Ok, so let me set this up a little before sharing the story…
Kaiden goes to a private school, which is something I never imagined for my kids. But here we are. The thing about his school is they focus equally on academics/learning AND character development/kindness. I absolutely love this about the curriculum and have seen a lot of evidence that it’s reaching him in more ways than one.
Vishnu and I have really enjoyed getting to know the parents of his classmates via birthday parties, school events, and school parties. Everyone, for the most part, has been so kind and friendly.
That said, I did have an unkind experience with another mom at a recent event. To make a long story short, this mom and I have messaged each other and interacted several times. She definitely knows who I am. So imagine my surprise when she walks right past us, says hi to all the other parents seated around us, and then proceeds to sit down in front of me without as much as a smile. I immediately grabbed Vishnu’s knee and just ignored her because…what else could I have done?!
On our drive home, Vishnu and I broke the interaction down, and it basically came down to this…maybe there was something going on for her in that moment. Who knows.
Ok so it doesn’t end there. There’s a positive turning point!
Vishnu interacted with her this past weekend (I was at my volunteer event), and he told me how she mentioned that her kid is extremely book smart but socially not as much. The second Vishnu told me this, everything made sense.
Every single time I see her, she’s talking playdates and her kid’s social interactions in the classroom, including which reading group he’s in and who he sits with, etc. I’m no therapist, but I think she’s trying really hard to make up for this so called ‘lack’ she sees in her kid by bringing extra attention to it however and whenever she can.
This doesn’t answer the question of why she ignored me when she definitely saw me, but it does help me extend extra grace because she’s a mom, just like me, who’s trying to navigate the world of parenthood and, even if she doesn’t know it, address the inner wounds in her that then get projected on to her kid (again, just like me!).
Also, all of this served as a little reminder to me…to say hi first next time!
Thanks for sharing this story, Parita! It’s amazing how much a school’s curriculum can impact a child’s character development. It’s also great to see that you and Vishnu are making an effort to get to know the parents of Kaiden’s classmates. I’m sorry to hear about the unkind experience you had with the other mom, but it’s wonderful that you and Vishnu were able to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. It’s a good reminder for all of us to extend grace and kindness to others, even when they may not reciprocate it. And yes, saying hi first is always a good idea!