My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

State of Our Household – 3.5 Years Old

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Kaiden is officially 3.5 years old! We have a full blown little man on our hands, y’all. He literally sounds like a teenager sometimes (which can be funny or not so much depending on the day).

I think I’ve said this with every age, but I love 3. It’s challenging and frustrating at times, but I love all the cuteness that comes with it (especially the things he says).

With that, here’s how our household is doing at 3.5…

State of Kaiden

Physically, Kaiden is on the smaller side when it comes to weight, but this doesn’t surprise me given that Vishnu was pretty small as a young kid too. Surprisingly, he seems to be a little taller than what we would’ve expected, given that no one is a giant in our families.

Mentally, this kid is as smart as a whip. And it’s not because I’m biased. He is intellectually doing really well (also per his teachers). He understand more than we would ever expect and remembers that much more. While he’s not reading or writing much just yet, his ability to comprehend and put two and two together just blows my mind.

Emotionally, he just gets it too. Not always with his own emotions, but in terms of how certain things would make others feel. He can read a room really well.

Speaking of his own emotions, K is still very much allergic to any word that sounds like no. And when he wants something, he wants it. And when he doesn’t want something he doesn’t want it. The kid’s stubborn! His meltdowns can be pretty epic, but I think we’re getting good at predicting them and bracing ourselves. We’re also working on setting more firm boundaries and then letting him feel what he wants to feel about them. He’s entitled to that, and while he may not love them, boundaries are incredibly important.

In terms of food, K is so hit or miss at home. Sometimes he loves something and sometimes it’s ‘yucky.’ There are some dishes that I can be 99% sure will be a hit, so I tend to rotate those more regularly. But he still loves most veggies, fruits, cheese, pasta (specifically mac n’ cheese) and bread. Thankfully, he still eats well at daycare, so at least there’s that!

In terms of play, the biggest development is K’s love for pretend play, and I’m here for it! He loves to pretend and turn ordinary objects into castles and wands, etc. I’m so thankful for this because it means we don’t need too many toys to keep him occupied. Not that we have much room for more stuff!

And finally, he’s getting into slightly longer books (but still loves his shorter picture books), so I’m thinking about getting him some chapter books we can work through. Should be fun!

So that sums up Kaiden at 3.5. Let’s move on to how mama and dada are doing…

State of Mama

Oh man! As much as I want to pull my hair out sometimes, this sweet little boy has my whole heart plus some. He’s so full of kindness and understanding and joy, and I’m so thankful he’s mine!

In terms of how I’m doing, things are going well. It’s a bit of a juggle with full-time work, Awarify, Kaiden, Vishnu’s schedule, and home stuff. Phew! But I’m learning to let some stuff fall through the cracks when it doesn’t really matter. Haven’t perfected this yet, but I’m trying.

I feel like since I started my coaching program, I’m starting to become so much more aware of my own thoughts and if they’re serving me or not. I’ve always thought of myself as a somewhat aware person, but I wasn’t…it take a lot of deep work and introspection and I’m working on it and discovering new things about myself. This is all to say that this new level of awareness is helping tremendously with my parenting. I’m learning new ways to think about things so they don’t get to me or don’t become a big issue.

I have some ambitious goals for 2021, but I’m tempering any expectations I place on myself, others, and any external situations. Given the year we’ve had, I think it’s better to stay agile when possible. Nonetheless, I’m excited for a new year and some light at the end of the tunnel.

Overall, I’m doing well and looking forward to new adventures with my kiddo!

State of Dada

Dada is BUSY! Lol! Fellowship is a lot of work and responsibility, but we’re lucky that Vishnu’s program is super organized and we know all his call/weekend dates ahead of time. This is the last leg of our medical training journey…next up is attendingship! I’ll be sharing more about that soon!

Vishnu and Kaiden have a really fun and rowdy relationship right now! I suspect it’ll stay that way for a while! I think K also looks to Vishnu as his source of calm because he’s so steady through all the emotions and ups and downs.

I will say that Vishnu is less emotional than me, so while he gives his love to K so openly and freely, he’s also less all over the place. Something I need to learn from him.

Overall, Vishnu’s doing well and really enjoying this age too, although a few times a week, he’ll tell me he’s sad Kaiden is growing up and won’t remain so little for long. #truethat

And that, my friends, is how our household is faring right now. I wish this update was a bit more exciting, but you know…these are Covid times. Hopefully year 4 will bring some better news with it!

State of Our Household – THREE YEARS OLD!

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We officially have a three year old on our hands! WHAT?!

I know this is the most cliche thing to say on your child’s birthday, but I remember every last detail of the days leading up to my delivery with so much clarity. If you want to know more about how Kaiden was brought into the world, read his birth story.

Anyways, let’s get to the details of this post and see how each member of our household is doing!

State of Kaiden

Oh how Mr. K has grown! I feel like just over the past three months, he’s grown in leaps and bounds. Some days, I feel like he’s three going on thirteen. But this age is still so much fun! You don’t know what he’s going to do or say…that element of surprise is a real thing, y’all!

In terms of his personality, he’s one of the funniest people I know! He’s so witty and knows how to get laughs. And if you don’t laugh, he’ll look at you and say, “LAUGH!” Well, ok then! He’s also really sweet. He doesn’t like to see people upset or hurt. I hope his sense of empathy only gets stronger as he gets older. In some ways, Kaiden is like me, he’s super emotional and can get upset quickly, but he gets over the situation quickly. He doesn’t hold grudges. What else? He’s also very stubborn (like most three year olds?!). Kaiden is always down for a good time. It takes him a bit to warm up to people, but once he does, there’s no stopping him!

In terms of sleep, we’re doing well. He goes down between 7:30-7:45p every night (although the antics have definitely started where he tries to keep me in the room as long as he can!), but he’ll fall asleep anywhere from the minute his head hits his pillow to 9 pm. Before he started school again, he was waking up between 7:15-7:30a most days, and now he’s up between 6-7a. Not an easy transition for his parents either! Naps are hit or miss, mostly still hits (those days are rough!). I think pushing his nap time back to 1:30p (vs. 1:00p) may help. We’ll see!

He’s still a pretty good eater. K loves most things, but it does take a bit to get him to the table. Once he’s there, he’s good. Like most kids, we still have our days where he doesn’t want to eat something and will say he’s full after a few bites. It takes everything in me to just be ok with that, but I’m trying! I want him to listen to his hunger cues, so I’m going to chalk it up to him truly not needing any food. Who knows!

Kaiden is now talking a ton! It’s incredible to see and probably one of my favorite developments over the past year. His vocab is pretty great, but what gets me is how much he can say in the correct context. It’s insane!

Like most toddlers, K doesn’t like hearing no or being told what to do. So we have to get creative! Ha! But I will say, if we can just stay calm and meet him on his level, he’s pretty good. It’s not like he won’t budge.

I know this is a very biased this to say, but I think I have the cutest, sweetest, happiest baby boy in the whole world! He really is the best, and I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!

State of Mama

Mama is doing well! I really do love this age, so even though things get rough from time to time, I find that it’s easier to handle.

Quarantine was interesting. If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that work + K wasn’t easy. Something I haven’t talked much about yet is self-care and energy management. I did/do work out every day, but I still haven’t been able to drop the pounds I gained last October. I was on a good path up until mid-March, and then it all went downhill. So I’m trying to focus on regular movement and healthier eating. Easier said than done, but I’m trying!

Other than that, I need to get on a better night time routine. I haven’t been going to sleep at a consistent time, and it shows! Every Monday, I tell myself this is my week! But nope. Two days in and I’m all over the place again. Let’s say this one is a work in progress.

Other than that, everything is the same old!

State of Dada

Vishnu graduated residency earlier this month, which was a momentous occasion for us! Woo hoo!

He’s now gearing up for fellowship and all that brings. It’s going to be a busy year!

Other than that, I’m happy to report that Kaiden and Vishnu’s relationship is the strongest it’s ever been. K is still very much a mama’s boy, but he loves his dada…always asking for him and wanting to wrestle with him! It’s fun to watch, and also a big relief because I’m not the only one he will go to! Woo hoo!

I’ll share another update at 3.5. I love rereading these posts and thinking back on little K!

Kaiden Starts Preschool!

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I shared on my IG page that Kaiden started back at school (PRESCHOOL!) this past Monday, and I just have to say that I love my little community…so much support and love for that little announcement.

I thought I would share a little more detail behind our thinking for sending him back, what his school is doing to minimize risk, how K is doing, how I’m doing etc. because while not everyone is in our same boat, I think reading/hearing other people’s perspective, especially in a situation like this, is helpful.

Our thinking behind sending K back

So the plan was always to send Kaiden back when Vishnu started fellowship, if school was open and if we were comfortable with the situation here in Chicago. This would’ve been on July 6th had we stuck to our original plan.

We opted to send him back two weeks sooner for a few different reasons. One, you guys, Kaiden was so bored at home and getting super restless. Vishnu spent one morning with him and was like, “Par, he has to go back sooner than later.” So we talked and decided this past Monday was a good time to start back.

Two, my work day can be VERY call heavy. Some days, I have up to 6 hours of calls. Juggling that, with work that needs to get down after my calls, plus Kaiden is A LOT. I’ve been able to manage the past few months because Vishnu’s been home more. But once he starts fellowship on July 1st, I’m on my own for the entire day plus some.

Three, our school has been very proactive with everything and ensuring proper protocol was in place before they opened. That gave us a lot of comfort in our decision (for now).

And four, Kaiden thrives when he has some structure, and as much as I want to provide him that at home, it’s impossible given how much my work schedule varies. And the opportunities he gets to socialize, learn and develop at school just aren’t possible at home right now.

New protocols at school

As happy as I am that our school is super strict about their operations now, it also makes me sad that things won’t go back to the way they were any time soon.

Anyways, in terms of new protocols, let’s start with drop off. No more stroller storage. Only one parents (with mask) allowed in the school lobby for drop off. Only two families in the lobby at a time (6 ft. apart of course). Temperature checks for child and parent. Hand sanitizer for child and parent. Teacher takes child to classroom (I haven’t even seen Kaiden’s new room yet!).

In terms of the day to day – trying to get kids to wear masks when possible. Kids are kept apart as much as possible (for example, when sitting for story time, they are spread out on the rug versus right next to each other). Lots of handwashing. Lots of outside time. No mixing of teachers and kids between classrooms. All teachers and administrators wear masks 100% of the time. No outside teachers/class – so music, Spanish, and yoga is virtually done. Reduced hours (used to be 7a-6:30p, now 8a-5p)

Then for pickup – only one parent again (with mask). And a quick departure!

How Kaiden is doing

Ok, so Monday was ok until I gave him a hug goodbye. That’s when he started screaming, “I just want to go home.” His teacher was right there and whisked him away very quickly. I called later in the day to see how he was doing and was told he only cried for 5 minutes. At pickup that day, he was all smiles and a chatty Cathy!

On Tuesday, he started crying the minute we stepped out of our apartment and didn’t really stop. Again, they told me he calmed down pretty quickly. And like clockwork, Mr. K was super happy at pickup. We went to the park after school and looked for helicopters and sticks. He didn’t stop talking the whole time;

That brings me to day 3 (yesterday). He cried a little at home an hour before we had to leave, but I told him we weren’t going anywhere yet, so he calmed down quickly. And then, like I had been since last Friday, I talked about how brave and strong he is. And how it’s ok to miss mama and dada, but just like every other day, I would be there to pick him up in a few hours. I then talked the whole way to daycare and played little games to distract him. We let him bring Mr. Elephant given I would have to bring him back home. HE DIDN’T SHED A SINGLE TEAR! Something I said must’ve stuck because he was so strong and brave! So very proud of my little guy! And pickup was again a cinch.

So while Kaiden is super happy when I pick him up and very chatty, he still has random meltdowns once we’re home. He is almost 3 after all!

Overall, I think it was a good decision to send him back because, like I said, he’s like me and thrives with a bit structure like me!

How mama is doing

When Vishnu fist mentioned sending K back 2 weeks early, I broke down and cried. I wasn’t against the idea…it just caught me off guard. I had July 6 in my mind and was planning towards that.

I was honestly fine with everything (day before, morning of, drop off) until we came home that first morning to a Kaiden-less apartment. I sobbed for 5 minutes before getting to work. I definitely watched videos of Kaiden whenever I could and eagerly waited for updates from the school. I did my best to keep my mind off the fact that he wasn’t home with us. But I couldn’t help but look back at the couch imagining him sitting there talking to me or asking me for more milk! Overall, I did better than I thought I would!

The next two days were honestly fine. I still miss him obviously, but my main focus is to help him transition and bringing my emotion into it won’t help…it’ll only make him more nervous.

With that, I will say that I have this voice in my head telling me to not get comfortable with our new routine. Things could change at any time. So per my mama mantra, I’m taking things one day at a time and hoping for the best – for the teachers, for the parents, and especially for the students!

If you have any questions, leave them in the comment box or message me at myinnershakti@gmail.com. Happy to share more!

Covid-19: Finding Balance for Working Families

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As I mentioned on Instagram last week, I led a webinar at work for working families. My team, as a whole, is running a series of webinars for our organisation to help people cope with this crisis and feel less alone.

The content of our webinar was pretty good, but I couldn’t have guessed how much it would resonate with people. We have requests to do more calls because people really need and want the support.

I figured it would be good to share this information on the blog as well, since so many of you are working parents who are now working from home with your kids. And honestly speaking, I think some of this information applies to parents who aren’t working from home (for a company) but just at home with their kids.

Hope you find something useful for your situation. Here we go…

What I want to share today are the top tips we discussed as a group. Of course, these are just a few of many, but these resonated with us as working parents.

Work Life

Don’t expect to work at your normal capacity – I read in an article that said, “Take the to-do list you had for today and cut it in half, then cut it in half again,”  That made me laugh! Everyone is going to be less productive during this time. Being proactive with your manager and co-workers and setting realistic expectations about what you can accomplish is necessary to prevent misunderstandings down the line.

Open and ongoing conversations – It’s not always easy to talk to your boss or colleagues in an open way about your family, especially when that means you will be working odd hours and may not deliver things during the traditional time. Regardless, it’s important to have these conversations and to be transparent when doing so. You team needs to understand what you’re facing right now. That’s the only way they will know what to expect and how to support you.

Agree on how and when you will communicate – Where possible, establish a schedule with your availability and put it in your work calendar. This will provide clarity for your team. Try to keep your out-of-office up to date as well. The more you can share, the better.  Establish with your manager the frequency with which you will both communicate as well as the format that will work best (email, calls, etc). 

Align your priorities – Your business priorities may have shifted. Establish what your new priorities are and get buy-in from your line manager.  And where possible, work with your manager to establish achievable timelines for your new priorities. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE – And most importantly, please remember that you are not alone at this time.  There are millions of people just like you who are trying to work, raise kids, and survive this virus. If you ever feel alone and don’t know where to turn, shoot me an email (myinnershakti@gmail.com). I’m always here!

Home + Kid Life

Self care – Harvard Business Review published an article in March where the author responsible for popularising the grief cycle explains how the ‘discomfort you are feeling’ right now is grief. This brings a range of emotions: grief over things that have changed or fear over what we may lose, along with anxiety, frustration, anger, bewilderment, sadness. With that being said, it’s important that we put on our own oxygen masks first, regardless of whether that’s before our kids or our colleagues. Taking care of yourself is key at a time like this.

Prioritize your schedule – Think through your most important tasks every day (2-3 at most) and figure out how to build your day around those.  Maybe that involves shift work with your partner, maybe it’s TV time, maybe it’s setting up activities the night before so your kids are occupied in the morning or whenever your important calls are.  This will look different for each of us, but it’s important to prioritize on a daily basis for both work as well as your home life and structure your day around those key things.

Protect your family life – If you live with a partner, try to ensure you are taking a fair share. Fair doesn’t necessarily mean the same or equal. But it is a balance that is fair for each of you given your individual responsibilities, pressures, and strengths. Also, make sure each parent has a share of the easier/more fun aspects of family life.  Put a plan together but be prepared to flex and/or rewrite it. Consider a quick family meeting each night to work out what’s happening the next day. Find time to talk through what worked/what didn’t work.

Define your temporary parenting principles – Maybe this is related to screen time and how much your kids get now versus how much time you allocated previously; maybe this means more frozen foods now whereas before your kids were eating fresh fruit and veggies; maybe this means more ice cream; or maybe a movie night three times a week.  These are unprecedented times, and temporarily changing your parenting principles/approach is OK and sometimes necessary for all parties!

Distance learning is a challenge for everyone – We’re not teachers.  We didn’t go to school for this. In fact, we had no time to prepare for this monumental shift. So instead of stressing out yourself and your kids, try to incorporate learning into everyday tasks and be more of an educational buddy.  This is more about survival than teaching the ABCs or times table.

The stories and anecdotes that were shared were awesome too. I honestly related to everything everyone said.

The bottom line is that we’re lucky to still have our jobs, but this is still hard. There’s lots of guilt, frustration, etc. But in the same breath, we’re lucky to be home with our babies – safe and sound.

I’ll share more of my insights and thoughts as we continue with more webinars and life at home with our kids…while trying to work. Ay ay ay!

Please stay at home, people. This virus is not pretty and we all need to do our part to keep everyone safe.

Our Experience Using a Toddler Sleep Clock

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Sleep (or the lack thereof) and parenthood often go hand in hand. Like I’ve said before, I was naive enough to think that our sleep woes would end once Kaiden was a toddler. But no. We’ve experienced every regression plus some!

For my long time readers, you know that K often woke up quite early. No matter what we tried (going to sleep earlier, going to sleep later, changing up his bedtime routine, etc.), he consistently woke up in the 5 o’clock hour (if not earlier). And this is as recently as November/December 2019.

One night, as we laid our exhausted heads to bed, I asked Vishnu what he thought of a toddler clock. After sharing my sleep woes on Instagram, a few followers recommended getting one. He said he was willing to try anything to get Kaiden to sleep until 6:00. Ha!

After looking up a few of the ones that were recommended to me, we finally settled on the LittleHippo Mella Read to Rise Children’s Sleep Trainer Clock. There was no rhyme or reason as to why we chose this one to be honest…more than anything it had better reviews that the rest.

So this clock is really simple. You essentially set your child’s sleep time and you set the wake time, and then thirty minutes before the wake time, the ring around the clock turns yellow. This is to help the child slowly wake up (more on our experience with this in a minute). Then when it’s your scheduled wake time, the ring turns green. In most, cases, this is when your child can get of bed or call out to you.

In our experience, the yellow light would cause Kaiden to wake up…and not slowly! So instead of telling him he had to wait for the green light to call out for us, we tell him to wait for the yellow light. We set the clock to a 6:30 am wake up time so that the yellow ring turns on at 6:00 am.

If I’m making this sound complicated, please know that it’s not! Just takes some adjusting based on your child.

A few notes…

Don’t assume this will work from day 1. Some days, Kaiden still wakes up at 5:45, and I have to go in and lay on the bed and tell him he has to wait to get up until he sees the yellow light. Depending on when you start, it will take your toddler some time to adjust to a clock wake up.

We do change the wake up time on the weekends to 7:30 in the hopes that K sleeps until 7. This has worked a handful of times!

How I like to face the clock on Friday and Saturday nights. I feel like not having the bright yellow light shining over his crib helps him sleep a little later. Just a theory on my part…who knows!

This clock has other features like an alarm, a nightlight, etc. We don’t use them (yet) but you get more for your buck than what we use it for.

Anyways, like I said, this was not a magical sleep solution for us, but it has worked wonders! Kaiden has slept longer with this than when we did anything else. Fingers crossed that it only gets better from here!

Let me know if you have any questions (in the comments), and most importantly, if you are dealing with a toddler who doesn’t love to sleep in, know that you’re not alone!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

The Start of Potty Training

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I say the ‘start’ because I think it’s going to take a bit longer than I originally imagined it would. There are people who claim they’ve potty trained their kids in 3 days flat, and I thought I was going to be one of those moms. Turned out I was wrong! But that’s ok. This is truly one of those things you have to do at your child’s pace.

I got a lot of questions and requests on IG to share what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, the products we’re using, tips, tricks, etc. So that’s what today’s post is about. But please note, we are not some magical success story. Like I said, this is going to be a journey for us and this is just the starts.

Why now?

A lot of people told us we were starting too early. But I really wanted to start right after K turned 2.5 for a few reasons. One – in case it didn’t go according to plan and took longer, we’d have more time (and that’s what happened). Two – his school won’t move him up to the next classroom until he’s potty trained. Three – I have some travel coming up between now and the middle of the year, so I needed to factor that in when thinking about Kaiden and what he would need at this time. Essentially, for K, it’s better to have minimal disruptions to his routine for him to feel comfortable with something as big as this.

Approach

Ok, so because I wanted to see if the 3 day method would work for us, I had Vishnu take a Friday off (I already have off), and we kept K home from school too.

The plan was to stay home Friday-Sunday and take Kaiden to the potty every 15 minutes. We did that…kind of. It didn’t end up being every 15 minutes because after a few rounds Kaiden was getting super annoyed. Haha! We kept him commando from the waist down the first 1.5 days and then let him wear underwear. Also, if K successfully went pee in the potty, he got one M&M. And if we went poop (which he didn’t), he would get two M&Ms.

We also transitioned him out of diapers and only used Pull Ups for naps and night time sleep.

We did end up leaving the house for soccer class on Sunday because I think we were all a little crazed from being inside for so long!

So that was our ‘simple’ approach. We didn’t quite stick with the original plan as strictly as we probably should have, but in retrospect, I think we’re fine!

I would never include pics from K’s potty training journey any where, especially not on a public blog. So instead, you get a cute picture of him sleeping! Ha!

Where are we now?

It’s been a little over 10 days since our introduction to potty training, and I’d say Kaiden is getting the hang of it slowly but surely. He does fairly well with peeing in the potty, tell us when he has to go, can thankfully hold it, etc. That being said, he still has accidents, especially when he’s distracted!

In terms of pooping in the potty, he’s not there yet. And I read that this part can take a lot longer. We did have one semi-victorious incident, but that’s it!

We’re lucky in that Kaiden’s school also works with him/us on this journey. There’s a potty in his room, and the thinking is they also learn by watching other kids go. And his teachers are great about taking him regularly and talking to him about the experience (sounds strange but telling a toddler they’re turning the potty water yellow is a great way to get them to go!).

Final Thoughts

Expect this to be a longish process and really just go with your kid’s flow (literally!). Like most things parenting, your experience will just depend. Don’t compare yourself to other people and their experiences…just do what’s best for your child. They will eventually get it!

For us, I’m hoping that in the next couple of months, we’re able to say we’re daytime potty trained! Fingers crossed!

A few other notes – expect some type of regression when starting this process. For K, it was in the sleeping and behavior department. His nighttime sleep was punctuated with random wake ups, so we had to work through that for a few days. And he went from being independent and generally really happy to whiny and clingy (with me!). Thankfully both were short lived! And finally, try to stay as calm as possible. This can bring out some frustration from you and your partner (I speak from experience) but know that it does get easier and focus on the wins!

Tools

Here are some of the tools we used to help us get started…

Underwear – I got K three packs of this Sesame Street underwear since he loves the show and all the characters! It runs a little small, so keep that in mind when ordering.

At home potty seat – We opted to not get a separate mini potty for K, as a lot of friends (and his teachers) told us that would be yet another thing to ween him off. We really like this particular seat – basic but does the job!

Folding (portable) potty seat – We have yet to use this, but I keep it folded and in K’s diaper bag for when he starts going places without his Pull Ups!

Chucks – So I had no idea what a chuck was prior to starting this process. Vishnu brought some home from work and told me that we had to use them (we asked my BIL to also bring some home – helps to know doctors!). We kept one on the couch and one by K’s potty, and boy did these bad boys come in handy! Especially when we had messy accidents. Having a chuck around made clean up a lot easier. They aren’t cheap by any means, but this is definitely a must have IMO!

Leave any questions you have in the comments! OR if you’re an experienced parent who’s been through this before, please share your thoughts, ideas, tips, product recs, etc.

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

State of Our Household [2.5 Years]

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First of all, I can’t believe Kaiden is 2.5. I know it’s the most cliche thing to say, but time really does fly when you have a little human in your life. Zoom zoom!

Overall, 2.5 feels like such a turning point. I’ve seen such a change in K in small ways and big over the past six months. Putting aside the fact that I’m his mom, it’s been so amazing to witness. Like how did my little mush of a baby turn into such a big boy?!

With that, let’s dive right in…

State of Kaiden

Let’s kick this off on a positive note. Kaiden is an incredibly sweet and kind child. While he’s not super outgoing, he thrives when he’s around people. You can just see his eyes light up when he’s with loved ones! One of my favorite things about him is that he is empathetic. Ok fine, maybe not fully, but I can tell that he feels for others by his actions and words.

Kaiden is also still very much a mama’s boy! And I can’t lie…I love it. We’ll be sitting on the couch together, and he’ll randomly look at me and say, “HUG!” So I have to put down whatever I’m holding and hug him! My heart! My favorite thing to do with him is just cuddle and hold him super tight…and cover him with kisses! Not looking forward to the day when he doesn’t want to do that anymore…

Personality wise…the other thing about him that stands out for me is his sense of humor. He’s a funny guy! While he’s not exactly cracking jokes just yet, he definitely has some really good comedic timing. I don’t quite get how a 2.5 year old can say things at the perfect time, but this guy…he’s full of surprises! Hand in hand with this, he loves to laugh. And trust me when I say, his laugh is contagious!

In terms of food and sleep, we’re doing great with one and ok with the other. Can you guess which is which? He loves food and will try most things. It’s still hard to get him to focus on eating sometimes, but we’re working on it. He still loves Indian food, pasta, and almost all fruits and veggies. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have days/nights where a picky little monster comes out, but most days, he’s good.

In terms of sleep, we were doing really well and then potty training (more on this next week) came along and all of that went out the window. We can usually put him down at 7:30 and expect him to wake up between 5:30-6. Nowadays, I’m in his room about 3x between 7:30-8 just to get him to fall asleep. He’s also up multiple times throughout the night and then he still wakes up at 5:30 most days. Man, oh, man! I thought sleep would be the least of our worries as he got older…I was wrong! I’m hoping as the potty becomes his new norm, we can ease back into more sleep. Fingers crossed!

Developmentally, my favorite thing over the past six months has been his language and cognitive development. I don’t know how many words he knows, but it’s a lot! He speaks in full sentences, asks questions, and even infers things from what we say. CRAZINESS! In terms of cognitive development, he really as a great memory and can remember things we’ve told him or that he’s seen/heard days later. I just love watching that little brain work!

Physically, he’s a little on the smaller side, but our pediatrician said that he comes from a smaller family so we can’t expect him to be huge. HAHA. But don’t let my skinny man fool you. He’s got energy for DAYS! He is always on the move. And I don’t like being that mom who brags, but I really do think we have a little soccer star on our hands. Even Vishnu thinks so! He’s great at handling the ball, and has a really strong kick. I’m so glad we enrolled him in soccer classes, only because they help him burn off some of his energy and do something he loves and is good at!

With that being said, Kaiden’s favorite things are still balls. Any and all balls! You guys, he’s obsessed. He’s also into legos and just random items…mostly things that he can knock down with…you guessed it…balls! I actually love that he’s not a toys kid. He can literally turn anything into something. #likehisdaddy

With ALL of that being said, there are a few things we are working on. First, when Kaiden gets upset (usually when we are upset with him), he gets mad. When he gets mad, he tries to hit us. And he also uses the phrase, ‘Go away!’ When he does this, I have to take him in his room and talk to him very calmly about why we don’t do and say those kinds of things. Now, randomly, he’ll say, “Don’t say go away.” As in, I’m not supposed to say that, right? We’re working on it!

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we have embarked on our potty training journey. It’s…interesting. I have hope that we’ll get there in a couple of months, but like everyone who’s done this before says, you have to go at your kid’s pace.

And of course, there are those toddler meltdowns and tantrums that often come of left field. I’m at a point now where I tell him that when’s done feeling his feelings mommy will talk to him.

Other than THAT, we’re all good over here. HAHA! #alwayssomething

State of Mama

You guys, this is probably the best I’ve felt in the past 2.5 years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a beautiful and magical time, but it’s also been hard. But now, I feel like I’m in my groove with being a mom (not saying I have all the answers, just that I feel like I can navigate the ups and downs with more confidence), Vishnu and I are solid, work is going really well, I have something really exciting happening in the background (more to come when I can share…promise!), I’ve found some great friends in Chicago, etc.

My mom shared with me that she sees a difference in how relaxed I am now versus before. She said that things don’t seem to stress me out as much now. I think a lot of that has to do with the kind of kid Kaiden is. He really is a lot of fun 90% of the time.

So year, overall, things are good. It’s always a juggle trying to balance work, home, family, friends, travel, etc., and it still stresses me out when things start to pile up, but I’m slowly learning that everything works out as it should. Stressing about it only makes the situation worse.

State of Dada

You guys, since we found out that Vishnu matched for fellowship AND that he passed his boards, he has been the most relaxed I’ve seen him in the past eight years. It’s like my old Vishnu is back! I’ll take him for as long as this lasts, as stress is kind of a given in medicine.

Most importantly, this means that Vishnu and Kaiden have been able to spend more time together in the past six months, which I know means the world to Vishnu. We were even able to celebrate our first Christmas as a family this year!

Vishnu still has other work responsibilities that take up his time and a few other things happening in the background, but overall, I think he’s doing well. He’s taking better care of his health too, which makes me so happy!

Next up, fellowship (another busy year!) and job hunting!

Can you believe that in less than 1.5 years, we’ll be moving again…and hopefully to our forever city! I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, that’s all I have folks! If you got this far, thank you for reading and caring about my little family. 🙂

Until next time!

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