“What is your one big goal for our marriage?”
This is the random question I asked Vishnu the other day. I brought it up because even though we’ve had a million “deep conversations,” this question has never been discussed. And I wanted to hear whatever sweet response he came up with!
But seriously, I think questions like this and the conversations that follow are important to building and sustaining a strong relationship. They keep you connected in a different and deeper way. And more often than not, they remind you of why you’re together!
So, when I asked Vishnu about his one big goal for our marriage, he responded immediately. And here’s what he had to say (I’m paraphrasing)…
From our engagement shoot – November 2011
My goal is to continue to be best friends throughout our marriage. That’s the relationship that kicked this whole thing off, and it’s the one that’s most important to me.
Some people take the words marriage, husband, and wife too seriously. They put parameters around who they’re supposed to be, what they can and can’t do, what they should and shouldn’t do, etc. They place too much emphasis on the role instead of treating the other person like a friend (or better yet being friends). For example, when it comes to our friends, we make an effort to keep in touch, know what’s happening in their lives, ask questions, be genuinely interested, etc. We should be doing that every day with our significant others!
Of course, there’s a time to be serious and there’s an inherent responsibility that comes with the words “I do.” But when friendship is at the base of it all, and you nurture that element of your relationship on a daily basis, it’ll pay dividends for years to come!
Love his answer!
And here’s my answer.
How we entered our wedding reception. The song we walked in with was ‘Snap Yo Fingers’, and Vishnu was Lil Jon (clearly!).
My goal is to make having fun a priority throughout our marriage. It’s my favorite part about us as a couple, and I want that to be the case for the next 50+ years!
Life’s too short not to have fun, whether that’s at work or when you’re with family and friends, but especially when you’re spending time with your partner in crime. And fun by no means equals fancy vacations, dinners out, or material “stuff.” It’s truly the little things. I always tell Vishnu that we could be in a shack in the middle of nowhere, but as long as we’re laughing and having a good time, we’ll be just fine!
Ladies, my one piece of advice is to marry someone who knows how to make you smile/laugh and gets your kind of fun. Of course, it’s not the only thing you should look for, but it will definitely make every day of your marriage one to look forward to!
And before you think it’s all roses and unicorns over here in the MIS household, let me assure you that we have our ups and downs. As I’ve always said, when you take two different people and bring them together…for life…there will be conflict. The goal is to keep it healthy and productive. Vishnu and I never let disagreements simmer for long periods of time. We give ourselves some alone time, talk about it, and forget about it (eventually!). But going back to our responses, when your goals include being best friends and having as much fun as possible, the conflicts/disagreements becomes easier to deal with and less frequent.
What’s your one big relationship goal (whether you’re in one or not)?