The 5 Love Languages

I randomly came across The 5 Love Languages website last weekend and decided to take the online quiz.  To be honest, I didn’t know much about the book or the languages before last week but thought it would be interesting to learn more (I’m a sucker for any and all quizzes!).  I even got Vishnu to take it (shocking!).

The 5 languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  And based on what I learned from the site, they go a little bit deeper than what one would initially think.  The quiz itself is a set of 30 questions made up of two statements each.  You just go through and click the one that applies to you more than the other.  Simple!

So I was 110% sure acts of service would be my highest scoring language.  But the results showed otherwise because physical touch was my highest.  And I was pretty sure physical touch would be the highest for Vishnu, but no, quality time was his #1 language.  Goes to show how well I know us and our relationship!  Haha.

Here’s a more detailed breakdown of our scores:

Parita
9 physical touch
8 acts of service (I was close!)
7 words of affirmation
6 quality time
0 receiving gifts

Vishnu
9 quality time
8 physical touch
7 acts of service
6 receiving gifts
0 words of affirmation

Quite a bit of difference in our scores, but that didn’t surprise me at all.

Essentially, your highest score is how you understand your spouse’s expressions of love.  And the lower scoring languages are the ones you seldom use to communicate love, and they don’t really affect you on an emotional level.

I really thought my two highest would be acts of service and quality time, even though I do love physical touch (which goes beyond the bedroom and is about all kinds of touch – hugs, holding hands, etc.).  Personally, it means a lot to me when Vishnu folds laundry, takes out the trash, etc. all without being asked.  I am definitely an “actions speak louder than words” person.  And obviously, I absolutely love spending time with Vishnu – eating out, trying a new activity, watching our favorite TV show/new movie, cooking, etc.

When I told Vishnu about my results, he gave me a big hug.  🙂  Such a goofball!

And as far as my observations of Vishnu’s scores are concerned, they do make sense overall.  He is big on spending uninterrupted time together.  Also, since being married, I’ve noticed that one of the first questions he asks me when we see each other in the evening is how my day was and what I did.  And he really takes the time to listen.  With the physical touch, I know for a fact that he loves it when I shower him with attention!

With most quizzes, I take them and then forget about about them five minutes later.  This one was a bit different.  It opened my eyes to the fact that Vishnu equates love with quality time, and that it was his highest scoring language.  Something I am vowing to get better at is being more present when I’m around him and not letting myself get distracted by things that need to get done around the apartment, work, or my phone.  Also, I need to be better about giving Vishnu gifts.  As my results show, gifts mean almost nothing to me.  Don’t get me wrong – a thoughtful present is awesome to get, but it’s not my preferred way to give or receive love.  But just because it’s not important to me doesn’t mean he’s the same way.  Ahhh the insights!

When I asked him what he learned from my scores, he said, “They make sense.  Nothing I don’t already know.”  Well then, looks like I have some work to do!

Have you read “The 5 Love Languages” or taken the quiz?  Any thoughts?