Parita - 2/166 - My Inner Shakti

Weekly Dose of Gratitude and Joy [2]

Guys, leave it to me to start something for the blog and let it slip through the cracks! Something I’m super excited about too. Oops! Better self-management in 2019, right?!

Anyways, I’m going to try and be more regular about these posts, as in get them up every Friday. I strive to find the little daily things that give me big feelings of gratitude, and I want to share what I’m finding and learning in my life with the hope that it gives someone else the space to do the same. In fact, I’m expanding this to include the things that bring me joy as well. I think gratitude brings joy and joy brings gratitude. They go hand in hand. So while I’m thinking of one, I should be thinking of the other as well!

With that, here are the things that brought me gratitude and joy this week…

FRIDAY

We had no plans on Friday night, so Vishnu and I cozied up on the couch and watched TV together after K went down. I even fell asleep for a bit (horrible sleep hygiene, but the best sleep ever!).

SATURDAY

We went to my friend Pankti’s house to hang out and have dinner with her, her husband and their little boy Arjun. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see K + A kinda sorta play together. They were the cutest. They even had this funny moment where Kaiden would put his hand out and Arjun would lean his face into it. Then the two of them would giggle their faces off. CUTEST THING EVER! Thankfully, we caught a slice of it on video too.

SUNDAY

Sunday was a tiring day. K and I were home alone the majority of the day, and he just wore me out. BUT, he woke up from his afternoon nap saying, “Maaaa maaaa, maaaa maaaa.” That little bit was enough to keep me going!

MONDAY

My friend and coworker Lamia and her husband came over for dinner, and K immediately took to Dusty. I should mention he hasn’t seen him in over six months. It was sooo cute, especially because Dusty isn’t the most comfortable around kids. But Kaiden only wanted to be held by him…to the point where I was afraid he may have a hard time going to bed (he didn’t…thank goodness!).

TUESDAY

I went into the office after over a month. The joy in this was not necessarily work (keeping it real!) but rather seeing all my coworkers and catching up.

WEDNESDAY

Vishnu was in Michigan for an interview (he left on Tuesday night) and came home in the evening. Our faces lit up upon hearing the door open. Kaiden was excited to see his dada, and I was thrilled to see my baby daddy and have some bedtime help!

THURSDAY

My sister came over in the evening, and it was so nice to catch up with her and have an extra person around to play with Kaiden. As I like to say every time she visits, I wish she and Adarsh lived next door or at least in the same building. Oh well…I’ll take 3 miles away over nothing!

And those are a few of my gratitude and joy slices from the week! Wishing you a weekend full of both of these things. 🙂

Diary of a Working Mom – Q&A with Sonia Amin Thomas

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I’m so excited to kick off 2019 with another set of awesome ‘Diary of a Working Mom’ stories and interviews. I have some some awesome mamas lined up – some who work outside the home, some who work from home, some who have a side hustle, some you turned their side hustle into their hustle hustle, etc.!

My very first interview of the year is with Sonia Amin Thomas. Sonia is the sister of one of my college BFFs Sweeti. And while that’s how I thought of her for a quick second, I now consider her a friend as well. She’s one of the first people I think of when I hear the word ambitious. She’s a super accomplished professional and an amazing mama to cutie pie Leia. Not to mention a blogger as well. Personally, I love how Sonia integrates her life from spending time with her husband, to making time for friends, to indulging in self-care when possible.

With that, here’s Sonia’s Q&A…

1. Tell me a little more about your family – number of kids, names, ages.

I have one daughter, Leia Audrey Thomas, and she’s 3 months old.

2. Tell me more about your line of work, role, responsibilities, etc.

I’m an Associate Professor of Pharmacy Practice at a pharmacy school where I teach. As part of that job, you’re also supposed to have a clinical hospital site where you practice and take students on rotation, so I’m also a clinical oncology pharmacist specialist. My week is split between teaching at the school and being at the hospital with the oncologist education patients on chemotherapy. I also work one weekend a month at the hospital as a clinical pharmacist.

3. Walk me through a day in your life.

My day starts at 5:30-6 am (depending on when I have to leave for work). I workout for 30 mins at home, shower, wake Leia up and feed her between 7-7:30 am. I then eat breakfast and pump at home for 20 minutes, wash everything, and rush out to start my work day. The process from wake to when I leave the house takes 2.5 hours. We have a nanny Monday, Tuesday and Friday, my Mom is with Leia on Wednesday, and Jibin’s (my husband) mom is with her on Thursday. When I come home from work anywhere between 3-5 pm (depending on where I am and what’s going on), I heat dinner that has been pre-made (I have a notes section on my phone with dinners listed out for a month along with grocery lists, so anything I do during the week for dinner prep is 30 mins or less). I simultaneously entertain Leia, wash all the pump parts and sterilize with her bottles. We usually eat around 5:30-5:45 pm and then hang with Leia for 30 mins as well as let her play on her own for at least 30 mins. Her bedtime routine starts at 6:30 pm. Jibin usually finds her while I pump, and she’s usually asleep by 7:15. I then get things ready for the next day to make the morning easier, and Jibin and I hang out for a bit before I go to sleep at 9:30 pm. I also currently wake once at night to pump/feed.

4. How has becoming a mom influenced your role at work?

I’ve realized I want more time at home with my family. I was recently offered a position at work in which I could move up the ladder, but it would require longer and later hours and a lot more of my time overall. A great career move, but family life is more important to me right now!

5. What is your favorite tip on how to integrate work and life?

If you enjoy your work, this shouldn’t be an issue. I LOVE what I do. Oncology pharmacy is my heart for sure. My husband and I are both bloggers as well and we set aside “blog hour” on various evenings to get that done since we both love it. I also like to be very efficient at work and get things done quickly so I can be all work at work and all play once I’m home. I prefer to keep work and home life separate!

6. How do you handle mom guilt?

I am blessed with a great career and being efficient really minimizes my mom guilt. The guilt I felt was during sleep training. We’ve been using a method called 12 hours by 12 weeks, and I misinterpreted the book and felt bad for doing the training wrong. But I just told myself that as long as she’s getting as much food and sleep as she needs, she’s fine!

7. What is the most surprising part of being a working mom? And the most rewarding?

Surprising – no one understands how incorporating pumping into your day is a big challenge!

Rewarding – people definitely admire you and have a different kind of respect for you once you’re a mom!

8. How do you carve out ‘me’ time? What does ‘me’ time look like for you? On that same note, what’s your guilty pleasure?

I’m lucky in that I started putting Leia on a schedule very early on. So because her naps are at a set time, getting ‘me’ time was easier than I thought! Also, every Wednesday evening, my hubby has work meetings. Once Leia is down for the night, I have time to relax by watching TV, catching up with friends on the phone, reading a book or working on my blog. My guilty pleasure is binge eating on sweets!

9. What’s your mama mantra?

I can’t predict everything with Leia, but I can help by prepping and planning as much as possible in advance!

10. What’s the best piece of advice you received when returning back to work after having your baby?

Leave work at work and cherish your time with Leia when you come home. Also, when she smiles, it’ll make the worst day worth it.

11. What advice would you give to mamas-to-be about returning back to work?

Take as many photos and videos as you can when you’re home with your baby. It’s fun to look at them at work when you’re having a rough day or even taking a break. Also, set a schedule, prep in advance and sleep train!

Thank you, Sonia, for taking the time to share your thoughts and life with MIS readers! Loved what you said about prepping in advance…it’s a life saver for sure!

If You Don’t Ask…

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…the answer is always no. As I (and Nora Roberts) like to say.

While the big lesson Vishnu wants to pass on to Kaiden is to never give up no matter how many times he may fall, mine is a little different. I want to teach him the value of asking for what he believes he deserves because if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Additionally, not asking leads to regret and what ifs, which are both hard to live with.

There’s no doubt Kaiden will hear me say this A LOT over the course of his life because I truly believe it and have benefited from asking these harder questions.

For example, I was the only person in my post-MBA job class to ask for an increase in base salary, and guess what…I got one. Nothing monumental, but something’s better than nothing.

A couple of years ago, I had a courageous conversation with my boss’s boss about my salary. I asked her if an increase to market value was possible, and guess what…not only did I get a major bump in salary, but I also got a promotion.

Don’t get me wrong. Money is not the most important driver. Possibility is. I know who have met the loves of the their lives because they dared to ask a stranger out. People who got cool opportunities when they weren’t the most qualified because they showed ambition and determination.

I also know people, myself included, who’ve asked the question and received a no in return. It’s not easy to hear, but at least you know versus wondering what could have been. The no is a lot easier to take when you think of it this way.

And this doesn’t just apply to major life situations. It applies to small every day things too. From restaurant requests to asking for samples at Sephora. 🙂

Don’t discount the power of asking for what you want. The worst thing anyone can say is no.

The Promise of a New Year

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I’m one of those walking cliches who loves the New Year. I’m all about January 1. If nothing else, it’s the promise it brings that excites me. January is also my birthday month, and there’s something about turning a year older at the start of the year that puts you in a ‘get my shit together’ mode!

If I’m being honest, I also love Mondays and the 1st of any month. The whole idea of a clean slate gets me every time!

I shared on Instagram a few posts back that my intention for 2019 is to take care of myself better, chose myself every day, and ultimately, ‘come home.’

In terms of the how, I plan to be better about managing my time so I have more time for me – to read, to write, to cook more complicated meals, to connect with Vishnu and friends/family, etc. I’ve lacked focus in the last year or so, and I plan to work on that so I can do the things that bring me joy. I’ll share more as I refocus (lol!) myself.

In terms of goals (because, yes, I set those too!), I have a few that I want to work on throughout the year (see below). These are more so focused on daily habits and intentions. And then for bigger projects, I’m setting monthly goals. For example, in January, I’d like to tackle our file folder box thingy. It’s overflowing and filled with very old files and paperwork. Need to get that thing in order!

Ok, so as far as my daily goals/habits are concerned, here they are…

Drink ~80 oz of water every day.
No technology 30 minutes before bed and within 30 minutes of waking.
Go to bed by 10 pm every night and wake up before Kaiden (weekends are the exception).
Decrease sugar and dairy consumption (consider ‘worth it’ moments). More to come on this one very soon!
Speak and think as positively as possible. Good things are happening (even when you can’t ‘see’ them) and challenges are temporary. Look for the silver lining.

I think all of these are pretty doable. I’ll share more throughout the year on my progress.

And finally, I have a few goals in terms of this blog and my MIS Instagram page. Honestly, the biggest thing I want to accomplish is sharing other people’s stories. I’m one person with a limited view, and there are so many other inspiring and amazing people out there with meaningful life stories. And I want to share those! Be on the lookout.

Other than that, I plan to continue to share with as much authenticity as possible. I love following and connecting with others who are raw and open, so in 2019, I want to bring more of that to my platforms. Life’s too short to only share the pretty slices of pie!

From the very bottom of my heart, thank you for reading and following MIS! Let’s make 2019 a great year!

State of Our Household [Month 18]

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When you really look at it, motherhood is one big cliche after another. Like where does time go and how is my baby 18 months old?!

If I recall correctly, my last update was when K turned a year old, and so much has changed since then. It’s insane! For one, our little guy is now running around everywhere. He’s also grasping certain concepts that make life a little more challenging and a lot more fun. Personally, I think this age is one of my favorites (so far)…but don’t listen to me because I’ve been saying this every month for the past 18 months!

With that, let’s get to the State of Our Household updates…

STATE OF KAIDEN

I don’t even know where to start with Mr. Kaiden. He has such a little personality. One that truly shines when he’s comfortable, like with our families. Every night for the past 12 or so days (while in Atlanta), he’s been our source of entertainment as we watch him play, imitate us, and run around. SO MUCH FUN!

In terms of some of the basics, he’s pretty much sleeping through the night (7:30 pm to ~6 am (give or take)) with a few hiccups here and there. I always say, it could be worse! In terms of food, he’ll pretty much eat anything when he’s not distracted, but the minute his attention is pulled elsewhere, it’s game over. He does really well at daycare apparently, so I try not to stress out too much, but if I had to pick the one thing that worries me the most, it’s his eating habits. Like I’ve shared before, I can’t help but think about if he’s getting all the nutrients he needs, etc. I’m trying to be chill about going forward because his pediatrician always reminds me that as long as he’s growing we’re ok.

He’s definitely growing with his gross motor skills and physical and mental development. Like I said before, he’s pretty much running/walking really really fast now. He’s also starting to climb on to furniture, which is proving to be challenging to manage because he finds it so fun, and I find it very heart attack inducing. He’s also able to identify quite a few body parts as well as pictures in his books. I love quizzing him!

Another big thing around this time is language development. Kaiden has a handful of words in his vocabulary including mama, dada, nana (which can be my dad or a banana), all done, one more, more, hello, wow, ball, and a lot of other words/phrases that sound like things but may or may not be! My sister told me that in the next six months, his vocabulary will grow to about 200 words, and I can’t wait! His little voice is my favorite.

On a not so fun note, Kaiden can throw a tantrum like no other. Luckily, he gets over it pretty quickly, but man, you can’t always tell when it’s coming. The one thing that really ticks him off is when we say no in a stern voice and/or take something away from him. DRAMA KING, I tell you!

Other than that, Kaiden is such a fun loving boy. He loves to laugh and make other people laugh, and for that, we feel so blessed!

STATE OF MAMA

2017 and 2018 were not easy for me. Motherhood, on the one hand, has been so much fun, but it hasn’t come without its challenges. Most of my challenges revolved around sleep deprivation, Kaiden’s sicknesses, and my own thoughts that often got in the way of my happiness and/or stressed me out to no end. I probably won’t be cured of any of this in the coming year, but I hope to conquer my own mind and ‘come home’ to myself. Forever a work in progress, but progress is the goal.

Other than that, I feel much better and more balanced in general but specifically with work and home responsibilities. I think a lot of this has to do with Kaiden getting older, my ‘getting used’ to motherhood, and letting go of some of type A tendencies. Again, I’m a work in progress, but baby steps are the only way to go.

I plan to share more about my journey and growth along with my ups and downs in 2019. Expect much more unfiltered posts from me!

STATE OF DADA

Like almost all of my other updates, Vishnu’s still rocking fatherhood. Kaiden loves goofing around, wrestling, and causing general mischief with him.

The only thing that gets in the way of all the fun is residency. Ha! The past few months have been challenging with Vishnu’s call schedule and stint in DC, and the next six months will be full of board studying. Vishnu assures me we won’t feel the pain of that too much, but I’m setting my expectations very low because this isn’t my first time around the study block.

I’m hoping Vishnu’s study schedule will force us to be more intentional with the free time we do have. More to come!

2018 was THE fastest year of my life. I can’t believe how much Kaiden has grown in the last 12 months. It’s also hard to believe that in another short six months, he’ll be two!! Here’s to another great month and year!

December 2018 – The One Where Kaiden Took Out the Whole Family

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Oh December 2018, I can’t say I’m going to miss you. Sure, you brought some fun memories, like Vancouver and the holidays, but man has it been a rough ride, especially for our family.

This month will forever be embedded in my mind as the one where Kaiden took out the whole family. Let me start from the beginning…

Two and a half weeks ago Kaiden had a fever which lasted over 6 days and morphed into an ear infection. I was in Vancouver for most of that time, but my sister, Vishnu and dad were around Kaiden quite a bit. And all three of them caught whatever he had. Think cold + cough + fever.

Fast forward to the following week. Everyone was still sick (minus K), and now Adarsh (my BIL) wasn’t feeling too great. I was the last man standing at this point and so thankful for it.

Fast forward again to this past Thursday. The day Kaiden and I left for Atlanta. Kaiden woke up at 6:30 am, which was such a pleasant surprise. I went in to pick him up and noticed his pajamas felt a little damp and crusty. I immediately thought he had diarrhea and woke Vishnu up so we could manage the situation. Vishnu went in to K’s room and yelled out that he had vomited and that we needed to give him a bath immediately. So we did all that and everything seemed ok.

Then right before we were heading out for the airport, Adarsh was getting K ready (putting his socks, shoes, and jacket on) when he vomited again all over our couch.

Again, we cleaned everything and everyone up and headed out the door.

I prayed all the way to the airport that Kaiden wouldn’t get sick on the plane, and thankfully he didn’t. In fact, he slept for most of the flight.

Everything was fine until the next day. And then K had diarrhea. Because we’re experienced with stomach bugs, I did my very best with hand washing and sanitizing. I did not want to catch whatever he had. I told my parents to do the same as well.

Well, no dice because I experienced the same symptoms starting Friday night well into Saturday morning. And. It. Was. Miserable.

I felt ok Saturday evening, and Kaiden seemed to be on the mend too, so we thought all was good.

Kaiden feeling good enough to roll around and make a mess while the rest of us stuffer…lol!

Again, no dice. My mom felt sick Saturday night and went through exactly what I did well into Sunday.

Here’s the kicker. My poor dad, who already got sick in Chicago, got sick again last night with the same symptoms as my mom and I.

I’m hoping we get better before we head to my in-laws’ house on Friday. Fingers and toes crossed!

And that’s why I, along with the rest of my family, am ready to say goodbye to December 2018.

Three Changes I’m Making for (Hopefully) Clearer Skin

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If you look back at my blog archives over the past eight years,you’ll find a countless number of posts about my experiences with acne. Everything from what I’ve tried to combat it to the lifestyle changes I’ve implemented.

In the last year alone, I went to a dermatologist (who wanted to start me on a $500/month prescription), started birth control, and switched my entire skincare routine over to Drunk Elephant. And while the condition of my skin has improved dramatically and the number of breakouts I get has decreased quite a bit, I still feel like there’s more I can do. I say this because I still break out every now and then, and it’s painful, and as vain as it sounds, it’s not pretty.

Before I go into the exact changes, let me address what I’ve noticed in the last 6 months or so. Every time I indulge a little (or a lot!), specifically with cheesy and sugary foods, my skin responds very negatively. For example, after our weekend in Traverse City where I drank lots of wine, ate lots of cheese, and had two desserts in one day, my skin went nuts. The same thing happened after Thanksgiving weekend because I ate mac n’ cheese for 4 days straight. And again after Vancouver (re: four nights straight of wine and dessert).

I’m thinking you know what two of my changes are! If you guessed significantly reducing the amount of cheese (I don’t really consume other forms of dairy) and sugar I eat,you’re right. Looking back, I think if I moved the needle even 80%, I’d see a huge improvement.

My third change is implementing a sleep routine. Of course, Mr. Kaiden may throw this off a little, but I know I can do better. For example, instead of falling asleep on the couch, I should just go to bed. I’m also hoping that by creating a bedtime routine, I’ll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep for most of the night. I’ve read a lot about how sleep impacts skin health (along with everything else), so I’m putting it and myself to the test!

Those who know me well may be thinking, “But Par, you LOVE cheese and sweet stuff. Are you really just giving it up cold turkey?” Trust me, I’ve been toying with this exact thought for a while now. My answer is this…for the next month, I’m giving up cow’s milk cheese and refined sugar. After that, I’m going to reevaluate how my skin looks and feels and take it from there. To be honest, I think my days of eating multiple slices of pizza are gone, but that’s what it’s comedown to. I can’t deal with my skin looking like it did when I was 15.

With that being said, after this one month period, if there’s something I want to try, I will allow myself a bite or two of the good stuff. I mean, life’s too short to totally give up the stuff you love!

So here’s the plan for the next month at least…

No cow’s milk dairy
No added/refined sugar (super dark chocolate a-ok!)
Operation ‘get better sleep’ – put a routine in place and no handheld devices for the hour leading up to bedtime

I know lots of you are interested in these kinds of experiments because many of us struggle with adult acne. I’ll revisit this here on the blog in a month to share my progress. Hopefully I learn some good stuff!

WISH ME LUCK!