Parita - My Inner Shakti

My Journey – Postpartum Food and Fitness

I refused to title this post ‘My Postpartum Body’ or ‘Body After Baby.” Phrasing it that way really irritates me. Pregnancy is such a beautiful and miraculous experience, but for some reason, women oftentimes forget about everything their body did for them over the course of nine months and instead focus on reaching postpartum or ‘body after baby’ milestones. Personally, I refuse to subject myself to that kind of mindset. My body is still my body.

Before I share my journey and experience, I want to state that it’s just that. MY journey and experience. I’m not going to share pictures of myself or anything like that because 1. are you kidding me (shudder!)!? and 2. as I quickly learned, it’s not just about what your body looks like after nine months. There’s so much more to this whole thing.

With that, here we go…

BACKGROUND

Let’s start with pregnancy. It’s insane…in so many different ways…most of which are wonderful. I remember being in awe of my growing belly and thanking my lucky stars for the opportunity to create life. It was and always will be the best thing I ever did. However, it comes with some side effects. Those weren’t always so fun, especially the swollen legs, feet, and ankles. But I got through it, and my body didn’t fail me. Instead it enabled me with my long walks to and from work, my early morning workout sessions, etc. Never have I been so thankful for the body I have!

Then came the actual delivery. If you read my post about Kaiden’s birth story, you know it didn’t go according to plan. But I do attribute (at least partially) the positive ending to the hours of exercise and movement I racked up over the course of the nine months. It really does make a difference!

Then came a five night hospital stay because of all the complications. Because of all the fluids they had to give me + the antibiotics, my body was SWOLLEN. I mean, I looked in the mirror on day two, and immediately called out to my sister because what I saw freaked me out! Everything from my waist down was inflated. Vishnu said my legs felt like plastic, and even my mom was freaked out (although she kept telling me I looked great). It took 2-3 weeks for the swelling to go away completely. I never thought the day would come.

PRESENT DAY

Since that time, my body has continued to change. It’s slowly normalizing (whatever that means!). I will say though…I don’t think it will ever go back to the way it looked pre-Kaiden, especially in the belly area. And you know what, I’m 100% okay with that. I mean, I housed my child inside of me. That was his home for nine months. It’s totally ok if that special part of me looks a little different. And truth be told, I’ve never had a super flat belly, so how can I realistically expect to have one now.

With all of that being said, I am trying to be mindful of what I eat and reminding myself to move whenever possible. Not because I want my body ‘back,’ but because I want to feel my absolute best for me and my family. They really need me! Ha!

Before I share a little more on my habits and the tools I’m using to help me along the way, there are a few things all mamas should be aware of before starting on their own journeys. It goes without saying, but any and all decisions should be discussed with your doctor. He/she really does know best!

If you’re breastfeeding or pumping, you want to ensure you’re taking in an adequate amount of calories. This is not the time to start a restrictive diet (there’s never a good time for that but that’s a different topic for a different day). Your body needs fuel to keep up with all the milk your producing, so if anything, eat more! I’ve read more than one account of mamas restricting calories and losing their supply.

The same mantra goes for exercise. If you want to keep your supply up, don’t aggressively exercise. And more than anything, go with what your doctor says with regards to movement. If you’re told to wait eight weeks (like me), wait eight weeks. Instead of thinking about missed gym time, enjoy your baby. It’s worth it!

And my final observation pertains to the number on the scale. The number has never meant less to me than it does now. Pregnancy has showed me that the number on the scale and what you see in the mirror don’t always correlate. You can weigh what you did pre-baby and still not look the same, and on the flip side, you can weigh a little more and look better than expected. My advice to all new moms is to remember that the scale is one small slice of a very larger pie. Personally, I’m using my pants to measure progress. Thankfully, most of my pants/jeans fit now but not as comfortably as they did before, so my goal is to get to the point where I truly feel like myself in my pants. Ha! And to be completely honest, I’m using my clothes because I don’t want to spend money on new pants/jeans. Basically, I’m cheap!

Ok so here’s my postpartum food and fitness non-plan plan… 🙂

Overall, my mantra is to take it one day at a time. Life with a baby requires you to make plans and adjust as you go. My vision of how I think our day will unfold rarely matches what actually happens. And that’s ok. Hey, if this type-A maniac can learn to roll with it, anyone can!

FOOD

When it comes food, the D word is a major no no. As boring as it may sound, my philosophy is to keep it simple, fresh, and delicious. The sugar monster inside of me wants all the goodies I can find, but I’m trying to lower my sugar intake as much as possible (re: not eliminate it because what’s the fun in that!). I’ve also increased my water intake because the more water the better, especially for breast milk production. I haven’t jumped back on the alcohol train just yet, aside from one beer and one glass of wine. I’d like to keep it infrequent going forward…at least for now! As far as eating out is concerned, I try to make the best choice I can in the moment. We eat pretty healthy at home, so I don’t mind ‘splurging’ if you will every now and then. Again, what’s the fun in always picking the healthy option!

I have a post in the works about meal prepping to avoid eating (crap) on the go. Lots of thoughts on that now that time is a rare commodity! Coming soon.

FITNESS

I have even less of a plan when it comes to exercise. Ha! My philosophy is to move as much as possible whenever possible. Sometimes that looks like designated gym time, sometimes that looks like a Barre3 online workout at home, and sometimes that looks like a long walk with my boys. If possible, I’m trying to exercise intentionally 4-5 times a week for 30-40 minutes. Key word is trying. But really, it’s all about building up daily activity at this point in time. One thing that’s super helpful with regards to working out is having a supportive partner. Vishnu encourages me to do what I need to do for my self-care. Have I mentioned that I love him because I do!

So that’s where I am at almost three months out! Can you believe it? Three months!

Hoping to fit in a 40 minute Barre3 workout tonight…or a nap. We’ll see how I feel. Agility at it’s best!

Beauty Essentials – New Bronzer + Finishing Powder

written by Parita 4 Comments

I don’t run a beauty blog that’s for sure. But I LOVE trying new makeup, skincare, and hair care products. There’s a caveat to that though. I always run my decisions by my close friend Thea. Always. She’s my go to when it comes to these things, and truth be told, she’s saved me from myself a few times. I’ve switched up my purchases based on her recommendations and always end up happy when I do.

So a few months ago when I randomly decided I was ready for a new bronzer and finishing powder, I obviously went to Thea for some help. I wrote down what she suggested, went to Sephora, made my purchases, and never looked back once!

If, like me, you want/need to upgrade your makeup bag, keep reading.

First up is the Too Faced Chocolate Soleil Bronzer in Chocolate. If you follow beauty YouTubers, you know this stuff comes highly recommended and is loved by pretty much everyone.

Personally, I love the matte finish as I’m kind of over shimmery makeup with the only exception being eyeshadows. I don’t have the most even skin tone, but a little bit of this bronzer applied over my foundation and concealer with a big fluffy brush gives me the ultimate healthy glow. I can’t speak to using this for contouring (although I know you can and lots of people do), but if you’re looking for an all over the face bronzer, this stuff is the jam. AND it’s made with cocoa powder, which means it smells like CHOCOLATE.

If the ~$30 price tag sounds too high for you, remember a little goes a long, long way. I’ve been using this stuff for months and haven’t made a dent yet. A must have product if you ask me!

Next we have the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder in Dim Light. If I had to pick a few ‘can’t live without’ makeup products, this would definitely be in the top three.

I apply this over my bronzer with a big fluffy brush and love the radiant finish it gives my skin. As my long time readers know, I suffer from acne, and with acne comes scarring. This powder helps to blur and soften my imperfections while also providing a photo ready glow. And while it looks shimmery, it’s not at all (see above). In fact, it gives my skin a dewy, natural look. You guys, this powder is a GAME CHANGER. It will take your makeup game to the next level.

And again, if you’re not impressed with the price point, purchase the mini size. Not only does it cost much less, but it’ll give you the chance to test out the product before splurging on the standard size. I have the mini, and it’s still going strong.

I highly recommend adding these two products to your makeup collection. If nothing else, your face will thank you!

Your turn – as far as makeup goes, what are your top three favorite products? For me it’s definitely the two I talk about in this post + the NARS soft matte complete concealer.

Friday Things + Favorite Links

written by Parita 4 Comments

I’m coming at you a little later than usual on this warm and sunny Friday (it’s 80+ degrees in Chicago today!), but hey, I made it!

Yesterday was one of those days that started out great and ended with me asleep on the couch at 8 pm. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open, and my energy levels were so low. Thankfully, that all changed this morning when I got to sleep in for an extra hour while Vishnu watched Kaiden. However, as I got out of bed and walked into the living room, I felt a little guilty for ‘sleeping in.’ When I mentioned this to Vishnu, he told me not to. “You got up at 1:00 am and 5:45 am, babe.” Even still…little pangs of guilt remained for a bit. This mommyhood business is a funny thing, I tell you.

I suppose it’s a good thing I woke up for those feeds, as Vishnu works a week of nights starting tomorrow. Wish me luck! Honestly, I’m not too worried. By the time Vishnu leaves, Kaiden will already be asleep, so it’s just that 1a/2a feed that I’ll have to tackle on my own. We shall see… 🙂

Oh also, speaking of Vishnu and work. I was totally wrong about his schedule last weekend. I thought he worked a 24 shift from Saturday am to Sunday am, but it turns out he only had to work a 12 hour shift on Saturday (8a to 8p). Finding that out made my weekend! Also, I should probably look at my calendar every now and then, as I had it correctly noted in there. Oops!

I started Dr. Brene Brown’s newest book this week. It’s called Braving the Wilderness, and like all of her other books, it’s fantastic. I’m on chapter 3, and her words are resonating already. I highly recommend checking out her work. She has the 5th most viewed TED talk in the world, she’s written four books, there are countless articles/interviews you can Google and read…the options are limitless. Her work is truly life changing.

So I shared in last week’s post that we got an Instant Pot. I’ve used it three times now, and I can honestly say I like it a lot. While not every recipe is ‘instant,’ it does cut down on cooking time and the number of dishes needing to be washed. I can tell this new device is going to take lot of experimentation and patience to learn, but once we get it, I can see us using it every day. I mean, my IP lasagna soup turned into IP pasta, but it tasted delicious so there’s that!

Other than that, this week was pretty normal…ish! I have a handful of weeks left before I go back to work, so just trying to enjoy every second with my little guy. More on that coming soon!

And for my favorite links of the week…

Marriage after kids…kind of a different ball game!

Totally on board with this way of life

So simply put but so true

#3 and #8 really ring true

Problem solving v. question posing – love this

Meditation, weight lifting/yoga, walking = happiness

“To know if sparks are going to fly, Joel says, nothing is more telling than an old-fashioned face-to-face.” ABSOLUTELY!

Sometimes the best of intentions have severe consequences

LOL…yes to all!

How delicious does this look and sound? And it’s vegan!

It’s squash season, y’all!

Cue the tears (and no, we are not giving K a brother or sister any time soon!)

Have a wonderful weekend!

No portion of this post is sponsored. However, there are affiliate links included. There is no extra cost to you, but I do receive a small commission on anything you buy through my links. Thank you for reading and supporting My Inner Shakti!

Ernesto’s Chilaquiles at Nookies | Chicago

written by Parita 2 Comments

Three Chicago neighborhoods are lucky enough to call Nookies home (Old Town, Lincoln Park, and Edgewater). Serving delicious and comforting food guaranteed to satisfy even the pickiest eater’s taste buds, Nookies’ menu covers the gamut in terms of flavor.

When it comes to eating out, I can be creature of habit. What can I say? When I find something I absolutely love, I stick with it. Consistency, baby!

This is certainly true when eating at Nookies. I’ve now dined there five times, and all five times, Ernesto’s Chilaquiles have been part of my meal in some shape or form. Yes, they’re that good!

Side note – if I were to ever meet this Ernesto, I would give him a hug and then pester him until he gave me the recipe for his chilaquiles!

Traditionally, chilaquiles include fried tortillas, salsa, and cheese served with eggs and beans. Ernesto’s are no different in terms of composition, but they take the cake in terms of flavor. The tortillas and eggs (scrambled but not overly) are layered with generous amounts of cheese and smothered in perfectly spiced sauce. All of this deliciousness is served alongside [the creamiest] refried beans, rice, and sour cream.

One of my favorite parts of this dish include the eggs and tortillas. As Thea (who’s now been to Nookies twice!) said, you really can’t tell the difference between the two. It all just melts in your mouth! I also LOVE the beans. When I say they’re the creamiest, I mean it! I want to swim in them will simultaneously stuffing my face by the handful. Ha!

I felt the need to share about Ernesto’s Chilaquiles because a lot of my readers live in Chicago, and those who don’t will likely (or at least they should) visit at some point. And if/when you get the chance, you must put Nookies at the top of your must try restaurant list.

While I won’t be ordering anything different anytime soon, the menu is full of other great options as well. I’ve tried the veggie croissant sandwich and the crepes (both excellent), and Vishnu really enjoys the meaty skillets. But if you want the ultimate delicious meal, go with the chilaquiles and thank me later!

Your turn. Are you a fan of chilaquiles? What’s your go to brunch dish?

So That’s What They Call a Mother’s Intuition

written by Parita 4 Comments

Mother’s intuition. Essentially a sixth sense moms have about their children. Also, something I never totally understood. Like how does that even work?!

Well…now I know.

Let’s rewind for a second though. For the first 20ish weeks of my pregnancy, I was convinced we were having a girl. Like I knew it in my gut. Ummm.. so I was 110% WRONG! In fact, when we found out we were having a boy, I looked at Vishnu and said, “Our baby isn’t even here yet and my mother’s intuition is wrong!”

Fast forward to last Thursday morning at 1 am. Kaiden was a hot hungry mess, and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to change him before feeding him. He didn’t like that. I know because he screamed his cute little head off. In my sleepy state, I changed his diaper very quickly and moved on to more important matters…milk!

As I eventually fell back asleep, I thought to myself, “I hope Kaiden doesn’t poop between now and his next feed because I have a feeling his diaper isn’t as secure as it should be. I should get up and check. I should get up and check. I should get up and check…” SNOREEEEEEEEEEEE…I was out!

I should’ve listened to my intuition because sure enough Vishnu woke me up in frenzied state at 4:45 am. His exact words were, “Par, wake up. We need to give Kaiden a bath right now. There’s poop everywhere.”

So at 5 am, we gave Kaiden a bath. 5 am. Something usually reserved for right before bedtime.

After all was said and done, I looked at Vishnu and said, “That was my fault. I rushed when putting his diaper on.” I went on to explain the nagging feeling I had before falling asleep.

Vishnu’s response? “Well, that was crazy but kinda fun, right?”

Crazy? Yes. Fun? Debatable.

Also, note to self. This is what they call a mother’s intuition. When something feels off, listen to the voice in your head. ESPECIALLY when it comes to diapers. Lesson learned!

Friday Things + Favorite Links

written by Parita 6 Comments

What a week, what a week! Overall, it was another good one. However, there were a couple of trying days in the mix.

After a somewhat busy weekend (pizza night (in), Lincoln Park Zoo, hanging out with my cousin who came to visit, my fantasy football draft, etc.), we spent most of Tuesday hanging out at home. Vishnu took the day off and watched Kaiden while I got a haircut. Nothing too dramatic. Just shorter! And just to clarify, he didn’t take the day off so I could get a haircut. Haha. The rest of the week was good with the exception of one day where I just didn’t have my act together (blog post to come soon!).

This weekend should be a low key one. Vishnu’s working a 24 hour shift on Saturday, so it’ll just be me and K. Thea’s going to come over and hang out. We may or may not have brunch plans…Nookies…chilaquiles…need I say more! 🙂 Other than that, I hope to squeeze in some reading (for pleasure), clean out my closet, and do some MIS brainstorming. Fun times!

A few other things I wanted to share…

We got an Instant Pot! I’ve only used it once so far…to make rice. I hope to experiment more soon and share some delicious creations.

When Vishnu went grocery shopping last week, he picked up a little surprise for me. Have you guys tried the Bark Thins snacking chocolate? Umm…so I told Vishnu to never surprise me with this again. I have no self-control and this is way too good for someone like me to have just sitting around the house. Ha!

We recently (as in two days ago) transitioned Kaiden to Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit. This thing is a little ridiculous as it resembles a space suit, but ridiculous or not, it’s working so far. I have a blog post in the works about K’s swaddle transition over the past couple of months. This is something I wish I’d known more about earlier on.

And finally, I bought a couple of pairs of workout leggings on Costco.com. This is worth sharing because they are fantastic. I love the fit, the pattern, the fact that they stay in place around the waist (you’d be surprised!), and the price…ONLY $16.99! If you’re a Costco member, I highly recommend trying these out.

Ok, so enough rambling from me. Here are some of favorite links from the week!

Who says vegetarian food has to be boring?!

Moms are human too!

Keeping up with the Joneses. Totally agree that we need to draw the line somewhere.

Some of these literally had me LOLing!

Beautiful!

Yes to all of these. I need to print these out and put on my fridge and even my desk at work.

I’m guilty of not having any set morning rituals. After reading this article, I’m changing that. Remember, it doesn’t have to be complicated.

This was dinner yesterday. SO FREAKING GOOD. A must make…and so easy too!

Sleep is key for strong interpersonal relationships. The supporting research is super interesting.

This hits close to home!

Love this insightful interview.

And with that, HAPPY FRIDAY!

P.S. For those of you in Hurricane Irma’s path, please be safe! Sending as many positive vibes as I can muster.

Relationship After Baby

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In the back of my mind, I knew most everything would change after Kaiden was born. I was right. And I’m happy to report most of the changes are positive. What I wasn’t so sure about was my relationship with Vishnu. I knew we’d be absolutely fine, but I was convinced it would be a ‘rocky’ fine. The kind of fine where you can feel the tension in the air. Mainly because it would be one of the best AND most stress filled time in our life…especially early on.

Wellllllll…at two months out [of the womb…hehe], there is no looming tension and zero rockiness. Instead, there’s lots of laughter, love, and compassion.

Before I share how Vishnu and I go most days without wanting to strangle each other, let’s rewind a little bit.

I’ve always been open about my relationship and marriage. It’s not perfect by any means, but we work super hard to keep the fire roaring if you will. I could not be prouder of where we stand today, BUT that wasn’t the case throughout my pregnancy….

…because Vishnu and I got on each other’s nerves a lot. Any little thing would trigger me, which would trigger him, which led to unnecessary bickering and sometimes arguing. The last few weeks were particularly tough. Looking back, I think we both knew our lives were about to change forever, and the pressure of that kind of took over. On top of that, I was super duper uncomfortable, Vishnu’s schedule, while not terrible, wasn’t the greatest, and we weren’t logistically ready for the baby. In fact, we went to Ikea the weekend before Kaiden was born and bought a ton of stuff that was delivered the week I came home from the hospital. Not ideal but we made it work!

The turning point in our relationship happened the minute Kaiden was born. All of a sudden we went from being on separate pages to being on the same team and playing the game pretty darn well. How did this happen? I wish I could tell you, but it was like a switch went off in both of our heads. Kaiden needed us to be a united front, not to mention we wanted to be as well, and so we were.

I will say….it’s easy to be united at the hospital. You literally just shared a life changing event and everything’s so new. And in the craziness of it all, you really have no choice.

The true test comes when you bring your baby home. This is when s*** gets real.

While our experience hasn’t been 100% free of arguments or bickering, Vishnu and I have truly grown as a couple of the past couple of months. In fact, I was just telling him the other day that I appreciate him 10x more now than I ever have in our relationship (and that’s saying a lot because I’ve always appreciated him). And when we do argue/bicker, we’re able to bounce back a lot quicker than in the past.

I attribute this to a few different things. A few lessons we’ve learned along the way…

Always operate under the assumption that you’re on the same team. The best kind of assumption because it puts things in a positive perspective. Kind of like a ‘when you’re good, I’m good’ kind of mentality.
Learn how to communicate as parents. You’re going to be under a lot of sleepless stress. It’ll take some work, but figure out what communication strategy works for you two, use it, and adjust as you go. Vishnu and I use gentle reminders whenever we feel the other person is out of line. So far so good. Also, keep the positive reinforcement going. I tell Vishnu how much I appreciate him every day, and I can tell it makes his day!
Learn to listen…like really listen. For us this means listening to each other’s concerns, ideas, etc. when it comes to Kaiden. Sometimes I tend to operate under the “I know best” mentality. However, I’ve realized that Vishnu also knows best too. After all, he is Kaiden’s daddy!
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for help. This is one I’m still working on because the guilt is real, but I know I can’t/shouldn’t do it all on my own. I feel guilty because Vishnu works all day and takes on a very active role at home with Kaiden. Poor guy is exhausted. What’s helped me is realizing that by not asking for help/including him, he’d be missing out on key parenting moments. And neither one of us wants that.
Make time for each other. Whether that’s having a conversation about your day or watching your favorite shows together (when you have time!) or holding hands while falling asleep at the end of the night, find a few minutes (or more!) for just the two of you. It’s hard when you really only have an hour or two to yourself, but for us, it’s key to staying connected and in sync. Making time for each other is also good for intimacy…in all forms.
Lift each other up. Being a parent is hard. Like really hard. You’re constantly second guessing yourself, and sometimes you make mistakes. When this happens, it’s so nice when your partner looks at you and says, “It’s ok! Don’t be so hard on yourself.” For example, the other day, I was cutting Kaiden’s nails and accidentally caught a tiny part of his fingertip. Of course this led to many tears…both mine and his. Vishnu looked at me and said, “You’re not the first mom to do this. It’s ok and he’s ok.” You have no idea how much hearing that from him helped. It’s easy to criticize, but that’s not helpful and it’s certainly not nice. You’re both trying your best to do right by your baby, so base how you treat your partner with that in mind.
Laugh…as much as you can! It’s so easy to take your new role super seriously. But what’s the fun in that?! Vishnu and I often (err..all the time) feel like we have no clue what we’re doing, and instead of freaking out about it, we do what we can, make it fun (for us and hopefully Kaiden!), and laugh every chance we get. Personally, I think it helps Kaiden just as much as it helps us. I’ve heard babies can sense the emotional climate around them and react accordingly.

Like I’ve said before, there’s no one else I’d want to be with on this journey. While not perfect, Vishnu’s a freaking amazing dad and husband. And I’m not half bad either. 🙂 But like everything else in life, we work super hard every step of the way, and at the end of the day, that’s what makes us a strong team. And when we stumble, we get right back up and keep on keeping on. For Kaiden and for us!