Yes (Wo)man

By Parita Apr 18, 2011

Hi everyone!  I hope your day was good and less stressful than mine.  My boss is out-of-town for the week, so a lot of questions are being fielded to me as I am the secondary contact for his client group.  Being new to the role, I don’t knows the ins and outs of everything, so every little question requires a ton of investigation and research.  This would be fine if the questions didn’t all arrive in my inbox at one time.  You see where I’m going with this!  

Anyways, the highlight of my Monday was waiting for me at my door when I got home.  I won Gabriella’s giveaway last week, which include her Vegan Super Charge Me cookies, a Lindt Dark Chocolate bar, a variety of Larabars, and a jar of PB&Co’s White Chocolate Peanut Butter.  🙂  So many fun things in one box!  She was super speedy with mailing it off, so it was delivered today!  YAY!  Her cookies are absolutely amazing!  I ate 1.5 pretty much immediately.  They’re big, chunky, dense, chewy and delicious!  Jealous much!?  But seriously, thank you Gabriela for the wonderful giveaway goodies…it was honestly the best part of my day!!

Yummy goodies = happy me!

 *********

So, how many of you are a YES woman (or man)?!  Do you find it hard to say no when someone asks you to do something?  It could be a friend, family member, significant other, boss, coworker, etc.  Do you find that your already full plate is about to tip over because of everything that’s being added to it?  If you’re like me, you love to be busy, you love to help people, and you have a really hard time saying no.  It’s almost like saying no is not even an option!

I’m trying to get better about this in my personal life because overcommiting myself is a lose-lose situation for everyone.  I’d rather take an active part in things where I know I’ll be able to give 100% of my time and attention versus only 50% or less.  It’s only fair to the people I love and care about!

Work, however, is a different story.  If I don’t have a million things on my plate, it feels like something is wrong!  I am already a co-lead on a huge business wide project and the lead on a lot of local initiatives.  This is all on top of my day-to-day responsibilities.  Even with so much on my plate, the minute a new project comes my way, I eagerly ask if I can join the team.  Well, I knew that one day being the yes woman at work would bite me in the butt. 

I was asked to sit in on a call this afternoon to help assess a new initiative we are launching across the company.  At the end of the call, everyone was asked what part they were most interested in.  “Uh oh.  I can’t possibly take on a piece of this without sacrificing the quality of my other projects,” I thought in my head.  I spoke up immediately and voiced my concerns.  Mind you, this is probably the first time ever at work where I was the no person.  I carefully explained that as much as I would love to help, I just couldn’t, given my current workload.  My response was well-received, but I felt so guilty that I called the project lead immediately after the call ended.  I started off by saying sorry and telling her that I am truly passionate about the work, but I just couldn’t commit my time.  She told me I did the right thing and  applauded me for being brave enough to say no.  She understood exactly where I was coming from, and by the end of the conversation, I felt kind of bad for her, so I ended up taking a small role in the project anyways…I know, I know…I just couldn’t help it!!! 

I guess the point to my little example is that sometimes I feel that women especially are wired to take on more than humanly possible in every aspect of life.  Not only do we take on a lot, but we also feel guilty when we don’t take on everything that comes our way.  Why is that?  Maybe we secretly enjoy being the yes woman that everyone goes to to get things done.  I know I sometimes do.  I’ll learn one day, but until then, its super Parita to the rescue!!!

Are you a yes woman or man?  Do you take on a lot, feel overwhelmed, and then feel guilty for saying no?   Please tell me I’m not the only one!!!

 

By Parita

0 thoughts on “Yes (Wo)man”
  1. What a great post!

    I have definitely been a yes-woman when I’ve worked for other people and it always mean that I was working 60 + hour weeks and sacrificing my life outside of work. Not healthy.

    I am better when it comes to my social life. I think I just always wanted to show how dedicated I was to the job and continue moving up the ladder.

    I think you did the right thing, Kudos to you for speaking your mind. It’s definitely a process to getting to the point where you just say “no.”

    Thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Jenny! It isn’t totally healthy, but I love what I do, so it’s so hard to say no sometimes! I’m getting there…this was a small step in the right (much-needed) direction!

  2. I’m definitely a “yes” woman. Sometimes it can be a good thing, but other times not so much. Luckily, I also like having a lot to do at all times and that’s how I work best, but I definitely need to learn to say no more.

  3. Congrats on the awesome giveaway! 😀 And I use to be a “Yes” woman but it becomes way too strenuous so I assess the situation and do as I see fit. Sometimes you can’t do it all and I don’t do well under the pressure lol

  4. I’m exactly teh same! People are always asking me to cover their shifts at work and I tend to say yes… I’m learning that I’m so overbooked this quarter that I really cannot possibly do all of that, though, so I’m getting somewhat better! Though I still go farther out of my way to help them get hte shift covered than is strictly necessary lol.

    Definitely important to recognize your limitations and put yourself first sometimes. 🙂

  5. THat goodie bag from Gabriela looks great!

    I’m more of a yes woman when it comes to friends/family! I always say yes to favors/going for things that may not even interest me just because I don’t want to be rude/hurt their feelings. It’s hard to say no without feeling selfish but I agree that where work is concerned, it was super brave to turn down a project. I’m a firm believer of quality over quantity…

  6. I am totally a yes girl – and the worst part is that most of the time I seek out my the new obligations! There is so much that I want to do and I feel like this is the time in my life when I need to do it – since I’ll hopefully have “other” obligations later!

    Earlier this year I had to prioritize and take some things off of my plate. It almost killed me, but it made my committment to the things I deemed as most important so much better! Great job on saying no! It’s so hard sometimes!

  7. Congrats on the giveaway win.

    I am a ‘yes” woman. I’m happy saying “yes” but I am learning/trying to say ‘no’ when something more important needs to be done first, Have to still work on it though.

  8. Awesome blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on
    everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option?
    There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any suggestions? Thanks!

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