Relationships Archives - Page 5 of 6

One Word: Thankful

Lots of wedding talk, thoughts, etc. going on around these parts. Where else would my head be? After all, in exactly 93 days, my first wedding event will be starting. When I think back to 93 days ago, it was around Christmas time. WHAT!? Craziness.

A lot of people have been asking me how things are going, and they’re pretty surprised when I sound calm and controlled. Things are happening exactly how they’re supposed to. All my vendors are booked and ready to go. Wedding rings have been purchased. All of our outfits (and jewelry) are either on the way or already in our possession. Invitations have been sent out, and people have started replying. Vishnu already went to NOLA for his bachelor party, and I’ll be heading to Miami for my bachelorette party in just a few short weeks! Basically, we are ahead of schedule!

There are a few things that still need to be organized/completed before the big weekend, but we’re getting there. For example, Vishnu and I need to get our wedding certificate, we still have to go apartment hunting for “our” new place, I need to organize the wedding program (speeches, dances, etc.), etc. Oh and I need to figure the whole job thing. No big deal.

93 more days…

Even with the few things that still need to happen, I am grounded, excited, and focused on our special day (weekend). And I truly owe all of that to the wonderful, supportive people in our lives. And because of all of these amazing people I’ve been feeling very thankful over the past few months.

If I’m going to start anywhere, it has to be with our parents. My parents have worked so very hard to ensure that every desire of mine is fulfilled with this wedding. They’ve put their hearts and souls into every aspect of it. I kinda love them a lot! Vishnu’s parents have been equally wonderful. A lot of people have not so positive things to say about their in laws and wedding planning, but mine been so open and loving throughout the entire process. Every time I see them, I’m reminded of how lucky I am.

The next two people who are so dear to me are my sister and Vishnu’s brother. My sister has been my rock through everything and has managed to keep me grounded and focused on the things that matter. I can’t wait to have her by my side at every event! Vishnu’s brother, Niel, has also been very surprisingly involved over the past few months, telling me what he likes and doesn’t like every step of the way! I will never forget when Vishnu and I called him after the proposal, and I said, “Woo hoo! I’m going to be your SISTER IN LAW!!!” And he replied saying, “No, you’re going to be my sister.” Smile

My family has been pretty awesome over the past few months as well. A number of family members have been calling me regularly to see if I need any help leading up to the big day. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that the people who have watched you grow up are going to be present for one of the most important days of your life. My grandparents are probably the most excited out of the bunch because I’m their first grandchild getting married. I honestly think they’ve been waiting for this day longer then anyone, Vishnu and myself included. I’ve spoken to a few of Vishnu’s aunts and uncles over the past couple of months, and it pumps me up to hear them talk about the wedding and how much they’re looking forward to it. I can’t wait to celebrate with all of them!

And our friends, how I love them all! Their level of happiness for me and Vishnu has touched us beyond words. From the day we got engaged, each and every one of them has expressed nothing short of excitement and love. There is no doubt in my mind that our lives are better off because of these people. Plus, a lot of them have known me and Vishnu both as individuals and as a couple, so I truly feel like our day is their day too.

And last but certainly not least, Vishnu is the #1 reason why I am as calm as I am right now. He makes it a point to tell me how lucky he is to be marrying me, but I believe the joke’s on him! I’m the lucky one. And I thank my lucky stars every single day.

Don’t let this post deceive you though. Like with any major event, we’ve had our fair share of “moments” since June 10, 2011. But my point is that we’ve been able to get through it all because of the people in our lives…the loving, amazing, and incredibly thoughtful people. And June 30, 2012 is going to be that much more fun because of them!

One word: thankful.

93 more days…

Engagement Pictures

written by Parita 44 Comments

For me, selecting the perfect wedding photographer was one of the biggest decisions we had to make, second only to the venue. I spent hours emailing friends, researching on my own, and calling a number of different photographers before Vishnu and I made a decision.

My sister actually sent me a link to Amy’s blog and told me to take a look because she thought I would appreciate the style. And she was right, I loved it – the pictures captured something beyond smiles and laughter, they captured love and happiness…exactly what I was looking for. I contacted Amy and the rest is history. Her genuine kindness put me to ease. We talked for over an hour, and after that first conversation, I knew she was the one. It was so exciting!

Amy and her husband, Brandon, work together as a team when shooting. Vishnu and I had a blast with them during our engagement session. They made us feel comfortable and let us do our own thing a lot of the time which made the process a lot easier, since neither Vishnu nor I are models!

I absolutely cannot wait until the wedding. I know Amy and Brandon are going to do an amazing job, especially after seeing how they took two total goofballs and made them look good. Winking smile

What do you think? Do Vishnu and I have model potential?! Ha!

When Two Ways of Eating Collide

written by Parita 17 Comments

*I’m going to preface this post with a little disclaimer. I think of myself as a strong, independent woman and always will. However, I also have a very nurturing side. I love to take care of people, namely Vishnu. And one of the ways I take care of him is by cooking healthy and (hopefully) tasty meals. After reading this post, you may be inclined to think that after June my life will revolve around cooking for my husband, but that is not true at all. In fact, he is more than capable of doing this himself, but I genuinely love to cook, and he doesn’t. I love planning healthy meals, while he’d rather just eat the healthy meal. And this works for us.

A topic that has been frequently making its way into recent conversation is how marriage is going to change mine and Vishnu’s eating habits. The short answer is that marriage is not going to change anything. I’ll still be a vegetarian, and he’ll continue to eat white meat and fish. I’ll still be somewhat of a health nut, and he’ll take on some of my healthy habits while still eating the things he wants.

I think one of the reasons why people ask me about this is because I have been an on again off again vegetarian for years. However, back in August 2010, I made the decision to give up meat…forever. Trust be told, it grosses me out – more then ever. And thinking about it makes me sad.

When we first got engaged, Vishnu stubbornly stated that no meat would be cooked at home. He wanted to respect my way of eating. Instead, he would resort to eating non-veg things when dining out. Over time, as we talked more about this, I convinced him that having meat in the house won’t bother me. I don’t want him to change his way because of me. I even offered to cook him meat dishes, as long as he prepped everything beforehand. For example, if I was making an Indian vegetable curry, we could very easily add chicken to his portion. No big deal! I honestly have no intention of converting Vishnu into a vegetarian, and I know with 100% certainty that it will never happen.

Story of our lives!

I think another reason the question comes up often is because of my focus on eating clean and healthy. People who know me understand that about me, and again, while I don’t want to lure Vishnu over to my sometimes crazy ways, I do want to introduce him to a healthier way of eating. Luckily, he’s already made some awesome changes to his diet this past year. He and his roommate make dinner at home most nights of the week – lasagna, sandwiches, stir-frys, grilled chicken and veggies, etc. He’s a fruit fiend – blueberries, bananas, and apples are his favorite. And he now prefers wheat pasta over white (this is HUGE because a couple of years ago he absolutely hated wheat anything).

As far as changes go, I’d like for us to pay more attention to the quality of the meat we purchase. If he’s going to eat it, might as well make sure it’s coming from a good source. I also want to make sure Vishnu eats a good, filling breakfast. I know, I know – he’s not a child, but with his busy class schedule, breakfast often goes to the wayside. He loves green protein smoothies and protein cereal and has said himself that he’s very much looking forward to breakfast after the wedding! Having a variety of healthy snacks around will also be key for us. We both love granola, Greek yogurt, hummus + veggies, peanut butter, cheese, etc. We’ll just have to make sure these things are readily available.

Vishnu’s not the only one that’s going to have to be adaptable. I too am going to have to be more thoughtful about our meals. For example, there are days every now and then where I don’t feel like cooking, and when that happens, I eat a couple of bowls of cereal and call it a night. However, I know that cereal would never satisfy my hubby-to-be. And me being me, I know I would feel guilty if he went to bed on an “empty stomach.” Also, I could honestly eat the same dinner three to four times a week. It’s easy and convenient. Vishnu, on the other hand, likes variety. So, I think we’re both going to have to compromise a little and be a bit more flexible. Finally, I know I’m going to have to kick it up a notch when it comes to making Indian meals. Vishnu and I both grew up in families where our moms made Indian food for dinner five to six times a week. And by no means is Vishnu demanding I cook certain kinds of food, but I do want to continue with that tradition, but it’ll probably be a three times week thing for us.

It’s funny how food is one of my major marriage “concerns.” It’s just that Vishnu and I have different views on food and what we like and don’t like. I know this isn’t abnormal for a couple, but it’ll be interesting to see how we adjust over time.

Do you find yourself adjusting to the eating habits of those around you, or do you use your influencing skills to get others to adapt to you?

What They’ll Never Tell You

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Hi, y’all! I hope you enjoyed Khushboo’s post. And today, I have yet another fun guest post lined up. Sig’s blog is an awesome read – every post is unique and special in it’s own way. I love how she changes her writing style and varies the topics…definitely keeps me coming back for more. Oh and did I mention that she’s hilarious?! Well, you’re about to get a taste of that…

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hi everyone!

I’m honoured to be writing a guest post for you while Parita is away partying like the wild woman we all know she is at her girlfriend’s bachelorette party.

Trust me, she’ll need the break. I too, attended my friend’s hen’s night a week or so ago.

Whoa.

Too many marriage jokes, too much off-key singing while belting out Spice Girls and WAY too many shots.

Felt like crap the next day, but sometimes drinking vodka and lime out of a penis-shaped straw is exactly what you need.

With that lovely bit of information (and to not give you the idea that phallic shaped objects and me are always intimately acquainted), let me introduce myself properly.

Hi.

My name is Sugandha, otherwise affectionately known as Sig or Sugar and I blog over at Melbourne Maharani (http://siggysparkle.wordpress.com). I’m an almost-29 year old from Melbourne, Australia and love puppy dogs, healthy living and red wine (not necessarily in that order as well)

(Actually DEFINITELY not in that order. Red wine tops the list).

I’ve also been married for four years and together with my hunky husband Evs for almost eleven years.

In no way am I an expert in marriage, but I like to think I have a possibly-warped idea of a relationship and so I am going to share the top five things that NOBODY told me once the wedding was over. (Kind of like a spin-off on the wonderful marital advice that Parita received earlier)

I like to call this “How to Survive Your First Year of Marriage” (and other stories)

With Parita’s impending nuptials coming up and in the theme of wedding-related occasions, I thought I’d give her once last chance to think it over – especially since this will also be the first time she and Vishnu will be living together.

Oh the fun they will have 😛

If you have ever been married or even in a relationship, these might sound familiar to you, or then again, I might be weird, Evs might be weird and you might already be wondering how long exactly did Parita say she was going to be away again??

1. Have realistic expectations (or pick your battles)

This means that the age-old conundrum of leaving the toilet seat up or down versus to your daily TV viewing schedule to whose turn it is to cook dinner – the rules are different now. Choosing your options wisely may now mean being subjected to 3 hours straight of test cricket on TV to get the vacuuming done. And you know what – it’ll be worth it.

2. Communication is key (or mind-reading is a valuable skill)

Having an hour long conversation on the phone with your sister and expecting your spouse to not only have heard every word but also agree to the decisions made is apparently a no-no. So don’t get shitty at them if they look bewildered when you’re waiting ready to go and they’re still in their underwear.

3. Keep your independence (or don’t forget your friends. You’ll need them. )

So, I’m just going to put it out there. After the first few months (or if you’re lucky, years), the mattress mambo becomes a dance for special occasions. That’s why you need to remember your friends. Only even if to bitch about the lack of lovin’ over drinks. BUT – bonus – you now have a designated driver that can pick you up when you have had too many vodka and limes out of a penis-shaped straw which might get even you some action if you’re lucky (FYI – I wasn’t ).

4. Doing things together is fun! (and if crocheting or go-kart racing is your thing, DO it. And often)

You’re spending almost every waking hour with this other person. So you kinda want to enjoy time with them and you know, LIKE it. But if your other half suddenly gets a sudden interest in gardening or playing computer games for 10 hours straight or any other yawn-inducing activities, it’s totally ok to let them do it alone (See Lesson #3). But find your thing and have fun. Laugh together.

5. Love is a funny thing

Despite the 101 ways he irritates you or forgets to put your clothes away (after putting everything ELSE away) or still wears that shirt from 1993 just because he can still fit into it – they say marriage is a journey on an often tired and weary road. So it’s actually in the quiet moments when Evs and I are snuggled on the couch watching Glee (my choice) or Spartacus (also my choice), that I look over and feel my heart fill with a love like nothing else.

We chose each other on this journey and remembering the many, many memories we have made and will make, makes it all worth it.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Sig! You and Evs are so cute!

What’s the one thing you struggled with during your first year of marriage? And if you’re not married, what is the one thing you think you’ll have the hardest time compromising on?

How to Improve Any Relationship…

written by Parita Leave a Comment

…even a little bit.

Listen. Yep, it’s that simple. Master the art of listening, and master your life. Ok, maybe I’m stretching it a little, but I truly believe that most good listeners are well respected, liked, and successful in one way, shape or form.

My thoughts were confirmed when I read an article on the subject in the local paper called To Listen is to Respect. I found the given tips and techniques to be simple yet effective, so I thought I would share along with some of my own insight.

And just to be clear, I’m not an expert on good listening – quiet the opposite actually. While I love talking to people, hearing their thoughts, and engaging in respectful dialogue, I often find myself either interjecting my own opinion or zoning out (probably more than I should). And that is not respectful.

NOT respectful (but it happens sometimes)!

The article says that people need to monitor their airtime. Are you talking more than 50% of the time? If so, that needs to change ASAP, and here’s how…

Demonstrate genuine interest and empathy. When talking to people, show interest by asking questions and inviting others to share their thoughts, all while putting your own opinions aside. And I personally think that if you’re not engaged and can’t show genuine interest, excuse yourself from the conversation. That seems rude, but I really think that it’s better then pretending to listen.

Listen to learn. So here, you want to stay present. Try to understand what the person is saying both verbally and nonverbally. And instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next, understand what is actually being said because that’s where the learning happens.

Be comfortable with silence. Good conversation isn’t always about talking nonstop. Silence gives both parties a chance to regroup or think about what was already said. If anything, it can enhance the conversation. And if you’re one of those people who is uncomfortable with silence or has a need to always fill it up with words (guilty as charged), pause and select your words carefully because you’ll probably end up sharing more then intended. If you have to break the silence, at least make it a question.

Minimize other bad listening habits. (This one was written for me). Don’t text while someone is talking to you. Don’t look at the clock either. And don’t change the subject, especially if the other person started the conversation. But definitely make sure you are maintaining eye contact, nodding your head when appropriate, and using the right body language.

Good listening skills help build trust and earn respect, both necessary for any healthy relationship. And if you learn to be a supportive listener, you will find yourself surrounded by others who are able to do the same for you. Win win!

And as Sir Winston Churchill once said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Do you consider yourself to be a good listener? Which tip resonated with you? Have any of your own to share?

Words of Marital Wisdom

written by Parita 23 Comments

*Two individuals with different views, habits, needs, wants, etc. come together and make the decision to spend the rest of their lives in holy matrimony.*

That, my friends, is marriage simplified.

But I’m no fool. I know being married isn’t always about roses, rainbows, and sunshine. Heck, being in a relationship period isn’t always like that. Just like everything else in life, marriage has its ups and downs. Along with love, honesty, trust, friendship, and all that, it takes a lot of freakin’ hard work to keep a marriage going strong.

Having been with Vishnu for over six years now and having experienced our fair share of ups and downs, I know that a solid relationship is a labor of love. However, I hear that the rules of marriage are a bit different than those of dating. Being married to someone means sharing a home, a bed, a bathroom, a kitchen…your lives.

For the past few years, Vishnu and I have led fairly independent lives. Because we haven’t lived together, let alone in the same state, for the past 3.5, we’ve become very accustomed to our ways. And while we talk about how things are going to change after June, I don’t really think either of us knows how much they will change. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve been waiting a very long time to marry Vishnu, and I am SO excited to spend the rest of my life with him. However, being the semi-controlling person that I am, I can see why compromise and patience will have to become part of my regular vernacular pretty quickly. And the same goes for him – he’s going to have to meet me in the middle on a lot of things. We both get this and have talked about it numerous times.

I just think that living it is a different ball game altogether.

And that is why I enlisted the help of my married friends and family members to share with me their marital experiences, lessons learned, tips…whatever you want to call them.

I asked them to send me their thoughts with the idea that I would then share all of that wisdom in a blog post.

And here’s what these wise women had to say…

Never go to bed mad or angry with each other.
In marriage, both individuals need to compromise depending on the life challenges that come your way. Do NOT be stubborn, as that will make your marriage that much more complicated.
Marriage is not just a bond between two people, but two families.
A successful marriage requires compromise, great listening skills, and respect.
One person shared a quote she read before her wedding – “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."- Dave Meure
Having your husband around all the time is an adjustment and vice versa. Each of you is going to like things your way, so compromise is KEY. It’s not easy, especially when you’re so used to doing things your way, but it’s absolutely necessary.
Date night once a week is a must. Once you’re married, it’s easy to let that go since you see each other all the time. But it’s important to not put your relationship on the back burner – keep the flame going!
Treat marriage like a job. Your job is to make Vishnu happy and his job is to make you happy! If you are not happy, make sure to vocalize what needs to change. Don’t keep it inside and hope things will change later. You have to put the time and energy into your relationship just like you do in your daily job.
Remember your husband’s intentions are never to hurt you or make you upset. He really just may not get it, or it may just take him time to understand how you work and process things. Try to be patient.
Be honest and open with one another. Communicate like two civil human beings by showing respect for one another.
Never talk poorly about your husband in front of others. Remember, if you don’t respect him, then others won’t either.
Be patient and don’t jump to crazy conclusions when something goes wrong. Get the facts straight first.
Be the first to admit when you’ve made a mistake, as there is no shame in being honest.
Be wise about finances. Try to balance each other as best as possible.
While this may be old fashioned, remember that everything should be ours, not mine or yours. This is the best way to think about your life after marriage.
Change the way you communicate – this is especially important after you’re living together. Your husband isn’t a mind reader, and he probably wants to know what you’re thinking/feeling, so just say it. This makes things so much easier.
Have realistic expectations of one another. If your husband always needs to be reminded of certain things, don’t just think that one day he will wake up and change his ways. He may just need a little help from you, but that’s ok – help him and help your relationship.
Learning to live together can be a challenge. When something he does bothers you, don’t just complain about it – come up with a solution. Example: I hate having things out on the counter yet he kept EVERYTHING out on the counter. I bought him a basket that easily fit everything he needed neatly under the sink. He didn’t have to think about where to put things or have a system like mine. He could dump it all in one easy place. The solution kept the counters clean and required very little change from him. You can’t always fight the system, sometimes you have to change the system.

It was so fun to read the emails as they came in, and I honestly loved every piece of ‘advice.’ If nothing else, it reminded me that we aren’t alone. And as crazy as it sounds, I’m more excited than ever to face the challenges of marriage with Vishnu. It’s going to be a crazy journey, and I couldn’t have a better person to experience it all with.

What’s the best piece of marriage advice you received? If you’re not married, what do you think the biggest challenge for you will be?

Date Night Dinner at Lola’s

written by Parita 8 Comments

I’m back home and settled in Tampa. Boo! This weekend flew by. And seriously, how is it mid-January already?

In an effort to relive part of my weekend, I’m going to do a little restaurant review. On Friday night, Vishnu and I dressed up and headed to Lola’s on Harrison in Hollywood, FL. A few people had told him that Lola’s was a fantastic restaurant with delicious, seasonal food.

We each started off with a drink – Riesling for me and a ginger and cardamom cocktail for Vishnu. Vishnu’s drink was amazing – sweet (because of the sugarcane rum) with a hint of spicy.

Bread was also served.

So here’s the thing with the bread. A man came by and gave both of us a piece of bread. And then he walked away and never came back. I wasn’t really looking to eat multiple pieces, but I found it odd that he didn’t leave the basket with us.

Anyways, the bread was good but nothing extraordinary – light, slightly chewy and warm.

Next came our entrees.

I ordered the Ricotta Gnocchi, made with ricotta cheese, wild mushroom cream sauce, shaved ricotta salata, and white truffle oil. I was really impressed with the gnocchi as it was incredibly soft and pillowy. Melt in your mouth delicious! The sauce was also really tasty and different. I was afraid it would be too rich, but it really worked well with the rest of the dish.

Vishnu (surprisingly) went with a vegetarian dish for his entrée. I think it was so he could share a little with me! Regardless, he really liked his Coca Cola BBQ Portabella Mushroom served with buttermilk onion rings and herb cream corn. The BBQ sauce was tangy with a bit of Coke sweetness and the onion rings were lightly battered and not too oily. The only issue I had with this dish was the portion size. Even though it looks like a lot of food, it honestly wasn’t. That’s why I shared quite a bit of my gnocchi with Vishnu.

And no meal out is complete without dessert, right?!

That, my friends, would be heaven in a bowl. We actually weren’t planning on getting dessert, but when our waiter told us about this chocolate truffle cake with java chip ice cream, we were sold. The truffle filling stole the show. It was rich, slightly bitter, and delicious with the ice cream. I’m seriously drooling right now just thinking about it!

Overall, we were both happy with our dining experience at Lola’s. Our waiter was very knowledgeable, patient, and helpful. The ambiance was cozy. And I loved the fact that there was a separate vegetarian and gluten free menu. I love it when restaurants cater to non-meat eaters!

What’s your favorite kind of dessert? I love anything with chocolate in it (duh)!

One Word: Thankful

Engagement Pictures

When Two Ways of Eating Collide

What They’ll Never Tell You

How to Improve Any Relationship…

Words of Marital Wisdom

Date Night Dinner at Lola’s

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