My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Weaning Off of Exclusive Pumping

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If you want to read more about the early part of my journey and what helped me, check out this post.

This time around I weaned off the pump a little shy of six months. I had a lot of different reasons for doing so, including the fact that I was pumping 3 times a day for 30-60 minutes a piece. The time commitment while juggling an infant, a 4 year old, and a husband with a demanding job was starting to be a lot. Couple that with the fact that my supply started to dip (I’m talking 2 ounces for 45 minutes of pumping towards the end), I just started to question how much longer I could/wanted to go on.

Because I was experienced with pumping and its effect on my mental health, I knew that it wasn’t worth compromising myself. I believe happy mama = happy family, and that meant taking my state of being into consideration.

I was asked on IG to talk about weaning off the pump while pushing away guilt, and I will say it’s hard. To this day I question my decision (even though I know it was the right one for me). The best piece of advice I have is to focus on what you need versus what everyone else did/is doing. If you go down the path of ‘XYZ pumped/breastfed for X long,’ guilt will forever be your sidekick. FED IS BEST and formula is NOT the devil. Your baby needs you to be ok. Period.

With that being said, I was able to fully wean off the pump in 10 or so days. I basically counted back from when I expected my last day to be, and started decreasing the time of my middle session by a few minutes. And then three days later, I started decreasing the time of my 1st and 3rd session by a few minutes. Then I decreased the time of my middle session for a few days, and so forth and so on until I felt like I could go all day without pumping without feeling uncomfortable.

I will say, it was a little surprising and sad to see some milk still leaking through a week after weaning. It made me feel guilty and like a bad mom for stopping. But then I’d actively change the narrative to ‘I’m a great mom for my baby. I love her and am doing what’s best for her by doing what’s best for me.’

I will also say that now that EPing is forever behind me, I feel a sense of freedom. I feel like I can use my time more strategically. I’m not as stressed and reactive and demanding and pushy. I feel like I’m sleeping better, making more time for exercise consistently, etc.

Do I sometimes wish I had continued EPing for a little longer? Sure. But then I take one good look at Mila and see a growing, thriving, beautiful baby who is so excited to see me all day everyday, and all those doubts go away.

Bottom line – listen to your gut and know that any decision you make on behalf of your mental, emotional, and physical health will only serve your baby too.

How We Went About Getting Our 6 Month Old Baby Girl’s Ears Pierced

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What a doozy of a title for a fairly straightforward blog post!

After sharing that we got Mila’s ears pierced on Instagram, I got a lot of questions about the experience, where we went, how Mila did, etc., so I thought I’d share a quick post about all of that.

Let’s get to it…

Why 6 Months?

Someone on IG asked why we chose to pierce Mila’s ears now versus let her decide when she’s older. If I’m being honest, Vishnu would’ve been just fine with that. He wasn’t eager at all but ultimately left the decision up to me. I honestly didn’t give it too much thought, and totally get the notion of choice. I also figure she can remove the earrings if she doesn’t want them when she’s a bit older and let the holes fill in.

As to why 6 months. I decided to do it at this age because I’ve heard it’s harder as they get older (harder to sit still, feel the pain of it more, etc.). Most of my friends did it between 5-8 months.

Where did you get it done?

You can absolutely go to a Claire’s (does Claire’s still exist?) or Piercing Pagoda type of place, however, we chose to go to a pediatricians office. My friend recommended a practice to me since our office doesn’t do piercings. It was a simple process just like scheduling any appointment. If your pediatrician doesn’t offer this service, I’d just call around to other practices in your area.

In terms of the process itself, when we arrived, we were taken to a small room, and a nurse brought a sample of all the different stud options they have (there were probably a good 15 or so to choose from). Once I picked what I wanted (went with the crystal stud) and marked the spot where we wanted the earrings to go, we had Mila sit in my lap with her feet secured between my legs. One arm held her head against my chest, and my other arm wrapped around her arms.

There were two nurses who came to pierce her ears – one for each! What a genius idea. It literally took all of three seconds once everything was ready.

How did Mila do?

She cried for less than 30 seconds! And then nothing after that.

Kids are so damn resilient! I cried more than she did when I got my nose pierced!

What does the maintenance process entail?

We got a cleaning solution to bring home. We dip a Q-tip in that and clean around the front and back of the earrings and also turn the earrings three times on each side. We were told to do this 2-3 times a day for 30 days. So far so good! Mila doesn’t seem to mind it at all.

How much did it cost?

$50 – piercing itself + the earrings!

Key Takeaways

  • If your peds office doesn’t offer piercing services, call around until you find one that does.
  • Mark exactly where you want them to pierce baby’s ears. One of my friends said they did this with a fine tip permanent marker before they actually went in. You can also ask to be the one to mark right before with a nurse there with you. Have them double check with you to make sure it’s even!
  • Hold your baby tighter than what feels normal. It only takes a few seconds but you don’t want your baby to twist their head during the process.
  • Follow care instructions!

It really was as simple as that. Let me know if you have any questions.

A Must Try Diaper Trick Using Aquaphor

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First and foremost, this post isn’t sponsored by Aquaphor. Although, if they saw how many tubs of their ointment we have, that might change!

Our love affair with Aquaphor began when Kaiden was just under a year old. Chicago winters are no joke, and this ointment was the only thing that kept him super moisturized. We still cover him in it post-bath. It’s his ‘cream!’

Given how much we loved it for Kaiden, Vishnu told me to use it religiously after having two bouts of horrible hives in 2019. And like K, it’s the only thing I use post-shower. Nothing else has come close to Aquaphor and how protected it keeps me skin. And fingers crossed, I haven’t had hives since October 2019!

So now for the diaper trick we use with Mila…

After M was born, Vishnu was all about protecting her from diaper rashes. With Kaiden, we started using Desitin pretty much right away because he was so prone to rashes, but with Mila we wanted to be more proactive.

So now, with every diaper change, we first spread a good amount of Aquaphor on the inside of her diaper before putting it on her. This has been a game changer!

First, we’re eight weeks in, and not only has she not had a diaper rash, but her bum is never red (and gf goes through A LOT of diapers!). Second, the layer of Aquaphor makes clean up a breeze because nothing sticks to her bum. I used to dread diaper changes with Kaiden, but with Mila we’re done in a few minutes, and I feel 100% certain that she’s cleaner than clean (also preventing any rashes or other issues).

A couple of notes:

  1. If you’re going to use Aquaphor on both your baby’s bum and body, I recommend having two separate tubs. Just in case!
  2. Costco sells Aquaphor ointment in a two pack for ~$20, which is so much cheaper than what you’ll find in other stores/Amazon. Vishnu made a trip the other day and came home with five 2 packs! Given 3 out of 4 people in our household use this, we go through tubs pretty quickly.

If your baby is still in diapers, I highly recommend trying this little trick out. Thank me later!

My Journey with Exclusive Pumping the Second Time Around

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Ok, so I have so much to say about this topic, but first and foremost, let me share how I got to exclusively pumping with Mila.

I had every intention of breastfeeding this time around, and for the first couple of days after she was born, it felt like we were going in the right direction. She fed beautifully on day 1 (and thankfully my colostrum was in full force) and even during the day on day 2. Things changed on night two with her cluster feeding more. She would latch and then unlatch. The unlatching would make her angry and she’d be inconsolable. At that point it was impossible to even get her back on the breast.

Vishnu and I called the nurse in to help us, and she really tried her best too. We just could not get M to latch and suck. That’s when Vishnu and I decided to try a bottle (the nurse actually encouraged us to do so as well).

Side note – with Kaiden, we had what felt like zero support from the nurses at the hospital. Instead of reading the situation (re: he couldn’t latch at all and I had no idea what I was doing), they would just push him on to me as if that was going to solve the problem. And then they encouraged SNS which is one of the most stressful feeding techniques ever. Vishnu and I vowed to not go down that path with Mila.

So yeah, we ended up giving her bottles that night as well as a pacifier. We figured her health and our sanity was worth.

For the next 2+ weeks, I continued to put her on the breast first when it came time to feed. Sometimes she’d stay on for a minute or two and sometimes she’d go full on frantic on us. Needless to say, M got used to the bottle pretty quickly.

I called a lactation consultant to come and help us, and she suggested a few things that were helpful but didn’t solve our issue of why M wouldn’t latch and stay latched.

The consultant did as me an important question though that ultimately helped me be ok with exclusive pumping. She asked, “Is your goal to get your baby latch or to feed her your breastmilk?” GAME CHANGING QUESTION!

My goal is to give Mila my milk for as long as I can, however I can. Sure, I really wanted to breastfeed this time around, and sure, it felt like we were on a good path for a bit there, but I’m truly not upset about being on the EP path again.

With Kaiden, I think I made the experience miserable for myself. This time I’m doing things a little differently…

  1. Invest in a good quality pump – I have the Spectra S2 which is a hospital grade pump that a lot of my friends used. Personally, I love the suctioning power as well as the fact that there are less parts to clean. A great option in my opinion!
  2. Invest in good quality pumping bras – WIth Kaiden, I had no idea what I was doing. In the chaos of his delivery and bringing him home, I didn’t even think to buy real pumping bras. Instead, I made my own. And while it was a great idea, if I do say so myself, it was very cheap and silly of me. This time around, I got these bras, and LOVE them. Perfect for the exclusive pumper and a breastfeeder/pumper.
  3. Length of pumping sessions – With Kaiden, I thought my pumping sessions had to be 30-45 minutes long to be the most effective. The lactation consultant I saw ensured me that 20-25 minutes was plenty if I’m also massaging my breasts while pumping. Hallelujah!
  4. Missed/shorter sessions – As a mom of two, I’m here to tell you your pumping schedule may not always go to plan. Mine hasn’t…not once! But I’m not going to stress about it. I’m going to do the best I can with the time and resources I have. And you should too!
  5. Power pumping – I was hoping I wouldn’t have to power pump this time around, but lo and behold, I’m still doing it! PP is a great thing to do when baby is going through a growth spurt – 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, etc. Basically, it looks like this – pump for 20, 10 minute break, pump for 10, 10 minute break, pump for 10. Yes, it’s an hour, but I try to do these sessions when the kiddos are asleep – late at night or in the wee hours of the morning. And I’ll admit that PP does help increase supply overall, so I guess it’s worth it!
  6. Water, oats, and fenugreek – These are the things I used last time to help with my supply and they’re doing their thing this time too. Also, I had a friend tell me extra protein helped her supply. Also, it’s important to put aside any weight loss goals at this time. You have to eat and eat regularly. Pumping burns about 20 calories an ounce so let’s say you pump an average of 30 ounces a day, that’s 600 calories you’re burning through. Think of it this way – your body needs fuel to make fuel.
  7. Pump time = YOU time! – I wasn’t very good about making the most of my pumping time with K. I would just sit there and think about how much it sucked that I had to pump while someone else got to feed my baby. This time around, I’m taking full advantage of all the 20 minute blocks of time I have. I’m reading, listening to podcast, connecting with Kaiden, calling friends and family members, blogging, etc. I wouldn’t exactly call it self-care, but this time around, I’m realizing my attitude about pumping is what will make or break it for me. And because I want to do this for at least six months, I need to have a good attitude.
  8. Mindset – Going along with the above, your mindset is everything. You’re not going to be pumping for the rest of your life or even for years to come. I basically tell myself to make it through the day…and rinse and repeat. No need to look months into the future and lament on how you have to pump so much. One day at a time…nothing lasts forever.
  9. Communication – For me, exclusive pumping wouldn’t work without Vishnu’s support. So my biggest suggestion here is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what you’ll need to make this a success for your family. Vishnu really wants Mila to have my breastmilk for as long as she can, so he’s fully on board to help me. He does the two middle of the night feedings so I can pump. And on weekends, he’s game to watch both kids so I can get my sessions in. This is really about teamwork!
  10. FED IS BEST – I have and always believe this. Breastfeeding, pumping, formula – ALL good options to feed a baby. If you have to pump and supplement at some point, do it! Formula is not the devil. Remember that the goal is to have a healthy baby…whatever that takes. With Kaiden, we transitioned to formula after six months of EP because my mental health was in question and I couldn’t do it anymore. And guess what…he’s THRIVING! A healthy baby is important but so is a healthy mama.  Do what is best or your family and ignore the noise!

If you are also pumping or debating on EP, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Happy to help in whatever way I can!

Also, if you want to read more about my journey with Kaiden, check out these posts – My breastfeeding and pumping journey and Exclusive Pumping – an Emotional Journey.

Must Have Baby Products We Use Everyday

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When it comes to baby products, brands are going to try and sell you things you absolutely don’t need. Or maybe don’t need for your particular baby. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed and buy all the things or think you need to buy all the things. With Kaiden, we definitely took a very minimalistic route because we didn’t have too much space or money. Thankfully, he was easy in that way. He’s four now and thriving so there’s that! With Ms. Mila, we took a slightly different approach. My best friend gave us a lot of things she used with her daughter + as we got to learn Mila’s preferences, we definitely bought a few extra things we didn’t with Kaiden.

Parenting is all trial and error, my friends!

We have a pretty good sense of what really works for us at this point, so I thought I’d share our list of must have baby products we use everyday, mainly for anyone like me who felt overwhelmed when thinking about this and just wanted a list of things to buy!

Feeding

My Breast Friend Pillow – great for breastfeeding and feeding in general. Really helps you relax and get the baby into a comfortable feeding position.

Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter – when you’re breastfeeding and/or pumping, this stuff is gold! It really helps keep your nipples from cracking or getting too dry, which helps ease the BFing/pumping process.

Bottles – We had great success with the Avent bottles with K and are trying those out with Mila too. I’ve also heard good things about Dr. Browns and bought this newborn set on Amazon. And finally, a lactation consultant in the hospital told us about the Evenflow nipples which are apparently great for babies who need to transition between breast and bottle. Again…trial and error!

Drying rack – I know the green grass drying rack (don’t recall the brand) is super popular, but I read that it’s a breeding ground for mold, so I bought this one instead, and so far so good!

Bottle brush – LOVE this brush by Dr. Browns (works with all bottles).

Dapple soap – Again, used this soap with Kaiden, and we’re still loving it. Love how clean it is.

Medela Steam Bags – We haven’t used these yet, but I know they’ll be great for when we go to the grandparents house or on vacation (some day!).

Burp clothes – I know this is a given, but you have no idea how many burp clothes we go through in a day! I bought these recently and love how soft they are.

Pump – I got the Spectra S2 through my insurance and like it so far. I am officially an exclusive pumper again (more on this later) and am finding that it does a good job getting out as much milk as possible. And it doesn’t sound as annoying as the Medela pump I used with Kaiden.

Pumping bras – With Kaiden, I made my own bootleg pumping bras out of old sports bras. This time…I know better and got these based on a friend’s rec. Love them!

Bottle warmer – this isn’t a must have product for everyone, but it’s saving us with Mila because when she’s hungry, she’s hungry. And with the current set up of our home, we’re able to keep the bottle warmer upstairs so we don’t have to go back and forth. I also love that this device warms the milk to the perfect temperature. We didn’t have a bottle warmer with Kaiden (felt silly and a little bougie at the time), but for us know, it’s definitely a must have item!

Mini fridge – Ok, so before you LOL at us, listen! We keep this tiny fridge in Mila’s room along with the bottle warmer so we don’t have to go up and down the stairs at 1, 3, 5 am in the morning, and it’s been amazing! I prep her bottles the night before, put them in the fridge, and we’re good to go. This way, if Vishnu’s feeding her, he can just grab, warm, and go. I mentioned to Vishnu how a few friends of ours got mini fridges, and he jumped on it and got us this one right away. Life and time saver!

Sleep

Sound machine – We use Amazon Alexa as a sound machine in both kids rooms and our room. Vishnu did all the set up, so if you have questions, let me know and maybe I can get him to do a little tutorial.

Halo bassinet – My best friend let us borrow her Halo and I love it. With Kaiden we had a Graco bassinet that started caving towards the end of it’s life and I didn’t find it very comfortable looking. The Halo (while expensive I know if you were to buy) is fully mesh around the sides, it swivels, and it’s very roomy. So far so good with Mila but she’s a very sleepy baby so time will tell!

Halo sheets – Vishnu bought these extra sheets because the bassinet only comes with one. Trust me, you’ll need multiple! Babies spit up, pee, and poop A LOT! [Microfiber version | Jersey Knit version]

Eco Classica Baby Mattress – We got and loved this mattress with Kaiden and ended up getting Mila a brand new one too. It has an infant side and a toddler side, so it grows with your kid. I don’t think you can really go wrong with whatever mattress you chose but wanted to share our pick because both kids have had zero complaints!

Diapers

Wipe warmer – Again, one of those bougie purchases we didn’t even consider with K (poor guy), but also, he didn’t mind getting his diaper changed or cold wipes. Ms. Mila, on the other hand, goes crazy the minute we open up her diaper and start wiping with a cold wipe. Vishnu got this after recognizing that pattern pretty quickly, and I will say, it’s made the diaper changing process 3x easier.

Diaper Genie – Yet another purchase we didn’t consider with Kaiden. We basically DIYed the solution then and really shouldn’t have! I know the Diaper Genie gets mixed reviews, but we love it. It really does make discarding dirty diapers so much easier, and the set up is also very easy. But most importantly, it keeps everything smelling ok (which our DIY solution didn’t do so well despite our best efforts!).

Nails

Electronic nail filer – No one tells you this, but cutting your newborn’s nails for the first few times is the most terrifying experience as a new parent. With Kaiden, I definitely ended up clipping his skin a little (worst feeling ever!). A nurse at the hospital told us about electronic nail filers for babies, and let me tell you, it’s been a game changer. Mila still doesn’t love it, but at least there’s no risk of her getting cut! A must have in my opinion – thank me later!

Other things we love

Glider – This is the one we got, and we love it! Again, didn’t have this when we had K…such a missed opportunity. Both Vishnu and I love feeding Mila in this chair – makes the experience really comfortable for all of us!

Hanging closet organizer – We use this product (x2) for each kid and love how it keeps there clothes organized and easy to access, especially great for when you don’t a ton of other space and/or when you’re using the dresser for other items (like us).

Dresser dividers – Love these for when babies are little and you need to keep things super organized.

Pack n’ play – a classic baby/toddler product! A must purchase item!

Baby Bjorn Bouncer – We don’t put her in this too much, but when we have she tolerates it and we get 10 minutes to eat or check email. I’ve heard older babies absolutely love this little gadget!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

C-Section Questions

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After sharing about my recent c-section on Instagram, I received several questions about my two very specific things, so I thought I would share my responses here.

How’s your recovery the second time around?

My recovery with Mila was similar in some ways to my c-section with Kaiden. I had a harder time while at the hospital (pain, difficulty walking/getting out of bed, etc.) than at home. Given this was a planned c-section, I think in some ways my recovery was probably better this time around (but who knows because I can hardly remember how I felt over four years ago!). But I definitely had more of an idea of what to expect.

The nurses at the hospital told me to take it easy with climbing stairs and being too mobile, bu I was able to move around without too much pain or discomfort quite easily. I did take Ibuprofen every six hours for the first week or so, and then after that it’s been on an as needed basis.

I will say this though. Please don’t take my experience as gospel. Every woman, every body, etc. is different. Some may need more time to recover while some may get right back to it immediately. A lot can determine which side you fall on – complications during c-section, the amount of support/help you have, the layout of your house…I mean, the list is endless. Take it one day at a time and know that you’ll be back to feeling more like yourself before you know it!

Why not try for a VBAC the second time around?

*VBAC = vaginal birth after cesarean

Vishnu and I discussed both options at length. We went back and forth on whether I could try for a VBAC, knowing full well that I may end up having a c-section after all. For us, it came down to the fact that Kaiden’s delivery was a bit traumatic, and we really wanted to have some degree of control with this pregnancy. In addition to the chorioamnionitis, I also ended up with gestational diabetes with this pregnancy, and to top it all off, I’m considered advanced maternal age. All those factors combined led us to believe a planned c-section was for us.

I have a lot of friends who had a VBAC, and they ended up doing just fine. At the end of the day, you have to make the decision that you’re most comfortable with.

In our case, going the c-section route ended up being the best because my OB surgeon mentioned how parts of my uterus are thinner than others, and that a vaginal birth may have been more complicated at the end of the day. Things have a way of working out I suppose!

At the end of the day, remember that this is YOUR pregnancy, YOUR delivery, and YOUR child. Every decision you make should feel good/right to YOU!

Mila’s Birth Story

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Mighty Mila’s (that’s my nickname for her) birth story isn’t as crazy as her big brother’s. In fact, the only thing that had me on edge was if she decided to come early and what that would mean in terms of her delivery. Thankfully, she didn’t!

In terms of her fairly predictable birth story, here’s how it all went down…

On Sunday night, my parents came over (they were staying the week at our place to take care of Kaiden) and brought dinner. After a full Gujarati meal, I headed upstairs to look at my hospital bag one more time and ensure I wasn’t forgetting anything. Turns out, I didn’t use half of what I brought!

After doing a few more things to prepare for the big day, Vishnu and I went to bed. We had to be at the hospital by 6:30 am since my c-section time was set for 9:00 am. I was up at 5:00 to shower and get ready. I couldn’t eat anything after 11 pm the night before, so I didn’t have to think about breakfast (although I wanted to eat so bad!). Vishnu grabbed a coffee protein shake, and we headed off to the hospital.

Once we got to the hospital, we checked in at the front desk and headed to the triage area where I changed out of my clothes and into a gown. We didn’t have to wait long until our team of nurses and doctors came to check in on us and get the ball rolling. I had an IV put in, met with our anesthesiologist, and was walked through how the next couple of hours would go.

It was soon time to head to the OR. I went in first and had my spinal tap. They laid me down pretty quickly and the bottom half of my body went numb. The room got very busy with various nurses and assistants coming in to prep everything. Once my doctor arrived, things started moving fairly quickly. Vishnu was allowed back, and pretty soon, I could start to feel some pressure in my abdomen area. Nothing painful, just tugs and pulls here and there.

Let me back up, just so I cover my emotional state. Once they put the curtain up, things became very real for me. I started crying immediately and couldn’t stop. Vishnu was talking to me the whole time and really made me feel better and more calm. The tears didn’t stop flowing though. Not quite sure what made me cry, but I think it was just knowing we would be meeting our baby girl very soon and that I would no longer be pregnant ever again.

Anyways, once the tugs and pulls started, it was just a matter of time before I could literally feel the doctor pull Mila out of my body. It was the most incredible feeling ever! They quickly showed her to us over the curtain and then took her to get clean and measured, etc. I didn’t get the best look but was just so happy to hear her cry.

Vishnu got to see her first, and when he came back, I was like, “How is she?!” He told me she’s my mini me and looks exactly like me. Woo hoo!

A nurse brought her over to us soon thereafter, and again, I couldn’t stop crying! She was so alert and sweet.

The doctor continued to stitch me up, and Vishnu and Mila headed back to the triage room.

Once I joined them in triage, I was able to hold Mila and feed her some colostrum, do skin to skin, etc.

In some ways, this was the birth experience I never got with Kaiden. With him, it was chaotic from the start, and I honestly don’t remember much aside from feeling very cold in the OR and obviously seeing him for the first time.

I’ve shared many times that Ms. Mila is the fourth and final addition to our little family. Vishnu and I made the decision a while back that we would stop at two kids, and I have to say, she is THE perfect addition. She’s absolutely perfect and adorable and lovable and eatable! I love all the faces she makes, her chill personality (so far!), how she loves to sleep..seriously though, gf would sleep all day if we let her, how strong she is already, and so much more.

I honestly never cared if we had a boy or a girl next and would’ve been happy either way, but I will say, it’s fun thinking about all the things Mila and I will hopefully get to do together as she gets older. And most of all, I’m so excited to see how her and Kaiden’s dynamic evolves. Big bro definitely adores his little sister and is always looking for her and wanting to kiss her feet! It’s the sweetest.

Vishnu and I are extremely tired, but we’re also very aware of how blessed and lucky we are to call these two beings our children. This party of four is ready for the ride of a lifetime!

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