A few weeks ago, I wrote a funny (to me at least) “Dear Diary” post. I went back through my old journals yesterday and found a couple of entries that really struck a chord with me. Lately, I’ve been in reflection mode. I don’t know if it’s because of the engagement, the trainings I’ve recently attended or what, but I’ve been reflecting on a lot of different things…life, love, friendship, family, work, etc. If you know me, you know that this is nothing new. My friends would probably say that I’m always in reflection mode! I don’t know if I agree with that completely, but deep thoughts/reflection are not new to me, as proven by a couple of old journal entries.
*Note: Anything in italics are my current thoughts.
March 3, 2003
Context: This is towards the end of my freshman year.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about what I want to get out of life (still think about this one sometimes). I know for sure that I want to enjoy myself while I’m on Earth (hehe). I know that I want to make a difference in people’s lives. I also know that I want to be a role model for my sister. I want her to know that she can rely on me for anything. I also want to be a daughter my parents can be proud of. I want to make something out of myself. I want to have a family. I want to find that one person that makes me complete and happy (always the romantic). This is what I want out of my life. (Not much has changed except that I found the person that completes me…CHECK!)
January 22, 2008
Context: During this time, I had my first big girl job and apartment in the city and was about to turn 24. I think I found out about getting into business school around this time as well.
It’s almost my birthday! I can’t believe I’m about to be 24. I want to do so many things this year. I want to build new relationships and strengthen the ones I have. As I look back, I realize how lucky I am. I have the best family in the world. And I have Vishnu in my life. He’s the best. Not many people can say that they have four people in their lives that love them unconditionally, but I can. I thank God for all them every day (still do).
I saw (read) a quote the other day that started with “we were all born dying.” I don’t know why, but it stuck with me. I think it reminds me about how we have to learn to live more with each passing day. We are never going to see today again. Life is so short when you really think about it. Time really does fly (oh does it ever!).
I made Vishnu promise me that we will never leave each other angry, whether in person or on the phone (I think we need to work on this one a bit more). I really think it’s an important policy to implement. No one really ever knows what day is going to be their last (ok, Ms. Morbid…lol). That thought really scares me sometimes, but lately it’s made me way more appreciative of the people in my life. As annoyed as I can get sometimes, I really do love and care for everyone.
As cliché and cheesy as it sounds, some things never change…so so true. I still have thoughts just like these on a daily basis. Hey, at least I’m consistent!
Are you a reflective person? Do you tend to get caught up in your own deep thoughts?