Early on in life, being picky is usually seen as negative thing. For example, toddlers can be picky eaters and that can oftentimes pose a problem for parents.
Even later in life, I’ve had several friends be told that they’re too picky because they aren’t married yet. (Side note: I mean, I get that parents worry, but really? Too picky about who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? Hmm…)
Now that I’m in my thirties, I consider pickiness to be a positive attribute. I know it’s cliché, but you only get this one life. There are no second chances or do overs. That’s why I’m not going to apologize for being picky about the following three things. In fact, I’m only going to be pickier from here on out!
TIME
Like it is with so many other things in life, we oftentimes don’t respect time until it’s a thing of the past. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Time is precious.
And that’s exactly why I want to be pickier about how I spend my time. Admittedly, I’m not the best at this. However, I’m trying to be more present and aware of how I choose to spend my free time. If I find myself aimlessly watching TV or surfing the internet, I check in and ask myself if this is really what I want to be doing right now. If the answer is yes, then I continue on. If the answer is no, I turn my attention to something more meaningful.
I’m also trying to be better about prioritizing my time so that it’s not always filled with other people’s agenda items. This ensures that the ever important “me” activities don’t get pushed to the back burner.
PEOPLE
Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that one of the best things you can do is be picky about who you let into your life.
I used to be the kind of person that wanted everyone to be a part of her life. Even if people didn’t return the favor, I’d do my absolute best to keep in touch. I’d also make excuses for people who were less than kind. And those excuses usually resulted in me blaming myself for their behavior. One word comes to mind when I think of those days…EXHAUSTING!
So now, I’m choosing to be picky not only about who comes into my life but also who stays. I’m trying very hard to be more positive, grounded and zen. The last thing I need is someone else’s negative energy. And by no means am I saying that I only want positive people all the time. In fact, that wouldn’t be very authentic at all. I guess my point is that if someone’s overall vibe is negative, I don’t want or need it.
LIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT!
MONEY
I’m a firm believer in that money (aka “things”) can’t buy happiness. In my 31 years, I’ve seen plenty of unhappy people with plenty of money and “things.” I’ve also seen lots of happy people with very little in terms of the things money can buy. Now, I know this isn’t as black and white as I’m making it seem, but overall, when I reflect on the happiest/most fulfilling moments in my life, they had nothing to do with the things money can buy. They did, however, have to do with an experience of some sort. And I totally acknowledge that some experiences in life require a little dough!
Vishnu and I are ridiculously fortunate in terms of our finances. Don’t get me wrong. We aren’t bringing in the big bucks by any means, but for the most part, money isn’t something we worry about regularly. However, that doesn’t mean we can/should spend freely on “things.” In fact, my goal with our next move is to get rid of as many “things” as possible.
What I do want is for us to be pickier about how we prioritize between things and experiences. For example, I splurged a little for better seats at the Aziz Ansari show this weekend because I know it’s going to be a fun experience for both me and Vishnu. AND it’s his birthday! Travel is another experience I want us to prioritize. Our trip to Italy, while expensive, was beyond amazing! The memories we created will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Sometimes “things” are necessary and even warranted, but when it comes to how you choose to spend your money, prioritize and pick experiences over “things.” Trust me, you’re guaranteed to get a better happiness return!
Thanks for reading and happy Friday!
Do you find yourself getting pickier as you get older? How so?
I just had a conversation with a friend about how I was going to stop spending my time on people who don’t make time for me. I have a really bad habit of giving and giving and giving until I reach my max and then I just can’t anymore. By that point, I usually end up not wanting to have anything to do with that person. It’s a horrible cycle! As I approach 32 I’m being more conscious about how I spend my time and with whom.
Pragati // Simple Medicine recently posted…Dark Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Loaf
I feel you. At this point in my life, I want to focus on the people who really count and want to be counted.
Stopping by from UBC FB page.
I can completely relate with your post. I’ve written about something similar myself. I’m definitely picky / finicky about things – especially when it comes to my time. My work requires me to be extremely social – however there’s a boundary there – only my ‘friends’ have access to ‘me’. Like you, I tend to spend my money on experiences as opposed to material things – at the end of the day, I have one life – might as well make the most of it 🙂
Hi! Glad this resonated with you. And totally agree, all of these things have boundaries. Once I reach that point, I reevaluate.
I am so with you on all three! Especially the people… a few years ago I realized I was hanging around people I didn’t even really LIKE… so I “broke up” with them. KNow how many days I’ve missed them? ZERO.
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted…Spicy Pumpkin Chicken Salad [Recipe]
Haha. I’ve been around people like that too. Such a load off your shoulders once you realize it!
I completely agree with all of this, especially being picky about what people you let in and choosing experiences over things, those are major focuses in my life lately. Great post Parita!
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From reading your blog, it seems like you and Tom do a great job with this! And I totally count going out to eat an experience…one of the best kinds!
I am a UBCer. These are principles that I live by. Choosing who you associate with is not picky or snobbish, its just wise. Many people have so-called friends that, not only do not enhance their lives, but are the cause for their lack of success. Great post. Stay picky.
Thank you! And you are so right. It’s not picky it’s just being smart.
So much truth in this post! While I agree with all 3 points, you nailed it with people! Toxic people do no good and if somebody is bringing destructive & negative energy, you need to filter it out! The older I get, the less bad I feel about not keeping up with certain people especially when it is a one-sided relationship.
Khushboo recently posted…Getting your sugar cravings under control
Love this post and I have to agree, it’s important to be picky about certain things in life.
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Such a great #3TT post! I couldn’t agree with you more on all three of these. I’ve recently finished the book on Essentialism by Greg McKewon and this points totally resonates with his book. Life is too short and you have to learn to be an essentialist, especially in these three areas. I’ve been pushing myself to say No more when I’m not 100% sure something is worth my time and energy. It’s very rewarding in the long-run.
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I think everyone should be picky about certain things in life especially how they spend their time. Choosing how you want to spend your time and prioritizing can make all the difference in happiness and living stress free.
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