My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Covid-19: Finding Balance for Working Families

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As I mentioned on Instagram last week, I led a webinar at work for working families. My team, as a whole, is running a series of webinars for our organisation to help people cope with this crisis and feel less alone.

The content of our webinar was pretty good, but I couldn’t have guessed how much it would resonate with people. We have requests to do more calls because people really need and want the support.

I figured it would be good to share this information on the blog as well, since so many of you are working parents who are now working from home with your kids. And honestly speaking, I think some of this information applies to parents who aren’t working from home (for a company) but just at home with their kids.

Hope you find something useful for your situation. Here we go…

What I want to share today are the top tips we discussed as a group. Of course, these are just a few of many, but these resonated with us as working parents.

Work Life

Don’t expect to work at your normal capacity – I read in an article that said, “Take the to-do list you had for today and cut it in half, then cut it in half again,”  That made me laugh! Everyone is going to be less productive during this time. Being proactive with your manager and co-workers and setting realistic expectations about what you can accomplish is necessary to prevent misunderstandings down the line.

Open and ongoing conversations – It’s not always easy to talk to your boss or colleagues in an open way about your family, especially when that means you will be working odd hours and may not deliver things during the traditional time. Regardless, it’s important to have these conversations and to be transparent when doing so. You team needs to understand what you’re facing right now. That’s the only way they will know what to expect and how to support you.

Agree on how and when you will communicate – Where possible, establish a schedule with your availability and put it in your work calendar. This will provide clarity for your team. Try to keep your out-of-office up to date as well. The more you can share, the better.  Establish with your manager the frequency with which you will both communicate as well as the format that will work best (email, calls, etc). 

Align your priorities – Your business priorities may have shifted. Establish what your new priorities are and get buy-in from your line manager.  And where possible, work with your manager to establish achievable timelines for your new priorities. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE – And most importantly, please remember that you are not alone at this time.  There are millions of people just like you who are trying to work, raise kids, and survive this virus. If you ever feel alone and don’t know where to turn, shoot me an email (myinnershakti@gmail.com). I’m always here!

Home + Kid Life

Self care – Harvard Business Review published an article in March where the author responsible for popularising the grief cycle explains how the ‘discomfort you are feeling’ right now is grief. This brings a range of emotions: grief over things that have changed or fear over what we may lose, along with anxiety, frustration, anger, bewilderment, sadness. With that being said, it’s important that we put on our own oxygen masks first, regardless of whether that’s before our kids or our colleagues. Taking care of yourself is key at a time like this.

Prioritize your schedule – Think through your most important tasks every day (2-3 at most) and figure out how to build your day around those.  Maybe that involves shift work with your partner, maybe it’s TV time, maybe it’s setting up activities the night before so your kids are occupied in the morning or whenever your important calls are.  This will look different for each of us, but it’s important to prioritize on a daily basis for both work as well as your home life and structure your day around those key things.

Protect your family life – If you live with a partner, try to ensure you are taking a fair share. Fair doesn’t necessarily mean the same or equal. But it is a balance that is fair for each of you given your individual responsibilities, pressures, and strengths. Also, make sure each parent has a share of the easier/more fun aspects of family life.  Put a plan together but be prepared to flex and/or rewrite it. Consider a quick family meeting each night to work out what’s happening the next day. Find time to talk through what worked/what didn’t work.

Define your temporary parenting principles – Maybe this is related to screen time and how much your kids get now versus how much time you allocated previously; maybe this means more frozen foods now whereas before your kids were eating fresh fruit and veggies; maybe this means more ice cream; or maybe a movie night three times a week.  These are unprecedented times, and temporarily changing your parenting principles/approach is OK and sometimes necessary for all parties!

Distance learning is a challenge for everyone – We’re not teachers.  We didn’t go to school for this. In fact, we had no time to prepare for this monumental shift. So instead of stressing out yourself and your kids, try to incorporate learning into everyday tasks and be more of an educational buddy.  This is more about survival than teaching the ABCs or times table.

The stories and anecdotes that were shared were awesome too. I honestly related to everything everyone said.

The bottom line is that we’re lucky to still have our jobs, but this is still hard. There’s lots of guilt, frustration, etc. But in the same breath, we’re lucky to be home with our babies – safe and sound.

I’ll share more of my insights and thoughts as we continue with more webinars and life at home with our kids…while trying to work. Ay ay ay!

Please stay at home, people. This virus is not pretty and we all need to do our part to keep everyone safe.

Our Experience Using a Toddler Sleep Clock

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Sleep (or the lack thereof) and parenthood often go hand in hand. Like I’ve said before, I was naive enough to think that our sleep woes would end once Kaiden was a toddler. But no. We’ve experienced every regression plus some!

For my long time readers, you know that K often woke up quite early. No matter what we tried (going to sleep earlier, going to sleep later, changing up his bedtime routine, etc.), he consistently woke up in the 5 o’clock hour (if not earlier). And this is as recently as November/December 2019.

One night, as we laid our exhausted heads to bed, I asked Vishnu what he thought of a toddler clock. After sharing my sleep woes on Instagram, a few followers recommended getting one. He said he was willing to try anything to get Kaiden to sleep until 6:00. Ha!

After looking up a few of the ones that were recommended to me, we finally settled on the LittleHippo Mella Read to Rise Children’s Sleep Trainer Clock. There was no rhyme or reason as to why we chose this one to be honest…more than anything it had better reviews that the rest.

So this clock is really simple. You essentially set your child’s sleep time and you set the wake time, and then thirty minutes before the wake time, the ring around the clock turns yellow. This is to help the child slowly wake up (more on our experience with this in a minute). Then when it’s your scheduled wake time, the ring turns green. In most, cases, this is when your child can get of bed or call out to you.

In our experience, the yellow light would cause Kaiden to wake up…and not slowly! So instead of telling him he had to wait for the green light to call out for us, we tell him to wait for the yellow light. We set the clock to a 6:30 am wake up time so that the yellow ring turns on at 6:00 am.

If I’m making this sound complicated, please know that it’s not! Just takes some adjusting based on your child.

A few notes…

Don’t assume this will work from day 1. Some days, Kaiden still wakes up at 5:45, and I have to go in and lay on the bed and tell him he has to wait to get up until he sees the yellow light. Depending on when you start, it will take your toddler some time to adjust to a clock wake up.

We do change the wake up time on the weekends to 7:30 in the hopes that K sleeps until 7. This has worked a handful of times!

How I like to face the clock on Friday and Saturday nights. I feel like not having the bright yellow light shining over his crib helps him sleep a little later. Just a theory on my part…who knows!

This clock has other features like an alarm, a nightlight, etc. We don’t use them (yet) but you get more for your buck than what we use it for.

Anyways, like I said, this was not a magical sleep solution for us, but it has worked wonders! Kaiden has slept longer with this than when we did anything else. Fingers crossed that it only gets better from here!

Let me know if you have any questions (in the comments), and most importantly, if you are dealing with a toddler who doesn’t love to sleep in, know that you’re not alone!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

The Start of Potty Training

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I say the ‘start’ because I think it’s going to take a bit longer than I originally imagined it would. There are people who claim they’ve potty trained their kids in 3 days flat, and I thought I was going to be one of those moms. Turned out I was wrong! But that’s ok. This is truly one of those things you have to do at your child’s pace.

I got a lot of questions and requests on IG to share what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, the products we’re using, tips, tricks, etc. So that’s what today’s post is about. But please note, we are not some magical success story. Like I said, this is going to be a journey for us and this is just the starts.

Why now?

A lot of people told us we were starting too early. But I really wanted to start right after K turned 2.5 for a few reasons. One – in case it didn’t go according to plan and took longer, we’d have more time (and that’s what happened). Two – his school won’t move him up to the next classroom until he’s potty trained. Three – I have some travel coming up between now and the middle of the year, so I needed to factor that in when thinking about Kaiden and what he would need at this time. Essentially, for K, it’s better to have minimal disruptions to his routine for him to feel comfortable with something as big as this.

Approach

Ok, so because I wanted to see if the 3 day method would work for us, I had Vishnu take a Friday off (I already have off), and we kept K home from school too.

The plan was to stay home Friday-Sunday and take Kaiden to the potty every 15 minutes. We did that…kind of. It didn’t end up being every 15 minutes because after a few rounds Kaiden was getting super annoyed. Haha! We kept him commando from the waist down the first 1.5 days and then let him wear underwear. Also, if K successfully went pee in the potty, he got one M&M. And if we went poop (which he didn’t), he would get two M&Ms.

We also transitioned him out of diapers and only used Pull Ups for naps and night time sleep.

We did end up leaving the house for soccer class on Sunday because I think we were all a little crazed from being inside for so long!

So that was our ‘simple’ approach. We didn’t quite stick with the original plan as strictly as we probably should have, but in retrospect, I think we’re fine!

I would never include pics from K’s potty training journey any where, especially not on a public blog. So instead, you get a cute picture of him sleeping! Ha!

Where are we now?

It’s been a little over 10 days since our introduction to potty training, and I’d say Kaiden is getting the hang of it slowly but surely. He does fairly well with peeing in the potty, tell us when he has to go, can thankfully hold it, etc. That being said, he still has accidents, especially when he’s distracted!

In terms of pooping in the potty, he’s not there yet. And I read that this part can take a lot longer. We did have one semi-victorious incident, but that’s it!

We’re lucky in that Kaiden’s school also works with him/us on this journey. There’s a potty in his room, and the thinking is they also learn by watching other kids go. And his teachers are great about taking him regularly and talking to him about the experience (sounds strange but telling a toddler they’re turning the potty water yellow is a great way to get them to go!).

Final Thoughts

Expect this to be a longish process and really just go with your kid’s flow (literally!). Like most things parenting, your experience will just depend. Don’t compare yourself to other people and their experiences…just do what’s best for your child. They will eventually get it!

For us, I’m hoping that in the next couple of months, we’re able to say we’re daytime potty trained! Fingers crossed!

A few other notes – expect some type of regression when starting this process. For K, it was in the sleeping and behavior department. His nighttime sleep was punctuated with random wake ups, so we had to work through that for a few days. And he went from being independent and generally really happy to whiny and clingy (with me!). Thankfully both were short lived! And finally, try to stay as calm as possible. This can bring out some frustration from you and your partner (I speak from experience) but know that it does get easier and focus on the wins!

Tools

Here are some of the tools we used to help us get started…

Underwear – I got K three packs of this Sesame Street underwear since he loves the show and all the characters! It runs a little small, so keep that in mind when ordering.

At home potty seat – We opted to not get a separate mini potty for K, as a lot of friends (and his teachers) told us that would be yet another thing to ween him off. We really like this particular seat – basic but does the job!

Folding (portable) potty seat – We have yet to use this, but I keep it folded and in K’s diaper bag for when he starts going places without his Pull Ups!

Chucks – So I had no idea what a chuck was prior to starting this process. Vishnu brought some home from work and told me that we had to use them (we asked my BIL to also bring some home – helps to know doctors!). We kept one on the couch and one by K’s potty, and boy did these bad boys come in handy! Especially when we had messy accidents. Having a chuck around made clean up a lot easier. They aren’t cheap by any means, but this is definitely a must have IMO!

Leave any questions you have in the comments! OR if you’re an experienced parent who’s been through this before, please share your thoughts, ideas, tips, product recs, etc.

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

State of Our Household [2.5 Years]

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First of all, I can’t believe Kaiden is 2.5. I know it’s the most cliche thing to say, but time really does fly when you have a little human in your life. Zoom zoom!

Overall, 2.5 feels like such a turning point. I’ve seen such a change in K in small ways and big over the past six months. Putting aside the fact that I’m his mom, it’s been so amazing to witness. Like how did my little mush of a baby turn into such a big boy?!

With that, let’s dive right in…

State of Kaiden

Let’s kick this off on a positive note. Kaiden is an incredibly sweet and kind child. While he’s not super outgoing, he thrives when he’s around people. You can just see his eyes light up when he’s with loved ones! One of my favorite things about him is that he is empathetic. Ok fine, maybe not fully, but I can tell that he feels for others by his actions and words.

Kaiden is also still very much a mama’s boy! And I can’t lie…I love it. We’ll be sitting on the couch together, and he’ll randomly look at me and say, “HUG!” So I have to put down whatever I’m holding and hug him! My heart! My favorite thing to do with him is just cuddle and hold him super tight…and cover him with kisses! Not looking forward to the day when he doesn’t want to do that anymore…

Personality wise…the other thing about him that stands out for me is his sense of humor. He’s a funny guy! While he’s not exactly cracking jokes just yet, he definitely has some really good comedic timing. I don’t quite get how a 2.5 year old can say things at the perfect time, but this guy…he’s full of surprises! Hand in hand with this, he loves to laugh. And trust me when I say, his laugh is contagious!

In terms of food and sleep, we’re doing great with one and ok with the other. Can you guess which is which? He loves food and will try most things. It’s still hard to get him to focus on eating sometimes, but we’re working on it. He still loves Indian food, pasta, and almost all fruits and veggies. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have days/nights where a picky little monster comes out, but most days, he’s good.

In terms of sleep, we were doing really well and then potty training (more on this next week) came along and all of that went out the window. We can usually put him down at 7:30 and expect him to wake up between 5:30-6. Nowadays, I’m in his room about 3x between 7:30-8 just to get him to fall asleep. He’s also up multiple times throughout the night and then he still wakes up at 5:30 most days. Man, oh, man! I thought sleep would be the least of our worries as he got older…I was wrong! I’m hoping as the potty becomes his new norm, we can ease back into more sleep. Fingers crossed!

Developmentally, my favorite thing over the past six months has been his language and cognitive development. I don’t know how many words he knows, but it’s a lot! He speaks in full sentences, asks questions, and even infers things from what we say. CRAZINESS! In terms of cognitive development, he really as a great memory and can remember things we’ve told him or that he’s seen/heard days later. I just love watching that little brain work!

Physically, he’s a little on the smaller side, but our pediatrician said that he comes from a smaller family so we can’t expect him to be huge. HAHA. But don’t let my skinny man fool you. He’s got energy for DAYS! He is always on the move. And I don’t like being that mom who brags, but I really do think we have a little soccer star on our hands. Even Vishnu thinks so! He’s great at handling the ball, and has a really strong kick. I’m so glad we enrolled him in soccer classes, only because they help him burn off some of his energy and do something he loves and is good at!

With that being said, Kaiden’s favorite things are still balls. Any and all balls! You guys, he’s obsessed. He’s also into legos and just random items…mostly things that he can knock down with…you guessed it…balls! I actually love that he’s not a toys kid. He can literally turn anything into something. #likehisdaddy

With ALL of that being said, there are a few things we are working on. First, when Kaiden gets upset (usually when we are upset with him), he gets mad. When he gets mad, he tries to hit us. And he also uses the phrase, ‘Go away!’ When he does this, I have to take him in his room and talk to him very calmly about why we don’t do and say those kinds of things. Now, randomly, he’ll say, “Don’t say go away.” As in, I’m not supposed to say that, right? We’re working on it!

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we have embarked on our potty training journey. It’s…interesting. I have hope that we’ll get there in a couple of months, but like everyone who’s done this before says, you have to go at your kid’s pace.

And of course, there are those toddler meltdowns and tantrums that often come of left field. I’m at a point now where I tell him that when’s done feeling his feelings mommy will talk to him.

Other than THAT, we’re all good over here. HAHA! #alwayssomething

State of Mama

You guys, this is probably the best I’ve felt in the past 2.5 years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a beautiful and magical time, but it’s also been hard. But now, I feel like I’m in my groove with being a mom (not saying I have all the answers, just that I feel like I can navigate the ups and downs with more confidence), Vishnu and I are solid, work is going really well, I have something really exciting happening in the background (more to come when I can share…promise!), I’ve found some great friends in Chicago, etc.

My mom shared with me that she sees a difference in how relaxed I am now versus before. She said that things don’t seem to stress me out as much now. I think a lot of that has to do with the kind of kid Kaiden is. He really is a lot of fun 90% of the time.

So year, overall, things are good. It’s always a juggle trying to balance work, home, family, friends, travel, etc., and it still stresses me out when things start to pile up, but I’m slowly learning that everything works out as it should. Stressing about it only makes the situation worse.

State of Dada

You guys, since we found out that Vishnu matched for fellowship AND that he passed his boards, he has been the most relaxed I’ve seen him in the past eight years. It’s like my old Vishnu is back! I’ll take him for as long as this lasts, as stress is kind of a given in medicine.

Most importantly, this means that Vishnu and Kaiden have been able to spend more time together in the past six months, which I know means the world to Vishnu. We were even able to celebrate our first Christmas as a family this year!

Vishnu still has other work responsibilities that take up his time and a few other things happening in the background, but overall, I think he’s doing well. He’s taking better care of his health too, which makes me so happy!

Next up, fellowship (another busy year!) and job hunting!

Can you believe that in less than 1.5 years, we’ll be moving again…and hopefully to our forever city! I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, that’s all I have folks! If you got this far, thank you for reading and caring about my little family. 🙂

Until next time!

Thanksgiving Weekend 2019

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Better late than never right?!  I wrote this on my way to London, the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  I’m actually posting it a week after that. But I wrote it so I’m sharing it! Ha!

I’ve always loved this time of year – between November and December.  It just feels magical and cozy.  But now that we have K and he’s getting older; I think I’m going to love it more and more. 

Let’s talk about Thanksgiving weekend 2019, because while it had its ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a single thing (well, maybe one, but I’ll get to that in a minute).

Wednesday was technically the first day of our weekend because K was home from school, and I took the day off.  The first thing we did was go to the grocery store to pick up some Thanksgiving meal essentials.  It may have taken us 20 minutes to get out the door between my toddler wanting to put his shoes on all by himself on the wrong feet and then protesting his jacket, but we did it!  After that it was smooth sailing until we got home, and I had work to do.  I put on some PBS for K to watch so that I could get 30 uninterrupted minutes of work time, but of course, he wanted me to sit next to him.  I did that, but he couldn’t stay away from my laptop, so I moved back to the kitchen island.  That was a no go for K, so I finished up what I could with a whimpering toddler on my hip and one free hand. 

The rest of the day was honestly a bit of a blur.  All I vividly remember is K waking up from his nap feeling a little warm.  He didn’t have a fever, but something was up.  I asked Vishnu to pick up dinner from a place down the street.  When he got home, he took one look at Kaiden, and said that we needed to give him some Tylenol before bed. He was warm and very congested.

Thursday started off much like the way Wednesday ended.  K woke up warm but with no fever.  Just to be on the safe side, we continued with the Tylenol and Motrin, which in some ways was kind of nice because that helped Kaiden stay in a better mood. 

I ended up prepping our Thanksgiving dinner throughout the day when I could find time, and this turned out to be a good plan because by dinnertime everything was fresh and ready!  Of course, Kaiden ate lots of bread, some mac n’ cheese, some chicken and ice cream.  Ha!

The day also included Facetime with family and lots of running around.

After Kaiden went down for the night, our friends came over for dessert and game night.  This turned out to be ice cream, Codenames Pictures, and some deep discussion about gun control in this country.  #adulting

Friday was a good day, and to be honest, I don’t remember much, except that Kaiden woke up with a slight fever.  Poor bubs!  But you wouldn’t really have been able to tell given how much energy he had.  We were supposed to go to my friend’s place for dinner, but I nixed that because I didn’t want her entire household catching whatever Kaiden had.  I also went to Target and Trader Joe’s…per usual.  At Target, I found a couple of good deals on clothing for all three of us.  And that was pretty much the end of my Black Friday shopping. We also watched Frozen at some point on Friday, which Kaiden liked and Vishnu and I loved.  Funny how that works!

Saturday was a better day because Kaiden didn’t wake up warm and his snottyness was more manageable.  We met Vishnu’s cousin and his family for breakfast at a place off Michigan Avenue.  Even though it was kind of cold outside, we decided to walk, and I think Kaiden really appreciated the fresh air.  After breakfast, we walked home and relaxed for a bit.

The rest of the day included packing, cleaning meal prep, and Coco.  Oh and lots of cuddling (well, as much as he would let me) with my baby!

I was creeping on K from the airport, and I happened to see my other love on the floor next to his crib. Can you spot him!? LOL!

And now it’s Sunday.  I’m on my flight to London, where I’ll be for the next four nights.  We have a full team meeting this week which includes planning for next year.  Should be a good one!

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday filled with the people and foods that you love!

Starting a Family in Your 30s

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I want to start this post by saying one thing.  There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to starting a family.  These are purely my thoughts, as my husband and I did choose to start in our 30s.

Ok, first things first.  I didn’t always want to start in my 30s.  In fact, I had a very detailed plan when I was 17 that was all about how I would be done having babies by the time I was 30.  HA!

But then I met Vishnu, went to grad school, started a job that had me moving around the country for two years, got married, and supported my husband on his medical school and residency (and soon-to-be fellowship) journey.  In all fairness, there was no way we could’ve juggled a kid with all that we had going on for the first 4-5 years of our marriage. 

I like to think that while I once wanted kids in my 20s, Kaiden came to us at the perfect time.  I was 33 when I had K, and Vishnu was 32. 

And when I say right time, I don’t just mean age.  I mean financially, I mean in terms of my career and Vishnu’s, I mean in terms of who we are as people now vs. in our 20s, etc.

With that being said, I do think there are some benefits to starting earlier if you want and your situation allows it.  You have more energy in your 20s (and trust me kids require lots of energy).  You also have time if there are complications in getting pregnant.  There are probably more pros for this that I’m not thinking of.

But personally, since we started in our 30s, I can look back and be comforted by the fact that (FOR US!) it’s a good thing we had K when we did.  I’m so much more patient now than I was a decade ago.  I also have more control over my career and am making more money than I was in my 20s (which is helpful because daycare costs in Chicago are astronomical!).  I also feel like with Vishnu’s career being more final in a way (with med school being over and done with), it’s one thing we don’t have to think about too much.  This helps us keep the focus on K versus other career-related worries.  Vishnu and I are also much more grounded in our relationship now than ever before.  And I didn’t know it until we had Kaiden, but this is so important when you have kids. 

And not that it matters what everyone else is doing, but the majority of my friends started their families in their 30s.  Some sooner, some later, but because they put their educations and careers first, it just worked out this way.  It’s kind of cool because now our kids are all around the same age.  In fact, four of my close girlfriends and I had kids with 6-8 months of each other. 

I should also share that I have a lot of friends whose siblings had kids into their early 40s.  I know this isn’t possible for everyone, but if you’re not quite there yet with the whole idea of having kids, if you’re still trying, if you’re having trouble, please know that not all is lost at 35 like some people like to remind you. 

I know this is sort of a rambling post, but I wanted to share because I think it’s important to talk about these kinds of things.  It’s easy to think that you’re the only one experiencing something or the only one who doesn’t have everything figured out, but trust me, you’re not! 

The decision to have kids is a HUGE one (at any age!), and while it’s true that no time is the perfect time, I think it’s totally ok to start when you and your partner feel ready. 

Stepping off my soap box!  Have a great day.

P.S. Trust me, I know that some people want to start in their 20s, but because of complications and infertility aren’t able to. My heart goes out to those people, and please know I’m not in any way downplaying that. Again, just sharing my experiences with the hope that by doing so I’m helping someone.

Why We Chose to Send Our Son to Daycare

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Since starting Kaiden in daycare at 6 months old, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why we went down that path, why we didn’t go with a nanny, how we survived the daycare germs, etc.

It’s been 1.5 years since that time, so I thought I’d share our experience and insights for anyone who also ‘struggled’ with the question of which childcare option to choose.

NOTE: I’m starting and ending this post with the same sentiment – this is not a daycare vs. all other childcare options post. This is simply about our experiences to date!

The Beginning

When Vishnu and I moved to Chicago in June 2016, we weren’t pregnant, and although we were trying, childcare honestly wasn’t something we were thinking about at the time.  So when it came time to choose a place to live, we picked the building we did for lots of different reasons but not because there was a good daycare nearby.  

Fast forward to three months into my pregnancy.  We went to visit my friend Erin and her new baby at the time.  Vishnu and her husband were chatting when Shahan asked V about our childcare plans.  He mentioned that the city daycares have waiting lists (sometimes a year or longer). On our way home, Vishnu told me about this convo and how we needed to get on it quickly.  

Within a week, we had appointments at all the daycares in area.  Luckily, the one we absolutely loved had an opening for January 2018 in the young infant room.  AND it ended up being the closest option in terms of proximity to our apartment. 

Why Not a Nanny

So K’s school is four blocks from where we live.  It’s on the way to both the train for Vishnu and downtown for me.  We are VERY lucky that we can just walk him there so easily. 

We honestly didn’t consider a nanny because (at the time) we didn’t feel comfortable leaving K home with someone who would essentially be a total stranger.  Of course, we know get that you interview people and all that, but at the time, it wasn’t something we wanted to do given the school was so close to us.  Vishnu was also really adamant about daycare for the social aspect.  We wanted K to be around other kids from a younger age. K’s school also does music class, yoga and lots of other fun learning activities.  Not all nanny’s are former educators, so we definitely took this into consideration. We also loved the fact that K could attend the same school all the way to pre-K if needed.  

And finally, from a logistical standpoint, we live in a small apartment, where my ‘office’ is a small corner between the kitchen and the living area.  I work from home a lot.  If we had a nanny, I would have to go to the office every day or find another workspace.  Vishnu’s schedule also varies sometimes.  So given the lack of consistency, daycare felt like a good choice for us.

Surviving the Daycare Germs

When I talk to friends who are considering putting their kid in daycare, the first question that inevitably comes up is, “Are the germs that bad?”  I’m here to tell you that they are in fact HORRIBLE!

Not to scare anyone, but within the first week of Kaiden starting school, he had a nasty stomach bug that literally took me and Vishnu down too.

Let’s put it this way.  2018 was hell in terms of K being sick. We (sometimes it really was the collective we) experienced everything from colds to stomach bugs to hand foot mouth to Roseola to ear infections to random fevers.  

BUT…the plus side to all of that is K’s immune systems is definitely stronger now.  2019 has been pretty good to us so far.  He’s only had two random fevers that went away in a couple of days.  He’s also had a runny nose here and there but that too goes away fairly quickly.  

From what I’ve been told (by other daycare parents) is that while the first 12-18 months are rough, your kids are so much less likely to get sick when they enter pre-K and beyond. FINGERS CROSSED!

The bottom line is if you put your kid in daycare expect them to be sick for a while.  And once you’re past that, relish in it!

Daycare Costs

Daycare, especially where we send K, is expensive.  It’s essentially rent 2.0 for us.  However, this is the place we wanted, so we sucked it up.

In terms of the comparison between a nanny and daycare, daycare still works out to be cheaper in Chicago, even when using the lowest hourly rate.  

What I Would Have Done Differently Knowing What I Know Now

Well, for starters, I wish I could’ve taken off a whole year to be with K.  But that wasn’t possible.  I got 16 weeks of maternity leave and then my dad came to watch K for a couple of months to close the gap.  My dad did offer to stay with us until Kaiden turned one, but we told him it was ok.  I didn’t want to take him away from my mom for so long!

I don’t know what Vishnu would say, but in all honesty, I wish we had waited until K was one to start daycare.  Looking back, six months feels a little too young.  But we did what we did with the information and knowledge we had on hand at the time.  #noregrets

How Kaiden is Doing in Daycare Now

Kaiden adjusted quite well to daycare from the beginning.  The only time he has trouble is when he transitions to a new classroom.  Other than that, he loves school.  Right now, I think yoga Tuesday is his favorite.  

I think you’ll hear this from a lot of daycare parents, but kids are so different when they’re there versus at home.  K eats the majority of his food at school (even things he won’t touch at home).  He naps for the full two hours, which as you guys know, is hit or miss at home.  It’s honestly great!

Well, I think that covers the question of why we chose to send K to daycare.  Like I said, this was not meant to be a daycare vs. all other options type of posts. I do think it gets a bad rep sometimes, so I want to give parents-to-be and new parents some sense of relief that you’re not bad parents for sending your kid to daycare!  Any option that works for you and your child is a GREAT ONE! 

If I missed anything or if you have any additional questions, leave a comment below or send me an email!

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