*Note: This post has nothing to with pumpkins – sorry to disappoint!
Emily Griffin books are all the rage these days. And I’ll admit, I’ve read three of them, with the latest being Love the One You’re With. I’ve also read Something Borrowed and Heart of the Matter.
Now, I think she’s a great storyteller. The plot and character development in each of her books sucks you in and keeps you there until the very last page. It’s like you have to know what happens to each of the characters regardless of what you really think of the book itself.
Each of the books I’ve read have also been quick reads. I probably finished each one in three day or less. She doesn’t overdo it with tons of background information or unnecessary detail. You pretty much get what’s going on right away.
The last two paragraphs are why I keep going back.
With all of that being said, I do have an issue with the theme that is weaved into every single one of her books, and that is the idea of cheating.
I don’t know why, but I’m very sensitive when it comes to this topic. I’ve never been in a relationship where cheating was even an issue, but I do have close friends who have been through it. I’m also a huge believer in trust, honesty, and love.
I guess the reason why Griffin’s books irritate me is because it almost seems like for her characters, it’s ok to cheat. And instead of being open and honest with their families and significant others, they decide to explore all of these new feelings and thoughts they now have for someone else.
Now, I know it’s not as simple as I’m making it all sound, but if you don’t want to be in your current relationship anymore, grow some and tell the other person what you’re feeling. Give him or her a chance to respond. And if you’ve already done something that your conscience is telling you is wrong, fess up. Nothing good ever comes from lying. You’re only going to end up hurting a lot of people you care about.
Vishnu and I talk about this topic every now and then. We both agree that if you’re in a lifeless relationship, the easiest option is probably to cheat (emotionally and/or physically). However, relationship aren’t easy – they take a lot of hard work, dedication, compromise, friendship, love, etc. And even after all of that, you may grow apart. And that’s ok. Talk about it.
Again, I know I’m generalizing a lot here. And I also know that because I’ve never been directly affected by cheating, my opinion is very one sided. I’m really basing this entire post off of the situations Griffin portrays in her books and what I’ve seen some of my friends go through. I’m not a psychologist or expert in human behavior – these are all just my personal thoughts. There may be other views I’m not considering, and trust me, I’ve tried considering them. I just don’t understand. Griffin even tried to help out by providing her readers insight into what each of the main characters are thinking and feeling. I still don’t get it.
I know Griffin’s books are meant to be light beach type reads, but they always get me thinking about how so many people probably live out the situations that she describes. Maybe that’s why I get irritated – these things happen to people in real life, and that makes me mad!
Ok, I’ll stop ranting now! I just thought I’d change it up on here today and talk about a topic that irritates and angers me.
Please feel free to share your thoughts. Since this is a very one sided post, feel free to show me the other side.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote here, especially regarding cheaters. For me, if one starts to like someone else other than the current, right away tell the current the situation . It would really hurt, but not as much as when the partner cheated, because then, betrayal would come in, and that would even make it worse, and much harder to accept and get over with.
Cheers from California
Excellent topic to raise, Parita! I 100% agree with your view, but then again I have never been affected by cheating so my opinion is also one-sided. I am firm believer in ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’. Yes people change but let’s be honest, if you do it once there’s nothing stopping you from doing it again. Mistakes happen, I understand, but I think saying ‘you didn’t mean it’ is an easy way out. Like you said, cheating tends to happen in lifeless relationships…in that case, maybe it’s a sign to move on and end things rather than use the relationship as an emotional crutch. Sorry this comment is all over the place, the topic of cheating really irks me and brings out an angry side in me!
I agree! When I saw “Something Borrowed” I was really surprised at how she made it seem okay to cheat. And I was even more surprised that I found myself rooting for the cheaters! Whereas in real life, I don’t think cheating is acceptable AT ALL.
Great post, these were my exact thoughts when I read heart of the matter. Now my views are one sided too, but cheating is just not justified. All her characters fall so easily into the cheating trap, makes me wonder are people just devoid of morality. And what really was vexing, the weakness of the female characters.
Good light reads but message wise its plain annoying.