My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Weekly Dose of Gratitude and Joy [3]

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If you don’t already write down or take time out of your day to think about the things that bring you gratitude and joy, no matter how big or small, I highly recommend you do. It really does start to shift your perspective. And honestly, I now go through my day thinking about the different moments/people/things that sparked something positive in me.

POWERFUL STUFF!

Ok, now for this week’s slices of G+J…

FRIDAY

Kaiden was in the best mood when I picked him up from school. He didn’t fuss, he didn’t scream when I put him in the stroller, etc. He was genuinely in a good mood, and his happiness made me happy.

SATURDAY

We took Kaiden to his first (trial) soccer class. The experience didn’t go quite as expected, but it was still fun to watch Kaiden get excited over ALL the soccer balls!

Later in the day, we headed to dinner with my sister and BIL. Kaiden was in the BEST mood, even though we were still eating and talking at 7:30 pm (his bedtime). He went to bed a little later than usual, but I think to think these experiences are worth it. AND he ‘slept in’ until almost 7 am the next morning!

SUNDAY

Our friend Rohit and his fiance Lalitha came over for dinner. We haven’t seen Rohit in quite some time, and this was our first time meeting Lalitha. Kaiden immediately took to Ro and pretty much claimed him as his new bestie. After Kaiden went to sleep, we sat and talked for a little over an hour…so fun!

MONDAY

Vishnu came home earlier than expected (yay!). Because of that, we had an hour or so of playtime together as a family. At one point, Vishnu put his head in my lap. Kaiden came right over, pushed on his head until he lifted it up, and then proceeded to put his head in my lap. We couldn’t stop laughing! It’s truly the little things. 🙂

TUESDAY

‘This is Us’ Tuesday! WOO HOO! Even though the show sometimes makes me cry, I find so much joy in watching it. I’m deeply invested, if you can’t already tell! And this week’s episode didn’t disappoint.

WEDNESDAY

Vishnu flew home from Miami today (he was interviewing). Even though we don’t spend every waking minute together (far from it in fact), it’s comforting to know the person you love is close by. Welcome back, boo!

THURSDAY

I went to the office today (finally!). That in and of itself brought some joy. My coworkers and I also had our very belated Secret Santa gift exchange. Good times were had by all!

With that having a wonderful and joyful weekend!

Weekly Dose of Gratitude and Joy [2]

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Guys, leave it to me to start something for the blog and let it slip through the cracks!  Something I’m super excited about too.  Oops!  Better self-management in 2019, right?!

Anyways, I’m going to try and be more regular about these posts, as in get them up every Friday.  I strive to find the little daily things that give me big feelings of gratitude, and I want to share what I’m finding and learning in my life with the hope that it gives someone else the space to do the same.  In fact, I’m expanding this to include the things that bring me joy as well.  I think gratitude brings joy and joy brings gratitude.  They go hand in hand.  So while I’m thinking of one, I should be thinking of the other as well!

With that, here are the things that brought me gratitude and joy this week…

FRIDAY

We had no plans on Friday night, so Vishnu and I cozied up on the couch and watched TV together after K went down.  I even fell asleep for a bit (horrible sleep hygiene, but the best sleep ever!).

SATURDAY

We went to my friend Pankti’s house to hang out and have dinner with her, her husband and their little boy Arjun.  I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see K + A kinda sorta play together.  They were the cutest.  They even had this funny moment where Kaiden would put his hand out and Arjun would lean his face into it.  Then the two of them would giggle their faces off.  CUTEST THING EVER!  Thankfully, we caught a slice of it on video too.

SUNDAY

Sunday was a tiring day.  K and I were home alone the majority of the day, and he just wore me out.  BUT, he woke up from his afternoon nap saying, “Maaaa maaaa, maaaa maaaa.”  That little bit was enough to keep me going!

MONDAY

My friend and coworker Lamia and her husband came over for dinner, and K immediately took to Dusty.  I should mention he hasn’t seen him in over six months.  It was sooo cute, especially because Dusty isn’t the most comfortable around kids.  But Kaiden only wanted to be held by him…to the point where I was afraid he may have a hard time going to bed (he didn’t…thank goodness!).

TUESDAY

I went into the office after over a month.  The joy in this was not necessarily work (keeping it real!) but rather seeing all my coworkers and catching up. 

WEDNESDAY

Vishnu was in Michigan for an interview (he left on Tuesday night) and came home in the evening.  Our faces lit up upon hearing the door open.  Kaiden was excited to see his dada, and I was thrilled to see my baby daddy and have some bedtime help!

THURSDAY

My sister came over in the evening, and it was so nice to catch up with her and have an extra person around to play with Kaiden. As I like to say every time she visits, I wish she and Adarsh lived next door or at least in the same building. Oh well…I’ll take 3 miles away over nothing!

And those are a few of my gratitude and joy slices from the week! Wishing you a weekend full of both of these things. 🙂

If You Don’t Ask…

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…the answer is always no. As I (and Nora Roberts) like to say.

While the big lesson Vishnu wants to pass on to Kaiden is to never give up no matter how many times he may fall, mine is a little different. I want to teach him the value of asking for what he believes he deserves because if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Additionally, not asking leads to regret and what ifs, which are both hard to live with.

There’s no doubt Kaiden will hear me say this A LOT over the course of his life because I truly believe it and have benefited from asking these harder questions.

For example, I was the only person in my post-MBA job class to ask for an increase in base salary, and guess what…I got one. Nothing monumental, but something’s better than nothing.

A couple of years ago, I had a courageous conversation with my boss’s boss about my salary. I asked her if an increase to market value was possible, and guess what…not only did I get a major bump in salary, but I also got a promotion.

Don’t get me wrong. Money is not the most important driver. Possibility is. I know who have met the loves of the their lives because they dared to ask a stranger out. People who got cool opportunities when they weren’t the most qualified because they showed ambition and determination.

I also know people, myself included, who’ve asked the question and received a no in return. It’s not easy to hear, but at least you know versus wondering what could have been. The no is a lot easier to take when you think of it this way.

And this doesn’t just apply to major life situations. It applies to small every day things too. From restaurant requests to asking for samples at Sephora. 🙂

Don’t discount the power of asking for what you want. The worst thing anyone can say is no.

Perspectives

Two Parents, Same Situation, Different Perspectives

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I TRULY TRULY TRULY believe that you get what you see.  What I mean by this is if you use a negative lens to view a situation, it’s going to appear  negative to you.  If you use a positive lens, the situation will present itself in a more positive light.  Our thoughts and perceptions are so freaking powerful.

I know, I know.  It’s so easy to talk the talk when it comes to this stuff.  It’s much harder to walk the walk.  Especially when you’re involved in said situation (or I should say when your baby is the key player).

And I must admit, as much as I believe in ‘getting what you see,’ I sometimes defer to a less positive reaction to start.  I’m working on it though!

Case in point…

Last week we learned Kaiden’s transitioning to the older infant room at school at the end of the month.  He’ll have more space, more structure, school food (eventually), friends who are also very mobile, etc.  All good stuff, right?

Perspectives

When I opened the school folder and read the news, my very first thought was, “Oh man, Kaiden’s really going to miss his teachers.  My poor guy is going to be so sad.”

I’m 99.999% sure my initial thoughts stemmed from the fact that this is how I felt almost every year when moving up grades and switching teachers.  Goodbyes have never been easy for me.

Anyways, Vishnu’s reaction was the complete opposite of mine.  I texted him the news when we got home, and he said, “Woah!!!  Big news!  That’s good.  It’ll help him develop.”

His initial thoughts, if you ask me, probably come from the value he places on growth and adventure.

Two parents, same situation, different perspectives.

After meeting K’s new teachers and the school director, I’m now super excited about this transition as well.  K’s current teachers have been taking him to his new classroom for 30 minutes a day, and they tell us he loves it!  In fact, he cries when it’s time to leave.

Moral of this story – even though it’s hard (especially when our experiences condition us to think a certain way), always look for the positive spin.  The benefits of doing so are endless.  And your baby will thank you…kind of!

 

and so the adventure begins

2018 Mantra + Intentions

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Hello and happy 2018!  I can hardly believe the new year is upon us…but it is, and here we are!

Personally, I’m excited about this year and hopeful it will bring lots of adventure, growth, and joy into our lives (and the lives of others).  And if the past couple of days are any indication, it’s going to be a chaotic one.  For one, Kaiden starts daycare on Monday, so that in and of itself should be fun and…interesting!  Hoping he transitions well.  Aside from the day to day, we also have some fun travel plans on the horizon.  2018 is gearing up to be busy!

and so the adventure begins

2018 mantra

Speaking of chaotic, my 2018 mantra is to embrace the chaos.  This is what I plan to repeat to myself throughout the year when things get cray (good and bad).

I chose this mantra because despite my best efforts I’ve never been great at letting go of things out of my control and really staying present when life doesn’t go my way.  Instead, I tend to revert to stress and anxiety and snappiness.  No bueno!

Also, as a new mom, I really want to enjoy ALL aspects of motherhood because none of it lasts forever.  And despite how trying some parts of this journey are I want to embrace every single bit of it.  Of course, the good stuff is easy to enjoy.  The not so good…not so much!  I’m hoping this mantra will help make it somewhat easier.

So in 2018, I’m going to embrace the chaos when it comes to motherhood, work, and life in general.

2018 intentions

This year, instead of setting resolutions, I’m setting intentions.  For me the difference lies in how limiting resolutions are.  There’s no flexibility in how you apply your resolution.  You either do it or you don’t.  Intentions are a bit deeper and much more powerful.  They speak to a way of being.  I like that!

  1. Self-care – I intend to take better care of myself this year.  And I’m not talking about food and exercise.  For the most part, I think I have that part under control.  I’m talking about a deeper level of self-care.  I want to work harder on managing my stress levels and allowing others to help me as and when needed.  I’m not the best at asking for and accepting help, but I (and Vishnu) think it would help me manage my mental load a lot better.
  2. Use of time – I plan to be more intentional with how I use my time in 2018.  In the past 6 months, I haven’t been the best about using my time in a productive way that serves both what needs to happen and what I want to do.  For example, I haven’t read (and finished) a book in what feels like forever.  Not ok!  This intention should help reduce the stupid amount of time I spend on Instagram as well.  🙂
  3. Prayer and meditation – I’m a huge believer in the power of prayer.  And while I’m always taking a minute or two to pray throughout the day (mostly for what I’m grateful for), I want to create a more intentional prayer and meditation practice.  I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for years to meditate, but seeing how my focus this year is to embrace the chaos and take better care of myself, I’m going to make it happen!

I plan to check in about my mantra and intentions in a couple of months.  Wish me luck!

Your turn – Do you have a 2018 mantra? Did you set resolutions or intentions?  Tell me all about it.  I love this kind of stuff!

You have the prettiest eyebrows

You have the prettiest eyebrows!

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Imagine my surprise when the young girl behind the counter at the local pizza place told ME I have the “prettiest eyebrows.”You have the prettiest eyebrows

Let me set the scene.  My FIL and I set out to pick up lunch on Sunday.  I had just showered and pulled my hair into a bun (typical!).  No makeup AT ALL, dark circles galore, and skin that is way less than perfect right now.

I walked in ready to pay, grab the pizza, and walk right out.  Her comment took me by surprise.  So much so that I turned around to see who she was talking to.  I love me some pretty eyebrows!

When I realized she was talking to me, I laughed a little and said thanks.  What I wanted to say was, “Oh my goodness, are you crazy?!  These things?  They are far from pretty and not filled in at all, but thank you.  You made this very tired mama’s day!”

I guess I wasn’t ready to show my crazy that day!

When I got back in the car, I thought more about her comment and my immediate internal dialogue.  Here I was thinking I was showing up at my worst, not feeling pretty at all.  And here was this total stranger who saw something she liked in me.  My eyebrows at that!  Truth be told, they aren’t my favorite feature, but she honestly could’ve complimented anything and I would’ve reacted the same way.

All this goes to prove something I already know but tend to forget, especially when it comes to me, myself, and I.  What we see in the mirror is not a true reflection of who we are.  What I mean by this is that most of us tend to pick ourselves apart…physically and mentally.  We only see and focus on our so called flaws.  When others look at us, they tend to see and focus on the good.  Even total strangers!

I can’t tell you how many times I find myself in conversations with people where I say, “Are you kidding?  I love your _____.”  Or, “Really?  I never even noticed _____.”

From that very kind comment, here’s the message I ultimately walked away with – Be kind(er) to yourself.  Talk to yourself the way you would a friend or even a total stranger.  And maybe don’t stare at the mirror for too long! 🙂 

Happy holidays to YOU!

Enjoying and Appreciating the Slow Days

Enjoy and Appreciate the Slow Days

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While I drove home from my Sunday night grocery run, I reflected on the weekend and thought, “Saturday felt like a slow day, and I really liked it.”

What I mean by slow is that we took our time doing almost everything (getting up, getting ready, eating, etc.), and I remember everything about the day.  That hardly happens anymore.  It honestly felt like the ‘good old days.’ You know, the days when smart phones and the internet like it is now didn’t exist.  Days where you took your time and savored the moment.

Upon further reflection, I decided I want more slow days.  In fact, I want more slow days than fast ones.

Enjoying and Appreciating the Slow Days

This thought was solidified when I sat down on the couch next to Vishnu an hour or so later.  I was scrolling through Facebook (trust me, I see the irony in this) and came upon a heartbreaking story.  A story about a 37 year old mother who was driving home from the hospital where she was visiting her premature twins in the NICU.  A mother whose car was fatally sideswiped by another vehicle whose driver was possibly under the influence.  A mother who leaves behind six children and a husband.

I immediately started praying for this family as the tears rolled down my face.  I also couldn’t help but think about all of the other recent tragedies and how life just isn’t fair.  But I suppose we’ll never know why bad things happen to good people.

And while there’s nothing fair about losing someone you love way too soon, something we can do while our loved ones are still with us is enjoy and appreciate the slow days with them.  All this requires is to really be in the moment with those who matter most.  Physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Put your phone away.  Don’t think about work or your growing to do (or get to) list.  Listen, acknowledge, hug, kiss, smile, play, enjoy, appreciate, slow down, and LIVE!

Because we’ll never truly know what’s in store for us tomorrow, go ahead and enjoy and appreciate the slow days.  And while you’re at it, actively cultivate lots and lots of slow days.  Your future self will thank you.

I wish you a slow and happy Monday!

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