The husband wife relationship is one that truly embodies the “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours” philosophy. At least in our experience.
Before we got married, Vishnu and I didn’t share much. Not that we didn’t want to, but we lived in different states for the better part of the last four years of our relationship.
Almost immediately upon saying “I do” it became quite apparent that marriage is all about sharing. Case in point…we went from living independently to now sharing a 650 sq. ft. apartment, a tiny closet, a bathroom, a car, bank accounts, medical insurance, friends, household responsibilities, and yes, sometimes even a razor (shhh don’t tell Vishnu!).
None of this was a surprise to us. We actually planned for all of it.
However, the thing that sometimes comes as a surprise is what I like to call “shared stress.” Let me illustrate with a recent example.
A few weeks ago, Vishnu received a letter in the mail stating that he was being summoned for jury duty at the beginning of March. I put a note in my calendar to remind him to call the courthouse and confirm his participation.
Last Friday, I reminded Vishnu to call the courthouse. When he saw there was an online option to check-in, he opted for that. All was good and we proceeded to enjoy our weekend.
On Monday morning, Vishnu gets up at 6:45 so that he can be out the door at 7:15 to walk over to the courthouse. He walks over to my side of the bed and gives me a kiss. Immediately upon waking up I tell him I’ll make breakfast and ask if he needs to bring his lunch. He says that he didn’t see anything on the website but that he’ll check before leaving.
I get out of bed at 7:00, brush my teeth, and go in to the kitchen to make us breakfast. As I’m pulling things out of the fridge, I hear Vishnu say that he needs to bring his lunch with him and that he needs to be dressed in business casual clothes. Neither of which he planned for. I look at the clock…it’s 7:09.
I immediately start making a sandwich. I then wash a bunch of grapes and find the one remaining trail mix packet in our pantry.
As I’m frantically pulling everything together, I yell, “I don’t like this shared stress!!!” To which Vishnu responds, “You married me!!!” Touché, husband, touché!
Vishnu appears in the kitchen looking quite relaxed at about 7:20. I ask him why he isn’t rushing, and he says he’ll just take the train. Say what?!
As I stand there shaking my head, he drinks his protein shake, throws his lunch in his backpack, kisses me goodbye, and heads out the door at 7:30.
So yes, marriage really is all about “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours.” Even stress.
He’s lucky he’s cute!