My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

My Advice for Mamas Going On or Returning From Maternity Leave

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I was asked to be part of an International Women’s Day panel this week. There were a total of six women on the panel representing different aspects working womanhood. It was an incredible experience, and I got great feedback from various people, both men and women, about the format and diversity of voices that were shared.

I shared my Q&A on my stories but was asked to post it on the blog because it was too hard to read (sorry!). So here it is – my advice for mamas going on or returning from maternity leave…

Question: Parita, you’ve been on maternity leave while working at XXX. What advice would you give someone else who is about to go on or return from maternity leave? 

Answer: So my answer is three-fold.  But before I talk about that, I just want to say it’s important to acknowledge that the person who leaves the office on day 1 of maternity leave is not the same person who returns on day X.  What you need and want from your job and organization will change because you’ve just started the ultimate job of being someone’s mom.  This isn’t something I thought too much about before my leave, but I think it’s important to understand and acknowledge this.

With that being said, the first thing I would tell someone who is about to go on maternity leave or about to return back to work, is to think through what it is you now need.  Do your hours still work for you?  Do you need some flexibility to work from home?  Can you still travel?  Think through the role you left and figure out what elements still work for you and which ones need to change. 

From there, come up with a plan.  One that focuses on you as well as your team.  Think through how the things you need will impact everyone else and how you can mitigate that to whatever degree.  Think through any other challenges and barriers, any potential benefits, etc.

Once you have your plan mapped out, put it in writing and talk to you manager about putting it in action.  For example, I knew I needed/wanted Fridays off when I returned from leave so I put pen to paper and submitted a request to be on a 4/10 schedule.  I’m flexible to work on Fridays and my team knows that, and it works for us.

The thing is that no one knows what you need or want but you, and this really goes to everyone, not just working moms.  You have to ask for what you want because, trust me, no one cares or thinks about you as much as you do.  And at the end of the day, the worst thing anyone can say is no.  And if that’s the case, the ball’s back in your court to figure out your next steps.

*And yes, I am that person who types out her response word for word. But I do that because I don’t want to veer to far from the question and because I want to make sure I cover everything.

Day in the Life – February 19, 2020

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I love reading about other people’s days. The mundane details, the out of the ordinary stuff, all of it. I think there’s magic in sharing about our lives more openly, even the not so glamorous stuff. Like what you’re about to read. HA!

So I’m choosing to share a ‘day in the life’ type post now because unlike most days, I actually went to the office on February 19 and did more than just work and go to the gym.

Again not glamorous…just more interesting. Or so I think!

Let’s get started.

4:30 am – My alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but I’m up and just waiting for the beeping to start.

4:45 am – My alarm goes off and out I roll. Brush teeth, shower, put make up on, and do hair. It’s all a little robotic at this point in the morning, but I want to be ready before 5:45 which is sometimes when Kaiden wakes up. Once he’s up, there’s no way I can do anything for myself.

6:15 am – I have to go in and wake K up! I could’ve slept a bit longer!! It takes him a bit to wake up, so we cuddle on the couch and goof around.

6:30 am – I put a Daniel Tiger episode on, give K some cereal and make myself a shake.

7:00 am – Brush K’s teeth, put on my work clothes, change Kaiden…

7:15 am – We are out the door on our way to school and work! And like I tell K every morning, we’re going to have an AWESOME day!

7:25 am – Drop off complete and I’m walking to work. So here’s the thing. I used to complain about Chicago weather a lot. Like A LOT. It’s so damn cold and the wind is brutal. This year (knocking on all the wood!) hasn’t been so bad. With that being said, today was COLD. And I totally didn’t think to wear my warm winter boots. My ankles were exposed and freezing! The 10 day forecast looks a bit warmer than today, so there’s that! Look at me grow and not be a negative Nancy about things I clearly can’t control!

7:45 – Arrive at work, set up, get my water and start my day.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

9:30 am – Our team in Chicago does a bagels and coffee breakfast thing once a month, so I head out to the cafe area to meet them. I love this event because it gets us all together and talking and reconnected.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

12:00 pm – Eat lunch with a coworker/friend. We haven’t seen each other since December so there’s a lot to catch up on!

WORK WORK WORK WORK

2:30 pm – Grab a coffee with another coworker/friend and catch up. I haven’t really been in the office much since December, so it’s nice to just hear about what people are up to. To be honest, I get more done at home, but I do love going in to our office because of the people. Everyone’s so nice, and honestly, it’s just a nice break for the ‘work by yourself’ routine I’ve created for myself over the past couple of months.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

4:00 pm – Pack up and head out to get K and go home! But first, stop at Taco Bell to grab dinner. 🙂

There are no pictures after this point because it’s hard once K’s around. I just don’t think about it that much. So I hope my words paint a fairly clear picture for you!

4:30 pm – Get to K’s school (I take the train and then walk), convince him it’s time to go home, and head out.

4:50 pm – HOME!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

5:15 pm – Daddy’s up! This is Vishnu’s last few days of nights (hopefully forever!). Kaiden gets so excited to see him and it just melts my heart!

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!

6:15 pm – Sit down to eat our beloved Taco Bell! Surprisingly, Kaiden eats the burrito I got him with minimal fuss. Of course, he also eats a few carrot sticks and some apple!

6:30 pm – Vishnu leaves for work, and K and I head to the bathroom so he can take a bath.

6:45 pm – Get K dressed and lotioned up.

7:00 pm – Read books. Tonight’s picks include – If You Take a Mouse to School, Giraffes Can’t Dance, Krishna, and Lakshmi.

7:15 – Brush K’s teeth, finish up one last book, turn on sound machine (Kaiden’s job), debate about which ball to sleep with (he couldn’t decide if he wanted his new basketball or his old one – went for the new one!).

7:35 pm – Sing songs, pray, say affirmations…I leave his room and pray he goes to sleep and stays asleep!

8:05 pm – I check K’s monitor and he’s finally down!

8:30 pm – Do the dishes, pick up toys, fold and put away laundry, etc.

9:00 pm – Finish up this blog post

[If everything goes according to plan] 9:45 pm – Wash my face, brush my teeth, and get into bed. I read for a bit before my eyes feel heavy. Turn on meditation music and fall asleep.

10:15 – Hopefully I’m fast asleep…

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

5:15 am – Wake up and do it all again (with some variations!).

And that is a typical day…when I go in to the office. Like I said, nothing too exciting but joyful and fun nonetheless!

Have a great Thursday!

Diary of a Working Mom – Yours Truly

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So many of the moms I’ve interviewed for this series have told me to answer the questions myself. Well, it took me a while, but I’m doing it!

I thought this would be a good way for new readers/followers to get to know me, as the questions span everything from schedules to mottos to guilty pleasures.

Let’s get right to it!

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
My family consists of me, my hubby of 7.5 years Vishnu, and our beautiful and fun baby boy Kaiden. We’re originally from Atlanta but have been living in Chicago for the past 3.5 years.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I work for a global accounting organisation and am a Senior Manager on the People and Culture (P&C) team. Essentially, I collaborate and work with and for P&C leaders in our member firms (we have ~140 firms) on various projects, initiatives, tools, etc. related to (you guessed it!) people and culture issues.

I like this role because it’s more strategic in nature. We don’t do any hiring, firing and paperwork. It’s really about working on the things that will impact our network and make us future-fit.

And I’ve been with my current organisation for a little over 7.5 years.

3. Walk me through a day in your life.
The answer to this depends on if I’m going in to the office or not.

Par going to office – wake up at 4:45 and shower + get ready; start prepping breakfast shake and mine and Vishnu’s lunch; Kaiden up at 6; cuddle with K, feed him breakfast, wrap up everything else; get K dressed for school and brush his teeth; get myself dressed; get out the door by 7:15; drop K off at school and walk to work; get to the office by 7:45; work work work until 4:14 pm; walk to Kaiden’s daycare, pick him up and get home by 5 ish; prep dinner and keep K entertained until it’s time to eat; sit down to eat at 6; either Vishnu or I give K a bath at 6:30 while the other person cleans up in the kitchen; once K is dressed and ‘creamed’ up, we sit, read and play; at 7:15, Vishnu takes K to brush his teeth; I then put him down (sing 4 songs, say our prayers and affirmations, goodnight kisses, lights out!); from 7:30-9:00, Vishnu and I hang out on the couch – watch TV, talk, blog, do work, etc.; I get into bed by 9:15 and read for about 20-30 minutes; then it’s lights out for me!

Par works from home – the day looks very similar to the above except I wake up at 5:30; also my afternoon looks different when I’m home – I stop working at 4 and then I clean up around the house, start prepping dinner, etc.

Vishnu and I decide who will pick up and drop off Kaiden based on our schedules. Sometimes he does one or both and sometimes it’s me.

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I feel like I’m a lot more efficient. Time and self-management are key ‘mom skills’ and I’m glad I’m able to transfer those over to my role at work.

Another way motherhood has impacted me at work is that I don’t take things to heart anymore. I used to analyze anything and everything someone said or did. I would get upset if I wasn’t included on a project. Work took up a lot of my mind space. Now? I realize work is one (small) element. My goal is to do what I need (and do it well) to do to provide for my family and prioritize the rest of my time around our family. Life is too short to spend so much energy on work (just my personal opinion).

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
If you’re not already, become a list person. Like paper and pen list person. My lists keep me sane and on track – for work and personal stuff. I feel like if you have system for capturing the random thoughts that come and go during the day (and night!), you can more easily flow between work and life.

Also, don’t multitask. It’s a myth. Set a timer, focus on one task at a time, and slowly get stuff done.

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
To be honest, I felt a lot of mom guilt in the beginning…about anything and everything. And I think that was because Kaiden was so helpless and I thought I was the only one who could (and should) help him. As he’s gotten older, I see that he only benefits from having rich relationships with other people including his dad (duh!), his grandparents, his aunts/uncles, daycare providers, baby sitters, etc.

If you love the s*** out of your kid and make the most of the time that you do have with him/her, mom guilt should really start to fade away.

It does rear it’s ugly head from time to time, but I try my best to push it out because I know I’m doing the best I can and I know I love my child to bits and pieces and that’s all that matters!

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding?
Surprising – being ok with things being undone at times. I used to be someone who’d spend 4 hours every weekend cleaning a one bedroom apartment. I now don’t nitpick at that level. It’s ok if some things get left for tomorrow.
Rewarding – picking Kaiden up at daycare and seeing his face light up when he sees him (or when he gets home if Vishnu picks him up)!

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
I try to use the time when K’s sleeping (naps, down for the night) to my advantage. Sure, I could spend hours scrolling IG (which I occasionally do). But I really try to be intentional about how I spend the hours I do get to myself.

Me time for me looks like reading, blogging, chatting with a friend, watching a show with Vishnu.

And my guilty pleasure has to be chocolate. Chocolate in most any form is life!

9. What’s your mama mantra?
One day/hour/minute at a time.

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
Don’t jump back in…wade back in. Everyone knows your capable but take the time you need to get re-acclimated.

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Ask for what you want/need. The worst thing anyone can say is no! This goes for assignments, to pumping rooms, to everything in between. Be your own best advocate!


State of Our Household [2.5 Years]

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First of all, I can’t believe Kaiden is 2.5. I know it’s the most cliche thing to say, but time really does fly when you have a little human in your life. Zoom zoom!

Overall, 2.5 feels like such a turning point. I’ve seen such a change in K in small ways and big over the past six months. Putting aside the fact that I’m his mom, it’s been so amazing to witness. Like how did my little mush of a baby turn into such a big boy?!

With that, let’s dive right in…

State of Kaiden

Let’s kick this off on a positive note. Kaiden is an incredibly sweet and kind child. While he’s not super outgoing, he thrives when he’s around people. You can just see his eyes light up when he’s with loved ones! One of my favorite things about him is that he is empathetic. Ok fine, maybe not fully, but I can tell that he feels for others by his actions and words.

Kaiden is also still very much a mama’s boy! And I can’t lie…I love it. We’ll be sitting on the couch together, and he’ll randomly look at me and say, “HUG!” So I have to put down whatever I’m holding and hug him! My heart! My favorite thing to do with him is just cuddle and hold him super tight…and cover him with kisses! Not looking forward to the day when he doesn’t want to do that anymore…

Personality wise…the other thing about him that stands out for me is his sense of humor. He’s a funny guy! While he’s not exactly cracking jokes just yet, he definitely has some really good comedic timing. I don’t quite get how a 2.5 year old can say things at the perfect time, but this guy…he’s full of surprises! Hand in hand with this, he loves to laugh. And trust me when I say, his laugh is contagious!

In terms of food and sleep, we’re doing great with one and ok with the other. Can you guess which is which? He loves food and will try most things. It’s still hard to get him to focus on eating sometimes, but we’re working on it. He still loves Indian food, pasta, and almost all fruits and veggies. Now don’t get me wrong, we still have days/nights where a picky little monster comes out, but most days, he’s good.

In terms of sleep, we were doing really well and then potty training (more on this next week) came along and all of that went out the window. We can usually put him down at 7:30 and expect him to wake up between 5:30-6. Nowadays, I’m in his room about 3x between 7:30-8 just to get him to fall asleep. He’s also up multiple times throughout the night and then he still wakes up at 5:30 most days. Man, oh, man! I thought sleep would be the least of our worries as he got older…I was wrong! I’m hoping as the potty becomes his new norm, we can ease back into more sleep. Fingers crossed!

Developmentally, my favorite thing over the past six months has been his language and cognitive development. I don’t know how many words he knows, but it’s a lot! He speaks in full sentences, asks questions, and even infers things from what we say. CRAZINESS! In terms of cognitive development, he really as a great memory and can remember things we’ve told him or that he’s seen/heard days later. I just love watching that little brain work!

Physically, he’s a little on the smaller side, but our pediatrician said that he comes from a smaller family so we can’t expect him to be huge. HAHA. But don’t let my skinny man fool you. He’s got energy for DAYS! He is always on the move. And I don’t like being that mom who brags, but I really do think we have a little soccer star on our hands. Even Vishnu thinks so! He’s great at handling the ball, and has a really strong kick. I’m so glad we enrolled him in soccer classes, only because they help him burn off some of his energy and do something he loves and is good at!

With that being said, Kaiden’s favorite things are still balls. Any and all balls! You guys, he’s obsessed. He’s also into legos and just random items…mostly things that he can knock down with…you guessed it…balls! I actually love that he’s not a toys kid. He can literally turn anything into something. #likehisdaddy

With ALL of that being said, there are a few things we are working on. First, when Kaiden gets upset (usually when we are upset with him), he gets mad. When he gets mad, he tries to hit us. And he also uses the phrase, ‘Go away!’ When he does this, I have to take him in his room and talk to him very calmly about why we don’t do and say those kinds of things. Now, randomly, he’ll say, “Don’t say go away.” As in, I’m not supposed to say that, right? We’re working on it!

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we have embarked on our potty training journey. It’s…interesting. I have hope that we’ll get there in a couple of months, but like everyone who’s done this before says, you have to go at your kid’s pace.

And of course, there are those toddler meltdowns and tantrums that often come of left field. I’m at a point now where I tell him that when’s done feeling his feelings mommy will talk to him.

Other than THAT, we’re all good over here. HAHA! #alwayssomething

State of Mama

You guys, this is probably the best I’ve felt in the past 2.5 years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a beautiful and magical time, but it’s also been hard. But now, I feel like I’m in my groove with being a mom (not saying I have all the answers, just that I feel like I can navigate the ups and downs with more confidence), Vishnu and I are solid, work is going really well, I have something really exciting happening in the background (more to come when I can share…promise!), I’ve found some great friends in Chicago, etc.

My mom shared with me that she sees a difference in how relaxed I am now versus before. She said that things don’t seem to stress me out as much now. I think a lot of that has to do with the kind of kid Kaiden is. He really is a lot of fun 90% of the time.

So year, overall, things are good. It’s always a juggle trying to balance work, home, family, friends, travel, etc., and it still stresses me out when things start to pile up, but I’m slowly learning that everything works out as it should. Stressing about it only makes the situation worse.

State of Dada

You guys, since we found out that Vishnu matched for fellowship AND that he passed his boards, he has been the most relaxed I’ve seen him in the past eight years. It’s like my old Vishnu is back! I’ll take him for as long as this lasts, as stress is kind of a given in medicine.

Most importantly, this means that Vishnu and Kaiden have been able to spend more time together in the past six months, which I know means the world to Vishnu. We were even able to celebrate our first Christmas as a family this year!

Vishnu still has other work responsibilities that take up his time and a few other things happening in the background, but overall, I think he’s doing well. He’s taking better care of his health too, which makes me so happy!

Next up, fellowship (another busy year!) and job hunting!

Can you believe that in less than 1.5 years, we’ll be moving again…and hopefully to our forever city! I can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, that’s all I have folks! If you got this far, thank you for reading and caring about my little family. 🙂

Until next time!

Thanksgiving Weekend 2019

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Better late than never right?!  I wrote this on my way to London, the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  I’m actually posting it a week after that. But I wrote it so I’m sharing it! Ha!

I’ve always loved this time of year – between November and December.  It just feels magical and cozy.  But now that we have K and he’s getting older; I think I’m going to love it more and more. 

Let’s talk about Thanksgiving weekend 2019, because while it had its ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a single thing (well, maybe one, but I’ll get to that in a minute).

Wednesday was technically the first day of our weekend because K was home from school, and I took the day off.  The first thing we did was go to the grocery store to pick up some Thanksgiving meal essentials.  It may have taken us 20 minutes to get out the door between my toddler wanting to put his shoes on all by himself on the wrong feet and then protesting his jacket, but we did it!  After that it was smooth sailing until we got home, and I had work to do.  I put on some PBS for K to watch so that I could get 30 uninterrupted minutes of work time, but of course, he wanted me to sit next to him.  I did that, but he couldn’t stay away from my laptop, so I moved back to the kitchen island.  That was a no go for K, so I finished up what I could with a whimpering toddler on my hip and one free hand. 

The rest of the day was honestly a bit of a blur.  All I vividly remember is K waking up from his nap feeling a little warm.  He didn’t have a fever, but something was up.  I asked Vishnu to pick up dinner from a place down the street.  When he got home, he took one look at Kaiden, and said that we needed to give him some Tylenol before bed. He was warm and very congested.

Thursday started off much like the way Wednesday ended.  K woke up warm but with no fever.  Just to be on the safe side, we continued with the Tylenol and Motrin, which in some ways was kind of nice because that helped Kaiden stay in a better mood. 

I ended up prepping our Thanksgiving dinner throughout the day when I could find time, and this turned out to be a good plan because by dinnertime everything was fresh and ready!  Of course, Kaiden ate lots of bread, some mac n’ cheese, some chicken and ice cream.  Ha!

The day also included Facetime with family and lots of running around.

After Kaiden went down for the night, our friends came over for dessert and game night.  This turned out to be ice cream, Codenames Pictures, and some deep discussion about gun control in this country.  #adulting

Friday was a good day, and to be honest, I don’t remember much, except that Kaiden woke up with a slight fever.  Poor bubs!  But you wouldn’t really have been able to tell given how much energy he had.  We were supposed to go to my friend’s place for dinner, but I nixed that because I didn’t want her entire household catching whatever Kaiden had.  I also went to Target and Trader Joe’s…per usual.  At Target, I found a couple of good deals on clothing for all three of us.  And that was pretty much the end of my Black Friday shopping. We also watched Frozen at some point on Friday, which Kaiden liked and Vishnu and I loved.  Funny how that works!

Saturday was a better day because Kaiden didn’t wake up warm and his snottyness was more manageable.  We met Vishnu’s cousin and his family for breakfast at a place off Michigan Avenue.  Even though it was kind of cold outside, we decided to walk, and I think Kaiden really appreciated the fresh air.  After breakfast, we walked home and relaxed for a bit.

The rest of the day included packing, cleaning meal prep, and Coco.  Oh and lots of cuddling (well, as much as he would let me) with my baby!

I was creeping on K from the airport, and I happened to see my other love on the floor next to his crib. Can you spot him!? LOL!

And now it’s Sunday.  I’m on my flight to London, where I’ll be for the next four nights.  We have a full team meeting this week which includes planning for next year.  Should be a good one!

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday filled with the people and foods that you love!

Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Rashmi Patel

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It’s been a minute since I’ve shared a Diary of a Working Mom Q&A post, and I’m so excited for today’s. Rashmi (of @rushmehome) is someone I connected with on Instagram. On her page, she shares home decor inspiration, products, tips, tricks, etc. She’s super creative (and sweet!), and it shows!

But of course, there’s another very important side to her as well…MOM! She’s the mom of two adorable kiddos, and I love seeing how she balances that role with her full-time Marketing job as well as her side hustle…not to mention the million other hats she wears.

Anyways, I’ll let Rashmi tell her story…

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.
My name is Rashmi and I’ve been married to my husband Chirag for almost 9 years now (together for almost 13 years). We have two toddlers. A 4.5 year old boy and 3 year old girl. I call them my almost twins! They def keep us on our toes.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.
I’m a Digital Marketer for a tech company, and my work involves personalization for our website. I manage a team of four that are offshore. I’m responsible for various project implementations for our B2B (Business to Business) customers. When I’m not at my 9 to 5, I run my blog at RushMeHome.com. I’m a company of one employee so far, me! I try my best to plan my content, but it’s not always easy when you’re a full time working mom. I try my best though! RushMeHome is a passion project of mine, so for me, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s something I love to do. 

3. Walk me through a day in your life.
Gosh! This is a hard question. For us, it’s different every day. I wake up around 6:30 and get the kids ready for school (breakfast, lunches, etc.). I get to work around 8:45 am and typically leave around 4:30-5:00. My mom duties start the minute I get home. I prep dinner, get the kids to eat, etc. After that, my husband typically washes the dishes while I clean up. We play with the kids, watch some TV with them as well and then my husband and I trade off putting the kids to bed every day. One day I’ll put one to bed and he puts the other and the next night we switch. That way we both get time with each kid. It works out pretty nicely for us.  

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?
I feel like becoming a mom has made me more patient at work and also more productive because I know once I get home I want to be with them instead of thinking about work. It’s hard sometimes, but I try my best. I think it’s also helped me want to do more and show them that you have to work hard for what you want.  

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?
To be quite honest, I don’t know if I have the best tip. I will say to try and separate the two when you get home. It’s easier said than done because we know in reality something may have gone wrong at work and you sometimes bring home those feelings. I think it’s trying your best to evolve and know that work will always be there. And when it’s family time, it’s family time.  

6. How do you handle mom guilt?
Mom guilt is hard. I remember when I first had my son and went through the baby blues. The first few months were hard. I didn’t want to leave the house because I felt like I was failing as a mom for other reasons such as not being able to breastfeed or the fact that somehow it was my fault he wouldn’t nap for more than 30 minutes at a time. But once I was out of that phase, I knew that for me to be away has helped me be a better mom. And since then, I’ve been better about mom guilt. I know that at the end of the day if I don’t get those breaks, it’s harder for me to be a happy mom to them. TAKE THE BREAK when needed.

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom?  And the most rewarding?
That it makes me a better mom honestly. I felt like because I was very maternal growing up that I would want to be a stay at home mom. And for me, that is actually not something I wanted to do. I realized I needed to be away at work and be my own person outside of being a mom. It’s a VERY personal decision for a mom to make whether or not she wants to work or stay at home. Both are hard no matter what. But for me, that was the most surprising. 

The most rewarding has been seeing little versions of me and my husband in them. The good and the bad, and that we have the ability to shape them to be the kind, caring humans beings I hope they become one day. 

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time?  What does ‘me’ time look like for you?  On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?
My husband and I make sure we have “me” time, especially because I naturally have a more anxiety driven personality. Whether it’s time away at Target or getting my nails done, I always make sure I take time for me.

My guilty pleasure is to literally eat nachos and watch the bachelor/bachelorette. I’m an OG fan of the show. Ha!

9. What’s your mama mantra?
Everything will work out the way its supposed to. And sometimes you have to let things go.  

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?
The best advice I received was that it’s ok if things don’t always get done at home. If you’re expecting to cross everything off your to-do list then you are setting the wrong expectation. You will always have an ongoing list and THAT IS OK. You work through it one at a time and do your best.  

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?
Honestly, I would say to take your time to ease back into it. Your whole world feels different, and it takes time to get back into a routine. Definitely give yourself some credit and take it one step at a time. You will figure out what works best for you and your family.

Thank you so much, Rashmi, for sharing your life and thoughts with us! You are a true inspiration, and I admire all that you’re doing – at home, at work, and with RushMeHome! What an example you are to your babies!

Authenticity in Motherhood (Blogging)

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Authenticity in motherhood – what a heavy topic.  But this is something that’s been on my mind for a while, so let’s just delve right in.

While I don’t share every single aspect of my life via this blog or on Instagram, whatever I do share is 100% real and 100% me.  Good, bad, whatever – you get what you see on MIS!

This is us.

Now, I have no way of knowing whether or not other people operate with the same mindset.  Maybe there are people out there who truly live the perfectly curated lives they depict.  Or maybe some people only choose to share the good stuff, which doesn’t mean the bad doesn’t exist. 

Whatever the case may be, you do you, boo!  I’m not here to judge.  We all have the right to tell our story however we please.

However, what I do take issue with is people creating fake online personas.  I’ve read countless articles about moms renting houses to capture the perfect picture or having their kids pose by the pool only to pack up and leave immediately afterwards.  One article I read even talked about how some moms create the ‘perfect mess’ to showcase. 

People have time to actually create messes!?

Again, you do you, boo.  But at least be honest about it.

I am no longer influenced by pictures of perfect moms with their perfect bodies and their perfect homes and their perfect kids.  I’m only half joking here!  What I’m trying to say is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one’s life is perfect despite what we may see online. 

But I think a lot more people are influenced by this so-called perfection than they let on.  Otherwise, how could mommy blogging be something like an $11 million industry?! 

No perfection here. Just a mama and her baby sitting in the lobby of their building because baby didn’t want to be in the apartment!

This is again one of those babbling posts, but the point I’m trying to make is this.  I wish, with my whole heart, that alongside some of those beautiful pictures, more people shared the whole truth – bloggers or not.  The truth about how motherhood is one of the most beautiful and raw journeys you will ever go on, and this means you are riding big waves for the rest of your life.  Some days/moments, you’ll be that experienced surfer who owns the wave she’s about the ride, and some days/moments, you’ll crash and go under.  But you’ll always rise, no matter what.  Because that’s how powerful motherhood is!

I think if we can get to a place of true authenticity, where we talk about the ups AND the downs and share our real homes and real messes (!!), more people (both moms and dads) will feel comfortable sharing their stories.  And if nothing else, less parents will feel alone. 

Thanks for reading!  Let me know what you think in the comments below or via IG or email (myinnershakti@gmail.com).  Clearly, this is a topic I’m super passionate about!

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