My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Weekend Recap – The One Before Baby Girl

written by Leave a Comment

This was our last weekend as a family of three! It’s hard to believe she’ll be here so so soon (starting this post on Saturday night). I wanted to document this time because I’m sure I’ll look back in the near future and want to recall some memories.

In some ways, this was the exact weekend we wanted/needed. And in other ways, it wasn’t what I imagined it would be.

FRIDAY

Friday was mine and Vishnu’s last day of vacay. We dropped Kaiden off to school in the morning and headed to the hospital for my Covid test…a pretty simple process. Vishnu dropped me off at home afterwards and headed out for more errands (Costco run, gas, car wash). And I sat my butt on the couch and watched Baby Sitter’s Club on Netflix (season 2 was just released!).

Once VIshnu was home, we ate lunch and headed to our final doctor’s appointment. The appointment went well overall. We had an ultrasound done (love this part!) and a stress-test, which took forever. Apparently, baby girl was moving a ton so that kept messing up a part of the results. We were there for 2 hours!

Once home, I reparked my butt on the couch and watched another BSC episode. Before I knew it, it was time to go get Kaiden (which Vishnu did because at this point, I’m not driving or going anywhere I don’t absolutely have to).

Then…it was play (mostly draw and color/run around), dinner (I made a pineapple, tofu, coconut rice dish. Kaiden ate rice and small bites of everything else), bath, PT exercises, and bed.

Vishnu and I settled in on the couch (yet again) and watched two episodes of Sex Education (on Netflix). Loving this show so far!

SATURDAY

Saturday morning started off fun, with Kaiden letting me lay in his bed for about an hour while he played. This was much needed because mama has not been sleeping that well at night.

We then hit a rough patch or two with Kaiden and some frustrations over what seemed like small things to me at least. But I kept my cool and we rode that wave relatively quickly.

We then ate breakfast and let Kaiden watch a bit of TV which Vishnu and I adulted over some health insurance stuff! Ha!

The next couple of hours were spent running around (Kaiden…not me!), making some snacks for K for next week, and setting up a few more things around the house before baby girl arrives!

Our after lunch plans were to get some custard at a local place, but I was so tired and pretty much couldn’t get off the couch. Kaiden and Vishnu both told me it’s ok and that we could get custard tomorrow (Sunday). Love my boys.

Kaiden then watched Moana while I napped on the couch next to him. This is where things didn’t go the way we planned. This was supposed to be a family movie we watched together. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt! Luckily my little guy was very forgiving and didn’t mind watching on his own.

To make it up to him, we spent the next hour or so learning how to draw Moana from a YouTube video. I have to say, I’m not a super artistic person, but I really enjoy drawing and coloring, especially with Kaiden. It’s kind of our thing now!

I quickly pulled together a lunchbox dinner for K while Vishnu went to grab some food for the two of us. And of course, we listened to Moana songs while we ate!

Then came bath and PT exercise time. Not my finest moment to be honest. Kaiden is great at paying attention when he wants, but then when it comes to something he needs to do, he definitely zones out and goofs off (re: during his PT exercises). He knows that if he doesn’t do these every day he’ll have to wear special boots, which none of us want for him. We try to make it fun with songs and timers and whatever else we can, but sometimes it’s just so painful (for him and us). So yesterday, I just kind of lost it. I did some repair before bed, but this kid really knows how to push my obviously big buttons. We’re working on it!

After putting Kaiden to bed, I took a quick shower, Vishnu finished up Squid Games, and then the two of us settled in to finish off season one of Sex Education. It’s so good, y’all!

SUNDAY

Our last day before baby girl arrives! Sunday started a little later than normal for me because Vishnu and K let me sleep in a little. Then Kaiden got in bed with me to snuggle (never happens!) and was just so sweet. Brought tears to my eyes (and made me feel better about the night before).

We then came downstairs, ate breakfast, and got some things done around the house while Kaiden played and ran around. Tried my best to appreciate this because I know things are about to be verrrrry different for a while. Reminding myself that nothing lasts forever…enjoy it while it lasts.

The rest of the day included pumpkin carving (styrafoam from Target!), piano lessons (Kaiden loved his first lesson and his teacher), custard (finally!), and more cuddles with our soon to be big bro!

My parents are staying with Kaiden this week, since we’ll probably be at the hospital until Wednesday or Thursday. So thankful for them!

Also, I may have teared up quite a bit saying goodnight to Kaiden. So much so that even he teared up a little (not knowing why). So many emotions! So excited for him to meet his baby!

3 Months Later…

written by Leave a Comment

I can’t believe it’s been three months since I’ve blogged here. I had every intention of writing/sharing regularly, and then the fatigue and exhaustion hit. Let’s just say there was lots of falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 pm over the last three months!

Also, lots to prep for baby’s arrival, lots to get ready in the new place, and lots to transition at work prior to my maternity leave (which starts Monday!).

At this point, I think we’re ready! But really, ready or not, right?! She’s coming in <4 days!

Anyways, I thought I’d share a bit about the past three months (well, what I can remember of it) since this blog has always been a space for me to document life as it happens. When pregnant with Kaiden, I shared a bit more regularly and wish I had done that this time around because it’s fun for me to go back and read about what life was like at X weeks pregnant. But such is life when you’re expecting the second time around, have a four year old that needs your energy, and a husband who just started a new big job. And oh yeah, you moved across the country in the middle of all of this!

KAIDEN – Mr. K has fully adjusted to his new school here in GA, which is a huge relief because that definitely wasn’t the case for about 1.5 months. If you follow me on IG, you know that summer soccer was a bust, but we start piano this Sunday and both Vishnu and I think this may be something right up his alley. He’s definitely showing us that he loves art/using his creative side. His piano teacher shared that for this age group she likes to incorporate movement and song so it’s more of a holistic learning experience. I think K will love that!

Other than that, he’s your typical four year old who sometimes thinks he’s 14! I love this age because language and logic are starting to come together, and while it all should make sense, there’s certain phrases he’ll use or things he’ll say that’ll make us laugh because he doesn’t quite understand the meaning behind something. For example, he was drawing a picture for my sister the other day and wanted to draw hearts. He looked over at me and said, “Mama, I’m making love. But it’s a different kind of love.” So sweet but also making love. HA! I love it!

In terms of baby sis, I honestly have no idea how K is going to handle this huge change. Part of me thinks he’ll adjust fine and part of me knows it’s going to be a while before he feels like his new normal is normal. Whatever it is, we’re going to take things one day at a time and make every effort to ensure Kaiden feels special and loved and needed. Wish us luck!

VISHNU AND PAR – Vishnu and I are doing well. The other day, we both confessed to each other that the thing we’re most nervous about with this new baby is the lack of sleep. It sounds so selfish, but we know how brutal (and short-lived in the grand scheme of things) it is. After a couple of years of normal sleep, we’re not looking forward to reverting back. HOWEVER, this is the last time we’ll be experiencing this with a cute little housemate, so there’s that! She’ll be 110% worth it!

I’m also nervous about the whole breastfeeding/pumping situation. With K I was an exclusive pumper. Not sure what direction little miss will take us down, but I’m promising to give myself grace when it comes to this part of the process. Exclusive pumping did a number on my mental state the last time around, so I’m letting go of any expectations and planning (at this point) to be happy with whatever happens. Woo sah!

Like I shared earlier, Vishnu started his new job at the beginning of August and loves it! Big relief! And I will say radiology attending life is SO MUCH better than residency/fellowship. No overnight call, some work from home shifts, decent hours…loving it! I’m hoping all of this translates to him being more present with the baby. With K, he was a new second year resident (the hardest year of residency) and worked a ton. He then had a 3 week stint in DC, boards, fellowship interviews, fellowship itself, job hunting, etc. I need to do a more comprehensive post about this time in our life, but it sure was hectic!

I’m on vacation this week and start maternity leave on Monday. I’ve transitioned all of my work stuff over to a few different people and feel good about that. Ready to take on my newest role as mama of 2! But in all seriousness, I definitely more prepared this time around (at least logistically). I also think I have much more realistic expectations of motherhood and what the first 6-12 months will be like. And most importantly, I have a true village that’s ready to step in at a moments notice, including a therapist (absolutely key for me!).

WE READY!

MISCELLANEOUS UPDATES

If you haven’t already jumped on the Ted Lasso bandwagon yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? DO IT! Such an amazing, feel good show! Highly recommend it.

I also binged on Never Have I Ever and actually enjoyed it! Mindy Kaling’s shows always start of strong for me and then fizzle a little, but I’m really hoping season 3 just continues to build on 1/2 with this one.

And finally, in terms of TV news, Vishnu and I start Sex Education on Netflix the other day per my sister’s insistence. It’s really good! We’re only 3 or 4 episodes in and definitely hooked!

I’ve been reading a lot lately (trying to squeeze in as much as I can!). Signing up at our local library has truly brought me joy in a way I can’t explain. I loved libraries growing up and also the fact that I’m saving lots of $$$. I’ve been checking lots of books out for Kaiden too, which is fun for everyone because it ensures we have a steady rotation every night and aren’t stuck reading the same superhero book. HA!

If you follow me on IG, you know that I recently started using PanOxyl for my pregnancy acne. It’s a freaking miracle in a face wash, y’all! In a short 1.5 weeks, my acne has started to clear up in a way I’ve never seen before. INCREDIBLE STUFF! Wish I hadn’t waited so long to try this, especially given that Vishnu’s been using it since the start of the pandemic. LOL!

I also recently purchased Inde Wild’s Vitamin C and Bakuchiol because they’re safe for breastfeeding, etc. I’ll report back on how my skin responds in a few weeks.

There’s probably so much more that I’m not sharing, BUT (like I always say but fail to commit to!), I plan to share more here in the coming months. I love how there’s no caption limit, there’s no worry about numbers/algorithms, etc. and I can pretty much write free form (excuse any typos or grammar mistakes please!). MIS the OG blog is really jam!

Lots more to come soon!

Written on Related:Baby, Life

Just a Few Changes in 2021

written by Leave a Comment

Hi everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here. Not sure how often I’ll be checking in, but I truly do hope it’s more regularly, as we have a lot of changes coming up over the next few months, and I’d love to have some of it documented here for recollection later!

If you follow me on Instagram, most of these changes won’t be new. But I do have one that is…so keep reading!

First big update is that we’re expecting a baby girl in October! Check out this post for Kaiden’s perspective! I’ll be 18 weeks on Sunday, and I’m feeling pretty good so far. The first trimester was a little difficult in a few ways, but I definitely feel much better now. More to come soon!

The next update is that we’re making our big move to Atlanta in a month! We visited a few weeks ago and found a place to live as well as a school for K! While I can’t wait to be settled in our home and city, I want to savor every minute we have left in Chicago. It’s been our home for 5 years and where we had our baby boy! We have made so many memories and have met so many amazing people here.

And my final update is that I was recently promoted to Director at work! This means some increased responsibility but more so space and opportunity to do things my way (within certain limits of course). It’s a huge career milestone, and I’m thankful and excited about it.

So that’s what we have going on right now. 2021, we’re coming for you!

Our Experience Using a Toddler Sleep Clock

written by Leave a Comment

Sleep (or the lack thereof) and parenthood often go hand in hand. Like I’ve said before, I was naive enough to think that our sleep woes would end once Kaiden was a toddler. But no. We’ve experienced every regression plus some!

For my long time readers, you know that K often woke up quite early. No matter what we tried (going to sleep earlier, going to sleep later, changing up his bedtime routine, etc.), he consistently woke up in the 5 o’clock hour (if not earlier). And this is as recently as November/December 2019.

One night, as we laid our exhausted heads to bed, I asked Vishnu what he thought of a toddler clock. After sharing my sleep woes on Instagram, a few followers recommended getting one. He said he was willing to try anything to get Kaiden to sleep until 6:00. Ha!

After looking up a few of the ones that were recommended to me, we finally settled on the LittleHippo Mella Read to Rise Children’s Sleep Trainer Clock. There was no rhyme or reason as to why we chose this one to be honest…more than anything it had better reviews that the rest.

So this clock is really simple. You essentially set your child’s sleep time and you set the wake time, and then thirty minutes before the wake time, the ring around the clock turns yellow. This is to help the child slowly wake up (more on our experience with this in a minute). Then when it’s your scheduled wake time, the ring turns green. In most, cases, this is when your child can get of bed or call out to you.

In our experience, the yellow light would cause Kaiden to wake up…and not slowly! So instead of telling him he had to wait for the green light to call out for us, we tell him to wait for the yellow light. We set the clock to a 6:30 am wake up time so that the yellow ring turns on at 6:00 am.

If I’m making this sound complicated, please know that it’s not! Just takes some adjusting based on your child.

A few notes…

Don’t assume this will work from day 1. Some days, Kaiden still wakes up at 5:45, and I have to go in and lay on the bed and tell him he has to wait to get up until he sees the yellow light. Depending on when you start, it will take your toddler some time to adjust to a clock wake up.

We do change the wake up time on the weekends to 7:30 in the hopes that K sleeps until 7. This has worked a handful of times!

How I like to face the clock on Friday and Saturday nights. I feel like not having the bright yellow light shining over his crib helps him sleep a little later. Just a theory on my part…who knows!

This clock has other features like an alarm, a nightlight, etc. We don’t use them (yet) but you get more for your buck than what we use it for.

Anyways, like I said, this was not a magical sleep solution for us, but it has worked wonders! Kaiden has slept longer with this than when we did anything else. Fingers crossed that it only gets better from here!

Let me know if you have any questions (in the comments), and most importantly, if you are dealing with a toddler who doesn’t love to sleep in, know that you’re not alone!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

Starting a Family in Your 30s

written by 2 Comments

I want to start this post by saying one thing.  There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to starting a family.  These are purely my thoughts, as my husband and I did choose to start in our 30s.

Ok, first things first.  I didn’t always want to start in my 30s.  In fact, I had a very detailed plan when I was 17 that was all about how I would be done having babies by the time I was 30.  HA!

But then I met Vishnu, went to grad school, started a job that had me moving around the country for two years, got married, and supported my husband on his medical school and residency (and soon-to-be fellowship) journey.  In all fairness, there was no way we could’ve juggled a kid with all that we had going on for the first 4-5 years of our marriage. 

I like to think that while I once wanted kids in my 20s, Kaiden came to us at the perfect time.  I was 33 when I had K, and Vishnu was 32. 

And when I say right time, I don’t just mean age.  I mean financially, I mean in terms of my career and Vishnu’s, I mean in terms of who we are as people now vs. in our 20s, etc.

With that being said, I do think there are some benefits to starting earlier if you want and your situation allows it.  You have more energy in your 20s (and trust me kids require lots of energy).  You also have time if there are complications in getting pregnant.  There are probably more pros for this that I’m not thinking of.

But personally, since we started in our 30s, I can look back and be comforted by the fact that (FOR US!) it’s a good thing we had K when we did.  I’m so much more patient now than I was a decade ago.  I also have more control over my career and am making more money than I was in my 20s (which is helpful because daycare costs in Chicago are astronomical!).  I also feel like with Vishnu’s career being more final in a way (with med school being over and done with), it’s one thing we don’t have to think about too much.  This helps us keep the focus on K versus other career-related worries.  Vishnu and I are also much more grounded in our relationship now than ever before.  And I didn’t know it until we had Kaiden, but this is so important when you have kids. 

And not that it matters what everyone else is doing, but the majority of my friends started their families in their 30s.  Some sooner, some later, but because they put their educations and careers first, it just worked out this way.  It’s kind of cool because now our kids are all around the same age.  In fact, four of my close girlfriends and I had kids with 6-8 months of each other. 

I should also share that I have a lot of friends whose siblings had kids into their early 40s.  I know this isn’t possible for everyone, but if you’re not quite there yet with the whole idea of having kids, if you’re still trying, if you’re having trouble, please know that not all is lost at 35 like some people like to remind you. 

I know this is sort of a rambling post, but I wanted to share because I think it’s important to talk about these kinds of things.  It’s easy to think that you’re the only one experiencing something or the only one who doesn’t have everything figured out, but trust me, you’re not! 

The decision to have kids is a HUGE one (at any age!), and while it’s true that no time is the perfect time, I think it’s totally ok to start when you and your partner feel ready. 

Stepping off my soap box!  Have a great day.

P.S. Trust me, I know that some people want to start in their 20s, but because of complications and infertility aren’t able to. My heart goes out to those people, and please know I’m not in any way downplaying that. Again, just sharing my experiences with the hope that by doing so I’m helping someone.

10 True Things About the Second Year of Motherhood

written by Leave a Comment

The second year of mother is quite different than year 1. For one, you have a mobile baby who can get from point A to point B in literally 5 seconds flat. If that’s not enough of a game changer, now you’re baby eats real food way more regularly, starts talking up a storm, and is also developing emotionally. I think they call the output of that tantrums… 🙂

Anyways, personally, I found the second year of motherhood a tad bit easier than year 1. This had less to do with K than it had to do with me and the kind of person I am.

Regardless, there are some (universal…at least to me) truths about the second year of motherhood I wanted to share.

In no particular order…

  • As your baby grows, so does your love.  You’ll never know exactly how, but day by day, you’ll love this little person more than you ever thought possible.
  • You’re not as uncertain as you were during year 1, but that ‘what am I doing?’ feeling still lingers.
  • When you look back, you’ll be shocked by how fast year 2 goes.
  • You realize you’ll never completely feel like your old self and that’s ok.  When you had your baby, a new you emerged, and she’s cooler than pre-baby you!  At least that’s what I tell myself.
  • Sleep, or good consistent sleep, may still elude you.  Those regressions are something!  Also, I still wake up a few times a night because I think I hear Kaiden crying. 
  • Hearing your kid’s voice on the daily, actually saying words, never gets old!
  • You will have lots and lots of days where the countdown to bedtime starts at 10 am.
  • You’ll learn to pick your battles a lot sooner and quicker.  Otherwise, everything will turn into a battle!
  • As much as you try, mom guilt won’t totally escape you. It may look a little different from year 1, and if you’re lucky, it’ll be a bit more infrequent, but it’s still there.  And that’s ok. The way I look at it, mom guilt just means you care! 
  • You get so many unsolicited kisses and hugs.  They are undoubtedly the best things ever!

It’ll be an interesting transition from 2 to 3. I hear it’s just as intense, if not more, because they learn how to negotiate. We shall see!

What’s in a [Middle] Name?

written by 4 Comments

I’ve shared how hard it was for me and Vishnu to agree on a boy name. I had a 5 year old spreadsheet with about 10 names that I liked, and my husband vetoed every single one of them. And then he had the audacity to suggest the name Sawyer. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the name Sawyer, but Vishnu knew I would never agree. Crazy man!

Anyways, I digress. Once we agreed on the name Kaiden, I brought up the whole middle name thing. For some reason, Vishnu was okay with me selecting it, so we went with Shiv. I’ll explain more about why in a minute, but let me back up and explain how this whole middle name thing works for us.

In Gujarati tradition, when you get married, you take on your husband’s name for your middle name. All of your kids are also given your husband’s name as their middle names. So for example, my mom, sister and I all had my dad’s name as our middle name.

And on the other end of the spectrum, Vishnu doesn’t have a middle name. The whole name thing works a little differently for South Indians. I don’t want to misrepresent it, so I won’t go into details. Vishnu’s family isn’t very traditional in this sense, so it’s not all that complicated. But no middle name for him.

When we got married, I decided to make my maiden name my middle name, dropping my dad’s name. My sister kept her full birth name and tagged on her husband’s last name. To each her own!

When it came time to decide on Kaiden’s middle name, I picked Shiv because it’s the name of a Hindu god, and for some reason, that was important to me. Also, with Kaiden being a modern/non-Indian name and our last name being very long and traditional, I wanted something simple with an Indian feel. I also love the flow to his whole name when said together – it just works!

Even though I didn’t get my top boy name pick (or my 10th!), I’m glad Vishnu let me select K’s middle name. Otherwise, we would’ve ended up with Sawyer for sure!

Your turn – does your culture or family follow a certain naming convention? Is there a story behind your name – first or middle?

categories

Archives

Top Posts!

Follow me on Instagram!