I kind of dropped off there for a bit, didn’t I?! Days 36-42 were pretty good…considering the current situation.
Professional doubts and heightened emotions
I did have a few moments at the start of the week, but after a conversation with one of my best co-worker friends, I felt so much better.
Essentially, I was scrolling through LinkedIn, and I happened to see that one of my elementary school friends was promoted to a very senior role in her company. Obviously, I was happy for her, but I also went down a rabbit hole questioning my professional accomplishments, etc. Truth be told, I was ‘ahead’ of her academically growing up. I then started thinking about others I grew up with and started comparing where they are with where I am.
When I got on a call with my friend Ros, we pretty much got to the bottom of it. I’m pretty sure those emotions came up because I’m currently questioning myself professionally. I used to be highly productive and a high performer. I like to get things done and I’m very results oriented. This whole working from home with a toddler has thrown my off my groove and I don’t see myself as a contributor anymore. Ros said that it’s natural to feel that way right now, but also to be aware that in a situation like this, all of our emotions are heightened – the good and the bad. She said to give myself grace.
She also offered a personal example of how she’s feeling during this quarantine, and it really hit home for me then. We all have our shit, and what we see online is no reflection of reality. I saw a promotion and immediately thought that someone’s life is perfect.
Even though I don’t feel like I’m contributing as much right now, I do have a lot of other wonderful things in my life like my baby boy and my loving husband. We have our health (and thankfully our family’s health). We have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry/fridge. We’re doing ok.
As far as questioning my professional accomplishments, I took some time later that day to think about what I have accomplished, along with what I’ve been able to do with this blog, and it ain’t so bad! I’m actually very happy in my job. In fact…
This was a good week overall. I ran a successful call. My boss and I had some productive conversations. And I ended the week with a good call that resulted in learning about some exciting work in the pipeline where I’ll hopefully be able to use my passion for storytelling.
So the bottom line is to not compare and when in doubt think through at a deep level who you are and what you’ve accomplished. Also, this crisis is going to heighten every emotion. Stay aware of that!
Other than all that, this was a decent week.
- We think Kaiden’s starting to get bored, so I’m going to have to get creative with some activities. He gets easily bored/restless as it is, and the current situation isn’t helping.
- Kaiden napped for 3 whole hours one day. I worked for the first 2 and then sat around waiting for him to wake up for the last hour. I figured he’d be up soon and that didn’t happen until an hour later. Ay ay ay! Lesson learned – just do what you need to do, and if he wakes up, he wakes up.
- The next day, he didn’t nap at all. Go figure!
- Vishnu’s been watching episodes of Succession at night, and I somehow got pulled in even though I didn’t want to start a new show right now. I didn’t watch every episode of season 1 all the way through, but I may have to actually watch season 2 with Vishnu. It’s pretty good…and messed up!
- I napped while Kaiden napped this past Saturday, and man did I need it! I felt like I was hit by a Mack Truck…so much so that I woke up in a panic thinking I had Coronavirus.
- I’m loving my new Sephora purchases. I need to pull together a post of everything once I’ve used it enough times to produce a fair POV. Working on it!
- I was singing yesterday (a Coco song – one of Kaiden’s favorites), and K looked at me and said, “Alexa, stop.” He then dissolved into giggles. What a sassy pants!
Well, that’s what’s been going on in our neck of the woods. Tell me more about what you’ve been up to!