Swim Class Updates + A Question to Ease Mom Guilt

Swim Class Updates

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented and/or messaged me about my swim class concerns.  Y’all are the best!  It turns out I can do it!  I managed to get both myself and Kaiden out the door, to class, and back home in one piece.  One very tired piece, but hey, we made it!

I decided to pack a little differently this time.  I basically used one duffel bag for all of our dry stuff and the bag we got from the swim school for our wet stuff.  I also said a little prayer so K would sit still for 10 seconds before attempting to change.  It worked!

Swim class itself was a lot of fun too.  Towards the end, the teacher had every baby go down a makeshift slide into their parents arms.  Kaiden LOVED it!  Still not a huge fan of water on his head/face, but we’re working on it.

A Question to Erase Mom Guilt 

My mama friends and I talk about mom guilt all the time.  Even though we logically understand there’s nothing to feel guilty about as long as our babies are loved and well taken care of, it still manages to linger around.

The other day, I got to thinking about my own mom and MIL and the emotions they likely felt when raising their kids.  That train of thought made me think about how Vishnu and I view their lives and if we truly feel they are fulfilled and happy now.

I can’t speak for my MIL because I didn’t grow up with her, but as far as my mom is concerned, I know she put my sister and I above everything else.  My parents pretty much rearranged their entire schedules to ensure someone was home with us at all times.  And even though my sister and I know and appreciate this, my mom still felt guilt.  I think her main source of guilt came from having to work.  On the other hand, I only feel guilty about working when K’s sick.

Our guilt differs in other ways too.  I feel a guilt when I mourn my freedom of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want.  I don’t think my mom ever thought about losing her pre-baby freedom.  I feel guilty when we opt to take a Kaiden free trip.  Something my parents didn’t do until we were pretty much out of the house (and honestly, the thought probably never occurred to them).  I feel guilty when I go out with friends and leave Vishnu and K at home.  My mom didn’t go out with friends without us (she didn’t want to).  You get my point.

So here’s the question that appeared from these thoughts…

What would future Kaiden want for me?  Or in your case, what would future [insert child’s name] want for me?

We get so caught up in the here and now that we fail to see how interconnected our happiness and well-being is to our children’s.

I know from personal experience that my mom’s happiness, mood, and well-being had a huge impact on the rest of us.  And even now at the age of 34, I wish her and my dad went on date nights (without us…ha!), I wish she took the time to make one or two close girlfriends and spent solo time with them, etc.

Understanding how I think about these things as an adult is helping me release my mom guilt.  Because I know when I take time to refuel my tank regularly and consistently, I’m a much better mom.  Not only am I happier on the outside, but I truly feel it on the inside.  And even though he doesn’t know it yet, present day and future Kaiden both want a mom who takes care of herself and loves life because of it!

The next time mom guilt creeps up on you, think about how you want the future version of your kid to think about you and how you live/lived your life.

That alone should help get you out of the house doing whatever fills your tank!