Inspirational Archives - My Inner Shakti

Two Parents, Same Situation, Different Perspectives

I TRULY TRULY TRULY believe that you get what you see. What I mean by this is if you use a negative lens to view a situation, it’s going to appear negative to you. If you use a positive lens, the situation will present itself in a more positive light. Our thoughts and perceptions are so freaking powerful.

I know, I know. It’s so easy to talk the talk when it comes to this stuff. It’s much harder to walk the walk. Especially when you’re involved in said situation (or I should say when your baby is the key player).

And I must admit, as much as I believe in ‘getting what you see,’ I sometimes defer to a less positive reaction to start. I’m working on it though!

Case in point…

Last week we learned Kaiden’s transitioning to the older infant room at school at the end of the month. He’ll have more space, more structure, school food (eventually), friends who are also very mobile, etc. All good stuff, right?

When I opened the school folder and read the news, my very first thought was, “Oh man, Kaiden’s really going to miss his teachers. My poor guy is going to be so sad.”

I’m 99.999% sure my initial thoughts stemmed from the fact that this is how I felt almost every year when moving up grades and switching teachers. Goodbyes have never been easy for me.

Anyways, Vishnu’s reaction was the complete opposite of mine. I texted him the news when we got home, and he said, “Woah!!! Big news! That’s good. It’ll help him develop.”

His initial thoughts, if you ask me, probably come from the value he places on growth and adventure.

Two parents, same situation, different perspectives.

After meeting K’s new teachers and the school director, I’m now super excited about this transition as well. K’s current teachers have been taking him to his new classroom for 30 minutes a day, and they tell us he loves it! In fact, he cries when it’s time to leave.

Moral of this story – even though it’s hard (especially when our experiences condition us to think a certain way), always look for the positive spin. The benefits of doing so are endless. And your baby will thank you…kind of!

2018 Mantra + Intentions

written by Parita 1 Comment

Hello and happy 2018! I can hardly believe the new year is upon us…but it is, and here we are!

Personally, I’m excited about this year and hopeful it will bring lots of adventure, growth, and joy into our lives (and the lives of others). And if the past couple of days are any indication, it’s going to be a chaotic one. For one, Kaiden starts daycare on Monday, so that in and of itself should be fun and…interesting! Hoping he transitions well. Aside from the day to day, we also have some fun travel plans on the horizon. 2018 is gearing up to be busy!

2018 mantra

Speaking of chaotic, my 2018 mantra is to embrace the chaos. This is what I plan to repeat to myself throughout the year when things get cray (good and bad).

I chose this mantra because despite my best efforts I’ve never been great at letting go of things out of my control and really staying present when life doesn’t go my way. Instead, I tend to revert to stress and anxiety and snappiness. No bueno!

Also, as a new mom, I really want to enjoy ALL aspects of motherhood because none of it lasts forever. And despite how trying some parts of this journey are I want to embrace every single bit of it. Of course, the good stuff is easy to enjoy. The not so good…not so much! I’m hoping this mantra will help make it somewhat easier.

So in 2018, I’m going to embrace the chaos when it comes to motherhood, work, and life in general.

2018 intentions

This year, instead of setting resolutions, I’m setting intentions. For me the difference lies in how limiting resolutions are. There’s no flexibility in how you apply your resolution. You either do it or you don’t. Intentions are a bit deeper and much more powerful. They speak to a way of being. I like that!

Self-care – I intend to take better care of myself this year. And I’m not talking about food and exercise. For the most part, I think I have that part under control. I’m talking about a deeper level of self-care. I want to work harder on managing my stress levels and allowing others to help me as and when needed. I’m not the best at asking for and accepting help, but I (and Vishnu) think it would help me manage my mental load a lot better.
Use of time – I plan to be more intentional with how I use my time in 2018. In the past 6 months, I haven’t been the best about using my time in a productive way that serves both what needs to happen and what I want to do. For example, I haven’t read (and finished) a book in what feels like forever. Not ok! This intention should help reduce the stupid amount of time I spend on Instagram as well. 🙂
Prayer and meditation – I’m a huge believer in the power of prayer. And while I’m always taking a minute or two to pray throughout the day (mostly for what I’m grateful for), I want to create a more intentional prayer and meditation practice. I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for years to meditate, but seeing how my focus this year is to embrace the chaos and take better care of myself, I’m going to make it happen!

I plan to check in about my mantra and intentions in a couple of months. Wish me luck!

Your turn – Do you have a 2018 mantra? Did you set resolutions or intentions? Tell me all about it. I love this kind of stuff!

You have the prettiest eyebrows!

written by Parita 2 Comments

Imagine my surprise when the young girl behind the counter at the local pizza place told ME I have the “prettiest eyebrows.”

Let me set the scene. My FIL and I set out to pick up lunch on Sunday. I had just showered and pulled my hair into a bun (typical!). No makeup AT ALL, dark circles galore, and skin that is way less than perfect right now.

I walked in ready to pay, grab the pizza, and walk right out. Her comment took me by surprise. So much so that I turned around to see who she was talking to. I love me some pretty eyebrows!

When I realized she was talking to me, I laughed a little and said thanks. What I wanted to say was, “Oh my goodness, are you crazy?! These things? They are far from pretty and not filled in at all, but thank you. You made this very tired mama’s day!”

I guess I wasn’t ready to show my crazy that day!

When I got back in the car, I thought more about her comment and my immediate internal dialogue. Here I was thinking I was showing up at my worst, not feeling pretty at all. And here was this total stranger who saw something she liked in me. My eyebrows at that! Truth be told, they aren’t my favorite feature, but she honestly could’ve complimented anything and I would’ve reacted the same way.

All this goes to prove something I already know but tend to forget, especially when it comes to me, myself, and I. What we see in the mirror is not a true reflection of who we are. What I mean by this is that most of us tend to pick ourselves apart…physically and mentally. We only see and focus on our so called flaws. When others look at us, they tend to see and focus on the good. Even total strangers!

I can’t tell you how many times I find myself in conversations with people where I say, “Are you kidding? I love your _____.” Or, “Really? I never even noticed _____.”

From that very kind comment, here’s the message I ultimately walked away with – Be kind(er) to yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would a friend or even a total stranger. And maybe don’t stare at the mirror for too long! 🙂

Happy holidays to YOU!

Enjoy and Appreciate the Slow Days

written by Parita 2 Comments

While I drove home from my Sunday night grocery run, I reflected on the weekend and thought, “Saturday felt like a slow day, and I really liked it.”

What I mean by slow is that we took our time doing almost everything (getting up, getting ready, eating, etc.), and I remember everything about the day. That hardly happens anymore. It honestly felt like the ‘good old days.’ You know, the days when smart phones and the internet like it is now didn’t exist. Days where you took your time and savored the moment.

Upon further reflection, I decided I want more slow days. In fact, I want more slow days than fast ones.

This thought was solidified when I sat down on the couch next to Vishnu an hour or so later. I was scrolling through Facebook (trust me, I see the irony in this) and came upon a heartbreaking story. A story about a 37 year old mother who was driving home from the hospital where she was visiting her premature twins in the NICU. A mother whose car was fatally sideswiped by another vehicle whose driver was possibly under the influence. A mother who leaves behind six children and a husband.

I immediately started praying for this family as the tears rolled down my face. I also couldn’t help but think about all of the other recent tragedies and how life just isn’t fair. But I suppose we’ll never know why bad things happen to good people.

And while there’s nothing fair about losing someone you love way too soon, something we can do while our loved ones are still with us is enjoy and appreciate the slow days with them. All this requires is to really be in the moment with those who matter most. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Put your phone away. Don’t think about work or your growing to do (or get to) list. Listen, acknowledge, hug, kiss, smile, play, enjoy, appreciate, slow down, and LIVE!

Because we’ll never truly know what’s in store for us tomorrow, go ahead and enjoy and appreciate the slow days. And while you’re at it, actively cultivate lots and lots of slow days. Your future self will thank you.

I wish you a slow and happy Monday!

A ‘Have To’ List vs. A ‘Get To’ List

written by Parita Leave a Comment

Like so many others, I spent most of yesterday in shock over the horrific mass shooting in Vegas. There are no words to adequately describe how sick to my stomach I felt as we watched the news in the morning and learned more about what happened.

Kaiden was positioned between me and Vishnu on the sofa, and as I looked at him, I couldn’t help but cry and think, “I’m so so sorry for this crazy world, kiddo. I promise we’ll do everything in our power to leave it a better place for you.”

Many people have expressed that prayers and thoughts are not enough in times like this. Times where policy change and a little stepping up on the part of our leaders and politicians could mean the difference between life and death. And while I will never stop praying for and sending positive thoughts to those who need them, I agree that action is the only way forward. Look, I get that the right to bear arms is just that…a right. But when one person’s right can ultimately cost someone else’s life, we need to rethink the entire system. I’m not an expert in the area of gun control laws by any means, but this, to me, isn’t about having all the facts. It’s about using commonsense. And at the end of the day, I’m just someone who wants to leave this world a better place than she found it.

Anyways, I’m looking into what I can personally do to help create change. Maybe it’ll make a difference, maybe it won’t. But I have to try. For Kaiden and all the other beautiful babies who deserve a bright and peaceful future.

One very easy thing all of us can do is contact our legislators. To make the process even easier, you can text ‘RESIST’ to 50409. Follow the instructions to send a personal and powerful message to those who have the opportunity to impact major reform. Enough is enough.

With everything that’s been going on in the world as of late, from natural disasters to the man made ones, I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of have to vs. get to. Let me explain.

I 100% acknowledge that I live a very privileged life. It’s not perfect by any means, but from a needs based perspective, I don’t have to worry about much. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, running water, electricity, etc. We are privileged and freaking lucky. I know this.

But then I go through my day thinking about all the things I have to do. I have to do the laundry, I have to make dinner, I have to pump, I have to pay the bills, I have to clean…and the list goes on and on.

When you think about it, for most of us, our ‘have to’ list is a really a ‘get to’ list because of our privilege.

Getting to do laundry means we have clean clothes on our backs.
Getting to make dinner means we have food on the table and full bellies.
Getting to pump means I can feed Kaiden breast milk.
Getting to pay bills means we have gas, electricity, internet, and TV services.
Getting to clean means we have a roof over our heads to keep clean.

There may very well be things on your list that you have to do because there’s no way around them. However, when you put the ‘get to’ spin on them, you’ll feel more grateful about even the most mundane of actions. Like laundry.

Look, I’m not saying it’s easy to live in a state of complete gratefulness day in and day out. But if you can tip the scale to be a little more ‘get to’ heavy, I’d say you’re doing pretty good. 🙂 In the midst of all the chaos, that’s what I’m working on.

Putting the Universe’s Words into Action

written by Parita 5 Comments

My long time readers know I’m a huge fan of Notes from the Universe. It’s been years since I first signed up to receive daily messages from the Universe and haven’t looked back once! While everyone who signs up receives the same messages, I find they come at exactly the perfect time for me. The Universe just knows!

I smiled big when I read the “Perception Management for Very Advanced Souls” note last week. I even shared the message on the MIS Facebook page. And then I thought, easier said than done!

Anyone else agree…?

I mean, I get it. If I could think these thoughts all day every day, I’d be the most peace-filled, zen person on Earth. However, when someone really pisses you off, it’s hard to think, “I love you!” HA!

Well, my sister and I had the opportunity to put these words into action on Friday, and I can now say [when you remember to think these thoughts] they actually work.

Situation: We were driving home from the Honda dealership on Friday afternoon, and someone ran a stop sign (like a bat out of hell). My gut reaction was to yell, “WTF!” But before I could, my sister, who saw my Facebook post, said, “Be careful, friend. We love you.” I looked at her, laughed, and said, “Yes, we love you and forgive you. Just be careful next time.” And then we laughed and laughed some more. More than anything, saying those words out loud, took a very frustrating situation and alleviated it a bit. And who knows, maybe next time our little bat out of hell will think twice before blowing through a stop sign. You know, because we sent so much love his way!

I’m going to try and keep these thoughts at the forefront of my mind this week, as I’m sure I’ll come across a few more ‘WTF’ situations. My goal is to replace my angry thoughts with more loving ones. No easy feat for me, I’ll tell you that! Expect an update in this week’s Friday Favorites post.

With that, I hope each of you has a peaceful week full of loving thoughts. Love you, my friends (never too early to start, right?)!

Restoring My Faith in Humanity

written by Parita 10 Comments

You guys, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. There are days where I hear/read the news and have a visceral reaction. And let’s be real, as of late, it’s every day.

The recent increase in hate crimes against Indians are what have my blood boiling right now. The stories I read make me so angry/sad/worried/etc. I literally sobbed at my desk while reading Sunayana Dumala’s, wife of Srinivas Kuchibhotla who was killed at a Kansas City bar, heartbreaking Facebook post.

I hate to say this, but my faith in humanity slips away with every single incident like this one (and so many others). It sounds a little ridiculous, given how many more amazing humans there are inhibiting this Earth (like Ian Grillot who stood up for the two Indian men in Kansas City), but I can’t help it.

To help counter this not so positive way of thinking, I find myself scanning my environment every chance I get looking for glimpses of good, kindhearted people. The gentleman who held the door for the elderly lady the other morning, the lady who let me cut in front of her as I exited the parking lot (she even waved and smiled at me!), our doormen who ALWAYS greet us with smiles on their faces, etc. There is all kinds of goodness all around us…we just have to look for it.

In fact, I was able to experience firsthand how good people can be. And with that experience, my faith in humanity was restored to a degree…

Vishnu and I met up with his med school friend for dinner on Saturday night. The restaurant is walking distance away, but we decided to take a Lyft because of the weather. We got to the restaurant, chatted, ate dinner, and got ready to pay our bill. While asking Vishnu if he wanted me to use my credit card, I pulled my purse into my lap and saw that my wallet was no where to be found. “Weird. I must of left it at home,” I thought.

Fast forward to us arriving home (2 hours later). I couldn’t get my ‘missing’ wallet out of my mind, so Vishnu and I searched high and low for about 15 minutes before reconvening in the living room. “My wallet must have fell out of my purse in the Lyft we took to the restaurant,” I said to Vishnu. He immediately took my phone and found the driver’s number. I called Alvin (the world’s best Lyft driver!), and the first thing he said to me was, “I have your wallet. A couple of riders after you found it. I can bring it by your place after I finish up this last ride.” “THANK YOU, ALVIN!,” I screamed.

And as promised, Alvin showed up at our place a little after 11:30 with my wallet in hand (and 100% in tact…nothing was missing). I gave him cash, thanked him at least five times, called him my angel (ha!), and said good-bye. A very relieved and tired Parita made her way upstairs. As I laid in bed that night, I thought about how easy it would’ve been for Alvin to ignore my phone calls or take my cash. But he didn’t. He went out of his way to ensure I got my wallet that very night.

I know this incident doesn’t even compare to the gut-wrenching things people are experiencing right now, but connecting with people like Alvin helps me realize that on a grander scale we will overcome the craziness that lies ahead. That somehow, even when terrible things happen, people will come together and help one another.

I guess this post was just a long way of saying…thank you, Alvin, for restoring my faith in humanity and it’s inherent goodness!