The other day my mom asked me what I thought of marriage so far. It’s kind of funny because she remembered the fact that it’s been three months since the wedding while Vishnu and I didn’t even talk about it. Vishnu even goes as far as saying that July 4th (our dating anniversary) means more to him than our wedding anniversary because that’s when we actually began our journey together. Cue the awwws…
Anyway, my conversation with my mom got me thinking about the things that I’ve learned in the past three months. Honestly, nothing about Vishnu and being married to him has surprised me…in a “I want to strangle you” kind of way. What has surprised me is that I’ve learned a few things about myself that have me rethinking my entire life….jussssst kidding! Truthfully, I think marriage has changed me a tiny bit and that does make me think a little. All my thinking has led me to this…marriage is a discovery process, where if you’re brave and open, you’ll learn things you never thought to be true or even possible. And if both people are open and willing to learn, develop, and grow TOGETHER, everything will be all good!
So in honor of 3 months of marriage, I’m going to share 3 small things I’ve learned.
1. Marriage has toned down my type A personality. Shocking! While there will always be a part of me that craves structure, organization, and exactness, I am already seeing a shift in my mindset and priorities. For example, I sometimes choose doing nothing (either by myself or with Vishnu) over tidying up the apartment, making the bed, etc. This is big for me because a year or so ago getting things done was more important than just “being.” And sometimes, we all need to be and not do. Like I’ve said before, the dishes will be there tomorrow and so will the laundry…don’t you worry!
2. Vishnu and I are more compatible than we seem. Don’t get me wrong, we definitely have our fair share of differences. But for me, that was very expected. The differences between us seven years ago are still present today, we’ve just learned how accept and in some cases deal with them. Ha! What I’m really talking about is our taste in home décor. I know that sounds dumb, but based on all of our pre-marriage conversations, I really thought this would be one area where we would just clash. Surprisingly…not the case! Our views on furniture, accent pieces, wall décor, etc. have magically aligned for the most part. And when we do disagree, we find a way to compromise and meet in the middle. Hmmm…so that’s what this marriage business is all about!
3. I’ve always been proud of the fact that Vishnu and I are best friends above all – we make each other laugh a lot, we share our thoughts openly, and we allow each other to be individuals. However, over the past three months and more so recently, I’ve learned that the key to our relationship is that we truly adore one another. Again, don’t get me wrong. We also annoy each other to no end sometimes and fight a little here and there, but at the end of the day, I feel so lucky to be married to a man that I’m crazy about. And I know for a fact that Vishnu’s smitten with me as well (he told me so yesterday…in not so many words)! Over all else, we cherish our relationship and feel blessed to be able to spend the rest of our lives loving and annoying one another.
No marriage is perfect. In fact, if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, laugh…and then laugh a little more for me. In reality, marriage is a lot of hard work. But if you’re working hard with the right person, it’ll feel more like a challenging game, one where you’re both playing for the same team!