My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

10 True Things About the Second Year of Motherhood

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The second year of mother is quite different than year 1. For one, you have a mobile baby who can get from point A to point B in literally 5 seconds flat. If that’s not enough of a game changer, now you’re baby eats real food way more regularly, starts talking up a storm, and is also developing emotionally. I think they call the output of that tantrums… 🙂

Anyways, personally, I found the second year of motherhood a tad bit easier than year 1. This had less to do with K than it had to do with me and the kind of person I am.

Regardless, there are some (universal…at least to me) truths about the second year of motherhood I wanted to share.

In no particular order…

  • As your baby grows, so does your love.  You’ll never know exactly how, but day by day, you’ll love this little person more than you ever thought possible.
  • You’re not as uncertain as you were during year 1, but that ‘what am I doing?’ feeling still lingers.
  • When you look back, you’ll be shocked by how fast year 2 goes.
  • You realize you’ll never completely feel like your old self and that’s ok.  When you had your baby, a new you emerged, and she’s cooler than pre-baby you!  At least that’s what I tell myself.
  • Sleep, or good consistent sleep, may still elude you.  Those regressions are something!  Also, I still wake up a few times a night because I think I hear Kaiden crying. 
  • Hearing your kid’s voice on the daily, actually saying words, never gets old!
  • You will have lots and lots of days where the countdown to bedtime starts at 10 am.
  • You’ll learn to pick your battles a lot sooner and quicker.  Otherwise, everything will turn into a battle!
  • As much as you try, mom guilt won’t totally escape you. It may look a little different from year 1, and if you’re lucky, it’ll be a bit more infrequent, but it’s still there.  And that’s ok. The way I look at it, mom guilt just means you care! 
  • You get so many unsolicited kisses and hugs.  They are undoubtedly the best things ever!

It’ll be an interesting transition from 2 to 3. I hear it’s just as intense, if not more, because they learn how to negotiate. We shall see!

Present FULL Mama Talks About Being a Social Media Inbetweener

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Hello!  I’m cross-posting with the beautiful Present FULL Mama today. We’re talking about being inbetweeners in the social media world. Wondering what that is? Well, read on and also give Archana a follow on Instagram!

Also, if you’re interested in reading my thoughts about the topic, check out Archana’s blog.

Ok, take it away, A…

I chose to be an inbetweener because there’s no pressure to be anyone but me. I trust the process of growing my following organically and feel blessed that I have the option, as influencing is not a source of income for me.

I got started in social media when I chose to be a stay at home mom for 8 months, when my second child was about ` years old. I know not the typical time one decides to stop working, but I really wanted to be present in a different way for my children. Simultaneously, I really craved a way to connect with the world in a supportive nature. Let’s be real- as much as I wanted to support others, I needed that support through finding connection with others. Plus, I thought it could be fun to share my process of becoming a licensed therapist as a woman of color and a mother because there ain’t nothing like real life to put theories to a test, am I right? . 

My main message through the social media world is around authenticity. Of course, there are textbooks and countless amounts of material to share how you can live a more authentic life, but I wanted to honor that process and show how it’s not a linear one. Each one of us has a unique story and each one of us deserve to have our own process, and for me that includes the love for the arts, spirituality, embracing the badass woman power and all that it entails – so yes that means my feed will contain the raw messy photos along with the creative staged ones because both versions are sides of me. And through sharing this, maybe others will try on to be present, real, and authentic while living a conscious life. Start where you are, come as you are as I always say.

More often than not, I love to share about mental wellness through an integrative lens and share the tools that I have been formally and currently trained in that I truly value. That is, you can guarantee I apply such interventions in the therapy room and personally. Oh but another thing about me- I am no expert on your life. Nope, you’ve got the answers within you for you- trust that.

In terms of making time for all this, I feel blessed to be able to work part-time and stay fulfilled that way.  It’s a juggling act and a skill I’m trying to hone, because my ego will play games with me, inviting me to the motherhood battlefield of guilt. Some weeks, I’m better at posting, some weeks not so much. But I share what feels right and I always ask myself, “Does this bring me joy or satisfy my creative juices?” And when it does, I post.

If you end up following me, you should know that I’m an open book.  I thrive on vulnerability and authenticity because I’m addicted to internal growth, and just perhaps I inspire someone in the process. 

What else is there to know about me? Well, I’m having another baby? =)

Okay but if you want to be an inbetweener too, just be you and put yourself out there. If you believe in your message, it will shine, and others will see it. Be real. Try not to attach your self-worth to how many followers or likes you have. Ask yourself, “When I reach a certain number of followers, what will that achieve for me?”  Another suggestion, blog for you, not for anyone else, even if that means no one reads it or likes it or comments. Do it for you and chances are you will feel deeply satisfied.

Thank you, Archana, for this fun collaboration. I loved reading your perspective and am so thankful to have you as a fellow inbetweener with me on this crazy social media journey!

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High 5 on a Friday!

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I really expected this week to drag a little, especially because Vishnu’s on nights and I really don’t enjoy this schedule.  For some reason, him being on nights makes me feel unproductive and lazy.  I usually sit on the couch after putting Kaiden down and watch Friends, only to fall asleep on the couch by 9 pm.  This time around though, I’ve been semi-productive.  I think the ‘falling asleep on the couch’ thing only happened once.  Look at me grow!

Anyways, with that, let’s move on to the five random things I want to share this week


ONE – My youngest cousin on my mom’s side started college this week.  I was talking to my masi (aunt) about it and how they’re doing, and something she said really hit me hard.  She said, “Parita, I know everyone tells you this, but trust me, the time goes SO fast.  I can’t believe Milan is 18 and starting college.  I miss the days where I could just hold and kiss him whenever I wanted to.  It’s like I blinked, and he grew up.” 

Of course, that got me thinking about how K only has 16 years left with us at home before he goes off into the world.  I know 16 years is a long time, but if you think about what you were doing 16 years ago, I’m sure you’ll feel like it was yesterday to some degree.  Crazy! 

TWO – We have quite a bit of travel coming up in September – December.  I’m trying not to think about it too much, because when I do, I get really overwhelmed.  Here’s a little rundown


  • September – Vishnu in Germany for bachelor party
  • October – Cabo with the fam and London for work
  • November – Bahamas for a wedding.  Vishnu in Austin for a race.
  • December – London for work and Atlanta for holidays (hopefully!)

So grateful for all of these opportunities and to take Kaiden on some fun adventures.  It just feels like it’s happening all at once!  Woooo sahhhhh!

THREE – I did a ‘ask me anything’ type thing on my Instagram stories this week, and whenever I even contemplate doing something like that, I get nervous.  The thoughts that run through my head are – who cares, what will people think, who am I to do something like this, etc.  So silly given that I’m doing it for fun, but those thoughts come up every now and then.  A lot of the questions I got this time around were about being a new blogger, etc.  I think it’s easy to say that you shouldn’t care about what other think, but it’s a lot harder to conquer that fear.  I’m no exception.  But once you do, it’s amazing.  I got a handful of really good questions and loved answering them.  Even better was all the engagement after I posted.  So many fun DM convos!

This is all to say that if you have an idea, and it brings you joy, just do it!  You won’t ever know what YOU’RE capable of if you only think about what others think you’re capable of.  Prove them wrong (or right!).

FOUR

Since K turned two, I’ve started saying nightly prayers with him.  So when we enter his room for bedtime, I say, “Let’s say our prayers together.”  And he nods yes or says ‘yeah.’  Then we go on to pray for the world, our individual family members, and friends/family that need special/more specific prayers.  Then I sing a specific prayer song I really love.  Before putting him down, I always sing the first couple of lines from “You are my sunshine.”  I’ve been doing this since he was a little baby!  Well, for some reason, K starts giggling like a madman when I do this, which makes me laugh too.  It’s the best!  Probably not for getting him to sleep right away, but his giggles always make my night! 

As much as I want to pull my hair out sometimes, I really do love this age and the antics that comes with it!

FIVE

For those of you thinking about making a purchase or two during the Sephora summer sale, I thought I’d share a few of my favorites. 

  • My Drunk Elephant picks are all listed in this post.  I cannot tell you guys how much I love this brand and what it’s done for my skin.  My BIL’s girlfriend who was just here less than a month ago told me my skin has transformed.  It’s still not perfect, but she said it looks so much smoother.

    If you’re a newbie to DE, I highly recommend starting with the Littles kit, figuring out which products really work for your skin and purchasing full size bottles accordingly.

    The thing is DE is worth every penny, but it truly costs A LOT of pennies!
  • I’ve fallen in love with this Hourglass Ambient Lighting powder again (I use the shade Dim Light).  I used it all the time before having K and even afterwards but stopped using it when my skin started acting up last year and early this year.  Well, I’m bringing it back into my routine because I love how it adds the right amount of color to my skin as well as a slight glow (without the grease).  If you’re looking for a good setting powder, I would say this one is pretty perfect.  
  • And finally, if you need a good eyeshadow recommendation, I would check out Tarte.  I have a smaller palette from the brand with six shades, and I love it!  The formula is so buttery and it really doesn’t crease much at all throughout the day.  And the different palettes/colors are gorgeous.

Well, folks, that’s all I have today!  Until next week


Have a wonderful weekend!

Time at Home + Q&A with Ba and Dada

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We are back in Chicago after a fun week in Atlanta where we spent time with my parents, my grandparents, my in-laws, and my brother-in-law and his girlfriend.  We also got to squeeze in a little friend time here and there.

We also attended my best friend’s baby showers, both of which were so special and fun.  Well, the official shower on Saturday was not so fun for me because Kaiden was being a stage 11 clinger.  But it was nice to see so many old friends. 

We played, we ate, we slept (!!), and now we’re back to the grind!

One of the other things I made time for was ‘deep’ conversations with my grandparents.  I wanted to take advantage of the one-on-one time I had with them to ask questions about their childhoods, their families, the marriage, motherhood, fatherhood, etc.

To be honest, I think they had more fun with this than anyone else.  Their faces lit up whenever I’d ask a question.  Makes me wish I had started doing this sooner!

I thought I’d share some of the more interesting things I learned.  And hopefully, this inspires some of you to do the same with your grandparents/older aunts and uncles. 

My grandmother’s overall message was that when you get to be her age you won’t remember the hard times. Only the love and fun you experienced.  And this is coming from someone who’s had her share of not-so-good times.  She said she honestly doesn’t remember the bad times in detail because she chooses not to focus on that.  “At this age, what good does that do me?”  Love my ba!

Growing up, neither my grandfather or my grandmother lived lavish lives.  There was always one person in the family who worked and brought home money to take care of everyone else.  My grandfather is one of 13, and my grandmother is one of five.  However, cousins and other relatives often lived with them too.  Essentially, the money coming in had to be stretched to feed everyone.  In fact, my grandfather recalled the days where they studied by candlelight.  Electricity was a want and not a need in those days!

With that being said, I also learned that ba’s father worked in a fabric mill, and my dada’s father owned a small restaurant in their village.

My ba loved to study, but when it came time to further her education, the decision was made for her that she would stay home to help with the upkeep of the house.  Personally, I found this to be really sad because I know how smart my grandmother is.  She could’ve done so much if she was born in a different time.  I also know from previous conversations with my mom that my ba also wishes they had travelled more.  She wanted to see the world, and while they have been to London and different parts of the US, she knows there’s more than just that and wishes she could’ve experienced it. 

In that same vein, my grandparents had an arranged marriage.  They were introduced through an uncle or something, and while it wasn’t love at first sight, I think they both same something in the other which led them to agree to the union.  My ba did say that she didn’t feel like she really could’ve said no if she wanted to because of the way the introduction was made.  Again, it makes me so mad that women in that time had so little control over their own lives.  GRR!

Even though there is some regret for the things not done, I think my grandparents have had a pretty good marriage.  Their marriage advice to me was to compromise and approach my marriage with understanding and patience.  If you can do that, you’ll be ok.

They also said to always live within your means.  And finally, don’t ruminate on your past because you can’t change it.  You can really influence what’s happening right now.

So thankful for the time I spent with ba and dada and can’t wait to see them again so that I can bombard them with more questions!

Tips/Tricks for Flying with a Two-Year-Old

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Flying with Kaiden up until now has been fairly easy.  I say fairly because of course we’ve had our shares of ups and down.  But this is how it usually went– get on plane, let him crawl around and play with whatever, K passes out in my arms as soon as plane takes off.  See, fairly easy.

So you can imagine how nervous I was flying with him for the first time since he turned two.  Why nervous?  Because after kids turn two, they get their own seat.  And my Kaiden isn’t one to sit for prolonged periods of time.

Thankfully, the flight time from Chicago to Atlanta is only about 1.5 hours.  A good testing ground I suppose.

Given this was my first time flying with a two-year-old, I’m certainly no expert.  But here are a few tricks/tips that worked for me. 

TIP/TRICK  1 – Now that Kaiden understands what we’re saying, I tried my best to hype up our ‘airplane’ trip a few days before we left.  That excitement helped us get through security, to the gate, and on to the plane. 

TIP/TRICK 2 – One word – snacks
and lots of them.  I brought so many snacks, including apples, a PB&J sandwich, cereal, freeze dried fruits and veggies, etc.  He didn’t eat much of it, but I did have peace of mind knowing I was prepared.

TIP/TRICK 3 – Don’t be afraid to ask for and/or accept help.  For example, when we were standing in line to board, the man in front of me asked if I wanted him to carry our stroller on to the jet bridge.  He carried it out for me as well.  I could’ve easily said no and looked like a crazy woman trying to wrangle her toddler, carry two bags and a stroller. No thanks!  Example number two happened when Kaiden wouldn’t sit in his seat.  I quietly asked the kind man sitting next to me to tell K to sit down and put on the seatbelt.  At first, he was like, “You want me to tell him that?”  And I said, “Yes, please.”  He did it and guess what
K sat down and let me put his belt on!  

TIP/TRICK 4 – The things that saved me this time around in terms of toys/activities were the Crayola Color Wonder Markers and Paper.  This kept Kaiden entertained in some form or fashion for longer spurts.  And because these markers only work on the special paper, they didn’t transfer on to the seats, our skin, our clothes, etc. 

I also brought two brand new little trucks and a pack of stickers for K as ‘surprise, be good now!’ treats.  They entertained him for a little bit.  Ha!

TIP/TRICK 5 – Forget about everyone else and do what you have to do.  Flying, in my mind, is grounds for going into survival mode.   Anything and everything goes.

That’s all I have in terms of tips/tricks.  I’m hoping to build my toolkit as we travel more with K.  We have our trip back home to Chicago on Sunday, as well as a trip to Cabo and the Bahamas coming up.  Cross your fingers for us!

I will say that Kaiden did relatively well for most of the flight, excluding the last 20 minutes.  He was pretty much over it at that point and wanted to sit in my lap.  I sang him songs and distracted him as much as I could, but boy, those 20 minutes felt like 2 hours!

Please share your best tips/tricks for travelling with kids!

Weekend Rehash – Home Sweet Atlanta!

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As I’m typing this post, I’m sitting at my parents house with my laptop in my lap and my feet propped up. It feels good to be home!

Is it just me or do you guys also feel a little more dependent when you go home? Like I run the show in some ways in Chicago, but when I’m home, I ask my mom for her opinion about every little decision.

Anyways, we’ve had a great start to our visit. Lots of outdoor play and delicious food.

Let’s backtrack a little and rehash the weekend!

FRIDAY

I know I sound like a broken record, but Friday started off in the usual way. As soon as Vishnu and Kaiden left for school and work, I headed down to our apartment gym for a quick workout. I then made my way to Trader Joe’s and Target.

As soon as I put everything away, I got a message from my sister giving me the green light to pick her up at Carmax. There’s a bit of a backstory to all of this…instead of retyping it all here, I’m going to direct you to today’s post on Instagram. So many emotions!

And here’s to my sister and BIL buying their first car together!

I quickly got my act together upon getting home and made food for the week for Vishnu – lasagna, My Heart Beet’s Butter Chicken, and rice. All set for the week!

I also packed on and off throughout the day. As I was putting things in our bag, I thought about unpacking and audibly groaned. Ugh!

The rest of the day/night followed the usual flow – playtime, dinner, bath time, reading/getting K to calm down, bed time, and a little downtime with Vishnu.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning started at 6 am because we wanted to be out the door and on our way to the airport at 7:45. Thankfully, we managed to do just that.

I plan to share my tips and tricks for travelling with a two year old (when toddlers get their own seats) in a separate blog post, but let’s just say our <2 hour flight had plenty of ups and downs. The downs mostly revolved around the fact that K wanted to sit in my lap vs. in his own seat. Not great when the seat belt sign is on.

Anyways, we eventually made it out of the plane, on the train, up the elevator and to my parents who were happily waiting for us. Then came the one hour drive home. Haha!

By the time we got home, I was so tired. I fell asleep on the living room floor! My mom woke me up in time for my pedicure appointment. #muchneeded

The rest of the evening included badminton in the backyard and Zheel’s delicious Spinach Dhokla that my mom and ba whipped up. A must try recipe if you’re a dhokla fan (and even if you’re not!).

SUNDAY

Kaiden was up and ready to go at 7:30 (YAY!!!). We played and hung out on the shaded part of my parent’s patio until my in-laws arrived. They came to spend the day with Kaiden.

Sunday can be summed up in one word – FUN and lots of it. With all four of his grandparents present (plus his great grandparents), Kaiden was getting spoiled from all sides. He danced, played, ran around, kicked balls, took a 1.5 hour nap…rinse and repeat!

Here’s to an even better week ahead! Happy Monday. 🙂

Weekend Rehash – Family Time

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What an awesome weekend! Like I mentioned in Friday’s post, Niel and Neelam, my BIL and his girlfriend, visited, and we had a blast.

Let’s start from the beginning…

FRIDAY

Friday started off with the usual routine – drop K off at school, work out, Trader Joe’s run.

But then for 1.5 hours, I deviated from the norm and met up a blog reader and new friend, Mira. We met up for a coffee and probably could’ve chatted for another hour. We talked about everything from new motherhood to mom guilt to making mom friends to everything in between. It was such a refreshing meet-up because we were on the same wave length about so much. I’m so happy we made the time to meet. Here’s to next time and more authentic friendships.

I spent the rest of my afternoon cleaning and prepping dinner (lasagna!). Vishnu got home a little earlier than normal, so we hung out before it was time to get Kaiden and before N&N arrived.

The rest of the evening was spent eating, playing, and talking. Even I went to bed a lot later than usual!

SATURDAY

Saturday morning started with made from scratch pancakes (sharing the recipe soon).

We then got ready and headed to the post office to submit an application for K’s passport. He’s doing some international travel later this year!

After finishing up there, we got some coffee, walked around the River Walk, and then headed to Sienna Tavern for brunch (so yum!).

Kaiden fell asleep on the walk home for like five minutes which obviously means he didn’t have to nap at all the rest of the day. Grrrr…

It all worked out because we rented a boat for the afternoon with Niel, Neelam, my sister and my BIL, so while K was tired, he still rallied. If you’re ever in Chicago, I highly recommend renting a pontoon boat and heading out on the river. And guess who captained our boat?! ME! My sister took over towards the end because my back hurt, but it was a ton of fun!

We planned on playing some games after K went to bed, but our Door Dash order never showed after 1.5 hours, so the evening went a little south in terms of that. Still a fun day overall!

SUNDAY

Vishnu and N&N took Kaiden to the park in the morning so I could clean, cook, and have some alone time.

Luckily, Kaiden took a 2.5 hour nap which means the rest of us did as well. This mama was tired!

We then scratched our afternoon plans to visit the beach and headed out to get some gelato instead. Perfect idea on a hot Chicago day!

And now we start a new week with new adventures! Happy Monday, y’all.

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