I found myself getting really annoyed after work today.  Why?  Because I read an article on People.com about Kaela Humphries (Chris Humphries sister) and her new modeling gig.  The article actually made me happy.  From what I read, it seems like she’s going after a passion or interest of hers and making it a reality.  What upset me and got me thinking were some of the comments at the bottom of the article. 


When I look at this picture, all I see is a beautiful face.

Now, I understand that people hide behind the internet and say things they’d probably never say to someone directly, and as a blogger, I understand this all too well.  However, when is enough enough?  I’m all for constructive feedback and even healthy disagreement, but to say horrible things about someone’s physical appearance is just low. 

I’ve discussed my own struggle with self-acceptance and confidence several times in the past.  And to be honest, from what I’ve experienced, these issues are very personal matters.  It’s always been about my journey.  I didn’t like the way I looked.  I thought I needed to lose weight.  I wasn’t happy with the number on the scale.  These thoughts were my own. 

But since when is it ok to negatively comment on someone else’s journey – to success, to self-love, to happiness, etc.?  Who are we to insert ourselves into the heart and minds of others and project our ugly thoughts on them?  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect or an exception to the rule.  In the past, if I didn’t like someone, I would take jabs at her (his) physical appearance behind her (his) back.  But I’ve learned that those words and thoughts do absolutely more harm than good.

When someone really wants something, their dress size, their reflection in the mirror, and the number on the scale most likely won’t won’t stop or break them, but you know what will – harsh, negative words from others.  And if you stop and think about it for just a second, who would you rather be – the individual who stopped someone dead in their tracks or the individual who helped someone soar to new heights?

Whenever possible, be kind, be supportive, be a friend.  And if you can’t do that, just don’t be mean. 

By Parita

17 thoughts on “Ugly Words and Thoughts”
  1. This is how I see things. People who comment on boards like that, where they are anonymous, and have the tendency to be hatefully critical – well, they are usually commenting on something within themselves that they feel is lacking. You can look at a picture of any beautiful woman and if you are filled with hatred or self-loathing, you can find a way to look at it if you squint your eyes just so, where you see a double chin, you see a jaw that may be too strong. You see beautiful eyes that don’t look beautiful to you but look ugly, because they remind you of someone else you don’t like.

    The people who have the strongest comments are usually the ones who have the hardest time looking at themselves in the mirror. Not just physically, but looking at themselves introspectively.

    Wave it away, Parita. That woman is stunning and none of those comments can take away what I hope is an amazing journey for her.

    1. You’re so right. Most negative and critical comments are just a reflection of that person, but sometimes these things get to me because, well, people are just so mean. And it seems to be getting worse every day!

  2. I agree with you and the girls that responded above. She is beautiful, and who cares? The only thing that irks me is that she is milking the Kardashian wedding fame. But then again, why not? Isn’t that what the Kardashian’s are all about? She’s gorgeous she should go for it. I can’t imagine being a celebrity, it can’t be easy to deal with the comments section of websites, even their own blogs! ugh.

    1. Haha, yeah she probably is getting extra attention because of the Kardashians. But hey, at least she’s going after what she wants!

    1. People can be nasty! I hate it, but at the same time, I love success stories of people who pushed past the negativity to achieve their dreams. 🙂

  3. Great post, P! Critiscm is fine so long as it is constructive! Mean comments do nothing but unnecessarily hurt others! I’ve seen a few rude comments on other blogs and I can’t understand the point if leaving it. If you don’t like a blogger, don’t read the blog…no need to hurt their ego!

    1. Exactly! If you don’t like the way someone looks, don’t read articles about them. No one is forcing people to do anything, so keep the mean comments to yourself!

  4. Great post. The first time I saw Kayla Humphries, I was SO struck by how gorgeous she is! She actually looks so much like a friend of mine. I am happy for her the she got this modeling contract.

  5. She’s gorgeous! It sucks how people can spend so much time trying to tear someone else down. You don’t know what kind of person she is, you don’t know what she cares about, what she’s going after, what she wants to do. It’s so crazy how people can just be straight up MEAN! *sigh*

    But I think she’s beautiful! 🙂

    1. Although people are downright cruel, I still like to believe that for every mean person out there, there are at least 5 nice people. 🙂

  6. I haven’t clicked over the article yet so I can only imagine what people are writing. I find that the comments CNN articles get can be SO harsh – I’ve had to stop reading them!

    In any case, this girl is gorgeous. Not sure what negative things people have to say?

    1. People are so mean, Ameena! Don’t read the comments and just take my word for it because otherwise you’ll just be pissed. It’s not worth it. She’s beautiful and that’s all there is to it!

  7. man, this girl is gorgeous. i don’t see why people associate being slightly bigger than the super skinny model to be a bad thing. we come in all shapes and sizes, but i personally love meat on a woman, being curvy and being a bit thick and being strong is what being a woman is all about. the critics are so harsh, she’s stunning!

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