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State of Our Household – 3.5 Years Old

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Kaiden is officially 3.5 years old! We have a full blown little man on our hands, y’all. He literally sounds like a teenager sometimes (which can be funny or not so much depending on the day).

I think I’ve said this with every age, but I love 3. It’s challenging and frustrating at times, but I love all the cuteness that comes with it (especially the things he says).

With that, here’s how our household is doing at 3.5…

State of Kaiden

Physically, Kaiden is on the smaller side when it comes to weight, but this doesn’t surprise me given that Vishnu was pretty small as a young kid too. Surprisingly, he seems to be a little taller than what we would’ve expected, given that no one is a giant in our families.

Mentally, this kid is as smart as a whip. And it’s not because I’m biased. He is intellectually doing really well (also per his teachers). He understand more than we would ever expect and remembers that much more. While he’s not reading or writing much just yet, his ability to comprehend and put two and two together just blows my mind.

Emotionally, he just gets it too. Not always with his own emotions, but in terms of how certain things would make others feel. He can read a room really well.

Speaking of his own emotions, K is still very much allergic to any word that sounds like no. And when he wants something, he wants it. And when he doesn’t want something he doesn’t want it. The kid’s stubborn! His meltdowns can be pretty epic, but I think we’re getting good at predicting them and bracing ourselves. We’re also working on setting more firm boundaries and then letting him feel what he wants to feel about them. He’s entitled to that, and while he may not love them, boundaries are incredibly important.

In terms of food, K is so hit or miss at home. Sometimes he loves something and sometimes it’s ‘yucky.’ There are some dishes that I can be 99% sure will be a hit, so I tend to rotate those more regularly. But he still loves most veggies, fruits, cheese, pasta (specifically mac n’ cheese) and bread. Thankfully, he still eats well at daycare, so at least there’s that!

In terms of play, the biggest development is K’s love for pretend play, and I’m here for it! He loves to pretend and turn ordinary objects into castles and wands, etc. I’m so thankful for this because it means we don’t need too many toys to keep him occupied. Not that we have much room for more stuff!

And finally, he’s getting into slightly longer books (but still loves his shorter picture books), so I’m thinking about getting him some chapter books we can work through. Should be fun!

So that sums up Kaiden at 3.5. Let’s move on to how mama and dada are doing…

State of Mama

Oh man! As much as I want to pull my hair out sometimes, this sweet little boy has my whole heart plus some. He’s so full of kindness and understanding and joy, and I’m so thankful he’s mine!

In terms of how I’m doing, things are going well. It’s a bit of a juggle with full-time work, Awarify, Kaiden, Vishnu’s schedule, and home stuff. Phew! But I’m learning to let some stuff fall through the cracks when it doesn’t really matter. Haven’t perfected this yet, but I’m trying.

I feel like since I started my coaching program, I’m starting to become so much more aware of my own thoughts and if they’re serving me or not. I’ve always thought of myself as a somewhat aware person, but I wasn’t…it take a lot of deep work and introspection and I’m working on it and discovering new things about myself. This is all to say that this new level of awareness is helping tremendously with my parenting. I’m learning new ways to think about things so they don’t get to me or don’t become a big issue.

I have some ambitious goals for 2021, but I’m tempering any expectations I place on myself, others, and any external situations. Given the year we’ve had, I think it’s better to stay agile when possible. Nonetheless, I’m excited for a new year and some light at the end of the tunnel.

Overall, I’m doing well and looking forward to new adventures with my kiddo!

State of Dada

Dada is BUSY! Lol! Fellowship is a lot of work and responsibility, but we’re lucky that Vishnu’s program is super organized and we know all his call/weekend dates ahead of time. This is the last leg of our medical training journey…next up is attendingship! I’ll be sharing more about that soon!

Vishnu and Kaiden have a really fun and rowdy relationship right now! I suspect it’ll stay that way for a while! I think K also looks to Vishnu as his source of calm because he’s so steady through all the emotions and ups and downs.

I will say that Vishnu is less emotional than me, so while he gives his love to K so openly and freely, he’s also less all over the place. Something I need to learn from him.

Overall, Vishnu’s doing well and really enjoying this age too, although a few times a week, he’ll tell me he’s sad Kaiden is growing up and won’t remain so little for long. #truethat

And that, my friends, is how our household is faring right now. I wish this update was a bit more exciting, but you know…these are Covid times. Hopefully year 4 will bring some better news with it!

Written on December 30, 2020 Related:motherhood, Parenthood, Uncategorized

Hello? Anyone There?

written by Parita 2 Comments

Ok…so it’s been a minute since I’ve posted here. And I’m not going to lie, I miss posting here a few times a week.

If I’m being honest, I don’t know how long I’m going to keep this blog up. At the same time, I don’t want to let it go. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been sharing my life on here for nearly 10 years!

The other day, when I was talking to Vishnu about all the things I want to do with my coaching business, he mentioned halting MIS the blog, and I looked at him like he had 10 heads. However, in my heart, I know that I don’t have a ton of free time to blog. Not that this space is super professional, but it does take time to type your thoughts out.

So here’s what I’m committing to right now. I’m keeping MIS alive for now, and I’m going to take all the pressure off. This means I’ll blog when I have time. I’ve always done things my way on here, and there’s no reason that should change. In fact, when I get some time, it’ll be nice to document the whole entrepreneur side of me.

With that, I’m a business owner, y’all! Like I have an LLC. Isn’t that nuts?! I’ll definitely share more as things unfold, but I’m working on a few big things right now and trying to keep in mind that I can’t go into this at full speed right now. I still have my full time job, Vishnu’s still a fellow, and Kaiden is still my sweet mama loving toddler. Good things take time. And my speedy self is coming to terms with that.

Anyways, life lately looks a little hectic, but I LOVE it. I’ve never felt so happily tired in my life!

With that, I thought I’d share some fun prompts to give you guys a more micro look into my life right now.

Habit I’m trying to break:  iPhone use before bed. I’ve set the same goal for myself for a long time now, and truth be told, I’m still working on it. But I have made some progress in the last couple of weeks, so I’m hopeful. This (bad) habit is directly related to my poor sleep quality, hence, one I know I need to fix now. Now that I’ve shared here, I feel a little more accountability, so I’ll definitely report back.

Habit I’m trying to continue:  64 ounces of water daily. My commitment to this comes from the headaches I get first thing in the morning when I don’t drink a ton of water.

Best experience of the summer:  This summer was definitely a little different than we original planned, but that’s ok. It is what it is and pretty much out of our control, so I’ve come to terms with it. It’s hard to pick just one experience, but for me, it’s all the family time we got. This summer was going to be filled with lots of travel (work + personal), and because all of that has been nixed for now, we’re home all the time. There are some cons to that, but I love that we’ve gotten so much quality time with just the three of us.

Getting me excited for fall:  Do not judge me, but I’m excited for sweatshirts. Vishnu got me two new Nike sweatshirts a while back, and I can’t wait to put them to use. I’ll go from tees and sweatpants to sweatshirts and sweatpants, and I’m all for it. I also can’t wait for cool weather runs and cuddling up under a big blanket on the couch.

Current thing I’m learning to love about myself:  In full transparency, it’s the same thing it’s been for years. I’m learning to love my body and all the amazing things it’s done/doing for me. I’ve accepted that this is likely going to be a lifelong journey for me, but I’m giving it my all. I gained some weight last October-December, and my goal was to get back in the gym and lose what I gained + become stronger. Welllll, while not totally impossible, I haven’t exactly done that. So instead of aiming for a number, I keep movement + nourishing foods in mind, and use those thoughts to push me in the right direction. Always a work in progress, y’all!

Current thing I do love about myself:  My ability to live in the moment and not get totally overwhelmed with everything that’s going on and/or about to happen in the next few months. This is a 180 from how I used to be, so I’m proud of myself for creating a mindspace of flow and joy and knowing that things will work out as they should. Not to say we shouldn’t work hard, but trusting the process.

Book(s) I really can’t wait to read: SO MANY! After I finish my mandatory read for my coaching program, I’m looking forward to reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

Task I haven’t done yet that’s driving me crazy:  Hmmm…I’m sure there’s something, but I can’t really think of it right now. I feel like I need to find a way to get myself more organized, if that’s considered a task…?!

On the docket for this weekend:  Vishnu’s on call, so it’ll be just me and K. If the weather cooperates, I hope we can squeeze in some outdoor playdates as well as some time with my sister and BIL. I also want to take K out to get ice cream. My boy takes after his mama, and therefore, loves anything sweet, especially ice cream. I thought it’d be fun to go somewhere, sit, and lick our cones! 🙂

With that, I hope y’all have a great rest of your week. I’ll see ya (on here again) when I see ya!

Written on September 8, 2020 Related:coaching, Life, motherhood

A Crazy Monday!

written by Parita 1 Comment

Well, Monday didn’t go as planned!

Let’s start from the beginning…

When Vishnu and I woke up, he happened to see that there was some unrest in Chicago the night before. We didn’t think too much of it, so he went to show, and I went in the kitchen to make his lunch and get ready for my day. I happened to glance at my phone and saw that I had a note waiting for me in the school’s app. It said that school was closed because of CTA being closed and the damage done in the surrounding neighborhood.

Of course, I totally understood why the decision was made, and I 100% agreed with it. But that didn’t make moving my day around any easier.

When K woke up, I told him there was no school, and he enthusiastically said, “YAY!” That made me smile!

Between a healthy dose of screen time and hands on time with me, we made it through the day. To be really honest, it made me very grateful for K’s school and all the precautions they take whether it’s Covid related or something like this.

Here are a few highlights/funny moments from the day:

  • Kaiden ate more for breakfast than he has in the past 2 years – a whole apple, a half a piece of Dave’s Killer bread with cream cheese, and 2 thick turkey slices.
  • Kaiden had to poop during a call I had (with an external speaker we’re working with on an event). Of course, I was frazzled, but it all worked out. I’m pretty sure my other colleague on the call with me wanted to bust out laughing.
  • Kaiden skipped his nap (of course!), but he definitely tricked me. At about 12:45 pm, he declared that he was tired and wanted to take a nap. I got him all settled, tucked him in, and of course 10 minute later, I hear a little voice yelling MAMA!
  • We read two Berenstain Bears books, and it made me excited because I feel like we can dabble in longer chapter books soon!
  • We also played in bed which means I ran and jumped and Kaiden laughed. Best 20 minutes of my day!
  • We watched Aladdin in the afternoon. Seriously one of my fav movies!
  • In addition to everything that happened overnight, we also experienced a crazy storm in the late afternoon. It spooked Kaiden out, and I was pretty sure out patio furniture was going to end up in the Chicago River. It didn’t. However, there as a lot of destruction across other parts of the city.

Anyways, that was our crazy Monday. Not as expected, but I think I handled it with as much grace and calm as I could muster. I give so much props and credit to those working parents who also have to play the role of teacher at home during this crazy time. Hats off to you!

Written on August 11, 2020 Related:home, Life, motherhood, Uncategorized

Day in the Life – July 14, 2020

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I thought I’d share a day in the life update today, as things look a little bit different around here than they did even a month ago. I used to share this kind of post more often back in the day, and I love going back and seeing what our days looked like at various points in our lives. Oh how things hav changed!

Let’s dive right in…

5:45a – I randomly woke up and looked at the clock to see that it’s 5:45. I forgot to set my alarm! I usually wake up at 5:30. Gah!

6:00a – I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, and changed out of my PJs before settling down at my desk to check emails and do a little bit of work.

6:30a – I heard Kaiden saying, “Mama, mama, I need to go poo poo,” so I ran to his room and to take him to the potty. He’s usually not up until 7:00, so this is a fun surprise! However, I’m still so thankful he wakes up and tells us he has to go versus going in his pull-up.

6:45a-7:50a – I attempted to continue working but not very successfully. I also made Vishnu a salad for lunch before making Kaiden a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. We then watched an episode of Pinkalicious. When I told him it’s time to brush his teeth, he told me to set a timer. After two timers, playing with his dinosaurs and dump truck, and cutting some paper with his scissors, we went to the bathroom to brush his teeth! Then we put on his socks and shoes. He jumped into his stroller and we were off!

7:50-8:20a – I dropped K off at school. Thankfully, it’s within walking distance. Also, I’m SO GRATEFUL that Kaiden loves going to school now. He asks, “Hey, mama. We going to school?” EVERY SINGLE DAY! Makes things so much easier!

8:20a-12:00p – Work, work, work, work. Mid-year review (!), meetings, reviewing documents, writing, project stuff, etc.

At 10a, I also ate my first meal of the day because I’m trying out intermittent fasting (only my 2nd week)! I definitely plan to share more about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, results, what I’m eating, etc. soon. Stay tuned!

12:00-12:45p – Workout break. I did a quick 30 minute PopSugar Fitness strength workout and took a quick shower as well.

12:45-4:00p – Work, work, work, work! I also ate my second meal at 1:45p because I was starving.

Vishnu came home around 2:00ish. Today was an academic day for him (he gets one every 2 week), but he still had to go to the hospital for a few things (he left the house at 7:15).

4:00p – Cleaned up around the house. Folded laundry and put dishes in dishwasher.

4:30p – Went to pick up K! Easily my favorite part of the day!

4:50-6:00p – PLAY, PLAY, PLAY

6:00-6:30p – Dinner time! We ordered pizza from Pequods for dinner. Kaiden and I shared a thin crust (half cheese and half pineapple/green olives) and Vishnu got a personal pan pizza with sausage and jalapenos. YUM!

6:30-7:30p – Bath time, reading time, bed time! It only took me three times to leave K’s room to be called back!

7:30-8:45p – Work, work, work. Wrapped up a few emails and worked on a project document.

8:45-9:15p – Typed up this post.

10:00p – LIGHTS OUT!

Written on July 15, 2020 Related:Life, motherhood, Uncategorized

Sonal Singh’s Inspiring Journey – From Chemicals to Biscuits

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I’m so excited to share today’s post. As you know, I love inspirational stories, especially from mamas who work hard to make their dreams come true (whatever that looks like). Today’s mama, Sonal, did just that, and I find her journey so awesome. But more than that, I love that she never gave up and went with the twists and turns life threw her way.

I’m lucky to call Sonal a friend, and when I asked if she was interested in sharing her story on MIS, she quickly agreed.

So grab your favorite snack and be prepared to be inspired. Oh and follow Sonal on IG at @deargirlslovemom. Her feed is filled with beautiful food, stories about motherhood, and her general thoughts and ideas. I love the mix and the authenticity with which Sonal shares.

Ok, enough from me. Over to Sonal…

A few weeks ago, after I launched my biscuit buisness, Parita reached out to me to share that she felt inspired by what I am doing. Truth be told, I don’t think she really understands how following her blog has been regular doses of motivation for me. I guess that goes to show that when you really are true to yourself and who you are, others find pockets of your story to inspire with them.

I digress by saying, I did not, and even in this moment, DO NOT have my shit together. Even with an equal partner in parenting, a mother-in-law to help, and a father-in-law that jumps in when he sees I’m about to lose my mind when raising my girls, I still don’t get a shower in every day, there are many peanut butter or avocado toast lunches, the TV still is on duty to help baby sit, and I still have a post baby body to love more than I would like to admit most days. Some of this may change as the girls get older, but I have my arms open to all the other unforeseen challenges to come. It’s my life, and my lane. I can’t and won’t change my past for someone else’s no matter what has happened because there are too many lessons I’ve learned to get me to where I am and where I want to go. That is gold right there.

While try I to write my story so that my daughters grow up knowing they have a strong, motivated, daring, hard-working mother, they and the rest of the world should also know I am full of mistakes that I learn from, failures so that I can grow, and scars to remind me that I am human. 

There aren’t many things that have not gone exactly as planned in my life. Most of my 5 year plans get thrown off but I think taking chances and living in the moment has helped me accept curve balls. The first big one being meeting my husband. I was on the “screw boys” parade when I met him and never looked back after our first date. We went ring shopping six months into dating on my first trip to Vancouver (where I also fell in love with Granville Island and the small culinary school there) and were engaged by eight months. Since that trip to Vancouver, Darren, my now husband, always asked me why I don’t just go to culinary school. He knew my love for cooking and was always my biggest cheerleader when I would tell him about my dreams of having a successful cooking blog. It was comforting to know he had my back but I never acted on it because I was blissfully content.

Finally in fall 2014, after having our dog for less than a year, I decided it was time to give up my career as a chemist. I loved my job and how dynamic it was, but as we started to think about wanting a family one day I knew the things worried I was already bringing home around our dog would give me more anxiety once we had kids. Some of the chemicals I have worked with in the past were toxic enough to make a man go sterile to give perspective of the types of hazardous materials I would use. Darren was also at a point in his career where he could either choose to venture into having his own private practice in Canada or keep working in the States. So after a years of Darren’s encouragement to go to culinary school, I applied to The Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts in Granville Island, and was accepted to start in January 2015. We packed up our house in Tallahassee, Florida and drove to Vancouver, Canada with a car full of our things and our dog in December 2014. A curve ball in my 5 year plan that I never thought would happen even after I knew I was marrying a Canadian.

Highly recommend a cross-country road trip! One of the best trips I’ve done and can’t wait to do it again with my girls. 

Once in Canada, it really hit me hard. I had lived away from home since I was 18 but being 3 time zones away from my friends and family and in another country really took a toll on me. I LOVED being in school and all the fun exciting opportunities I was getting. My imagination was going wild with the creative dishes I could make with every ingredient imaginable. But when I would leave at the end of the night, I felt isolated and alone. Darren was working opposite schedules than my school schedule, and I spent more time talking to our dog than I would any of my family or friends because of the time zone difference. Pastry school was a bit easier since I was in morning classes but days felt long because right after school, I would go to my our clinic to help Darren with administrative work. I heavily depended on him for a social network and continued to struggle to find my own community here. There were many days where I questioned what I had done. The worst part is the questioning would continue for years to come.

I graduated in December 2016 and skipped my graduation to help at the clinic. It’s where I knew I was needed for the future of my family. Sometimes people ask if I regret never going into the industry after getting my culinary and pastry degree and the answer is still “no!” I know what the industry requires. The biggest thing chefs sacrifice is time for themselves and family. I was well aware of this before I even went to school so the fact is not a surprise to me. My diploma is valuable to me because it is proof that I took a chance on myself. It fulfilled a part of me that I suppressed to fit into this idea of what I was expected to be. Ultimately this chapter of my life will serve as an example for me to talk to my girls about following their dreams and happiness.

Fast forward to September 2016 when I find out I am pregnant. It happened a lot faster than we anticipated and it was only a matter of days after when I really started feeling the intensity of the hyperemesis gravidarum- basically non stop severe nausea and vomiting that landed me in the hospital almost weekly for my entire pregnancy.  My pregnancy journey for both of my girls left me with A LOT of post partum anxiety. Something I didn’t even know was a thing until my second was about 9 months old. I got pregnant with my second while my first was only 10 months old so I was NOT ready to do this again. So much of the trauma from my first pregnancy manifested itself the second time around especially since I had hyperemesis gravidarum again, but this time while raising a strong willed toddler.

My life between September 2016 to January 2020 was filled with lots of emotional and mental ups and down. I felt like since birth I was groomed to go to school and have a career and that motherhood would just naturally come to me. That there were some magical hormones that would tell my brain and body what to do so that I would be a happy mom. Obviously not the case as any mother will tell you. We are all struggling and thriving! We are all sacrificing and growing! This is why I felt compelled to share at the beginning that I am just another mother taking it day by day. I knew the day my first daughter was born that getting myself to feel like I have a grip on this was going to take time. I had been to hell and back with my pregnancy and I was NOT going to let myself or anyone make me move on from how terrible it was until I was ready. Letting go of a timeline to get back mentally allowed me to pay attention to my day and how to be better or simply just survive the next day. There were days I felt like I was wasting valuable time because all I could do give my girls all my energy leaving nothing for myself. I felt like there was no end to these difficult baby/toddler days and that my life would never have purpose beyond being a mom. But simple reminders of where I was and how far I’ve come would allow me to refocus on how this is MY story and the two people that will likely want to know it needs to see how I grew.  

Which is why, after many unsuccessful cooking blogs, I have now found the perfect one. My blog, Dear Girls, Love Mom is filled with love letters to my girls. It is the passion project I want to leave them with so they look back and read about their childhood through my eyes and my motherhood journey with them. An extension of it is a small, one man business I started this year in the middle of Covid-19 called Yo Momma’s Biscuits- a place to get southern style biscuits in Vancouver.  Even though I never worked in the industry, there are binders and binders of valuable knowledge I have on food businesses and recipes that I want to share with my girls and anyone that follows my blog. I have many dreams about where Yo Momma’s Biscuits will take me, but, like I learned from my recent years of becoming a mom, I’m taking it one step at a time. Biting off more than I can chew is a recipe for disaster so I am okay with keeping it simple and orders at a minimum. 

I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in the last 5 years is give yourself the grace you give others, and also ask from others. It wouldn’t be a lesson if it was easy to do. As you can see I am not some well-to-do, big shot, boss babe (although I call myself that in the mirror to boost myself esteem). I am a Mom just trying to be the best example I can be to my girls by living the lessons I want to teach them. If someone can find inspiration in that, then I hope to connect with them so that we can champion motherhood together. 

Written on July 1, 2020 Related:guest post, Life, motherhood

State of Our Household – THREE YEARS OLD!

written by Parita Leave a Comment

We officially have a three year old on our hands! WHAT?!

I know this is the most cliche thing to say on your child’s birthday, but I remember every last detail of the days leading up to my delivery with so much clarity. If you want to know more about how Kaiden was brought into the world, read his birth story.

Anyways, let’s get to the details of this post and see how each member of our household is doing!

State of Kaiden

Oh how Mr. K has grown! I feel like just over the past three months, he’s grown in leaps and bounds. Some days, I feel like he’s three going on thirteen. But this age is still so much fun! You don’t know what he’s going to do or say…that element of surprise is a real thing, y’all!

In terms of his personality, he’s one of the funniest people I know! He’s so witty and knows how to get laughs. And if you don’t laugh, he’ll look at you and say, “LAUGH!” Well, ok then! He’s also really sweet. He doesn’t like to see people upset or hurt. I hope his sense of empathy only gets stronger as he gets older. In some ways, Kaiden is like me, he’s super emotional and can get upset quickly, but he gets over the situation quickly. He doesn’t hold grudges. What else? He’s also very stubborn (like most three year olds?!). Kaiden is always down for a good time. It takes him a bit to warm up to people, but once he does, there’s no stopping him!

In terms of sleep, we’re doing well. He goes down between 7:30-7:45p every night (although the antics have definitely started where he tries to keep me in the room as long as he can!), but he’ll fall asleep anywhere from the minute his head hits his pillow to 9 pm. Before he started school again, he was waking up between 7:15-7:30a most days, and now he’s up between 6-7a. Not an easy transition for his parents either! Naps are hit or miss, mostly still hits (those days are rough!). I think pushing his nap time back to 1:30p (vs. 1:00p) may help. We’ll see!

He’s still a pretty good eater. K loves most things, but it does take a bit to get him to the table. Once he’s there, he’s good. Like most kids, we still have our days where he doesn’t want to eat something and will say he’s full after a few bites. It takes everything in me to just be ok with that, but I’m trying! I want him to listen to his hunger cues, so I’m going to chalk it up to him truly not needing any food. Who knows!

Kaiden is now talking a ton! It’s incredible to see and probably one of my favorite developments over the past year. His vocab is pretty great, but what gets me is how much he can say in the correct context. It’s insane!

Like most toddlers, K doesn’t like hearing no or being told what to do. So we have to get creative! Ha! But I will say, if we can just stay calm and meet him on his level, he’s pretty good. It’s not like he won’t budge.

I know this is a very biased this to say, but I think I have the cutest, sweetest, happiest baby boy in the whole world! He really is the best, and I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!

State of Mama

Mama is doing well! I really do love this age, so even though things get rough from time to time, I find that it’s easier to handle.

Quarantine was interesting. If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that work + K wasn’t easy. Something I haven’t talked much about yet is self-care and energy management. I did/do work out every day, but I still haven’t been able to drop the pounds I gained last October. I was on a good path up until mid-March, and then it all went downhill. So I’m trying to focus on regular movement and healthier eating. Easier said than done, but I’m trying!

Other than that, I need to get on a better night time routine. I haven’t been going to sleep at a consistent time, and it shows! Every Monday, I tell myself this is my week! But nope. Two days in and I’m all over the place again. Let’s say this one is a work in progress.

Other than that, everything is the same old!

State of Dada

Vishnu graduated residency earlier this month, which was a momentous occasion for us! Woo hoo!

He’s now gearing up for fellowship and all that brings. It’s going to be a busy year!

Other than that, I’m happy to report that Kaiden and Vishnu’s relationship is the strongest it’s ever been. K is still very much a mama’s boy, but he loves his dada…always asking for him and wanting to wrestle with him! It’s fun to watch, and also a big relief because I’m not the only one he will go to! Woo hoo!

I’ll share another update at 3.5. I love rereading these posts and thinking back on little K!

Written on June 29, 2020 Related:motherhood, Parenthood, Toddler, Uncategorized

My Advice for Mamas Going On or Returning From Maternity Leave

written by Parita Leave a Comment

I was asked to be part of an International Women’s Day panel this week. There were a total of six women on the panel representing different aspects working womanhood. It was an incredible experience, and I got great feedback from various people, both men and women, about the format and diversity of voices that were shared.

I shared my Q&A on my stories but was asked to post it on the blog because it was too hard to read (sorry!). So here it is – my advice for mamas going on or returning from maternity leave…

Question: Parita, you’ve been on maternity leave while working at XXX. What advice would you give someone else who is about to go on or return from maternity leave? 

Answer: So my answer is three-fold.  But before I talk about that, I just want to say it’s important to acknowledge that the person who leaves the office on day 1 of maternity leave is not the same person who returns on day X.  What you need and want from your job and organization will change because you’ve just started the ultimate job of being someone’s mom.  This isn’t something I thought too much about before my leave, but I think it’s important to understand and acknowledge this.

With that being said, the first thing I would tell someone who is about to go on maternity leave or about to return back to work, is to think through what it is you now need.  Do your hours still work for you?  Do you need some flexibility to work from home?  Can you still travel?  Think through the role you left and figure out what elements still work for you and which ones need to change. 

From there, come up with a plan.  One that focuses on you as well as your team.  Think through how the things you need will impact everyone else and how you can mitigate that to whatever degree.  Think through any other challenges and barriers, any potential benefits, etc.

Once you have your plan mapped out, put it in writing and talk to you manager about putting it in action.  For example, I knew I needed/wanted Fridays off when I returned from leave so I put pen to paper and submitted a request to be on a 4/10 schedule.  I’m flexible to work on Fridays and my team knows that, and it works for us.

The thing is that no one knows what you need or want but you, and this really goes to everyone, not just working moms.  You have to ask for what you want because, trust me, no one cares or thinks about you as much as you do.  And at the end of the day, the worst thing anyone can say is no.  And if that’s the case, the ball’s back in your court to figure out your next steps.

*And yes, I am that person who types out her response word for word. But I do that because I don’t want to veer to far from the question and because I want to make sure I cover everything.

Written on March 12, 2020 Related:motherhood, working motherhood

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