My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Restaurants
  • Recipes
  • Par’s Picks
  • Privacy Policy

Working Mama Tears

written by Parita 2 Comments

Last night, as Vishnu and I perused our shared iCloud photo album titled ‘Baby K,’ he looked at me and said, “When you go back to work and feel sad, just look through this album to be reminded of what you get to come home to.’

He, of course, had the very best intentions when saying this.  In fact, he even shared that this is what he does on a daily basis.

However, I started sobbing before he even finished his sentence.  The thought of not being with Kaiden brought tears to my eyes.

Working mama tears

Thankfully, my husband knows me well and was able to talk me through my feelings.  I eventually calmed down.

So here’s the thing.  I’m going to be a working mom.  In 5 weeks and 2 days, I will get up, get ready, and go to the office for nine hours.  Then I’ll come home, hang out with Kaiden for a few hours and do it all over again the next day.

Above all else, I have to work.  There’s no way around it for us right now financially.  Let me also say, despite feeling really sad about not being with my baby for nine hours of the day, there’s a part of me that looks forward to going back to work. Which brings me to my next point…

Part of me is excited to go back to work, to wear something other than pajamas and active wear everyday, to interact with other adults, to use my brain a bit more strategically, etc.  Sure, I wish I could do all of this on a part time basis, but like I said, it’s just not possible right now.  There’s another part of me that wishes I could work from home.  And finally, there’s a huge part of me that feels guilty for being excited about going back to work and also for knowing that I wouldn’t be completely happy staying at home.  Even though I love my baby oh so much.

Oy vey…so many emotions (including guilt).

You see, Kaiden is my wish come true.  I’ve wanted him for as long as I can remember.  And it really kills me that both Vishnu and I are going to miss so much time with him.  I’m slowly coming to terms with it, but it still hurts my heart.

On the flip side, I’ve worked so hard for my professional life.  So many risks, so much studying, so many meetings, SO many moves.  And I have more I want to accomplish.  I truly enjoy what I do and the people I work with.

Beyond all of this, it brings me a sense of pride to know that Kaiden will grow up watching me (and Vishnu) integrate work and life.  It won’t be seamless.  It’ll likely be clumsy and a little messy.  And it will definitely require compromise.  And let’s be honest, I’ll probably cry a lot (ha!).  But at the end of the day, I hope he remembers I did my absolute best.  For him and for me (and Vishnu).

I’ll definitely share more about being a working mama on MIS in the coming months/years, but for now, I’ll leave you with this…

…regardless of whether you’re a working mom, a work from home mom, or a stay at home mom, you’re doing great.  You’re also a lot stronger than you think.  Motherhood is certainly not easy (physically, mentally, and emotionally), but it’s one heck of a love-filled, all consuming, amazing experience, and our tiny humans freaking adore us regardless of the labels we use to describe ourselves.  

Related Posts

  • A Crazy Monday!A Crazy Monday!
  • State of Our Household – THREE YEARS OLD!State of Our Household – THREE YEARS OLD!
  • Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Ruchika SanyalDiary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Ruchika Sanyal
  • State of Our Household [2.5 Years]State of Our Household [2.5 Years]
  • Tips/Tricks for Flying with a Two-Year-OldTips/Tricks for Flying with a Two-Year-Old

Written on September 25, 2017 Related:motherhood, Uncategorized

Comments

    Leave a Reply Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. Pragati says

    September 25, 2017 at 6:58 am

    As a working mom, I 100% agree. Matteo just turned one and I still cry when I leave him sometimes! I wish maternity leave was longer. 3 months is so short!!

    Reply
    • Parita says

      September 27, 2017 at 10:08 pm

      I can see myself crying regularly too! And yes to longer PAID mat leave. We’re so behind in the US… 🙁

      Reply
Welcome to My Inner Shakti! This is my little corner of the internet where I explore and share more about the things that give me my inner strength. I hope you stick around! Read More Here...

MIS gives back!

All advertising proceeds from this blog will be donated to a different charity every month!

Subscribe to MIS

Sign up now to receive all the latest from My Inner Shakti straight to your inbox!

Follow me on Feedly!

follow us in feedly

LOVE my blog!

Follow on Bloglovin

Web Hosting

categories

Archives

Top Posts!

  • My Experience with Apple Cider Vinegar
  • DIY Diaper Pail
  • Marriage Advice for My Little Sister
  • Vidhi
  • Homemade Wax Recipe
  • How to Crisp Up a Tortilla
  • Drunk Elephant Daytime and Nighttime Skincare Routines
  • An Honest Review of “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”
  • The State of My Skin + Drunk Elephant A-Passioni Retinol Cream
  • Using Costco Travel to Book Our Trip to Italy

Follow me on Instagram!

Copyright ©2022, My Inner Shakti. All Rights Reserved. Custom design by Pixel Me Designs