communication, Personality, and Shame on Me

I find it really interesting how our personalities shine through in the various ways we communicate.  Like really interesting.

For example, I’ve emailed back and forth with certain people for a number of months, made some assumptions about their personalities based on their communication style, met them in real life, and realized that my assumptions were 100% correct.

But let’s be honest.  That shouldn’t come as a big surprise at all.  For most people, their communication style is one way to showcase their personality. Intentionally or unintentionally.

Take this blog for instance.  Most of my readers have never met me, but I guarantee that if they did, they would find that I am 100% the way they imagined me to be.  Just by reading what I write on a weekly basis.

Now I know there are exceptions to this rule.  However, I’m going to make a bold statement regardless.  If you assessed ten people you know fairly well, you would see a very strong connection between their communication styles and their personalities.  There’s just no way around it.

Then why didn’t I make that connection when I received the following text from my husband.

VISHNU: Babe…I have something really important to talk to you about today.

I wait a few minutes to see if he says anything else.  When he doesn’t, I get a little worried and very curious.  No smiley face, no exclamation point…nothing.  So I text him back.

ME: What?  You can’t leave it at that…

Another few minutes go by.  I should mention that I’m out for a run when I get this text.  I stop running and stand on the middle of a bridge waiting for another text to tell me what the heck is going on.  Finally a response…

VISHNU: I’ll call you later. At lunch.  But I absolutely love this program.

SERIOUSLY?!  As happy as I was to hear that his interview went well, I couldn’t help but think, “Why didn’t he use a freaking smiley face or exclamation point in his initial text?  How hard would that have been?”  Here I am staring intently at my phone waiting for another text and/or a phone call because I think something’s wrong.

But I should have made the connection.  Vishnu’s texts reflect his personality – direct, matter of fact and not super excitable.  Of course nothing was wrong.  Looking back, that first text was oozing with [Vishnu] excitement.  After almost 10 years of knowing this guy, I didn’t put two and two together.

Shame on me.