3 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Months

The other day my mom asked me what I thought of marriage so far.  It’s kind of funny because she remembered the fact that it’s been three months since the wedding while Vishnu and I didn’t even talk about it.  Vishnu even goes as far as saying that July 4th (our dating anniversary) means more to him than our wedding anniversary because that’s when we actually began our journey together.  Cue the awwws…

Anyway, my conversation with my mom got me thinking about the things that I’ve learned in the past three months.  Honestly, nothing about Vishnu and being married to him has surprised me…in a “I want to strangle you” kind of way.  What has surprised me is that I’ve learned a few things about myself that have me rethinking my entire life….jussssst kidding!  Truthfully, I think marriage has changed me a tiny bit and that does make me think a little.  All my thinking has led me to this…marriage is a discovery process, where if you’re brave and open, you’ll learn things you never thought to be true or even possible.  And if both people are open and willing to learn, develop, and grow TOGETHER, everything will be all good!

So in honor of 3 months of marriage, I’m going to share 3 small things I’ve learned.

1. Marriage has toned down my type A personality.  Shocking!  While there will always be a part of me that craves structure, organization, and exactness, I am already seeing a shift in my mindset and priorities.  For example, I sometimes choose doing nothing (either by myself or with Vishnu) over tidying up the apartment, making the bed, etc.  This is big for me because a year or so ago getting things done was more important than just “being.”  And sometimes, we all need to be and not do.  Like I’ve said before, the dishes will be there tomorrow and so will the laundry…don’t you worry!

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2. Vishnu and I are more compatible than we seem.  Don’t get me wrong, we definitely have our fair share of differences.  But for me, that was very expected.  The differences between us seven years ago are still present today, we’ve just learned how accept and in some cases deal with them.  Ha!  What I’m really talking about is our taste in home décor.  I know that sounds dumb, but based on all of our pre-marriage conversations, I really thought this would be one area where we would just clash.  Surprisingly…not the case!  Our views on furniture, accent pieces, wall décor, etc. have magically aligned for the most part.  And when we do disagree, we find a way to compromise and meet in the middle.  Hmmm…so that’s what this marriage business is all about!

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3. I’ve always been proud of the fact that Vishnu and I are best friends above all – we make each other laugh a lot, we share our thoughts openly, and we allow each other to be individuals.  However, over the past three months and more so recently, I’ve learned that the key to our relationship is that we truly adore one another.  Again, don’t get me wrong.  We also annoy each other to no end sometimes and fight a little here and there, but at the end of the day, I feel so lucky to be married to a man that I’m crazy about.  And I know for a fact that Vishnu’s smitten with me as well (he told me so yesterday…in not so many words)!  Over all else, we cherish our relationship and feel blessed to be able to spend the rest of our lives loving and annoying one another. Winking smile

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No marriage is perfect.  In fact, if anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, laugh…and then laugh a little more for me.  In reality, marriage is a lot of hard work.  But if you’re working hard with the right person, it’ll feel more like a challenging game, one where you’re both playing for the same team!

24 Thoughts on “3 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Months

  1. Awww this might be my favorite of all the posts you have written – SO cute! I love the fact that your marriage is based on a friendship and that you guys are equals…equals in the sense that while you may have your differences, you both still respect them and work at getting around them! Lovely pics too, P…are you sure you guys aren’t straight outta Bollywood ;)!

    • Parita on October 10, 2012 at 8:08 am said:

      Thank you, K! Vishnu and I are very different but we love that about each other. If he was just like me, I don’t think our relationship would’ve lasted very long! There can only be one control freak per relationship. :P

  2. Aww i love this and I love the photos!! You guys are adorable. It’s so easy to look past what’s important, I like how you say it’s not about being the same but learning to coexist happily with the differences!

    • Thank you! The differences can either hurt your relationships or make it fun. We choose to have fun! And I mean who wants to be married to their twin – not me!

  3. I could look at your wedding photos all day long. :) Glad you are enjoying marriage so much already

  4. So happy for you! Since I just got engaged, I’m very curious to hear what marriage is like! Great post :)

  5. What a great attitude! I found our first year of marriage to be super tough. I was like, “oh crap, what are we doing?” Haha.

    Love seeing your wedding pics!

    • A lot of people told me the first year would be super hard. But we’re doing ok so far – a few tiffs here and there bit that’s expected. I think for us we’re just happy to be together after 4 years of long distance.

  6. Oh my gosh, your weddings photos (and you!) are absolutely gorgeous! And what a great post–especially the first one. It’s a good observation in general! Sometimes just sitting still is more important than getting little things done. Now if only I could remind myself of that more often…

  7. Those pictures are AWESOME!!! I can totally relate to this post. Except the married part :) My parents have a very different relationship from the one I have with my boyfriend of 5 years. I’m sure they love each other, just not in the playful, open, honest, laugh all the time, you’re my best friend kind of way. In my opinion, this is the best kind of relationship :)

  8. I love this post !!! specially the first one, I am so so glad you learned to relaxed vs. ‘ getting things done and not “being” ‘ so early on. Since you are like me in so many ways I can relate to this one and I learned to do that later than you but I am proud of you to be on track from early on…it is better for you and your loved ones…hehehe…keep it up..love you and miss you a lot…

  9. loved all these pictures! you are so beautiful!! and what great lessons to learn!

  10. I love all your photos – awww…makes my heart smile at all that happiness and love. You are very right, and the thing is that you keep on learning and discovering new things. Now that we are going to be parents – my relationship with Evs has subtly changed – for the better. We’re even closer (if that’s possible!) and in this new journey are still being surprised :)

  11. What a sweet post! And your wedding photos are gorgeous! I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a very long time but I don’t envision myself getting married anytime soon. It’s weird because I never grew up as one of those girls who dreamed about their wedding and I still don’t… it just doesn’t seem that important to me. I wonder if things will change as I get older though because I am only 25!

  12. first of all you guys look very cute in all the wedding pictures. I cannot agree with you more Parita. Even though I am not married..but just being in a relationship, it is a game where you both are playing for same time to ultimately win a trophy of happiness and understanding. I could relate to you so much in this because my guy is pretty laid back and he makes me feel it is okay to let the laundry/mess/dishes be the way it is and enjoy the moment..i did not think that was me!! As long as there is understanding, communication and love- even annoyance turns adorable :) I guess thats love!

  13. Congratulations and wishing you a very happy married life.
    I loved your wedding photographs. Looks like a fun wedding. It’s so important to be good friends with your spouse. After that, everything just seems easy!

  14. Truer words have not been spoken! Marriage is hard work … but one can have a lot of fun doing that work (just like you are!). (;

    Love the pictures. They are super cute!!!!

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