Days 58-74: Same Old But Lots to Think About

I think my day count is right. Who knows at this point. I still can’t believe we’re 70+ days into our shelter in place. I naively thought we’d be ‘out of it’ much sooner.

With that being said, our days at home pretty much look like days 1-58. Still trying to juggle working with parenting. Still trying to juggle mine and Vishnu’s needs for time and space. Still trying to naturally squeeze in learning for K…in the form of every day activities and conversations. Still (sometimes) feel guilty for all the TV he watches, although he is definitely showing more learning comprehension from both the shows he watches and the books we read. So there is that. Oh and we still have a huge family love for all of our Where’s Waldo books. I think we’re up to 6 now! After I ordered two more, Vishnu ordered another two. Ha!

Other than that, we’re pretty much living the same old routine and life. I do try to spice things up with ‘fun’ activities. Most of which work well the first time around and by the 2nd or 3rd time, K is over it and wants to just run around. Ha!

Work is going well. We have a few big events/meetings next week and things should hopefully calm down a little (ish!). While it’s still super challenging to find time to sit down and just work (between calls and Kaiden), I ‘think’ I’m finding a rhythm that works for me. I call it the 24/7 work week where all days/times are open for working. I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but it does for me. It gives me more flexibility in terms of when I can get things done. Unless it’s time sensitive, I try and fit things in where and when I can. And that maybe on Thursday morning or Saturday afternoon. Thankfully my organisation supports this (at least for now), so I’m going with it.

Speaking of work, my friend Ruchika from @meditatingmommy invited me to do a IG Live with her. We actually did it yesterday but you can find the playback on Ruchika’s profile. We talked about being a mom/working mom at this time, setting boundaries, and how to say no. It was a great conversation, and I hope you’ll give it a listen.

It’s sad and crazy to think about how we’ve been quarantining in our home, three black Americans were murdered for no damn reason other than the color of their skin. It’s sickening, and it needs to stop.

These recent ‘events’ have given me a huge pause. Like what are we doing in this country. Not only are we being taken over by a deadly virus and all the behaviors and inequity that comes with that, but now police brutality and racism and hatred are showing up over and over again.

The problem seems so much bigger than any one of us. And that’s what always gets me. I get caught up in the, “What can I do?” mindset. And I’ve realized that there’s plenty we as individuals can do. We can ask more of our government officials. We can have open conversations with friends and family members. We can open up our homes for our kids to ask questions and learn in a safe space. We can make sure their books are diverse and talk about inequality, etc. We can make sure our group of friends reflects the world around us.

The bottom line is we can do something. It may not make a difference today or tomorrow, but I truly believe if every person took these things into consideration and did something to bring awareness, lessen judgment, eradicate hate, we could get somewhere.

Man, there’s so much I want to say about this. And look, I’m not perfect, but I’m just thinking about my childhood and everything I’ve experienced and the decisions I’ve made to date, and it all adds up.

I once had a conversation with a follower who’s now more like a friend who said that we (as in immigrants to the US) owe our success to black Americans. This is not to say other races have not been met with difficulty, hardship, etc. What we discussed was that it was that much easier for our parents and others who came here because they had people who went through/were going through/are going through the struggle, the oppression, the racism.

Any POC who says they know what black Americans go through/feel is a liar. No you don’t. Again, this is not to say your struggle is less than, but you don’t know the fear – for your family and friends, your children.

I read something from a black mom who said that she doesn’t want her son to be a hashtag. Let that sink in.

Anyways, enough rambling from me. It’s late now. I should go to bed. But I had to share these thoughts because I refuse to remain silent and feel helpless.

With that, I hope you have a good weekend.