My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Sonal Singh’s Inspiring Journey – From Chemicals to Biscuits

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I’m so excited to share today’s post. As you know, I love inspirational stories, especially from mamas who work hard to make their dreams come true (whatever that looks like). Today’s mama, Sonal, did just that, and I find her journey so awesome. But more than that, I love that she never gave up and went with the twists and turns life threw her way.

I’m lucky to call Sonal a friend, and when I asked if she was interested in sharing her story on MIS, she quickly agreed.

So grab your favorite snack and be prepared to be inspired. Oh and follow Sonal on IG at @deargirlslovemom. Her feed is filled with beautiful food, stories about motherhood, and her general thoughts and ideas. I love the mix and the authenticity with which Sonal shares.

Ok, enough from me. Over to Sonal…

A few weeks ago, after I launched my biscuit buisness, Parita reached out to me to share that she felt inspired by what I am doing. Truth be told, I don’t think she really understands how following her blog has been regular doses of motivation for me. I guess that goes to show that when you really are true to yourself and who you are, others find pockets of your story to inspire with them.

I digress by saying, I did not, and even in this moment, DO NOT have my shit together. Even with an equal partner in parenting, a mother-in-law to help, and a father-in-law that jumps in when he sees I’m about to lose my mind when raising my girls, I still don’t get a shower in every day, there are many peanut butter or avocado toast lunches, the TV still is on duty to help baby sit, and I still have a post baby body to love more than I would like to admit most days. Some of this may change as the girls get older, but I have my arms open to all the other unforeseen challenges to come. It’s my life, and my lane. I can’t and won’t change my past for someone else’s no matter what has happened because there are too many lessons I’ve learned to get me to where I am and where I want to go. That is gold right there.

While try I to write my story so that my daughters grow up knowing they have a strong, motivated, daring, hard-working mother, they and the rest of the world should also know I am full of mistakes that I learn from, failures so that I can grow, and scars to remind me that I am human. 

There aren’t many things that have not gone exactly as planned in my life. Most of my 5 year plans get thrown off but I think taking chances and living in the moment has helped me accept curve balls. The first big one being meeting my husband. I was on the “screw boys” parade when I met him and never looked back after our first date. We went ring shopping six months into dating on my first trip to Vancouver (where I also fell in love with Granville Island and the small culinary school there) and were engaged by eight months. Since that trip to Vancouver, Darren, my now husband, always asked me why I don’t just go to culinary school. He knew my love for cooking and was always my biggest cheerleader when I would tell him about my dreams of having a successful cooking blog. It was comforting to know he had my back but I never acted on it because I was blissfully content.

Finally in fall 2014, after having our dog for less than a year, I decided it was time to give up my career as a chemist. I loved my job and how dynamic it was, but as we started to think about wanting a family one day I knew the things worried I was already bringing home around our dog would give me more anxiety once we had kids. Some of the chemicals I have worked with in the past were toxic enough to make a man go sterile to give perspective of the types of hazardous materials I would use. Darren was also at a point in his career where he could either choose to venture into having his own private practice in Canada or keep working in the States. So after a years of Darren’s encouragement to go to culinary school, I applied to The Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts in Granville Island, and was accepted to start in January 2015. We packed up our house in Tallahassee, Florida and drove to Vancouver, Canada with a car full of our things and our dog in December 2014. A curve ball in my 5 year plan that I never thought would happen even after I knew I was marrying a Canadian.

Highly recommend a cross-country road trip! One of the best trips I’ve done and can’t wait to do it again with my girls. 

Once in Canada, it really hit me hard. I had lived away from home since I was 18 but being 3 time zones away from my friends and family and in another country really took a toll on me. I LOVED being in school and all the fun exciting opportunities I was getting. My imagination was going wild with the creative dishes I could make with every ingredient imaginable. But when I would leave at the end of the night, I felt isolated and alone. Darren was working opposite schedules than my school schedule, and I spent more time talking to our dog than I would any of my family or friends because of the time zone difference. Pastry school was a bit easier since I was in morning classes but days felt long because right after school, I would go to my our clinic to help Darren with administrative work. I heavily depended on him for a social network and continued to struggle to find my own community here. There were many days where I questioned what I had done. The worst part is the questioning would continue for years to come.

I graduated in December 2016 and skipped my graduation to help at the clinic. It’s where I knew I was needed for the future of my family. Sometimes people ask if I regret never going into the industry after getting my culinary and pastry degree and the answer is still “no!” I know what the industry requires. The biggest thing chefs sacrifice is time for themselves and family. I was well aware of this before I even went to school so the fact is not a surprise to me. My diploma is valuable to me because it is proof that I took a chance on myself. It fulfilled a part of me that I suppressed to fit into this idea of what I was expected to be. Ultimately this chapter of my life will serve as an example for me to talk to my girls about following their dreams and happiness.

Fast forward to September 2016 when I find out I am pregnant. It happened a lot faster than we anticipated and it was only a matter of days after when I really started feeling the intensity of the hyperemesis gravidarum- basically non stop severe nausea and vomiting that landed me in the hospital almost weekly for my entire pregnancy.  My pregnancy journey for both of my girls left me with A LOT of post partum anxiety. Something I didn’t even know was a thing until my second was about 9 months old. I got pregnant with my second while my first was only 10 months old so I was NOT ready to do this again. So much of the trauma from my first pregnancy manifested itself the second time around especially since I had hyperemesis gravidarum again, but this time while raising a strong willed toddler.

My life between September 2016 to January 2020 was filled with lots of emotional and mental ups and down. I felt like since birth I was groomed to go to school and have a career and that motherhood would just naturally come to me. That there were some magical hormones that would tell my brain and body what to do so that I would be a happy mom. Obviously not the case as any mother will tell you. We are all struggling and thriving! We are all sacrificing and growing! This is why I felt compelled to share at the beginning that I am just another mother taking it day by day. I knew the day my first daughter was born that getting myself to feel like I have a grip on this was going to take time. I had been to hell and back with my pregnancy and I was NOT going to let myself or anyone make me move on from how terrible it was until I was ready. Letting go of a timeline to get back mentally allowed me to pay attention to my day and how to be better or simply just survive the next day. There were days I felt like I was wasting valuable time because all I could do give my girls all my energy leaving nothing for myself. I felt like there was no end to these difficult baby/toddler days and that my life would never have purpose beyond being a mom. But simple reminders of where I was and how far I’ve come would allow me to refocus on how this is MY story and the two people that will likely want to know it needs to see how I grew.  

Which is why, after many unsuccessful cooking blogs, I have now found the perfect one. My blog, Dear Girls, Love Mom is filled with love letters to my girls. It is the passion project I want to leave them with so they look back and read about their childhood through my eyes and my motherhood journey with them. An extension of it is a small, one man business I started this year in the middle of Covid-19 called Yo Momma’s Biscuits- a place to get southern style biscuits in Vancouver.  Even though I never worked in the industry, there are binders and binders of valuable knowledge I have on food businesses and recipes that I want to share with my girls and anyone that follows my blog. I have many dreams about where Yo Momma’s Biscuits will take me, but, like I learned from my recent years of becoming a mom, I’m taking it one step at a time. Biting off more than I can chew is a recipe for disaster so I am okay with keeping it simple and orders at a minimum. 

I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in the last 5 years is give yourself the grace you give others, and also ask from others. It wouldn’t be a lesson if it was easy to do. As you can see I am not some well-to-do, big shot, boss babe (although I call myself that in the mirror to boost myself esteem). I am a Mom just trying to be the best example I can be to my girls by living the lessons I want to teach them. If someone can find inspiration in that, then I hope to connect with them so that we can champion motherhood together. 

State of Our Household – THREE YEARS OLD!

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We officially have a three year old on our hands! WHAT?!

I know this is the most cliche thing to say on your child’s birthday, but I remember every last detail of the days leading up to my delivery with so much clarity. If you want to know more about how Kaiden was brought into the world, read his birth story.

Anyways, let’s get to the details of this post and see how each member of our household is doing!

State of Kaiden

Oh how Mr. K has grown! I feel like just over the past three months, he’s grown in leaps and bounds. Some days, I feel like he’s three going on thirteen. But this age is still so much fun! You don’t know what he’s going to do or say…that element of surprise is a real thing, y’all!

In terms of his personality, he’s one of the funniest people I know! He’s so witty and knows how to get laughs. And if you don’t laugh, he’ll look at you and say, “LAUGH!” Well, ok then! He’s also really sweet. He doesn’t like to see people upset or hurt. I hope his sense of empathy only gets stronger as he gets older. In some ways, Kaiden is like me, he’s super emotional and can get upset quickly, but he gets over the situation quickly. He doesn’t hold grudges. What else? He’s also very stubborn (like most three year olds?!). Kaiden is always down for a good time. It takes him a bit to warm up to people, but once he does, there’s no stopping him!

In terms of sleep, we’re doing well. He goes down between 7:30-7:45p every night (although the antics have definitely started where he tries to keep me in the room as long as he can!), but he’ll fall asleep anywhere from the minute his head hits his pillow to 9 pm. Before he started school again, he was waking up between 7:15-7:30a most days, and now he’s up between 6-7a. Not an easy transition for his parents either! Naps are hit or miss, mostly still hits (those days are rough!). I think pushing his nap time back to 1:30p (vs. 1:00p) may help. We’ll see!

He’s still a pretty good eater. K loves most things, but it does take a bit to get him to the table. Once he’s there, he’s good. Like most kids, we still have our days where he doesn’t want to eat something and will say he’s full after a few bites. It takes everything in me to just be ok with that, but I’m trying! I want him to listen to his hunger cues, so I’m going to chalk it up to him truly not needing any food. Who knows!

Kaiden is now talking a ton! It’s incredible to see and probably one of my favorite developments over the past year. His vocab is pretty great, but what gets me is how much he can say in the correct context. It’s insane!

Like most toddlers, K doesn’t like hearing no or being told what to do. So we have to get creative! Ha! But I will say, if we can just stay calm and meet him on his level, he’s pretty good. It’s not like he won’t budge.

I know this is a very biased this to say, but I think I have the cutest, sweetest, happiest baby boy in the whole world! He really is the best, and I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!

State of Mama

Mama is doing well! I really do love this age, so even though things get rough from time to time, I find that it’s easier to handle.

Quarantine was interesting. If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that work + K wasn’t easy. Something I haven’t talked much about yet is self-care and energy management. I did/do work out every day, but I still haven’t been able to drop the pounds I gained last October. I was on a good path up until mid-March, and then it all went downhill. So I’m trying to focus on regular movement and healthier eating. Easier said than done, but I’m trying!

Other than that, I need to get on a better night time routine. I haven’t been going to sleep at a consistent time, and it shows! Every Monday, I tell myself this is my week! But nope. Two days in and I’m all over the place again. Let’s say this one is a work in progress.

Other than that, everything is the same old!

State of Dada

Vishnu graduated residency earlier this month, which was a momentous occasion for us! Woo hoo!

He’s now gearing up for fellowship and all that brings. It’s going to be a busy year!

Other than that, I’m happy to report that Kaiden and Vishnu’s relationship is the strongest it’s ever been. K is still very much a mama’s boy, but he loves his dada…always asking for him and wanting to wrestle with him! It’s fun to watch, and also a big relief because I’m not the only one he will go to! Woo hoo!

I’ll share another update at 3.5. I love rereading these posts and thinking back on little K!

My Advice for Mamas Going On or Returning From Maternity Leave

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I was asked to be part of an International Women’s Day panel this week. There were a total of six women on the panel representing different aspects working womanhood. It was an incredible experience, and I got great feedback from various people, both men and women, about the format and diversity of voices that were shared.

I shared my Q&A on my stories but was asked to post it on the blog because it was too hard to read (sorry!). So here it is – my advice for mamas going on or returning from maternity leave…

Question: Parita, you’ve been on maternity leave while working at XXX. What advice would you give someone else who is about to go on or return from maternity leave? 

Answer: So my answer is three-fold.  But before I talk about that, I just want to say it’s important to acknowledge that the person who leaves the office on day 1 of maternity leave is not the same person who returns on day X.  What you need and want from your job and organization will change because you’ve just started the ultimate job of being someone’s mom.  This isn’t something I thought too much about before my leave, but I think it’s important to understand and acknowledge this.

With that being said, the first thing I would tell someone who is about to go on maternity leave or about to return back to work, is to think through what it is you now need.  Do your hours still work for you?  Do you need some flexibility to work from home?  Can you still travel?  Think through the role you left and figure out what elements still work for you and which ones need to change. 

From there, come up with a plan.  One that focuses on you as well as your team.  Think through how the things you need will impact everyone else and how you can mitigate that to whatever degree.  Think through any other challenges and barriers, any potential benefits, etc.

Once you have your plan mapped out, put it in writing and talk to you manager about putting it in action.  For example, I knew I needed/wanted Fridays off when I returned from leave so I put pen to paper and submitted a request to be on a 4/10 schedule.  I’m flexible to work on Fridays and my team knows that, and it works for us.

The thing is that no one knows what you need or want but you, and this really goes to everyone, not just working moms.  You have to ask for what you want because, trust me, no one cares or thinks about you as much as you do.  And at the end of the day, the worst thing anyone can say is no.  And if that’s the case, the ball’s back in your court to figure out your next steps.

*And yes, I am that person who types out her response word for word. But I do that because I don’t want to veer to far from the question and because I want to make sure I cover everything.

Day in the Life – February 19, 2020

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I love reading about other people’s days. The mundane details, the out of the ordinary stuff, all of it. I think there’s magic in sharing about our lives more openly, even the not so glamorous stuff. Like what you’re about to read. HA!

So I’m choosing to share a ‘day in the life’ type post now because unlike most days, I actually went to the office on February 19 and did more than just work and go to the gym.

Again not glamorous…just more interesting. Or so I think!

Let’s get started.

4:30 am – My alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but I’m up and just waiting for the beeping to start.

4:45 am – My alarm goes off and out I roll. Brush teeth, shower, put make up on, and do hair. It’s all a little robotic at this point in the morning, but I want to be ready before 5:45 which is sometimes when Kaiden wakes up. Once he’s up, there’s no way I can do anything for myself.

6:15 am – I have to go in and wake K up! I could’ve slept a bit longer!! It takes him a bit to wake up, so we cuddle on the couch and goof around.

6:30 am – I put a Daniel Tiger episode on, give K some cereal and make myself a shake.

7:00 am – Brush K’s teeth, put on my work clothes, change Kaiden…

7:15 am – We are out the door on our way to school and work! And like I tell K every morning, we’re going to have an AWESOME day!

7:25 am – Drop off complete and I’m walking to work. So here’s the thing. I used to complain about Chicago weather a lot. Like A LOT. It’s so damn cold and the wind is brutal. This year (knocking on all the wood!) hasn’t been so bad. With that being said, today was COLD. And I totally didn’t think to wear my warm winter boots. My ankles were exposed and freezing! The 10 day forecast looks a bit warmer than today, so there’s that! Look at me grow and not be a negative Nancy about things I clearly can’t control!

7:45 – Arrive at work, set up, get my water and start my day.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

9:30 am – Our team in Chicago does a bagels and coffee breakfast thing once a month, so I head out to the cafe area to meet them. I love this event because it gets us all together and talking and reconnected.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

12:00 pm – Eat lunch with a coworker/friend. We haven’t seen each other since December so there’s a lot to catch up on!

WORK WORK WORK WORK

2:30 pm – Grab a coffee with another coworker/friend and catch up. I haven’t really been in the office much since December, so it’s nice to just hear about what people are up to. To be honest, I get more done at home, but I do love going in to our office because of the people. Everyone’s so nice, and honestly, it’s just a nice break for the ‘work by yourself’ routine I’ve created for myself over the past couple of months.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

4:00 pm – Pack up and head out to get K and go home! But first, stop at Taco Bell to grab dinner. 🙂

There are no pictures after this point because it’s hard once K’s around. I just don’t think about it that much. So I hope my words paint a fairly clear picture for you!

4:30 pm – Get to K’s school (I take the train and then walk), convince him it’s time to go home, and head out.

4:50 pm – HOME!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

5:15 pm – Daddy’s up! This is Vishnu’s last few days of nights (hopefully forever!). Kaiden gets so excited to see him and it just melts my heart!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

6:15 pm – Sit down to eat our beloved Taco Bell! Surprisingly, Kaiden eats the burrito I got him with minimal fuss. Of course, he also eats a few carrot sticks and some apple!

6:30 pm – Vishnu leaves for work, and K and I head to the bathroom so he can take a bath.

6:45 pm – Get K dressed and lotioned up.

7:00 pm – Read books. Tonight’s picks include – If You Take a Mouse to School, Giraffes Can’t Dance, Krishna, and Lakshmi.

7:15 – Brush K’s teeth, finish up one last book, turn on sound machine (Kaiden’s job), debate about which ball to sleep with (he couldn’t decide if he wanted his new basketball or his old one – went for the new one!).

7:35 pm – Sing songs, pray, say affirmations…I leave his room and pray he goes to sleep and stays asleep!

8:05 pm – I check K’s monitor and he’s finally down!

8:30 pm – Do the dishes, pick up toys, fold and put away laundry, etc.

9:00 pm – Finish up this blog post

[If everything goes according to plan] 9:45 pm – Wash my face, brush my teeth, and get into bed. I read for a bit before my eyes feel heavy. Turn on meditation music and fall asleep.

10:15 – Hopefully I’m fast asleep…

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

5:15 am – Wake up and do it all again (with some variations!).

And that is a typical day…when I go in to the office. Like I said, nothing too exciting but joyful and fun nonetheless!

Have a great Thursday!

Diary of a Working Mom – Yours Truly

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So many of the moms I’ve interviewed for this series have told me to answer the questions myself. Well, it took me a while, but I’m doing it!

I thought this would be a good way for new readers/followers to get to know me, as the questions span everything from schedules to mottos to guilty pleasures.

Let’s get right to it!

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
My family consists of me, my hubby of 7.5 years Vishnu, and our beautiful and fun baby boy Kaiden. We’re originally from Atlanta but have been living in Chicago for the past 3.5 years.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I work for a global accounting organisation and am a Senior Manager on the People and Culture (P&C) team. Essentially, I collaborate and work with and for P&C leaders in our member firms (we have ~140 firms) on various projects, initiatives, tools, etc. related to (you guessed it!) people and culture issues.

I like this role because it’s more strategic in nature. We don’t do any hiring, firing and paperwork. It’s really about working on the things that will impact our network and make us future-fit.

And I’ve been with my current organisation for a little over 7.5 years.

3. Walk me through a day in your life.
The answer to this depends on if I’m going in to the office or not.

Par going to office – wake up at 4:45 and shower + get ready; start prepping breakfast shake and mine and Vishnu’s lunch; Kaiden up at 6; cuddle with K, feed him breakfast, wrap up everything else; get K dressed for school and brush his teeth; get myself dressed; get out the door by 7:15; drop K off at school and walk to work; get to the office by 7:45; work work work until 4:14 pm; walk to Kaiden’s daycare, pick him up and get home by 5 ish; prep dinner and keep K entertained until it’s time to eat; sit down to eat at 6; either Vishnu or I give K a bath at 6:30 while the other person cleans up in the kitchen; once K is dressed and ‘creamed’ up, we sit, read and play; at 7:15, Vishnu takes K to brush his teeth; I then put him down (sing 4 songs, say our prayers and affirmations, goodnight kisses, lights out!); from 7:30-9:00, Vishnu and I hang out on the couch – watch TV, talk, blog, do work, etc.; I get into bed by 9:15 and read for about 20-30 minutes; then it’s lights out for me!

Par works from home – the day looks very similar to the above except I wake up at 5:30; also my afternoon looks different when I’m home – I stop working at 4 and then I clean up around the house, start prepping dinner, etc.

Vishnu and I decide who will pick up and drop off Kaiden based on our schedules. Sometimes he does one or both and sometimes it’s me.

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I feel like I’m a lot more efficient. Time and self-management are key ‘mom skills’ and I’m glad I’m able to transfer those over to my role at work.

Another way motherhood has impacted me at work is that I don’t take things to heart anymore. I used to analyze anything and everything someone said or did. I would get upset if I wasn’t included on a project. Work took up a lot of my mind space. Now? I realize work is one (small) element. My goal is to do what I need (and do it well) to do to provide for my family and prioritize the rest of my time around our family. Life is too short to spend so much energy on work (just my personal opinion).

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
If you’re not already, become a list person. Like paper and pen list person. My lists keep me sane and on track – for work and personal stuff. I feel like if you have system for capturing the random thoughts that come and go during the day (and night!), you can more easily flow between work and life.

Also, don’t multitask. It’s a myth. Set a timer, focus on one task at a time, and slowly get stuff done.

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
To be honest, I felt a lot of mom guilt in the beginning…about anything and everything. And I think that was because Kaiden was so helpless and I thought I was the only one who could (and should) help him. As he’s gotten older, I see that he only benefits from having rich relationships with other people including his dad (duh!), his grandparents, his aunts/uncles, daycare providers, baby sitters, etc.

If you love the s*** out of your kid and make the most of the time that you do have with him/her, mom guilt should really start to fade away.

It does rear it’s ugly head from time to time, but I try my best to push it out because I know I’m doing the best I can and I know I love my child to bits and pieces and that’s all that matters!

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding?
Surprising – being ok with things being undone at times. I used to be someone who’d spend 4 hours every weekend cleaning a one bedroom apartment. I now don’t nitpick at that level. It’s ok if some things get left for tomorrow.
Rewarding – picking Kaiden up at daycare and seeing his face light up when he sees him (or when he gets home if Vishnu picks him up)!

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
I try to use the time when K’s sleeping (naps, down for the night) to my advantage. Sure, I could spend hours scrolling IG (which I occasionally do). But I really try to be intentional about how I spend the hours I do get to myself.

Me time for me looks like reading, blogging, chatting with a friend, watching a show with Vishnu.

And my guilty pleasure has to be chocolate. Chocolate in most any form is life!

9. What’s your mama mantra?
One day/hour/minute at a time.

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
Don’t jump back in…wade back in. Everyone knows your capable but take the time you need to get re-acclimated.

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Ask for what you want/need. The worst thing anyone can say is no! This goes for assignments, to pumping rooms, to everything in between. Be your own best advocate!


State of Our Household [2.5 Years]

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First of all, I can’t believe Kaiden is 2.5. I know it’s the most cliche thing to say, but time really does fly when you have a little human in your life. Zoom zoom!

Overall, 2.5 feels like such a turning point. I’ve seen such a change in K in small ways and big over the past six months. Putting aside the fact that I’m his mom, it’s been so amazing to witness. Like how did my little mush of a baby turn into such a big boy?!

With that, let’s dive right in…

State of Kaiden

Let’s kick this off on a positive note. Kaiden is an incredibly sweet and kind child. While he’s not super outgoing, he thrives when he’s around people. You can just see his eyes light up when he’s with loved ones! One of my favorite things about him is that he is empathetic. Ok fine, maybe not fully, but I can tell that he feels for others by his actions and words.

Kaiden is also still very much a mama’s boy! And I can’t lie…I love it. We’ll be sitting on the couch together, and he’ll randomly look at me and say, “HUG!” So I have to put down whatever I’m holding and hug him! My heart! My favorite thing to do with him is just cuddle and hold him super tight…and cover him with kisses! Not looking forward to the day when he doesn’t want to do that anymore…

Personality wise…the other thing about him that stands out for me is his sense of humor. He’s a funny guy! While he’s not exactly cracking jokes just yet, he definitely has some really good comedic timing. I don’t quite get how a 2.5 year old can say things at the perfect time, but this guy…he’s full of surprises! Hand in hand with this, he loves to laugh. And trust me when I say, his laugh is contagious!

In terms of food and sleep, we’re doing great with one and ok with the other. Can you guess which is which? He loves food and will try most things. It’s still hard to get him to focus on eating sometimes, but we’re working on it. He still loves Indian food, pasta, and almost all fruits and veggies. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have days/nights where a picky little monster comes out, but most days, he’s good.

In terms of sleep, we were doing really well and then potty training (more on this next week) came along and all of that went out the window. We can usually put him down at 7:30 and expect him to wake up between 5:30-6. Nowadays, I’m in his room about 3x between 7:30-8 just to get him to fall asleep. He’s also up multiple times throughout the night and then he still wakes up at 5:30 most days. Man, oh, man! I thought sleep would be the least of our worries as he got older…I was wrong! I’m hoping as the potty becomes his new norm, we can ease back into more sleep. Fingers crossed!

Developmentally, my favorite thing over the past six months has been his language and cognitive development. I don’t know how many words he knows, but it’s a lot! He speaks in full sentences, asks questions, and even infers things from what we say. CRAZINESS! In terms of cognitive development, he really as a great memory and can remember things we’ve told him or that he’s seen/heard days later. I just love watching that little brain work!

Physically, he’s a little on the smaller side, but our pediatrician said that he comes from a smaller family so we can’t expect him to be huge. HAHA. But don’t let my skinny man fool you. He’s got energy for DAYS! He is always on the move. And I don’t like being that mom who brags, but I really do think we have a little soccer star on our hands. Even Vishnu thinks so! He’s great at handling the ball, and has a really strong kick. I’m so glad we enrolled him in soccer classes, only because they help him burn off some of his energy and do something he loves and is good at!

With that being said, Kaiden’s favorite things are still balls. Any and all balls! You guys, he’s obsessed. He’s also into legos and just random items…mostly things that he can knock down with…you guessed it…balls! I actually love that he’s not a toys kid. He can literally turn anything into something. #likehisdaddy

With ALL of that being said, there are a few things we are working on. First, when Kaiden gets upset (usually when we are upset with him), he gets mad. When he gets mad, he tries to hit us. And he also uses the phrase, ‘Go away!’ When he does this, I have to take him in his room and talk to him very calmly about why we don’t do and say those kinds of things. Now, randomly, he’ll say, “Don’t say go away.” As in, I’m not supposed to say that, right? We’re working on it!

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we have embarked on our potty training journey. It’s…interesting. I have hope that we’ll get there in a couple of months, but like everyone who’s done this before says, you have to go at your kid’s pace.

And of course, there are those toddler meltdowns and tantrums that often come of left field. I’m at a point now where I tell him that when’s done feeling his feelings mommy will talk to him.

Other than THAT, we’re all good over here. HAHA! #alwayssomething

State of Mama

You guys, this is probably the best I’ve felt in the past 2.5 years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a beautiful and magical time, but it’s also been hard. But now, I feel like I’m in my groove with being a mom (not saying I have all the answers, just that I feel like I can navigate the ups and downs with more confidence), Vishnu and I are solid, work is going really well, I have something really exciting happening in the background (more to come when I can share…promise!), I’ve found some great friends in Chicago, etc.

My mom shared with me that she sees a difference in how relaxed I am now versus before. She said that things don’t seem to stress me out as much now. I think a lot of that has to do with the kind of kid Kaiden is. He really is a lot of fun 90% of the time.

So year, overall, things are good. It’s always a juggle trying to balance work, home, family, friends, travel, etc., and it still stresses me out when things start to pile up, but I’m slowly learning that everything works out as it should. Stressing about it only makes the situation worse.

State of Dada

You guys, since we found out that Vishnu matched for fellowship AND that he passed his boards, he has been the most relaxed I’ve seen him in the past eight years. It’s like my old Vishnu is back! I’ll take him for as long as this lasts, as stress is kind of a given in medicine.

Most importantly, this means that Vishnu and Kaiden have been able to spend more time together in the past six months, which I know means the world to Vishnu. We were even able to celebrate our first Christmas as a family this year!

Vishnu still has other work responsibilities that take up his time and a few other things happening in the background, but overall, I think he’s doing well. He’s taking better care of his health too, which makes me so happy!

Next up, fellowship (another busy year!) and job hunting!

Can you believe that in less than 1.5 years, we’ll be moving again…and hopefully to our forever city! I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, that’s all I have folks! If you got this far, thank you for reading and caring about my little family. 🙂

Until next time!

Thanksgiving Weekend 2019

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Better late than never right?!  I wrote this on my way to London, the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  I’m actually posting it a week after that. But I wrote it so I’m sharing it! Ha!

I’ve always loved this time of year – between November and December.  It just feels magical and cozy.  But now that we have K and he’s getting older; I think I’m going to love it more and more. 

Let’s talk about Thanksgiving weekend 2019, because while it had its ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a single thing (well, maybe one, but I’ll get to that in a minute).

Wednesday was technically the first day of our weekend because K was home from school, and I took the day off.  The first thing we did was go to the grocery store to pick up some Thanksgiving meal essentials.  It may have taken us 20 minutes to get out the door between my toddler wanting to put his shoes on all by himself on the wrong feet and then protesting his jacket, but we did it!  After that it was smooth sailing until we got home, and I had work to do.  I put on some PBS for K to watch so that I could get 30 uninterrupted minutes of work time, but of course, he wanted me to sit next to him.  I did that, but he couldn’t stay away from my laptop, so I moved back to the kitchen island.  That was a no go for K, so I finished up what I could with a whimpering toddler on my hip and one free hand. 

The rest of the day was honestly a bit of a blur.  All I vividly remember is K waking up from his nap feeling a little warm.  He didn’t have a fever, but something was up.  I asked Vishnu to pick up dinner from a place down the street.  When he got home, he took one look at Kaiden, and said that we needed to give him some Tylenol before bed. He was warm and very congested.

Thursday started off much like the way Wednesday ended.  K woke up warm but with no fever.  Just to be on the safe side, we continued with the Tylenol and Motrin, which in some ways was kind of nice because that helped Kaiden stay in a better mood. 

I ended up prepping our Thanksgiving dinner throughout the day when I could find time, and this turned out to be a good plan because by dinnertime everything was fresh and ready!  Of course, Kaiden ate lots of bread, some mac n’ cheese, some chicken and ice cream.  Ha!

The day also included Facetime with family and lots of running around.

After Kaiden went down for the night, our friends came over for dessert and game night.  This turned out to be ice cream, Codenames Pictures, and some deep discussion about gun control in this country.  #adulting

Friday was a good day, and to be honest, I don’t remember much, except that Kaiden woke up with a slight fever.  Poor bubs!  But you wouldn’t really have been able to tell given how much energy he had.  We were supposed to go to my friend’s place for dinner, but I nixed that because I didn’t want her entire household catching whatever Kaiden had.  I also went to Target and Trader Joe’s…per usual.  At Target, I found a couple of good deals on clothing for all three of us.  And that was pretty much the end of my Black Friday shopping. We also watched Frozen at some point on Friday, which Kaiden liked and Vishnu and I loved.  Funny how that works!

Saturday was a better day because Kaiden didn’t wake up warm and his snottyness was more manageable.  We met Vishnu’s cousin and his family for breakfast at a place off Michigan Avenue.  Even though it was kind of cold outside, we decided to walk, and I think Kaiden really appreciated the fresh air.  After breakfast, we walked home and relaxed for a bit.

The rest of the day included packing, cleaning meal prep, and Coco.  Oh and lots of cuddling (well, as much as he would let me) with my baby!

I was creeping on K from the airport, and I happened to see my other love on the floor next to his crib. Can you spot him!? LOL!

And now it’s Sunday.  I’m on my flight to London, where I’ll be for the next four nights.  We have a full team meeting this week which includes planning for next year.  Should be a good one!

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday filled with the people and foods that you love!

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