“What is your one big goal for our marriage?”
This is the random question I asked Vishnu the other day. I brought it up because even though we’ve had a million “deep conversations,” this question has never been discussed. And I wanted to hear whatever sweet response he came up with!
But seriously, I think questions like this and the conversations that follow are important to building and sustaining a strong relationship. They keep you connected in a different and deeper way. And more often than not, they remind you of why you’re together!
So, when I asked Vishnu about his one big goal for our marriage, he responded immediately. And here’s what he had to say (I’m paraphrasing)…
From our engagement shoot – November 2011
My goal is to continue to be best friends throughout our marriage. That’s the relationship that kicked this whole thing off, and it’s the one that’s most important to me.
Some people take the words marriage, husband, and wife too seriously. They put parameters around who they’re supposed to be, what they can and can’t do, what they should and shouldn’t do, etc. They place too much emphasis on the role instead of treating the other person like a friend (or better yet being friends). For example, when it comes to our friends, we make an effort to keep in touch, know what’s happening in their lives, ask questions, be genuinely interested, etc. We should be doing that every day with our significant others!
Of course, there’s a time to be serious and there’s an inherent responsibility that comes with the words “I do.” But when friendship is at the base of it all, and you nurture that element of your relationship on a daily basis, it’ll pay dividends for years to come!
Love his answer!
And here’s my answer.
How we entered our wedding reception. The song we walked in with was ‘Snap Yo Fingers’, and Vishnu was Lil Jon (clearly!).
My goal is to make having fun a priority throughout our marriage. It’s my favorite part about us as a couple, and I want that to be the case for the next 50+ years!
Life’s too short not to have fun, whether that’s at work or when you’re with family and friends, but especially when you’re spending time with your partner in crime. And fun by no means equals fancy vacations, dinners out, or material “stuff.” It’s truly the little things. I always tell Vishnu that we could be in a shack in the middle of nowhere, but as long as we’re laughing and having a good time, we’ll be just fine!
Ladies, my one piece of advice is to marry someone who knows how to make you smile/laugh and gets your kind of fun. Of course, it’s not the only thing you should look for, but it will definitely make every day of your marriage one to look forward to!
And before you think it’s all roses and unicorns over here in the MIS household, let me assure you that we have our ups and downs. As I’ve always said, when you take two different people and bring them together…for life…there will be conflict. The goal is to keep it healthy and productive. Vishnu and I never let disagreements simmer for long periods of time. We give ourselves some alone time, talk about it, and forget about it (eventually!). But going back to our responses, when your goals include being best friends and having as much fun as possible, the conflicts/disagreements becomes easier to deal with and less frequent.
What’s your one big relationship goal (whether you’re in one or not)?
10 thoughts on “His & Her: One Big Marriage Goal”
Hmm this is a tough one! I would have to say: happiness. Whatever form that takes, I want us to be happy.
Pragati // Simple Medicine recently posted…Do I Need to Eat More Protein?
I love that my husband makes me laugh. I also love how he puts things into perspective and keeps it real.
Charlotte recently posted…My left leg….one step at a time.
Such a simple, yet thoughtful question. Thank you for sharing <3
Kamana@SocialandStyle recently posted…#DesignerSpotlight – Cupcakes and Cashmere x Nordstrom collab
It’s funny, Tom and I had a really similar conversation last night (it was our 4 year dating anniversary so we were reflecting) and our answers were really similar. Our personalities are just so similar and we have a blast together. It’s such a great foundation for a lasting relationship! Great post! I love reading about you guys, you seem like a really great, fun couple!
Kacy recently posted…San Telmo Market + A Major Travel Fail
i think having fun together is a big one for me..because like you said, there are always ups and downs but if we are able to face that both and have fun, i think it will be just okay 🙂
dixya | food, pleasure, and health recently posted…5 Must Have Spices
Love the questions and answers! You guys really are a wonderful couple. For us, the goals would be similar; to stay friends and be able to laugh together.
Salma recently posted…3 Things Thursday – Week 71
This post is too freakin cute! My answer is going to sound unoriginal — based on everyone else’s answers 🙂 — but having fun together is always my relationship goal. Oh and to never stop communicating with each other 🙂
Lauren recently posted…Last Night at Red Rocks
I love both of your answers!! He makes such a good point that we make an effort with our friends and we should do the same with our significant other. You guys are awesome 🙂
I think mine for the both of us is to always have each others backs. No matter what ups and downs that may come over the years I never want to forget we are in it together.
Krystal // The Krystal Diaries recently posted…Body Shaming
This is a great conversation to have with your spouse. I like both of your answers equally. I think one thing I’ve learned after getting married is that it’s more important to remember to stay and be friends versus husband & wife. If Vishnu said I do think I put more of an effort being a friend than I do into being a wife (guilty as charged!). I also think it’s incredibly important to have FUN and not each other too seriously all the time.
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