20 Random Thoughts

I have 99 emails starred in my Gmail account.  From my recent review, it looks like I started out by starring special emails from friends and family, and then I started starring a lot of random stuff.  I think someone’s email needs a good Spring Fall cleaning.

Anyway, as I was looking through all of these “special” emails, I came across a super funny one from a former coworker.  It’s basically a list of random thoughts from 25-35 year olds.  It still cracks me up!  I hope you find some of these as funny as I do.

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
<—This is when you distract the other person.

3.  Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

4. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft. <—This was my go to strategy!

6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? <—If you figure this out, please let me know!

8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. <—Totally!

9. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say.”

10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. <—More often then I’d like to admit!

11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. <—So true…I would always second guess myself if this happened.

12. Whenever someone says "I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart", all I hear is "I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”

13. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

14. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers (or sisters)! <—YES!  I always cheer!

15. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

16. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

17. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

18. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem… <—My heart always starts to beat faster…so weird.

19. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
<—Yep, and the second and third times too.

Did this make you laugh?!  I hope so!!!