years.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I work for a global accounting organisation and am a Senior Manager on the People and Culture (P&C) team. Essentially, I collaborate and work with and for P&C leaders in our member firms (we have ~140 firms) on various projects, initiatives, tools, etc. related to (you guessed it!) people and culture issues.

I like this role because it’s more strategic in nature. We don’t do any hiring, firing and paperwork. It’s really about working on the things that will impact our network and make us future-fit.

And I’ve been with my current organisation for a little over 7.5 years.

3. Walk me through a day in your life.
The answer to this depends on if I’m going in to the office or not.

Par going to office – wake up at 4:45 and shower + get ready; start prepping breakfast shake and mine and Vishnu’s lunch; Kaiden up at 6; cuddle with K, feed him breakfast, wrap up everything else; get K dressed for school and brush his teeth; get myself dressed; get out the door by 7:15; drop K off at school and walk to work; get to the office by 7:45; work work work until 4:14 pm; walk to Kaiden’s daycare, pick him up and get home by 5 ish; prep dinner and keep K entertained until it’s time to eat; sit down to eat at 6; either Vishnu or I give K a bath at 6:30 while the other person cleans up in the kitchen; once K is dressed and ‘creamed’ up, we sit, read and play; at 7:15, Vishnu takes K to brush his teeth; I then put him down (sing 4 songs, say our prayers and affirmations, goodnight kisses, lights out!); from 7:30-9:00, Vishnu and I hang out on the couch – watch TV, talk, blog, do work, etc.; I get into bed by 9:15 and read for about 20-30 minutes; then it’s lights out for me!

Par works from home – the day looks very similar to the above except I wake up at 5:30; also my afternoon looks different when I’m home – I stop working at 4 and then I clean up around the house, start prepping dinner, etc.

Vishnu and I decide who will pick up and drop off Kaiden based on our schedules. Sometimes he does one or both and sometimes it’s me.

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I feel like I’m a lot more efficient. Time and self-management are key ‘mom skills’ and I’m glad I’m able to transfer those over to my role at work.

Another way motherhood has impacted me at work is that I don’t take things to heart anymore. I used to analyze anything and everything someone said or did. I would get upset if I wasn’t included on a project. Work took up a lot of my mind space. Now? I realize work is one (small) element. My goal is to do what I need (and do it well) to do to provide for my family and prioritize the rest of my time around our family. Life is too short to spend so much energy on work (just my personal opinion).

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
If you’re not already, become a list person. Like paper and pen list person. My lists keep me sane and on track – for work and personal stuff. I feel like if you have system for capturing the random thoughts that come and go during the day (and night!), you can more easily flow between work and life.

Also, don’t multitask. It’s a myth. Set a timer, focus on one task at a time, and slowly get stuff done.

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
To be honest, I felt a lot of mom guilt in the beginning…about anything and everything. And I think that was because Kaiden was so helpless and I thought I was the only one who could (and should) help him. As he’s gotten older, I see that he only benefits from having rich relationships with other people including his dad (duh!), his grandparents, his aunts/uncles, daycare providers, baby sitters, etc.

If you love the s*** out of your kid and make the most of the time that you do have with him/her, mom guilt should really start to fade away.

It does rear it’s ugly head from time to time, but I try my best to push it out because I know I’m doing the best I can and I know I love my child to bits and pieces and that’s all that matters!

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding?
Surprising – being ok with things being undone at times. I used to be someone who’d spend 4 hours every weekend cleaning a one bedroom apartment. I now don’t nitpick at that level. It’s ok if some things get left for tomorrow.
Rewarding – picking Kaiden up at daycare and seeing his face light up when he sees him (or when he gets home if Vishnu picks him up)!

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
I try to use the time when K’s sleeping (naps, down for the night) to my advantage. Sure, I could spend hours scrolling IG (which I occasionally do). But I really try to be intentional about how I spend the hours I do get to myself.

Me time for me looks like reading, blogging, chatting with a friend, watching a show with Vishnu.

And my guilty pleasure has to be chocolate. Chocolate in most any form is life!

9. What’s your mama mantra?
One day/hour/minute at a time.

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
Don’t jump back in…wade back in. Everyone knows your capable but take the time you need to get re-acclimated.

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Ask for what you want/need. The worst thing anyone can say is no! This goes for assignments, to pumping rooms, to everything in between. Be your own best advocate!


Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Rashmi Patel

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It’s been a minute since I’ve shared a Diary of a Working Mom Q&A post, and I’m so excited for today’s. Rashmi (of @rushmehome) is someone I connected with on Instagram. On her page, she shares home decor inspiration, products, tips, tricks, etc. She’s super creative (and sweet!), and it shows!

But of course, there’s another very important side to her as well…MOM! She’s the mom of two adorable kiddos, and I love seeing how she balances that role with her full-time Marketing job as well as her side hustle…not to mention the million other hats she wears.

Anyways, I’ll let Rashmi tell her story…

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
My name is Rashmi and I’ve been married to my husband Chirag for almost 9 years now (together for almost 13 years). We have two toddlers. A 4.5 year old boy and 3 year old girl. I call them my almost twins! They def keep us on our toes.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I’m a Digital Marketer for a tech company, and my work involves personalization for our website. I manage a team of four that are offshore. I’m responsible for various project implementations for our B2B (Business to Business) customers. When I’m not at my 9 to 5, I run my blog at RushMeHome.com. I’m a company of one employee so far, me! I try my best to plan my content, but it’s not always easy when you’re a full time working mom. I try my best though! RushMeHome is a passion project of mine, so for me, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s something I love to do. 

3. Walk me through a day in your life.
Gosh! This is a hard question. For us, it’s different every day. I wake up around 6:30 and get the kids ready for school (breakfast, lunches, etc.). I get to work around 8:45 am and typically leave around 4:30-5:00. My mom duties start the minute I get home. I prep dinner, get the kids to eat, etc. After that, my husband typically washes the dishes while I clean up. We play with the kids, watch some TV with them as well and then my husband and I trade off putting the kids to bed every day. One day I’ll put one to bed and he puts the other and the next night we switch. That way we both get time with each kid. It works out pretty nicely for us.  

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I feel like becoming a mom has made me more patient at work and also more productive because I know once I get home I want to be with them instead of thinking about work. It’s hard sometimes, but I try my best. I think it’s also helped me want to do more and show them that you have to work hard for what you want.  

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
To be quite honest, I don’t know if I have the best tip. I will say to try and separate the two when you get home. It’s easier said than done because we know in reality something may have gone wrong at work and you sometimes bring home those feelings. I think it’s trying your best to evolve and know that work will always be there. And when it’s family time, it’s family time.  

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
Mom guilt is hard. I remember when I first had my son and went through the baby blues. The first few months were hard. I didn’t want to leave the house because I felt like I was failing as a mom for other reasons such as not being able to breastfeed or the fact that somehow it was my fault he wouldn’t nap for more than 30 minutes at a time. But once I was out of that phase, I knew that for me to be away has helped me be a better mom. And since then, I’ve been better about mom guilt. I know that at the end of the day if I don’t get those breaks, it’s harder for me to be a happy mom to them. TAKE THE BREAK when needed.

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding?
That it makes me a better mom honestly. I felt like because I was very maternal growing up that I would want to be a stay at home mom. And for me, that is actually not something I wanted to do. I realized I needed to be away at work and be my own person outside of being a mom. It’s a VERY personal decision for a mom to make whether or not she wants to work or stay at home. Both are hard no matter what. But for me, that was the most surprising. 

The most rewarding has been seeing little versions of me and my husband in them. The good and the bad, and that we have the ability to shape them to be the kind, caring humans beings I hope they become one day. 

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
My husband and I make sure we have “me” time, especially because I naturally have a more anxiety driven personality. Whether it’s time away at Target or getting my nails done, I always make sure I take time for me.

My guilty pleasure is to literally eat nachos and watch the bachelor/bachelorette. I’m an OG fan of the show. Ha!

9. What’s your mama mantra?
Everything will work out the way its supposed to. And sometimes you have to let things go.  

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
The best advice I received was that it’s ok if things don’t always get done at home. If you’re expecting to cross everything off your to-do list then you are setting the wrong expectation. You will always have an ongoing list and THAT IS OK. You work through it one at a time and do your best.  

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Honestly, I would say to take your time to ease back into it. Your whole world feels different, and it takes time to get back into a routine. Definitely give yourself some credit and take it one step at a time. You will figure out what works best for you and your family.

Thank you so much, Rashmi, for sharing your life and thoughts with us! You are a true inspiration, and I admire all that you’re doing – at home, at work, and with RushMeHome! What an example you are to your babies!

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