One Big Ball of Stress

You wouldn’t necessarily know it from reading my blog, but lately I’ve felt like my stomach is constantly in one big knot.  In other words, I’ve been a little stressed.  It’s not a bad thing (don’t worry, mom), as I truly believe the little everyday stresses are what keep us moving forward. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that are constantly on my mind, and I know no one is going to believe me, but the wedding isn’t one of them.  In fact, I can’t wait until the wedding because I know it’s going to be a ton of fun.  The things that do weigh heavy right now are finding an apartment that both Vishnu and I like, finding a job in my new city, and being a good wife.

Stresses

Let me explain…

As far as the apartment is concerned, I did the research and compiled a list of 10 places for us to check out this weekend.  However, without knowing where I’m going to be working, we’re basically just going with a central location.  And to top it all off, none of the places on my list wowed me.  I know I sound like a brat when I say this, but I want our first apartment together to be nice and a place we both want to come home to.  We’ll see.  I’m 99% sure there’s nothing to worry about, but this has been on my mind for a while now so I thought I’d share.

The next thing that keeps me up at night is the good ole J-O-B.  With Vishnu being in school for the next three years, I’m going to be bringing in the $$$.  Currently, I have two potential opportunities in the works, but I won’t know anything concrete for another few weeks.  Everyone keeps telling me to take time off after the wedding and not rush the whole work thing, even if it’s just a month.  But I don’t want to.  What would I do all day?  Anyway, with all the effort I’ve been putting in and plan on putting in over the next couple of months, something should materialize (*fingers crossed*).

And finally, the whole wife thing.  I don’t know brought this on, but I’m afraid I won’t be a good wife.  Now, if one of my friends came to me with this thought, I know I’d be able to talk them out of it by sharing that no one is perfect, every relationship is different, and that there is no right or wrong way of being a wife.  However, when I try to tell myself those things, I get more stressed out.  This one really baffles me because Vishnu and I have been dating for so long, and I truly believe I’ve been a great girlfriend.  If I had to guess, I think I’m more nervous about being responsible for someone other than myself and not being good at that.  I’ve shared this with Vishnu, and of course he thinks I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t help it.  I know, I know…one day at a time – that’s all anyone can do, right!?

Phew…I really needed to get those thoughts off my chest.  I feel a little better already.

Like I said earlier, stress doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative thing as long as it’s handled properly.  By talking to Vishnu, friends, and family, I’m usually able to stay calm and focused.  Working out regularly and eating nutritious, healthy foods does wonders too.   Otherwise I’d look like this all the time…

stress

What’s something that has been stressing you out lately?  Get it off your chest…I promise you’ll feel better!

14 Thoughts on “One Big Ball of Stress

  1. Your sources of stress are completely understandable…I would be a wreck if I were in your place so I say you’re handling it all well! As for being a good wife, I have no doubt u will be a great one- just the way you talk about Vishnu (even posting about how u want to cook him tasty meals) says a lot! I hope you guys find a great home soon- definitely not a shallow worry at all!

  2. definitely understand why you’re stressed. just take things one day at a time. everything will work out.

  3. I think everyone has “wife guilt” kind of like “mommy guilt”. I always feel like I can be doing more for John on a daily basis and that I could be a better wife. Don’t be hard on yourself! He loves you just for who you are – which is why he’s marrying you!

  4. Gayathri on April 6, 2012 at 1:29 pm said:

    You’ll be an awesome wife! Nothing really changes when you’re married (except that you’ll be living together) and it sounds like you already are really nice to him – aka being a good friend and making him food that he likes. I wouldn’t stress :)

    And good luck with the jobs! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you! I know what it’s like to have a lot of uncertainty in your future at the time you get married, which is supposed to be a happy, exciting time.

  5. Hey there! Still enjoying your blog : )
    Don’t worry, things will all work out so don’t stress.
    Oh, I wanted you to know I FINALLY started a blog of my own. Check it out if you have a chance.
    Congrats on the move and good luck w/ everything!

  6. First, I think you are going to be a wonderful wife – you are thoughtful and an all-around amazing person – but I think it’s normal to be worried about it too!

    The job thing would totally freak me out! Not knowing would be hard, and taking a month or two off would kill me! Whatever happens will be perfect, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for you!

  7. You’ll be fine darling!! There’s no such thing as a ‘good’ wife – only someone who brings into the relationship as much as the other person. And I know, even from just what you post here, that you will be completely fine.

    You and Vish have known each other for ages – THAT won’t change once you sign the dotted line lol. Don’t be so hard on yourself and succumb to these invisible pressures – trust me Vish is probably like “Babe, relax – we’re good”. Like Chelsea said – he loves you for who you are :)

    And remember, your relationship is just that – YOURS. So you’ll find your own rhythm, your own groove and it will be fine :)

    As for everything else – totally understandable. It’ll work itself out in the end, but I have my fingers crossed for you :)

  8. It is only natural to feel that you wont be a good wife but you will be awesome one :)
    I will be looking forward for the updates :)

  9. Can I just say you took these words right out of my mouth:

    Like I said earlier, stress doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative thing as long as it’s handled properly. By talking to Vishnu, friends, and family, I’m usually able to stay calm and focused. Working out regularly and eating nutritious, healthy foods does wonders too. Otherwise I’d look like this all the time…

    Eating well and exercising does WONDERS. Who knew that this could be the best, less expensive way of medication/therapy. I am thankful I didn’t give up on myself or I would have been dependent on that crap like the rest of the world. <3

    So glad I came across you blog… xoxo

  10. Your concerns are normal. I totally get wanting to live in a nice place and you should…nothing wrong with that. Your home is your sanctuary. Being a good wife. I struggle with that… I cook as often as I can and do things to make my Hubbs happy. It is also important to have a sense of self and keep yourself happy too.

  11. I think your stresses are all very normal and I’m sure you’re handling them very well. And I’m sure you’ll be an excellent wife and it sounds like you have a wonderful husband. Happy Easter!

  12. I’m sorry you have so much on your plate! The good thing is that soon most of the stress (or this particular stress) will be behind you.

    I’m constantly struggling if it’s any consolation. I have work, kid, husband, family, cleaning, etc. It just never ends! But I get through it, just as you will.

    Hope you are having a great Easter weekend!

  13. I absolutely understand where you’re coming from. And you’re right about stress being a good thing in some cases. It’s a motivator if you allow it to be. Plus, I know everything will fall into place for you in the end. :)

  14. Pingback: Happily Ever After « myinnershakti

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