Like many immigrants, my parents came to this country with very little. Two suitcases and $40 between the two of them.
When I sit back and really think about this and look at how much they’ve accomplished in 32 years, I’m truly amazed. Talk about starting at the bottom and working your way up! But even more than what they’ve accomplished, it’s how they’ve done it. Simply put, they never gave up. Settling for the path of least resistance (or no resistance) was never an option. And it’s still not. In fact, I would say that this is the best unintentional lesson they’ve passed on to me and my sister.
A perfect example of this would my mom recently getting a new job (same company, new job). A little bit of background information – my mom has been trying to move into a different department for the last year. When she realized that most of the jobs she was interested in required two specific financial licensing exams, she talked to her management and signed up ASAP (this is where I get it from!). Not only did she sign up for the exams, but she studied hard and passed both of them on the first go. No easy feat! Then, after applying to numerous positions, going on a ton of interviews, and never making the cut, she finally made a really good connection with a hiring manager and got a job she’s excited about.
When my mom first heard she got the job, she was obviously overjoyed! One of the very first things she said to me when we spoke was that she wants to share a message with people – a message about not giving up.
And that is why instead of sharing my thoughts about my mom’s experience, I’m letting her do the talking while I do the typing!
Me: Hi momma! I’m so excited to help you share your story with people like you wanted. Anything you want to say before we get started?
Momma: Hello to all of Parita’s My Inner Shakti readers! I’m excited to share my thoughts with all of you.
Me: You’ve been trying to move upwards and onwards for a long time. What kept you going?
Momma: I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. Also, I knew it was time to try something new and I knew I could do it! I was going to get there.
Me: Did you ever felt like giving up? What kept you from doing so?
Momma: Yes, I did feel like giving up, but I did not let that thought stay in my mind for too long. I didn’t give up because I was confident that I could do what I wanted to do. Eventually, I was going to get there. It just required a little bit of patience from me. Also my faith helped me a lot. It reminded me that it’s natural to feel frustrated every now and then, but at the same time it gave me the strength to move forward.
Me: What would you say were your biggest lessons learned over the last year or so?
Momma: The biggest one was to never ever give up on something you believe in. As long as you don’t do that, you will get there. Persistency is the key to everything in life. Also, there’s a lot of power in believing in yourself. No matter how frustrated you get or how hard life gets, look inwards and push outward.
Me: If you could go back and do things differently, would you?
Momma: No, not really. Except maybe be more patient! Everything happens for a reason. It’s hard to think this way when you’re in the middle of a challenge, but that’s a fact. And I guess I would have done more mental reality checks. Even though I wanted a different job, I wish I had stopped to be a little more grateful that I already had a good job. Always appreciate what you have, even while trying for new and different things.
Me: What advice would you give someone facing a difficult situation right now who is wanting to give up?
Momma: Think about how you want to feel after the situation has passed and use that to motivate you. If you give up, you will not get there. But if you persist and keep moving forward, you will. One way or another you will get there.
Me: Any last words?
Momma: I don’t believe in giving up! Don’t ever do that!
What’s the best unintentional lesson your parents have passed on to you?
so true and something i need to keep telling myself – be patient and do not give up! thanks parita for having your mom over…it was a pleasure 🙂
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Thanks, D! And patience is something I’m constantly working on as well.
Firstly a HUGE congrats to your mom- what a rockstar :)! Love her outlook towards getting the job she wanted and life overall- so much to learn from her. One thing I learnt from my mom is to treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s such a simple reminder but at the end of the day, the energy you put out is exactly the kind of energy that will come right back at you.
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Hi Khushboo, it is absolutely true what your mom said is that to treat others the way you wanted to be treated!! I always try to remember this.
Thanks, K! She is a rock star! And I love you mom’s lesson as well. I truly believe that energy out equals energy in – whether that’s good, bad, or indifferent!
I love this!!! I have the same perspective on working hard because of my parents. They have worked hard their entire lives and naturally, those values of working hard for what you want have been instilled in me.
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Congrats to your mom, Parita! Woohoo!!!! Having the tenacity to never give up on the process when you are on the brink of change is an important message to keep top of mind. We have to remember that we are enough and the Universe knows more about timing than we do – patience and perseverance paid off for you mom and I hope she continues to love her new job! P.S. Loved the Q&A format!
Thank you Shannon,
One important reminder for me is it may even seems like simplest thing doesn’t come by easily for you where it just happens for others without even trying, that’s when changing the focus on you and not waste any energy on others will be most beneficial!!
Our mum’s have similar stories- Thanks for sharing this! I truly believe if you want something bad enough, there is always a way and you’re mum’s answers replicate that.
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Thanks, A! As they say, where there’s a will there’s a way 🙂
Love this and thank you for sharing aunty and Par! I think all immigrants and first generation immigrants all share something similar in what our parents came to America with, and how to “make it”. It was tough and times were hard for us as my dad was finishing his post-doc and teaching in universities, and my mom was also teaching. I never felt like we didn’t have things though because both my parents never let my sister and I know iF times were tough. That’s probably one of the most important things they’ve taught me: chase your dreams and remain humbled by the experiences you encounter.
Thanks Aparna, yes it is similar struggle for so many of us and it was tough at times, specially when parita was just 3yr old and we lost all material items in the apartment fire, without any property insurance. Yet we got up thinking that at least we were all ok and no one was hurt, it could’ve been lot worst. All things have two sides, just have to find the positive side and keep going!!
Thanks, Par! You’re absolutely right. I’m sure so many immigrant families can relate to this because in order to get to where they are now giving up was just not an option. You’re parents sound awesome too!
Congratulations, to your mother! My parents have always taught me, to do good,be good. No matter how other people treat you, you reap what YOU sow! It tends to be hard, at times but I know it works well for my inner soul and karma!
Thanks! That’s a great lesson too – and you’re absolutely right, you definitely reap what you sow.
Fab post and thanks for sharing, it was just the reminder I needed! Congratulations to your mom. It’s so easy to give up but all the people who have “made it” got there because they never stopped believing they’d make it and get there. Great advice x
Thanks, Natasha!
Aww, love this interview with your mom!
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Thanks, Salma!
Very nice post P. I love that your mom at her age studied and passed the exam. I know a lot of Indian moms who don’t work and have that mentality of just taking care of the home, which is fine too, but I like seeing women of her generation working, studying, and kicking butt. I’m taking away the following from your mom… never giving up and being persistent is the key to life. Thank you!
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Thanks Nisha, yes it is so tempting to look for easy way out when we see the road has become harder to reach where you are trying to go, but key point is not to give up and ignore the unnecessary distractions!
There’s nothing typical about my mom! It makes me so happy and proud to see her pursuing her own dreams. That’s where a lot of parents get lost I think. They live for their kids but when their kids branch out on their own they lose that sense of self.
Very inspiring post Parita! Thank your mom for sharing her story with us. Her tenaciousness in the face of a hard but cherished dream is definitely something to learn from!
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Thanks! I definitely have a good role model in her!
Thank you all for your good wishes on my new venture (job). I agree 110% with Khushboo’s mom that treat others the way you wanted to be treated, the energy you put out is exactly the kind of energy will come right back at you (soon or later)!
And Nisha, that’s so funny about Indian moms mentality, even that thought have come and go in my mind every so often and I don’t let it stay long enough to entertain it and try to think of long term effect how it would be for me of staying home, (that is not ME at all).
So bottom line is that in process of achieving or changing something (anything) you may go through extreme levels of ups and downs in terms of thoughts and emotions but at the end of the day remember that YES it will happen as long as I am trying!! It may even seems like simplest thing doesn’t come by easily for you where it just happens for others without even trying, that’s when changing the focus on you and not waste any energy on others will be most beneficial!!
P.S. Love reading all different blog posts. At times I feel like 5yr old and have so much to learn still in all aspect of life to better MY SELF!!
So proud of you momma! You worked SO hard to achieve your goals! Here’s to never ever giving up…ever!
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