What a loaded question, huh?
My response when most people ask me how we’re doing is ‘we’re ok!’ or ‘we’re hanging in there.’ And while I’m ‘ok’ most days, my real response would be ‘I’m ok but nervous and tired and a bit unsettled since we don’t know when we’ll be saying bye to COVID-19.’ But I’m guessing most people who are ‘ok’ are also feeling that way so why reiterate the thoughts they already have floating around their heads.
Anyways, I was thinking about whether or not I wanted to blog at this time. And while I’m finding that time is even more limited with Kaiden home and me trying to work while he’s playing/sleeping, I’m going to try and write when I can. Not sure how often or even about what, but I do want to document our experience during this time because I want Kaiden to have something to look back on. And what better than your own mom’s words, right?
We’re a little over a week into this thing, and if I’m being honest, week 2 is a little harder for me than week 1. Last week, I was all like, “Ok, let’s do this. Let’s hunker down at home, so we can flatten the curve and save our healthcare system from collapsing.” This week I just feel so upset that so many people are choosing not to social distance and that the numbers are increasing so rapidly. Also, my heart goes out to Italy. I can’t even imagine what they’re going through right now.
I also feel more helpless this week. I know staying at home is important, but I want to DO something. I asked our building manager if we can organize a canned goods/pantry foods drive to donate to the Chicago Food Depository…hoping she says yes!
Also, while the whole working from home with a toddler and balancing household stuff is getting easier (just because I feel like I have no other choice but to look at it more positively), I also feel like a short order cook, the cleaning person, the laundry czar, etc. most days.
BUT let’s talk about the positives. I’m SO SO SO lucky to have a job where I can work from home and also get to work for a company that’s super understanding right now of working parents who have their kids at home with them. And while Vishnu works at the hospital and that’s scary, I’m thankful that he also has job security right now. We don’t have to worry about anything financially right now, and that’s a HUGE HUGE HUGE blessing. I try to keep this in mind whenever other things get me down. This is also another reason why I want to give back as much as I can.
Something else I’m super thankful for is getting all this extra time with Kaiden. He’s been in daycare since he was 6 months old, so this is all very new to us. And while it’s not easy at all, I am loving all the extra cuddles and hugs and fun K time I’m getting. He’s also extra cuddly with Vishnu too, so that’s been nice to see. And I think Vishnu loves it too!
It wouldn’t be fair for me to share all that and not talk about the flip side. Because we’ve been a little lax with our rules lately, Kaiden’s meltdowns have been super intense. And almost all of them are ignited by us saying ‘no.’ And it’s not like a “NO!” It’s more of a ‘not right now’ or ‘let’s do this right now and we’ll do that later.’ Oh man, intense doesn’t even begin to describe what follows. Thankfully, it’s over fairly quickly. But the steps needed to get to that point are so time consuming. With that being said, we’re all in uncharted territory right now, so trying to give each of us grace and acknowledge we’re all doing our very best.
There’s a lot of sharing over on IG right now focused on keeping toddlers busy. And while I’m so super appreciative, I find myself getting a little overwhelmed some days. May be it’s a boy vs. girl thing, but my kid needs me for everything. And before you think, ‘Wow you’re an awful mom!,’ let me clarify. He’s almost 3, and it’s nearly impossible to get him to play by himself for 5 minutes, which is manageable under normal circumstances. But when you’re trying to take a work call, it’s crucial your kid can play independently. The only thing that seems to work right now is talking to him in simple terms before I get on my calls about how mommy needs to work and that I need him to play by himself for a little bit. Well, it worked today, so that’s a start.
In terms of what we’re doing to keep K as engaged as possible…it just varies. We’ve been reading a lot of books lately. We play pretend with K’s stuffed animals. We kick/throw one of many balls around. We play with Magnatiles and Legos and puzzles. I also try to give Kaiden something new every day to keep him ‘in it.’ One day it was dry kidney beans. One day it was coins and a makeshift piggy bank I rigged up. Not easy keeping the novelty up, but whenever I can, I try.
When this whole quarantine thing went into effect, I ordered a few things to help get us through – these window crayons, paints, construction paper, kid friendly scissors, puzzles and a couple of new books (this one and this one). We’ll see how much it all really helps!
I think this is enough of an update for now. I’ll be back soon(ish!).
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