Parita - 2/172 - My Inner Shakti

Why We Chose to Send Our Son to Daycare

Since starting Kaiden in daycare at 6 months old, I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why we went down that path, why we didn’t go with a nanny, how we survived the daycare germs, etc.

It’s been 1.5 years since that time, so I thought I’d share our experience and insights for anyone who also ‘struggled’ with the question of which childcare option to choose.

NOTE: I’m starting and ending this post with the same sentiment – this is not a daycare vs. all other childcare options post. This is simply about our experiences to date!

The Beginning

When Vishnu and I moved to Chicago in June 2016, we weren’t pregnant, and although we were trying, childcare honestly wasn’t something we were thinking about at the time. So when it came time to choose a place to live, we picked the building we did for lots of different reasons but not because there was a good daycare nearby.

Fast forward to three months into my pregnancy. We went to visit my friend Erin and her new baby at the time. Vishnu and her husband were chatting when Shahan asked V about our childcare plans. He mentioned that the city daycares have waiting lists (sometimes a year or longer). On our way home, Vishnu told me about this convo and how we needed to get on it quickly.

Within a week, we had appointments at all the daycares in area. Luckily, the one we absolutely loved had an opening for January 2018 in the young infant room. AND it ended up being the closest option in terms of proximity to our apartment.

Why Not a Nanny

So K’s school is four blocks from where we live. It’s on the way to both the train for Vishnu and downtown for me. We are VERY lucky that we can just walk him there so easily.

We honestly didn’t consider a nanny because (at the time) we didn’t feel comfortable leaving K home with someone who would essentially be a total stranger. Of course, we know get that you interview people and all that, but at the time, it wasn’t something we wanted to do given the school was so close to us. Vishnu was also really adamant about daycare for the social aspect. We wanted K to be around other kids from a younger age. K’s school also does music class, yoga and lots of other fun learning activities. Not all nanny’s are former educators, so we definitely took this into consideration. We also loved the fact that K could attend the same school all the way to pre-K if needed.

And finally, from a logistical standpoint, we live in a small apartment, where my ‘office’ is a small corner between the kitchen and the living area. I work from home a lot. If we had a nanny, I would have to go to the office every day or find another workspace. Vishnu’s schedule also varies sometimes. So given the lack of consistency, daycare felt like a good choice for us.

Surviving the Daycare Germs

When I talk to friends who are considering putting their kid in daycare, the first question that inevitably comes up is, “Are the germs that bad?” I’m here to tell you that they are in fact HORRIBLE!

Not to scare anyone, but within the first week of Kaiden starting school, he had a nasty stomach bug that literally took me and Vishnu down too.

Let’s put it this way. 2018 was hell in terms of K being sick. We (sometimes it really was the collective we) experienced everything from colds to stomach bugs to hand foot mouth to Roseola to ear infections to random fevers.

BUT…the plus side to all of that is K’s immune systems is definitely stronger now. 2019 has been pretty good to us so far. He’s only had two random fevers that went away in a couple of days. He’s also had a runny nose here and there but that too goes away fairly quickly.

From what I’ve been told (by other daycare parents) is that while the first 12-18 months are rough, your kids are so much less likely to get sick when they enter pre-K and beyond. FINGERS CROSSED!

The bottom line is if you put your kid in daycare expect them to be sick for a while. And once you’re past that, relish in it!

Daycare Costs

Daycare, especially where we send K, is expensive. It’s essentially rent 2.0 for us. However, this is the place we wanted, so we sucked it up.

In terms of the comparison between a nanny and daycare, daycare still works out to be cheaper in Chicago, even when using the lowest hourly rate.

What I Would Have Done Differently Knowing What I Know Now

Well, for starters, I wish I could’ve taken off a whole year to be with K. But that wasn’t possible. I got 16 weeks of maternity leave and then my dad came to watch K for a couple of months to close the gap. My dad did offer to stay with us until Kaiden turned one, but we told him it was ok. I didn’t want to take him away from my mom for so long!

I don’t know what Vishnu would say, but in all honesty, I wish we had waited until K was one to start daycare. Looking back, six months feels a little too young. But we did what we did with the information and knowledge we had on hand at the time. #noregrets

How Kaiden is Doing in Daycare Now

Kaiden adjusted quite well to daycare from the beginning. The only time he has trouble is when he transitions to a new classroom. Other than that, he loves school. Right now, I think yoga Tuesday is his favorite.

I think you’ll hear this from a lot of daycare parents, but kids are so different when they’re there versus at home. K eats the majority of his food at school (even things he won’t touch at home). He naps for the full two hours, which as you guys know, is hit or miss at home. It’s honestly great!

Well, I think that covers the question of why we chose to send K to daycare. Like I said, this was not meant to be a daycare vs. all other options type of posts. I do think it gets a bad rep sometimes, so I want to give parents-to-be and new parents some sense of relief that you’re not bad parents for sending your kid to daycare! Any option that works for you and your child is a GREAT ONE!

If I missed anything or if you have any additional questions, leave a comment below or send me an email!

Weekend Rehash – A Few Fun Things

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I try not to live for weekends, but sometimes it’s hard when that’s the only real time you have to break out of your routine and do fun things. Especially when you have a two year old who lives for fun!

With that being said, while it was a good week around here, our weekend was even better. Nothing crazy but definitely fun!

FRIDAY

The first half of my day was pretty much standard and routine – Trader Joe’s, work out, meal prep, laundry, cleaning etc.

Around 4 pm, I got a text from my sister asking if we wanted to go to their place for dinner. Vishnu was down, so I picked Kaiden up a little early and headed to my sister’s place.

We had tacos and brownie cookies! Kaiden was sad to leave his masa and masi (uncle and aunt) but pretty much passed out as soon as we got home!

My sister makes a delicious avocado/tomato/garlic salad – the perfect taco topping!

SATURDAY

Vishnu worked a 24 hour shift from Saturday morning to Sunday morning, so it was just me and K. Overall, it was a good day.

The play date with his daycare bestie ended up being at the Children’s Museum, so I invited my friend Pankti so K could see his other bestie, Arjun, too! The boys had so much fun. A small glimpse into what it would be like to have triplets…#nothanks!

Kaiden ran around from 9-11:30, so his nap ended up being a little longer than expected…by about an hour to be exact. He slept in his crib from 1-2, and then woke up and wouldn’t stop crying, so I rocked him until he pointed to the bed in his room. We both laid down and about 2 hours later…we woke up. Oops!

This threw the rest of the day off a little with food and bedtime, but we made it work. I guess he just needed the rest…

After K finally went down, I showered, cleaned up, and settled in for some Big Bang Theory reruns.

Crazy night!

SUNDAY

Sunday started with a post-breakfast park visit. Vishnu came home around 7:30, and because he needed to sleep, I decided to get K out of the house. Also, the weather was radically different (in a good way) from the day before, so I thought we should make use of it while we can!

The park was the emptiest I’ve seen it to date. So perfect! K got to ride his favorite green swing and go down his favorite big slide without having to wait for others to finish.

We made a quick Starbucks run before heading home, as it looked like it was about to downpour at any minute.

The rest of the day was spent playing and trying to stay quiet while Vishnu napped. We probably weren’t as successful as he would have liked but I tried!

Once Vishnu was up, I tried to do a Barre3 workout in our living room. A fun fail on so many levels! V and K wanted to join me for some of the moves (our living room in small). Also, when I was doing squats, K thought it would be fun to crawl under my legs and sometimes just stay there (not fun!). And finally, about half way through, Kaiden decided to turn off the computer connected to our TV, which shut down my workout. I threw in my towel and went to take a shower!

My sister and Adarsh came over around dinnertime and stayed to watch the BLL season finale! I’ll share more of my thoughts in this Friday’s High 5 post!

And that was our weekend in a nutshell. 🙂

High 5 on a Friday!

written by Parita 3 Comments

This week has both creeped along and flown by. The day to to day felt slow, but when I look back, I’m like ‘wait, wasn’t it just Monday yesterday?’ Funny how that works!

In other news, I’m going to attempt a new Friday series on MIS. I say attempt because sometimes it’s just that and my idea doesn’t stick. But I think this one will for a few reasons. The main one being that this will give me an outlet for my random updates and thoughts from the week.

Setting the bar low but hoping I keep up with this semi-regularly! We shall see…

ONE – Let’s talk about Big Little Lies. I’ve been loving season 2 even though it’s gotten mixed reviews by critics and others. I don’t know. I love all the character flaws and the fallout from season 1. The finale looks promising. Fingers crossed! Do you watch? Thoughts?

TWO – Have you used the Face App to make yourself look older? Vishnu and I had a little fun the other night (BEFORE we learned about the Russians and security stuff), and I was unpleasantly surprised by how old me looked. Holy wrinkles!

So here’s the thing. When looking at pictures posted by celebrities and friends, I find that the app has a huge bias towards women. The women look significantly older and my wrinkly than the men. Vishnu thinks I’m crazy for thinking that, but pay attention to the pics, and I think you’ll see what I’m talking about.

THREE – It took me over a month, but I finally figured out how to make daycare dropoffs a little easier. I let Kaiden bring his beloved football with him since it’s become a security thing. I don’t know if that’s the best answer, but I hate seeing him cry first thing in the morning, so I guess for us it is! Also, it’s not like he has it all day. The teachers take it away at some point and put it in his cubby. I really wish I had thought of this sooner!

FOUR – I hate to get all political here, but I’m going to because it’s my damn blog. I am enraged by the President’s racist comments to the four female members of the House. I know it’s just a distraction and all that, but really, “Go back to where you came from.” ARE YOU F’ING KIDDING ME!?! Three of them were born in THIS country. It’s not all that hard to take this personally when you’re the kid of immigrant parents who have done nothing but work hard for the past 37 years. I feel like he’s fueling the fire with his base, and that scares me for MANY reasons. UGH.

FIVE – Vishnu has his first 24 hour call on Saturday which means it’s just going to be me and K! This is his first in a long time, and luckily, he only has 3 Saturday and 3 Sunday shifts this year. WOO HOO!

We also have a heat wave hitting Chicago (and so many other parts of the country) this weekend, so other than the play date we have scheduled with K’s daycare bestie, I’m thinking we’ll hit up the museum (hopefully a more successful visit than last time) and/or the library.

That’s all from me! Happy Friday and weekend!

Life Lately on the Fitness Front

written by Parita 2 Comments

I used to blog regularly and in tons of detail about my workouts. Everything from about 2011 to 2016 is on MIS. Jillian Michaels, half marathon training, T25, Tough Mudder training, Barre3. It’s all on MIS!

I haven’t talked much about my fitness endeavors as of late because they don’t feel all that monumental. I’m honestly just trying hard to listen to my body and work out appropriately when I can. There’s not much more to it. The one thing that has changed are my workouts themselves.

Let me back up…

In March, I joined the gym across the street from where we lived. Not because I was itching to, but because Vishnu realized that despite his best efforts, he wasn’t going to be able to go as much as he wanted/needed to. We didn’t want to pay the cancellation fee, so we essentially worked with the gym to transfer his membership over to me.

As you guys know, I’m a home workout kind of person. I absolutely don’t mind doing Barre3 online at home or using YouTube videos or even going to our apartment gym. It’s what I’ve been doing for years. But when Vishnu raved about the group fitness classes at this gym, I said, “Why not?!”

Guess what…

Vishnu was right! I LOVE the classes and the instructors. And lucky for me, there are quite a few good ones that fall around my lunchtime, making it extra convenient on the days I work from home.

In terms of the workouts themselves, I take a class called TAP, a Barre Cardio class, and a Cycling class.

TAP
TAP stands for Total Athletic Performance. It’s kind of like a low-key version of CrossFit from what I gather. The gym offers two versions – a conditioning class and a strength class. Depending on the week, I’ll take one or both. The conditioning one is more cardio – running, rowing, ropes, ball slams, body weight exercises, kettle ball swings, etc. Lots of aerobic stuff mixed with a bit of strength. The strength class is the opposite. Lots of strength moves with barbells, hand weights, kettle balls, etc. and very little cardio. Both great options! Both leave me drenched in sweat at the end.

Barre Cardio
The Barre Cardio class is exactly what it sounds like. Barre with a mix of cardio in the form of jump squats and just faster moves to get your heart rate up.

Cycling
The Cycling class is a typical gym cycling class, but I love the instructor so that’s why I try to go once a week. She mixes in a little bit of arm work too, which I love. It’s no Soul Cycle, but it’s a good workout.

Other than that, I still do Barre3 Online at home, especially on the weekends. I’ve done BBG on days where I couldn’t make it to the gym. And I still very much love my treadmill walks and run/walks.

So with that being said, here’s what a typical week of workouts looks like for me.

Sunday – usually a rest day, but if I’m engaging in anything truly active, it’s usually a treadmill walk
Monday – TAP (conditioning)
Tuesday – If I’m working from home, I’ll head down to our apartment gym for a treadmill run/walk. If I’m in the office, then my walk to and from work counts as my workout!
Wednesday – TAP (conditioning)
Thursday – TAP (strength). If I’m in the office, then my walk to and from work counts as my workout!
Friday – Barre Cardio
Saturday – Cycling

Like I said, this is a typical week but it’s not an exact science. A lot depends on when I’m in the office vs. at home and how I’m physically feeling. The TAP classes are really challenging and I don’t push myself to do two in a row unless I really feel like I can handle it.

I’m also a huge believer in everyday activity serving as exercise, so on those days where I don’t make it to the gym, I just try to stay off my butt as much as possible. Having a very active toddler definitely helps!

And that’s where I’m currently at. Trying to challenge myself a bit more with the classes, but also listening to my body and getting rest when I need it. Not rocket science, but thought I would share since I’m in a different season of life.

Weekend Rehash – Beautifully Simple

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I love simple weekends. Ones where we have a few things scheduled but not too much that it feels overwhelming. This was definitely one of those weekends. It was beautifully simple!

FRIDAY

You guys know my usual Friday routine. This one was no different…just a little toned down.

I worked out after dropping K off at daycare, I then made a quick Trader Joe’s Trip. After putting everything away and cleaning up a bit, I headed to my sister’s place for a fun afternoon sister-sister date! We went to a new cafe in her neighborhood and then sat on her couch and talked for two hours. I love my sissy!

I came home and made Ministry of Curry’s Chana Saag and then went and got my little boo!

He was in a great mood after school, so we played and danced until dinnertime. I let him go after it with a cup of Greek yogurt and khichdi, which he did as evidenced by his yogurt face!

Vishnu had a work dinner, so I just relaxed on the couch and a glass of wine. Perfecto! Also, should add that I was asleep on the couch by 9:00 pm. Ha!

SATURDAY

Saturday started off with a cycling class at the gym. So sweaty, so fun!

I then got ready to head out to our friend Ashley’s birthday brunch. Because the timing of this overlapped with K’s nap time, Vishnu and I decided to divide and conquer. I would go to brunch, and he would hang out with the gang afterwards (drinks, etc.).

This worked well, although I wish Vishnu could’ve made it to brunch. This is what happens when you only have one babysitter in rotation. Need to work on that!

The rest of the day was fun and uneventful. I was pretty tired though, so I fell asleep on the couch at 7:45. Vishnu claims I was snoring, but there’s no proof so I don’t believe him!

SUNDAY

Sunday was a really fun day because we got up, got ready, and headed out to the museum campus area near the lake. While it was incredibly hot out, we loved walking along Lake Michigan, around Millennium Park, and down Michigan Avenue.

Kaiden even got to kick his soccer ball around!

The rest of the day followed suit. K took a 2 hour (to the tee) nap, I took an hour nap, and we hung out and chilled at home. Our night ended with episode 6 of Big Little Lies

*This is not to say we didn’t have moments of frustration during the weekend because trust me we did. But I’m choosing to focus on the good because overall it was a really good weekend!

State of Our Household – 2 YEARS OLD!

written by Parita 2 Comments

I honestly can’t believe we have a two-year-old! When I think back to right before Kaiden was born, it honestly feels like yesterday. I remember it all so clearly.

With that being said, for us, year two literally zoomed by when compared to the first year. Vishnu and I were talking about that the other day. It feels like Kaiden went from turning one to two…just like that!

Two is a lot of fun. And it isn’t all terrible like they say. But in all honesty, it’s more tiring than anything else with plenty of terrific moments to keep you going.

But overall, our little guy is super sweet and very loving, with a side of stubborn and clingy! HA!

Let’s take a look at how each of us is doing at this point in time.

STATE OF KAIDEN

State of Kaiden…where to start? I’ll start with the basics.

Knock on all the wood, but K is a great nighttime sleeper. He goes down around 7:30 and wakes up between 5:30 and 6. We did hit a two year sleep regression a month or so ago where he would wake up every so often throughout the night screaming. We opted to let him cry it out after the first few nights, and he’d generally go back to sleep after 5 minutes or so. Naps are also better than before. At school, he’s napping for 2 hours, but at home, we’ll usually get anywhere from 45 minutes-2 hours. It really just depends. On what? I have no idea!

As far as eating is concerned, he still eats great at daycare. Like one of the best in his class. At home, it just depends on his mood. Some days he amazes us and some days I can’t wait until daycare because I know he’ll eat there. He loves Indian food, with khichdi being his favorite. He also usually loves pasta with pesto or red sauce. In terms of other foods, his favorites include yogurt, bananas, apples, broccoli (roasted), cauliflower (roasted), peanut butter, toast.

Kaiden has also now mastered climbing up and down stairs (while holding the railing). He’s also amazing at throwing balls. His aim is pretty good. Dancing is also one of his favorite pastimes, and he’s got some moves!

What else? He’s still obsessed with balls. In fact, he sleeps with two different footballs. Elmo is his absolute favorite. He also loves Curious George (Georgie!). Daniel Tiger is up there but I think it’s a little too much talking for him at this age. Kaiden is also newly obsessed with boats. Our balcony overlooks the Chicago river where all the architecture boats tours come through, and every day (multiple times a day), without skipping a beat, he says, “Mama, BIG BOATTTTTT.” It’s the cutest thing! Trucks are also becoming a favorite, as are dogs.

His language skills are getting better and better by the day, but I’m pretty sure Vishnu and I are the only ones who really understand him! We’re trying our best to not give in when he just points to stuff and instead ask him what he wants and to name it. I can’t wait to see where he is in 6 months time!

In terms of his demeanor and personality, Kaiden is very sweet and really funny. Once he sees that something he did made us laugh, he revels in it and does it even more! He loves giving kisses, imitating us…what we say and the voices we say them in, cuddling with mama, reading books, and counting to 10.

On the flip side, he can be stubborn and go from 0-60 without any warning. It’s insane how something as simple as a question, saying his name or even me whistling can set him off. Sometimes Vishnu and I look at each other and laugh…other times, not so much!

I’m honestly looking forward to this year and watching K grow and develop even more, although I do miss my little baby!

STATE OF MAMA

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, motherhood definitely turned my world upside down for the first 18 months or so. It was more wonderful than I ever imagined and A LOT harder. But the past few months have been really good. Not without trying moments and days but good. I feel comfortable in this role, and honestly, I also feel less alone now that Vishnu’s home more.

Kaiden and I have a very special relationship, and I love that too. He’s my little boy, and he makes sure everyone knows it. When anyone else gives me a hug, he says ‘noooooooo…mineeeeeeeeee.’ HA! Still trying to get him to understand the concept of sharing!

Other than the day to day of being K’s mama, I’m doing really well. I love the gym I joined back in March. I go to group classes a few times a week and am starting to see real results. More than anything, it makes me feel mentally strong…like I can do anything.

Work is still the same old. I may have some travel to London coming up towards the end of the year. I’m ok with a little travel here and there, but after our trip to Anguilla, I realized a job with extensive travel is just not for me.

Other than that, I’m just trying to get out and enjoy the Chicago summer (all two months of it…HA!).

STATE OF DADA

Now that Vishnu is officially a fourth year Radiology resident, life gets easier for all of us in some ways. No more boards to worry about, no more excessive (in my opinion) call shifts, etc. We’ve had him home with us and very present the past couple of weekends, and it feels so nice…and a little strange! We’re super excited to explore Chicago a little more as a family, given we only have a couple of summers left here.

On the downside, with Vishnu having been busy and away from home the past 6-12 months, Kaiden is not always as nice as he should be. Like I said earlier, he’s still going through a mama phase, which leaves little to no room for dada. I’m trying my best to disappear every now and then so V and K can bond, so let’s see how that goes!

Other than that, Kaiden loves to go straight to our bed in the morning and say hello to dada and give him kisses. He’s also all about dada when Vishnu’s not home. Crazy kid!

And that’s all she wrote, folks! This is two and we’re here for it (most of the time!).

Anguilla – Stayed, Ate, Did

written by Parita 2 Comments

I honestly can’t believe our trip to Anguilla is behind us! As all good things do, it went so fast.

Before I get into where we stayed, what we ate, and what we did, I have to say that the island of Anguilla is absolutely gorgeous. The people are also incredible friendly. On the flip side, everything is so darn expensive! I totally get why (tourism is the #1 industry and they import almost everything), but it didn’t make the sting burn any less!

Also, in terms of how we got to Anguilla, we started with a flight from Chicago to Charlotte. Then we went from Charlotte to Sin. Maarten. And then from there, we took a ferry (through Funtime Charters) to Anguilla, where we took a cab to our resort. Phew! A lot of travel but totally worth it.

WHERE WE STAYED

This was a total splurge vacation for us, so in the name of go big or go home, we opted to stay at the Four Seasons Anguilla.

First of all, holy moly! What a gorgeous property. Everything from our room to the landscaping to the pools to the restaurants to the BEACH (in all transparency, we only spent time on Meads Bay Beach – less rocks and more space)…it was perfect! We loved everything about our stay.

Our room in particular was a one-bedroom studio with a sitting area, beautiful ocean facing deck and plunge pool. I liked having the extra space since we were there for 5 nights. One other thing of note was the bed. SO COMFORTABLE! I slept like a freaking baby!

WHERE WE ATE

Sunset Lounge at the Four Seasons – We ate here twice – sushi the first day for me and a noodle bowl the second time. The food was great, but what I really enjoyed was the live music and ambiance. You could hear the water crashing on the rocks. Loved that we had this option right on property!

Coba at the Four Seasons – A fine dining restaurant where we ate breakfast every morning (DELICIOUS!) and had dinner one night. The veggie options weren’t all that plentiful, but the pasta I got was quite delicious. Vishnu enjoyed his fish entree as well – said it was very fresh. The best part of this meal had to be the chocolate lava cake. We literally licked the plate clean.

Bamboo Bar & Grill at the Four Seasons – This on the water restaurant was the perfect lunch spot after a day in the hot sun. We got the guac and chips with a Margarita pizza to share. And again, loved the water views!

Blanchard’s Beach Shack – I LOVED this place and highly recommend it if you’re staying on the western part of Anguilla. It totally has a shack like vibe (pretty affordable) but the food is delicious with more veggie options that I could ask for. I loved the on the sand seating, and the brownie sundae was to die for!

This one wasn’t on property, but it was a beautiful and quick 12 minute or so walk from the Four Seasons. We ended up going two different days for lunch.

Picante – Again, if you’re staying on the western end of Anguilla, I highly recommend this Mexican restaurant. The food was tasty – umm…corn on the cob with queso fresco! – and the environment was casual and fun. I got the veggie enchiladas and pretty much cleaned my plate, and Vishnu highly recommends the seafood enchiladas he had. A must try place!

Sharky’s – According to the staff at the Four Season’s this is THE up and coming restaurant in Anguilla. So many create seafood dishes on the menu! I didn’t feel too great the night we went here, so I opted for some hot tea and soup – pumpkin coconut! Vishnu had the lobster stir-fry and declared it the best thing he ate! Not the cheapest place, but if you’re a seafood lover, probably one worth splurging on!

WHAT WE DID

Our big plan was to go to the beach everyday and take it from there. We were successful because instead of packing any part of our days with activities, we waited until we arrived at the resort to think about this. In fact, the two things we did end up doing, we booked the day of!

The first thing we did was a sunset painting class on the Four Seasons property. Honestly, it was fun because it was Vishnu’s first time, and we did it together. Would I do it again? Probably not.

The second thing we did was an hour long sailing excursion. This was amazing! All we had to do was let the guys on the beach know that we wanted to do this and when. They gave us a time and a guide and off we went. The water was a bit choppy the day we went out, so it was extra fun! Poor Vishnu sat on the ‘crazy’ side every time because I didn’t want to get too wet. I love my guy!

Reliving our trip through this post is bittersweet – I’m so glad to be back home in our routine with my sweet Kaiden, but I can’t help but miss the beach, the relaxation, and the unlimited time with Vishnu!

Until next time!