My Inner Shakti

finding strength in everyday things

Why My Inner Shakti Revisited

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I’m switching gears today from Coronavirus talk to something else.  Thought I would share a bit more about the name of my blog and why I decided to go with My Inner Shakti.

Back when I started my blog (2011), I shared a post about ‘Why My Inner Shakti?’  Why that name for my blog and what it means to me.  At that time, my blog was very ‘Parita’ centric.  MY life, MY healthy living journey, MY trials and tribulations, etc. 

To be honest, my blog is still very much about me (ha!), but I’ve taken a different approach over the past few years.  Instead of sharing my day to day life, I’m focusing on sharing things that may be helpful to people.  Things that are a bit more topic focused.  I also switched from writing about healthy living to motherhood.  Kaiden is the most important person in my life right now, and everything really revolves around him, so why not write about that.

With that being said, the name of my blog still fits.  If nothing, the past few years have taught me to work that much harder to find my inner shakti on a daily basis! 

Here’s what I said about My Inner Shakti back in 2011…

My Inner Shakti (my inner strength) represents something very powerful to me.  It signifies the importance of having a strong, loving relationship with yourself.  This is not an easy feat…trust me!  Up until now, I defined myself not by my own character and strengths, but by how I perceived myself to be as a daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, employee, etc.  I thought that if I could always be the best [insert relationship], I would be happy.  However, the more I tried to be the best Parita for everyone else, the less fulfilled I felt on the inside, in my gut.  Slowly, I started to realize that the relationship I really needed to work on was the one I have with myself.  Don’t get me wrong, I still strive to be a good daughter, sister, girlfriend, etc.  I love my family and friends!  BUT, lately my efforts have revolved around figuring out what things give me My Inner Shakti and pursuing those. 

My Inner Shakti can mean different things to different people.  We are all unique individuals with unique views, passions, and ideas.  The one thing that we should all remember is to not stop ourselves from being happy and doing the things that enable us to build strong relationships with ourselves…life is too short.  My hope is that this blog will inspire people to find the little things that make them happy and give them their inner shakti and always remember that…

For years, My Inner Shakti was about self-love.  And while that’s still a part of the equation and always will be, it’s so much broader now.  It’s about finding that strength within and sharing it with others.  It’s about authenticity and letting your light shine bright.  It’s about lifting others up and helping them shine too.  It’s about not taking things so seriously and finding small joys every day.  At the end of the day, it’s about going within and knowing you are enough and that you can make a difference.  It’s about believing in yourself and enabling others to do the same.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matter compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like I did in 2011, I welcome you to join me on this inner shakti journey. 

Weekend + COVID-19 Thoughts

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I’m pretty sure most of us experienced a similar kind of weekend. We stayed inside almost the entire time. It was tiring and frustrating at times, but I also felt lucky that I have a well stocked pantry and fridge I can access as well as just a safe space to be right now. Not everyone is so lucky.

Anyways, here’s our weekend in a nutshell…

Weekend

Friday – grocery shopping (circled TJ’s parking lot 4x before heading to Mariano’s which was fine but lots of aisles were near empty if not completely bare); random stuff around the house; sister and BIL came over and we ordered in dinner from Irazu.

Made some yummy treats to help cope with some of this stress!

Saturday – Vishnu worked a 24 hour shift so he left the house at 6:30 am; Kaiden woke up at 7 (hallelujah!); the rest of the day was spent trying not to go nuts; Kaiden whined and cried A LOT which pressed all kinds of buttons for me, but I gently reminded myself that if this becomes our new normal for a bit, I need to find a way to deal and help him process his emotions better.

Sunday – Vishnu came home and slept until lunchtime; we played and watched some TV; I caught up on laundry; we had tacos for dinner (always fun with a toddler…ha!).

Who says parents can’t have fun?!

COVID-19 Thoughts

You guys, I’m not a doctor or a medical professional in any sense of the word, so please don’t take my words as advice. These are just the things rattling around in my head over the past week or so, and I need to get them out. Writing and sharing on here really helps me, so here I am.

First and foremost, I’m one of those people who went from thinking this wouldn’t impact us as much as other countries to now thinking oh s***, COVID-19 is scary and we need to act now.

With that being said, I’m sick of people comparing it to the flu. IT’S NOT TO FLU! Follow credible sources, and you’ll see. Read the firsthand reports from other countries that are just a week ahead of us with this thing, and you’ll see. NOT THE FLU! So when I hear people not giving a flying f*** about staying home and social distancing, I get super angry. Like fine, if you don’t care about yourself, that’s one thing. But if you get it, you likely won’t know for about 14 days which means you’ll be walking around interacting with people for 14 days infecting them. And some of those people may be immuno compromised. That’s just a shitty thing to do. Experts from around the world are literally shouting from the rooftops that we need to stay home as much as possible in order to slow this thing down. So stay at home. For the love of God, stay at home.

You guys know I don’t get political on here, but you also know that I’m not a fan of our current administration (and that’s putting it lightly). From what I’ve read and from using common sense, I’ve gleaned that the president didn’t take appropriate actions at the right time. He refused testing kits from the WHO, he had his son-in-law who’s not a doctor ‘researching’ the Coronavirus and advising him, he kept discounting it and saying the flu is a lot worse (it isn’t!), etc. And he did all this to keep the economy afloat because it’s an election year. ARE YOU F’ING KIDDING ME?! You mean to tell me you saw what was happening around the world, and you chose to do nothing?! It’s disgusting. If you look at countries like Singapore and a couple of others, they took early action and really combated the virus by being proactive. And that’s despite being so close to China, the epicenter of COVID-19.

You can’t change the past, I suppose, so we should all focus on what’s happening now. Well, I can tell you that we don’t have enough testing kits and that our healthcare system is overwhelmed. Vishnu and I watched the president’s address on Friday declaring this a national emergency. First of all, no s***. But also, if you listen carefully, Trump basically just touts himself and talks around literally every important detail. Again, are you f’ing kidding me?! The American people need to see their leader take the reins on this thing and declare concrete actions, but instead, we have…Trump. Who doesn’t think we’ll need 5 million testing kits just so you know. UGH!

Ok, glad to get all of that off my back…

Putting all of that aside, my heart aches for so many people right now. People who don’t have access to food. Kids who may not get the two school meals they count on every day. Homeless people. People who can’t work from home. People who may lose their jobs as a result of this. People who are immuno comprised and/or older and at more risk. People who are small business owners. And the list goes on…

When I start to feel myself get stressed out about this, I remind myself that I’m very lucky. Kaiden’s daycare is closed for at least two weeks, so my day-to-day life is going to be insane, but at least I can manage it. The factors in play are somewhat in my control. Others are not so lucky.

I pray and send healthy vibes and strength to anyone who’s already been affected by this virus and anyone who will be. I pray for our healthcare workers who are essentially in the trenches every single day. I pray that people live by one word during this time – kindness. I pray this helps us see the humanity in every single being around us.

I hope you stay safe and healthy during this crazy time. Remember, stay inside, wash your hands, and be kind.

My Advice for Mamas Going On or Returning From Maternity Leave

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I was asked to be part of an International Women’s Day panel this week. There were a total of six women on the panel representing different aspects working womanhood. It was an incredible experience, and I got great feedback from various people, both men and women, about the format and diversity of voices that were shared.

I shared my Q&A on my stories but was asked to post it on the blog because it was too hard to read (sorry!). So here it is – my advice for mamas going on or returning from maternity leave…

Question: Parita, you’ve been on maternity leave while working at XXX. What advice would you give someone else who is about to go on or return from maternity leave? 

Answer: So my answer is three-fold.  But before I talk about that, I just want to say it’s important to acknowledge that the person who leaves the office on day 1 of maternity leave is not the same person who returns on day X.  What you need and want from your job and organization will change because you’ve just started the ultimate job of being someone’s mom.  This isn’t something I thought too much about before my leave, but I think it’s important to understand and acknowledge this.

With that being said, the first thing I would tell someone who is about to go on maternity leave or about to return back to work, is to think through what it is you now need.  Do your hours still work for you?  Do you need some flexibility to work from home?  Can you still travel?  Think through the role you left and figure out what elements still work for you and which ones need to change. 

From there, come up with a plan.  One that focuses on you as well as your team.  Think through how the things you need will impact everyone else and how you can mitigate that to whatever degree.  Think through any other challenges and barriers, any potential benefits, etc.

Once you have your plan mapped out, put it in writing and talk to you manager about putting it in action.  For example, I knew I needed/wanted Fridays off when I returned from leave so I put pen to paper and submitted a request to be on a 4/10 schedule.  I’m flexible to work on Fridays and my team knows that, and it works for us.

The thing is that no one knows what you need or want but you, and this really goes to everyone, not just working moms.  You have to ask for what you want because, trust me, no one cares or thinks about you as much as you do.  And at the end of the day, the worst thing anyone can say is no.  And if that’s the case, the ball’s back in your court to figure out your next steps.

*And yes, I am that person who types out her response word for word. But I do that because I don’t want to veer to far from the question and because I want to make sure I cover everything.

Weekend Report – the One Where We’re All Sick

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Guys! Every single person in our household is man down to some degree right now. Kaiden and I have colds, while Vishnu’s nursing a sore throat. Ick!

With that being said, I’m gong to keep this weekend report to a minimum, only highlighting key details.

Friday

Friday started off pretty typically – drop K off at school, Trader Joe/Target/library run, workout, lunch, A Million Little Things…

And then came the atypical. I went to the salon for highlights and a trim. LOVED the end result! I only go every five months, so it always feels like a little treat. New hair, who dis!?

The rest of the day was ok. Vishnu really didn’t feel good, so the evening was pretty low key. Essentially, we played, we ate, and we went to bed early.

Saturday

Saturday started with haircut for K and a Costco run.

Ummm…Costco was a madhouse. People are stocking up on everything under the sun, including toilet paper. Also, riddle me this – why do we need to stock up on water right now? This isn’t a natural disaster. It’s not like we go crazy every year around flu season. Look, I agree that Coronavirus is scary and unpredictable, but I think we’re all playing into the media frenzy a little too much.

Other highlights include another showing of Coco (yes, again…and yes, again I cried at the end!) and lots of horsing around on mama and dada’s bed.

Vishnu and I also met up with our friends for a fun dinner at Lula Cafe. This is a top rated Chicago restaurant with tons of veggie options. For my main entree, I enjoyed a mushroom and toasted buckwheat dish that came with this delicious sauce and lots of Parmesan. Yum! If you live in the Chicago area, I highly recommend checking this place out.

Sunday

With the time change, K was up closer to 7:45a, which was a nice change of pace, even though it didn’t make a huge difference for us (we didn’t go to bed until midnight).

Because we’re all under the weather, we decided to skip soccer altogether. Wanted to avoid any ‘why are you here?’ looks from the other parents!

It’s 1:58 pm as I type this out. So as of right now, our plans for the rest of the day involve a potential trip to the park (or even just a walk around the neighborhood), another movie, and hopefully another early bedtime.

I hope you had a healthier weekend than us!

Written on Related:Weekend

Friday Stuff [#2]

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Is it just me or are the weeks starting to fly by again?  Things were definitely draft in part of February, but now it’s March 6 and I’m like WHA…?!

Anyways, this was a good week…nothing too exciting but better than the past one in some ways (mainly K being more sweet vs. sassy).

With that, let’s get started with some Friday stuff…

Book stuff

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I finished The Silent Patient and have now moved on to The Perfect Couple.  A few thoughts – I think everyone should read The Silent Patient.  It was that good.  I’m only 25% of the way through The Perfect Couple, but it’s good so far.  A few IG followers said they couldn’t wait to hear about my thoughts on the ending.  Which of course has been intrigued about the ending!

Also, do you guys borrow books from the library?  I’m so in love with the library now (like I was when I was a little girl), but the issue is that I can’t read fast enough!  I’m picking up 3 new books today when I’m still not done with the one I got last week.  #firstworldproblems

Brunch stuff

If you read my Monday weekend post, you saw that we went to brunch with friends after soccer on Sunday.  This isn’t extraordinary in any way, except that it didn’t cause me any anxiety. This is huge because I’m very strategic about how we spend our weekends, always balancing the things I need to get done and fun. I had plenty to do at home, but I excitedly agreed to brunch and am so glad I did.  Kaiden had an absolute blast with his buddy Roger and it made me so happy to see him that happy!

Hair stuff

I have a hair appointment today – cut and highlights.  I’m so excited!  My grays are coming in with a vengeance, and to be honest, I don’t really care about that.  I just want them to be blended in a bit more, and I truly love the way the highlights end up looking. And I actually want to grow my hair out a bit, so the cut will really be a trim and refresh.  It’ll be a nice way to welcome Spring (which seems to be coming soon…or at least I hope!). 

Skin stuff

So for those who have been reading along for a while, you know that I had two major hives episodes in 2019.  It was ridiculous and I had to go on steroids both times, etc.  We never figured out what caused my hives, but thankfully, I’ve been all clear since October.

However, now my issues is generally itchy skin.  It’s not necessarily dry (doesn’t look it anyway), but I tend to get super duper itchy at night and in the early morning.  Like I have scratch marks on my back kind of itchy! 

Up until now, I’ve just been moisturizing with Cerave and saying a prayer. But Vishnu suggested using Aquaphor to see if that helps, and you guys…it’s been a game changer of sorts.  Now, after showering, I put on coconut oil and then later on the Aquaphor.  I still get itchy, especially towards the end of the day, but it’s nothing like before. 

I’m just hoping this method will save me until summer shows up which is when my skin generally doesn’t have any issues.

Kaiden’s room stuff

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that Vishnu and I took on a couple of projects to block the windows in Kaiden’s room.  We live in a loft, and thankfully the second bedroom is completely closed off, but the windows weren’t helping K’s sleep situation. 

Basically, for a while, we had white poster board Vishnu taped together in the windows the block the light.  Obviously not very aesthetically pleasing. 

To help change that, we used Kaiden’s artwork from school to create collages on one side (the side facing into his room), and then for the side facing into our living space, Vishnu created two pieces of shower curtain art.  (He basically used a similar process to this one, except before attaching the shower curtain, he stapled on a black sheet.)

So crafty and cost effective!  Wins all around!

Self-management stuff

Guys, I used to be a pro at this.  I have no tips or trick…just wanted to share that I’m trying to get better and would love any and all suggestions you have!  Share away!

Recipe stuff

Make these stuffed shells ASAP!  The filling alone will have you drooling.  Trust me!

Instagram stuff

Well, that’s all she wrote this Friday! Until next time…have a great weekend!

No portion of this post is sponsored.  However, affiliate links are included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links.  Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

My Month of No Dessert – All the Details

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Ok, if you’re reading the title of this blog post and thinking, “YOU gave up DESSERT? The queen of all things chocolate!,” you are right to be shocked because it’s true. I did in fact give up dessert for the month of February.

Didn’t have any of this in February, but you can bet I did on March 2nd!

But let’s back up a bit first, so I can share some context…

Why did you give up dessert?

As y’all know, I traveled to London at the end of October for my company’s global conference. And even though I was able to squeeze a few workouts in here and there, I didn’t make healthy decisions in the food department. This means I ate A LOT of dessert and drank a lot of wine. Which is fine as an isolated incident, but in my case, it wasn’t.

Then came November and Thanksgiving and more dessert, more wine, and just more regular unhealthy choices.

Then came December. I had my team meeting at the beginning of the month – more dessert and more wine. Then we went home to Atlanta where I didn’t even think twice about what I was eating and drinking. I did manage to workout, so there is that.

When we got back to Chicago, I was flipping through pictures on my phone when I realized that I just didn’t love the way I looked. It wasn’t anything dramatic, but it just didn’t sit right with me. I then happened to step on a scale the next morning and saw a number that I haven’t seen in like 15 years (except when I was pregnant).

I started think about all the decisions I made that led me to this point and came to the conclusion that something needed to be done.

And trust me, it wasn’t the number on the scale that did me in. I know that with better eating habits and some solid weekly workouts, I’ll get back on track. What really opened my eyes was that I was eating things I don’t normally like – like an orange souffle cake (I HATE orange and chocolate together) or a mango flan (umm no!). But I was eating those kinds of things mindlessly.

I was also reaching for something sweet multiple times a day. Chocolate chips here, a piece of chocolate dessert there, etc.

Basically, something needed to change.

Why Give Up Dessert Completely?

In really simple terms, I needed a reset. I needed to give my cravings some space to outgrow themselves. And I figured that after a month, I would be able to come back much stronger to where I could be more selective about what I chose to indulge in and what I chose to skip.

So what did this look like exactly?

Essentially, I gave up desserts. Not sugar but things that would be considered dessert for me – cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream, chocolate chips, etc. To that end, I also steered clear of muffins and things that could be interpreted as dessert because I truly wanted to decrease my craving.

For the month of February, I avoided these things. I didn’t use other things to dissipate the cravings either. Sometimes, I’d eat fruit or drink a La Croix, but I didn’t use something sweet to combat the desire for what I really wanted.

Did you have any support?

Yes! My little sister joined me on this month long quest because she was kind of in the same boat. She found herself mindlessly eating desserts and wanted to stop that habit.

The rule for the month was if we caved and had something sweet, we owed the other person $5. 🙂

Did you lose weight doing this?

Not a pound, my friends! It took me 3 months to put on the extra pounds, so I know it’s going to take a bit to take it off. Especially because I didn’t really alter my other meals. It’s not like this was a diet or anything like that. I still ate my normal diet (which is still healthy but doesn’t involve any deprivation).

What results did you see?

My cravings have subsided substantially! For example, I no longer look for something sweet after my main meals. Also, on March 1 when I could technically eat whatever I wanted without a $5 penalty, I didn’t have anything sweet. Just didn’t want it.

Essentially, I accomplished what I wanted! This wasn’t about weight loss, it was truly about combating my habits around sweet foods.

Now what?

I’m still going to try and keep my dessert consumption at bay (1-2x a week). I will also try and be much more mindful when eating desserts so that I truly enjoy every bite. And finally, I won’t eat things that I don’t truly love – like orange souffle. Ha!

Look, I definitely think a life of moderation is the best life, and that includes one with chocolate. With that being said, mindfulness will absolutely be key going forward!

Let me know if you have any questions! Happy to share more.

Weekend Report – Bombshell, Art Project and an Impromptu Brunch

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I love normal, go with the flow kind of weekends. Not too hectic, no real lulls. And thankfully, this weekend was one of them!

Let’s get right into the details…

Friday

This Friday was a little different from the rest. I ran to TJs, Target, and the Library (of course!). And then I came home and ate an early lunch while catching up on the latest episode of A Million Little Things. SO SO GOOD!

Then I had a work call for about an hour.

And then I went to Costco to get our tires changed. I also shopped a little and got some pictures printed. Man I love that place!

I came home and meal prepped a little bit (creamy orzo and baked chicken) before going to get K from school.

The rest of the evening was pretty routine – play, eat, bath, books, bed.

Once K was down for the night, Vishnu and I settled in to watch Bombshell. OMG! If you haven’t seen this yet, you need to ASAP. This movie was so intense, and it totally fired me up too. Robert Ailes and Fox News are just disgusting (and that’s putting it lightly). I was ranting all the way until I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Even though it made me so mad, I definitely recommend watching it. The acting was spot on.

Saturday

Saturday started a little earlier than I would have preferred. K was up at 5:48, but when I offered to sleep on the floor next to his crib until the ‘yellow light’ came on (7:00), he laid back down. Unfortunately, he didn’t want to wait until then, so he was back up and asking to go outside at 6:20.

We played for a little bit, I made some breakfast, Vishnu woke up, and then V + K headed to the Children’s Museum. I debated going with them, but I had a few big things I wanted to get done, so I stayed home. But don’t worry I went to soccer on Sunday!

While they were away, I worked out, meal prepped, and started on a little art project we’ve been wanting to work on for a while. It’s for Kaiden’s room and involved his daycare artwork from over the past 2 years. I’ll share more in my Friday post, but I love how it all came together!

After Kaiden’s nap, he and I went to Mariano’s to pick up a few groceries I couldn’t find at Trader Joe’s. K’s been asking for chocolate ice cream for a couple of days now, and it’s not a treat we go out for often, so I grabbed Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked for the fam! It has chocolate in it, so K should be satisfied…(P.S. we haven’t opened it yet…but that’s a story for a different day).

The rest of the evening was pretty routine for a Saturday.

Sunday

Sunday morning started at 5:45 again, but this time K didn’t want to stay in his crib for that long, so we were out in the living room a little past 6. The first part of our morning was spent watching Daniel Tiger, playing with our balloons, and eating breakfast.

Then we all got ready for soccer (yes, even me!) and headed out.

Watching K on the field is so fun. His little personality really shines through. I’m excited to see him start the next class even more because that one starts to get into more skill and independent playing.

After soccer, we stood around chatting with our friends (who’s son is in Kaiden’s daycare and soccer class). Vishnu suggested we go to brunch, so the six of us walked to a nearby restaurant for a delicious meal. Surprisingly, our toddlers were fairly well behaved too!

The rest of the day was spent cooking, reading (I finished The Silent Patient – SO GOOD!), and negotiating with our little guy (they should really teach a negotiations class for parents of toddlers).

Anndddd…that was our weekend in a nutshell! Hope you had a good one. 🙂

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