My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

What and Who is Home For You?

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Home. How do you define it? What feelings does the thought of it bring up?

These are questions that have been coming up for me in different ways. Day-to-day through my parenting and the environment I try to create for my kids is one of the biggest ways. Also via articles/blogs and podcasts. So needless to say, I’ve been thinking about this a lot!

When I was younger, home was definitely the literal structure we lived in. Then once I left for college, I equated home with comfort (and the structure). A place I could always retreat back to.

Now, home to me is anywhere and anyone I can be myself around. So yes, my house is home. But more importantly, lots of the people in life feel like home.

Looking at this slightly differently, writing in my journal feels like home. When I coach, I also feel like I’m home. Reading a good book also feels like home. Working out also feels like home.

If I feel like I am myself in any given moment, I am home.

This little boy, my firstborn, definitely feels like home!

We all have to define it for ourselves, but my perspective is so comforting to me because when I look at it this way, home is never too far. It also helps me assess if something or someone is really for me. If it/they don’t feel like home, I’ll probably keep my distance a bit.

I’d love to hear from you. How do you define home? When do you most feel at home?

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Friday Stuff – Big Feelings, Work Projects, Furniture, and the Weekend

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Y’all! It has been a week! Let’s jump right in…

5.5 years old

Kaiden is a little over 5.5, and man, just when I thought we were hitting our stride, he’s ‘growing’ emotionally in some big ways. This comes with a lot of BIG emotions and feelings, which I’m used to. But it also comes with a bit of attitude and blame (towards me mostly) and irritability. I’m doing my best to acknowledge, validate, set boundaries, etc., but boy has my patience been tested over the past few weeks. I have not handled every bit as well as I would have liked, but I’m trying and learning and working through this with Kaiden. My core message to him is that he’s a good kid who has a hard time sometimes just like I’m a good mommy who has a hard time sometimes. We are all good inside! Not sure if any of it is sticking, but Wednesday night showed me that maybe it is. He had a little breakdown and moved passed it quickly by finding a solution. We shall see what the weekend holds!

Work Projects

What I absolutely love about what I do now is that I get to choose and prioritize what I work on. This is amazing and so empowering and fulfilling, but it also comes with a bit of ‘I want to do everything and work with everyone!’

As of right now, I have my Awarify work/projects/coachees, which is my bread and butter! I also have Momsanity work/projects/podcast stuff I do with Amy. And at the moment, I’m also working with two friends and fellow entrepreneurs on a project/event. All amazing stuff and work that’s worth doing, but when you really only have 4 hours, 4 days a week to work, it’s a lot! But all in all, I’m so lucky to do what I do, and I 100% recognize that!

In terms of the above, if you’re interested in participating in some of what we have going on, here are a few key dates!

AWARIFY COACHING

I am hosting a free Zoom call on 2/2 at 8:30 pm about ‘The Who Bag,’ one of my favorite concepts I learned about in coaching school. I’m choosing to start with this because it’s so foundational to why we are the way we are, who we are, and why we think the way we do.

If you’re interested in joining this call, send me an email at awarifycoaching@gmail.com. I’ll add you to the invite!

MOMSANITY

Amy and I are so excited for the launch of season 2 of the Momsanity Podcast at the end of March, AND before that happens, we have another special bonus episode going live on February 14th with our husbands! Stay tuned for that.

We are also hosting our second monthly community call on February 16th at 9 pm EST. The main topic of this call will be confidence. It’s going to be so good, I know it!

Here’s to an Empowered YOU!

My friends Chitra, Preyasi and I are hosting a free Zoom event on 3/16 at 8:30 pm EST. This one is for all the ambitious women out there who want to be more empowered financially, physically, and mentally. This will also be a really fun and inspiring event! I’ll share more about how to sign up in the coming month.

New Furniture

Even though we’re nearing 40, Vishnu and I have yet to own a ton of nice furniture that we bought with our own money as grown adults. Over the past 10 years, we’ve piece mealed our homes with whatever we had, adding Ikea pieces as we went along.

Well, we finally worked with a designer at a furniture store to complete our bedroom and living room. Our bedroom furniture was delivered this week, and it’s so exciting to see because we’ve never had our room look so put together. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all simple pieces, but they actually go together and look nice! And knowing us, our room will look like this for the next 10 years (if not more!).

I can’t wait to see how our living room turns out! We haven’t had a coffee table (and even that was Wayfair) since right before Kaiden was born!

The Weekend

What are y’all up to this weekend? We don’t have too many plans, but what we have planned is fun!

I have a hair appointment on Saturday morning at 8 am to get my hair highlighted (it’s been nearly a year!). And then later that evening we have a progressive dinner in our neighborhood, but we’ll only be going for the appetizer portion…because after that we have a 40th birthday party for our good friends.

Phew! Sunday will most certainly be a chill/rest day! Maybe we’ll go out for some ice cream with the kids or out to dinner even.

These days I try not to hype up the weekends too much in case someone ends up being sick, but fingers crossed that we’re able to squeeze in some good quality family time in too!

Have a great weekend!

#12 + #39 + 7 lessons

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This time of year is always very reflection heavy for me. And not so much because it’s the start of a new year.

January is special because it’s my birth month, and it’s My Inner Shakti’s birth month. And this year I turned 39 while MIS turned 12!

I can’t believe I’ve had this little corner of the internet for 12 years! What a ride it’s been.

I literally started on a whim after talking to a good friend about how I wanted to start a blog ‘one day.’ She was so supportive and told me I totally should. Later that night, I researched how to start a blog, and from there, MIS came to be via WordPress.com! One day was actually a few hours later, and I’m so thankful I took the leap to put myself out there! 12 years later here we are.

So much of my life is documented here – all of my moves, my wedding, friend’s weddings, birthdays, all the small stuff…

Speaking of birthdays, I just celebrated #39. And by celebrated, I mean I spent time with loved ones (over the course of the weekend), had a lovely lunch with one of my best friends, and spent the evening with Vishnu and the kids. Perfection in my mind!

In true Parita fashion, I thought I would share some of the big things I’ve taken away from both my 39 years and my 12 years as a blogger/storyteller. I think all of these apply to all different aspects of life and are truly the things I think about when I think about anything and everything I do.

  1. If you feel a pull towards something, get curious about it! Take the time to find out if it’s meant for you, and if the answer is a resounding yes, take action and go for it! Nothing bad ever comes from these kinds of ‘risks’ and leaps. No matter what happens, you learn. From the way I look at it, it’s a win win!
  2. Your presence and who you are supersedes what you do any day. People will forget the details of what you do, but they’ll never forget how they felt in your presence, and more importantly, how you made them feel.
  3. At the end of the day, the actions we do or do not take on things determine the direction our life takes. Sure, things will happen that are out of our control, but I’m a believer in the idea that we shape our lives by doing and trying. Thinking will only take you so far. Live your life like an experiment is what this essentially boils down to.
  4. Whenever possible, try to respond versus react (something I’m working very hard on at the moment!). There are very few things that call for a reaction. Personally, I try to create space between whatever’s happening and my response. That way I’m being conscious and thoughtful about shaping what happens next.
  5. Never forget the immense power that lies in ONE! We all want to change the world and reach more and more people, but there is so much power in reaching one person. It’s the knocking down of that one domino that creates beauty and progress. Personally, I aim to help/inspire/motivate one person every day, and sometimes that includes me!
  6. SHARE YOUR STORY! To the point above, you never know who you’re helping by sharing your story/perspective/etc. We are all living beautiful, textured, complex lives, and I truly believe we are better off by sharing the good, the not so good, and the neutral. My central premise of sharing has always been to make people feel less alone in whatever they’re going through. Even if you don’t want to share publicly on social media/blog, share with those you feel comfortable with and watch as those relationships flourish and continue to grow. There’s power in openness and vulnerability. We all have something to offer.
  7. Be kind. You’ll never regret it…

And finally, thanks for being here! I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.

What’s Good?

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Y’all! It. Has. Been. A. Week!

HFM for one kid and the an intense stomach virus/bug for the other. With Vishnu out of town this weekend to top it off.

If I’m being completely honest, I definitely threw myself an elaborate pity party and stayed there for a while. It’s not the sicknesses that get to me. Those are a part of kids going to school…and being a parent. It’s the kids having to miss out on stuff because of the sicknesses, especially Kaiden. I feel bad that he hasn’t seen his friends in a while or that we have to keep bowing out of stuff because someone is not feeling good.

I told my friend Monica this the other day, and she acknowledged and validated my feelings, but then she also got real with me, which is something I love about her. She basically said that if it’s not us it’s someone else. These feelings are a part of the ride, and that we’re super lucky to have the group of friends we have…people we actually want (and want our kids) to spend time with.

Her words rang true on so many levels, so I grabbed my bag and ran out of my own party!

And then I started a ‘what’s good?’ list because I needed to refocus my mind on everything that went/is going well…because there’s definitely more good than not.

An intense Mila tantrum – not good but she gets over it quickly…so kind of good?!

So here are a few things I came up with…

  • Even though the HFM and stomach bug sucked big time, both are curable. Also, given the severity of each, both kids actually fared ok and were in decent spirits.
  • My parents are able to and want to help me when needed. Even though this wasn’t the weekend I had in mind, I’m so thankful they were around to help me. Definitely couldn’t have done it on my own.
  • Even though it feels like we’re always missing out, we have so many more opportunities coming up to hang out with our friends. We’re lucky to have the friends we have.
  • Despite the craziness that was Saturday, I got to celebrate a dear friend of mine and her engagement. Seeing how happy she was reminded me of what really matters in life.
  • Vishnu had a really good time in Vegas (well-deserved too), BUT NOW HE’S BACK!!! Phew!
  • Even though I had a few very minor stomach bug type symptoms, I was unaffected overall by the HFM (thank goodness). Vishnu also got some symptoms while on his trip, but they lasted less than 24 hour thankfully.
  • Mila loves her new classroom and teacher at school. She may be bringing home all the bugs but at least she’s happy!
  • Kaiden also still loves school, and told me the other day, “I don’t like Saturdays because there’s no school on Saturdays.” He’ll change his mind soon enough, but I’ll take it for now.
  • We’re going to the Trevor Noah show this Friday, and I AM SO EXCITED. He’s pretty much my celebrity crush! We went to his show in Chicago, and it was amazing, so I have high hopes!
  • Even though sick kids disrupt work and routine, I’m so lucky to not be tethered to a corporate job right now. I’m finding that what I do now and the way I do it + the time I get with the kids is a good blend for me at this time. I’m not 100% anything right now, but that works because I love both parts of my life and glad to have them come to life in different ways.

So yeah…things are good! Sometimes they feel hard when I get overwhelmed but honest conversations with close friends and a solid ‘what’s good?’ list set me straight!

If you’re going through a challenging time right now, I’m sending BIG HUGE HUGS your way. Maybe a list will help, maybe a good convo with a good friend, maybe a pity party…whatever it is that you need, take the time and do it because you and your feelings matter.

Sending lots of love!

It’s Finally Friday!

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I don’t know why I’m so excited it’s Friday. Vishnu’s going out of town today-Monday on a guy’s trip, so I’m the primary parent, BUT my parents will be here too. That should make the load slightly less heavy (literally and figuratively).

Regardless, I am excited to get some time to rest, relax, and recover (mostly, Mila!).

Let me catch you up on some Friday things…

Hand Foot Mouth

Mila started showing signs of HFM last Saturday afternoon. What started as a low-grade fever + an eczema flare + a few small bumps, evolved into full-fledged HFM. It was/is bad, y’all. Poor baby!

Her fever ceased on Wednesday, and her sores started crusting over yesterday. However, the saga continues because she also had diarrhea yesterday. I texted my sister and she said this can happen with HFM, so we’re just keeping an eye on it for now.

On top of all this, she has a cold and is teething.

Oy vey! I hope this is the last of these illnesses…for a while at least!

Me Thinking I Had HFM

Ok, so this is funny and it’s not. Because I’ve been so worried about catching HFM from Mila, I’ve been monitoring every little thing I feel of the whole week. A slight tickle in my throat! Is it HFM? My hand are itchy! Is it HFM?

Anyways, on Wednesday night, I started feeling super duper cold (like standing in the middle of Chicago on a windy/cold day) and exhausted. Then my throat felt sore every time I swallowed, and I could’ve sworn I had HFM. I made Vishnu look in my ears and my throat to see if he saw anything odd.

He told me to take some Advil and a shower. I did just that and got in bed extra early.

THANKFULLY, I felt ok in the morning. No sore throat, etc.

However, I’ve still been having those cold spells where I get super cold all of a sudden. Nothing a little Advil can’t take care of!

Fingers crossed this isn’t the start of something else!

True Self-Care

After all of the above and really just feeling so so exhausted this week (no sleep, carrying around a 20+ pound baby everywhere, etc.), I’ve come to realize that true self-care is slowing down. Slowing down your movement, yes, but also slowing down your thoughts, your mind, ALL OF IT!

I’m known for moving fast in all regards, but as I get older, I’m learning that while yes, that may be boost my productivity, it’s doing nothing for my sense of wellbeing and the stress I carry around. And stress, as we get older, is a killer.

I’ll share more about my thoughts on this in a separate post, but it’s something that’s definitely on my mind a lot.

The Power of Friends Who Show They Care

After I became a mom, I lowered the bar for all of my friends because I knew from experience that it was harder to constantly keep in touch and ‘be there’ for other people when you have a tiny human ruling your home. I give more grace now for sure!

However, the power of friends who show they care is immeasurable. A simple text/call can go a LONG way, and I’m so thankful to have a handful of people who constantly show they care.

This is something I try to do when I know someone is going through something, and in 2023 I want to be better about sending random ‘I’m thinking of you’ messages because I know how good they make me feel when I receive them.

Good friends are worth their weight in gold for sure!

‘She Said’

Vishnu just showed me the trailer for this movie, and I’m so excited to watch it. I don’t know what’s going on with me but I teared up AT A TRAILER!

The Me Too movement was such a powerful one. And hopefully one that completely unravels the system of sexual misconduct/abuse/etc. I also hope it serves as a warning to people in power that even they can fall.

I’ll share more once we watch the movie. It looks like a good one.

And that’s all she wrote because she’s tired and plans to get up at 4:30 to work out and be productive before the rest of the humans in her house takeover her life!

Have a great weekend!

My 11 Current Favorite Podcasts

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Are you a podcast listener? Per my random Google search, there are over 5 million podcasts out right now! That’s quite the number.

I specifically love them during long drives, when I’m folding/putting away laundry, or going for a walk.

If you haven’t found a handful you love, don’t stress! I’m sharing 11 of my favorites today.

Ok, here goes!

#1 Momsanity

Have you listened to this super awesome podcast called Momsanity? The hosts are super fun, down to Earth, and really relatable. I highly recommend you listen because their motherhood content is authentic and from the heart!

I kid (not really!), but I couldn’t start a top podcast list without sharing my own.

#2 We Can Do Hard Things

Truth-telling. Raw. Inspiring.

#3 Good Inside

Community. Practical. What she says works!

#4 Hidden Brain

Smart. Relatable. Expert driven.

#5 A Bit of Optimism

Smart. Leadership. Realism.

#6 Peds Doc Talk

Relatable. Knowledgeable. Diverse topics.

#7 Unruffled

Parenting. Gentle. Perspective.

#8 On Purpose

Interviews. Deep. Insightful.

#9 The Daily

News. Storytelling. Relevant.

#10 The Marie Forleo Podcast

Fun. Inspiring. Advice.

#11 The Mel Robbins Podcast

Direct. Authentic. Fun.

Ok your turn – what are some of your favorite podcasts right now?

5 on a Friday – A Book, A Thought, and More

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Happy first Friday in January 2023! I hope your first week of the new year was restful, easy (as possible), and fun.

I’m kicking off the year with what I hope will be a regular series of posts on the blog. Today I’m calling it ‘5 on a Friday.’ I may change my mind on the title later, but essentially, every Friday I’ll share random things from the week that seem interesting (well, to me!). I LOVE it when other bloggers write these kinds of posts because I always walk away with something new – an idea, a product, a recipe, etc.

With that, here are today’s 5 things…

A Book

Y’all! Michelle Obama’s newest book is a gem. The Light We Carry feels a lot like Becoming in that it really comes across like a conversation with a close girlfriend. But the learnings, tips, and takeaways from this new book are just…wow! And I’m only a little less than half way through. Highly recommend this one!

A Thought

My toxic trait is that I feel like at the end of any disagreement or moment of discomfort with another human, I’m the one to blame. And I ruminate on that thought, creating stories and rabbit holes, etc.

I recently read somewhere that that kind of thinking is just as narcissistic as thinking nothing is ever your fault because you’re still making it all about you. THIS BLEW MY MIND because I’ve never thought of myself as a narcissist. But it makes total sense.

So I’m leaving this kind of thought pattern in 2022, and going forward, I’m going to work on my communication, my self-talk, as well as look at the situation from a 360 degree perspective. I think this will leave less space for making it my fault (re: about me).

Mila, Naps, and Daycare

Mila, my almost 15 month old baby girl, has been in daycare for a little over two months now. And she absolutely loves it! The whole idea of sending her at 12 months was very daunting and stressful for me, but it’s working out so far.

This week was a big one because she transitioned to a new classroom. In this new classroom, all the kids nap at the same time, with the lights off, on a cot, with blankets. And in true Parita fashion, I was nervous about this part of the transition. What if she doesn’t nap? What if she hates the cot?

Well, turns out she likes it! On her first day napping in the new classroom, she clocked in 1.5 hours! The school sent us a picture of her sleeping, and O-M-G…she looks so cute!

This anecdote is just a reminder to all of us, especially me, that most things work out just fine. We need to give them time! AND kids are super resilient and agile.

Awarify Coaching Newsletter

One of my goals for the year is to send out the Awarify Coaching newsletter twice a month (re: every other Friday). If you like what I post here or on IG in terms of the deeper, more thought-provoking content, please sign up! I promise it’s never going to be spammy or too over-the-top salesy. It’s really just a place for me to talk about personal development related topics with people who like and resonate with those kinds of ideas.

This week’s newsletter is a good one because I’m share the 14 questions I answered during my work and life planning/strategy session earlier this week. This list of questions is great for entrepreneurs AND/OR for people who want to live a more intentional life. I think I’m going to reflect and review this list every quarter to make sure I’m tracking and taking into account the person I’m evolving into every step of the way.

A Wish for the New Year

“In this new year, may you have a deep understanding of your true value and worth, an absolute faith in your unlimited potential, peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty, the confidence to let go when you need to, acceptance to replace your resistance, gratitude to open your heart, the strength to meet your challenges, great love to replace your fear, forgiveness and compassion for those who offend you, clear sight to see your best and true path, hope to dispel obscurity, the conviction to make your dreams come true, meaningful and rewarding synchronicities, dear friends who truly know and love you, a childlike trust in the benevolence of the universe, the humility to remain teachable, the wisdom to fully embrace your life exactly as it is, the understanding that every soul has its own course to follow, the discernment to recognize your own unique inner voice of truth, and the courage to learn to be still.”
― Janet Rebhan

With that, here’s to an amazing 2023!

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